22. One Last Fight
22
One Last Fight
WINTER
Is there anything creepier than a hospital? Anything sadder than a place where misery bounces off the walls, sucking and crushing every ounce of happiness from your soul? One bed empties, another fills up. This one comes and this one goes, a reminder of the cycle we’ll never escape. In the end, the majority of us end up here. Between beeping machines and nauseating white walls.
That’s why you have to make sure the story you lived is better than the way it ends.
Spending so much time at the hospital during these past few days has made me reconsider what I want out of my years on this earth. I want to live, not just be alive . I want to seize the moment while it’s here and look back upon my choices with no regrets.
When I get home… I’m going to tell Haze how much I love him. I’ll tell him that I never stopped. I should’ve told him in the car earlier, but I chickened out, afraid that I was forgiving him too soon. I passed a devastated family on my way in, heard them cry over their lost kid, watched them fall apart for someone whoran outof time. I’m done wasting mine.
My gaze jolts up at the nurse entering the room. Jay’s hand grows firm around mine. The forty-year-old woman beckons to come closer, which we do without so much as a second thought. We offer grateful looks to Will, Kass, Kendrick, and Alex. They’re all here. Allie had to work, but she’ll be joining us in a few hours. There’s no way Kendrick and Kass will be allowed to visit him today, but they’re okay with that. Harry might be their uncle, but Jay and I need our dad most of all.
My father’s parents decided it was too much for Maika to handle at the moment. What good would seeing her father on the verge of death do? I don’t even know if someone’s had the “death” talk with her yet.
Heading toward the woman who holds my entire world in the palm of her hand, I combat my nerves.
“No improvement,” the nurse says regretfully. “Still no sign of anyone who matches the hit-and-run description either. He’s in the same state as he was a few days ago, but you can go see him.”
Linking our arms together, we walk toward the room that’s been assigned to our father and give the door a strong push. When I see him lying there, lifeless —gone —it’s like every drop of courage and strength I worked so hard to gain is squeezed out of me all at once. My teary eyes overflow and I’m crying before I can make it to his side. I enclose his hand with mine. He’s cold. Not dead cold, but colder than he’s ever been before. He’s pale, too, almost ghostly, and the only sign that he’s still alive is the recurrent beeping of the machine monitoring his heartbeat.
I wish I could say how much time we spent with him, talking about the most mundane of things, telling him how much we miss him, but it felt so unbearably long and disturbingly short at the same time. Jaden confessed to stealing Dad’s favorite pen when he was a kid, and even in a moment as shitty as this one, we laughed—truly. We could only imagine what he would say if he were awake. He’d most likely make a joke out of it and hug us. He’d be the great dad he’s always been.
“Time’s up.” A nurse pops her head into the doorway.
“Come back to us, Dad. We love you,” Jay whispers before we’re both escorted out. When we step back into the packed waiting room, I dare assume that I’ve been through the hardest part of my day. Apparently, the universe disagrees.
Lauren is awaiting us, sitting with her arms and legs crossed, designer bag by her side. She has no idea that Haze showed me the recording, that I know everything. This woman is not my mother. She’s a monster. She forces a smile and lifts to her feet at the sight of us.
“My babies.” She wraps her arms around us, and I cringe. Jaden, who hasn’t a single clue as to what she said, hugs her back, although still angry about her disappearing act.
“What are you doing here?” I pull away.
“What do you mean? I’m here to see your father. Why else?”
“Why weren’t you here yesterday?” Jay spits defensively.
“I thought your grandparents told you, honey. I was completely devastated. I… I needed some time,” she lies, false pain twisting her features. “But I’m here now. I’m here to see your dad and take my baby boy home.”
My teeth clench.
Hell no.
Jay eyes her with uncertainty.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I say.
Her fake smile is slapped off her face and replaced by a frown. Long gone is the nice caring mom when her true colors burst out to play.
“Is that so? Care to tell me why?”
It takes everything in me not to throw it all in her face. To spill about the recording, just to see her facade shatter before my eyes, but I bite my tongue to keep from slipping. We can use her ignorance to our advantage. This could be an asset one day.
“Well, you work a lot, and I only have school a few times a week,” is the lame answer I settle for.
“So? He’ll be in school while I’m working.” She fails to conceal the bitterness stuffing her words. “Plus, he needs to be with his mother right now.”
Jay gives me a pleading look, one that says, “Please, don’t let her take me.”
“Not to mention that I’m his legal guardian, but I’m sure I don’t need to remind you.” Her smile grows.
My hands roll into fists. I’m completely helpless against her. She’s right. The law wants Jay with his parent, not his sister.
“I don’t want to go back with you!” Jay snaps, taking both me and Lauren by surprise.
“E-Excuse me?” Shock is thick in her voice.
“You heard me. I don’t want to go home with you. Winter’s more my mother than you ever were. She’s the one who showed up. You didn’t give a shit about Dad. Or me!” His outburst draws unwanted attention to the scene.
Her face twists in fury. “Jaden! What did you just say to me? I’m your mother. They told me you were okay. If there was even the slightest chance that you had been hurt, I would’ve been there in a heartbeat.”
That’s when the fake tears come into play.
Guilt decreases Jaden’s anger.
“After all that I’ve done for you. I raised you and y-you think that I’d be capable of—” She lets out the worst fake sob I’ve ever heard, covering her face with perfectly manicured hands.
“Mom, stop, it’s okay. I’ll go with you,” Jay gives in, suddenly acutely aware of the unwanted audience. I must give it to her. She’s good. The witch knew there’s nothing a socially awkward fourteen-year-old moody boy hates more than being the center of attention.
“You… You will?” She sniffles.
“Yes. Just… stop crying, please.” He grimaces.
“Great.” Her sadness quickly vanishes. “I have to go see your father, then we’ll be on our way home.” A nurse walks into the waiting room the next second, beckoning for my mom to follow her. I watch the distance between us stretch with only one thought in mind…
I will bring that woman down if it is the last thing I do.
Haze Adams has put me in situations I’d never experienced before multiple times since I met him. He’s been my first real crush, my first boyfriend, my first heartbreak. He’s been a million things to me, but what he has never been… is gone.
Radio silent, vanished without a trace gone.
He was big on disappearing before we got together, but since we made it official? He’s never ghosted me without so much as a phone call or a text. He’s not a quitter. The thirty-something missed calls I got from him last week made that clear.
Lying in bed with Waze’s head propped on my stomach, I wait for the guy I love to come bursting through the front door. He didn’t come home last night. Nor did he answer any of my calls and messages. He said he was going to get his clothes at Vic’s, then return to me.
So, I waited.
And waited.
And waited.
But he never came.
Alex, Will, and Kass hopped on a plane to Florida early this morning, so yesterday we had a “goodbye” dinner party after I got back from the hospital. It was a great night, one that managed to take my mind off the disaster that’s currently my life. Allie and Kendrick even announced that they were thinking of moving in together, which means my cousin will be clearing out his room as soon as Haze officially moves back in.
But that would require Haze still being alive.
Paranoia steals what’s left of my sanity. What if something happened to him? What if he’s hurt? Should I call Vic? The cops? If he’d ended up crashing at Vic’s when he went to get his clothes, he would’ve called.
Screw this. Pushing Waze off me gently, I grab my phone and sit up straight. It rings five times. He finally picks up.
“Hello?” Vic’s voice emerges down the line.
“Hey, Vic. It’s Winter. Have you seen Haze?” I skip straight to the point.
“Haze? No, I haven’t seen Haze. Why would I have seen Haze?” He speaks so rapidly, doubt creeps into my mind.
I smell bullshit.
Then I hear something in the background.
Him.
I can’t tell what he’s saying, but I’d pick out his voice amongst millions. Vic’s lying.
“Why are you lying to me?”
Thrown off, he says, “Listen, Winter, I know this might be hard for you to understand, but just… stay away from him, okay? Trust me, this is for the best.”
I frown. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“But—”
The fucker hangs up on me.
Maybe I should’ve listened, left it alone, agreed to sit this one out, but I found myself on my way to Vic’s place before my voice of reason could catch up with my emotions.
Striding down the hall, I try and remember which door is Victor’s. Rushed footsteps echo in the distance and pique my curiosity. A gorgeous ginger girl in heels passes me five seconds later. We make eye contact, and my gaze lingers on her hoop earring as she walks—yes, earring, singular . She’s missing one. I can only imagine the insane story she’ll tell her friends.
Must’ve been one heck of a night.
Who knows, she may even be leaving Vic. From what Haze’s told me, Vic broke up with Bea and it’s led him to meaningless hookups.
I come to a quick stop in front of Victor’s door and knock four times. Motion rises on the other side. Footsteps, whispers, murmurs. Then nothing.
The door opens.
“Hey,” I greet Vic.
Shifting from one foot to the another, he says, “Go home, Winter. He’s not here.”
“I heard his voice on the phone.” I glimpse at the guest room door over his shoulder. “Sorry, no time for manners.” I push past him, inside the apartment.
“Winter, wait!” He grips my wrist. “I’m trying to help you here. Just go home. Don’t do this to yourself.”
If I thought I was scared before, I’d obviously never felt like this. Something in his eyes rubs me the wrong way.
It’s pity. He’s pitying me.
What the fuck?
Intent on getting what I came for—who I came for—I snatch my wrist away and close my hand around the handle, glancing back at Vic one last time. Ashamed, he eyes the floor. Weirded out by his behavior, I turn the knob.
I don’t put the pieces together at first.
Not when I see Haze sitting on the pull-out couch he calls his bed with his head in his hands.
Not even when I notice his luggage piled up in the corner of the room.
The first red flag is the guilt radiating off him.
The second is the condom foil on his floor.
But what truly ends me…
Is the hoop earring on his nightstand.
I’m shocked—the kind of shocked that knocks you on your ass, steals your breath away, leaves you for dead. His blue eyes snap up to me.
“Winter, I…” He pushes to his feet. “I’m so sorry. I can explain.”
No, this isn’t real.
The girl in the hall…
She wasn’t leaving Vic.
She was leaving Haze.
“Tell me you didn’t,” I beg, my voice so weak it’s barely audible.
“I’m so sorry.” He walks toward me.
“That’s it?” I blurt. “That’s all you have to say?”
“I never meant for this to happen. It’s just… This time apart made me realize that I don’t feel the same way about you anymore.” He can’t even look me in the eyes, too much of a coward. “I didn’t want to admit it to myself. I didn’t want to accept that what we have is gone. Vic and I went out for a drink when I came to get my things yesterday, and she was there. We started flirting, she kissed me, one thing led to another and…”
“You slept with her?” My voice cracks on the last word.
“You deserve better than me, Winter. You always have. I was never good enough for you.”
“No.” I shake my head in denial. “I don’t believe you. You’re lying.”
He sighs. “I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.” I step forward and push him with all my strength. He tumbles back a step. “You’re lying. We were so close to getting back together. Just yesterday, you said…” Here come the tears. “You said you loved me.”
He rubs his neck. “I know, and I really thought I did.”
I can’t fucking breathe.
“But I don’t.”
Merely hours ago, I thought we still stood a chance. Even after he lied to me, I was dumb enough to think we’d find our way back to each other. But after this? It’s really over. He did the one thing I can never go back from.
Let that sink in, Winter.
He had sex with someone else. He cheated on you.
I offer him the last thread still holding my heart together. “I need to hear you say it.”
“Please don’t ask me that.”
“Haze, if you really cheated on me… if you really just destroyed everything we had for one night, I need you to have the balls to look me in the eyes and fucking say it,” I snap.
He hesitates for a minute. Then, still with his eyes glued to the floor, he exhales. “I slept with her.”
“Look at me,” I insist.
So, he does. Stares me dead in the eyes and says it.
“I slept with her.”
My heart sinks.
“And everything you said? About how you’d never give up on us? How I was the risk you’d always take? It was all bullshit? Just some twisted game?” I’m bawling at this point.
“It wasn’t.” He steps forward, his eyes devoid of the promises I thought would always be there. “I do care for you. But I’m not in love with you anymore. Haven’t been for a long time.”
Ding! You’ve reached your quota of heartbreak for the rest of your life. Congrats.
“I’m so sorry it took me cheating on you to understand that, but… Maybe we can still be friends.”
That’s the last straw.
I can’t think straight. I slap him. Hard. I don’t feel bad. Not even in the slightest. How dare he mention the word “friend”?
He clenches his jaw. “I deserved that.”
I carry myself to the door, footsteps heavy, eyes full of tears. With my back facing him, I choke on words I don’t mean.
“I never want to see you again.”
I have to mean these words. I need to. It’s not registering. That he betrayed me in the worst possible way. That he went back to being the guy he was when we met that first day in the hall. His redemption is gone. Forever.
I rush out of the room to see Vic sitting on the couch with a beer in hand. I know that he heard the whole thing from the wrenching pity displayed by his features. I’m out of their rat hole in a heartbeat. Deep down, I expect him to follow me. To tell me he didn’t really sleep with that ginger girl. Simply because that’s what he would’ve done before. That’s what the Haze I thought I knew would’ve done.
But this Haze doesn’t.
And, as I walk down the hall alone, I know he never will.