Chapter 46
MAGGIE
The morning of my wedding, I drove to Deerfield, praying that the thrift store would be open. As soon as I pulled up out front and saw a little rectangular sign on the door, I realized it wasn’t, but there was a light on inside, so maybe I still had a chance.
I climbed out of the car slowly, reaching into the back seat next and carefully extracting the garment bag I’d brought with me. As I knocked on the door, part of me hoped no one would be here. I had to do this, but maybe—
A woman much younger than Viola, perhaps in her fifties, appeared on the other side of the glass, cracking open the door with an apologetic smile on her lips. “I’m sorry. We don’t open for another thirty minutes.”
“That’s okay. I was just looking for Viola. Is she here yet?”
“Um, no. I’m afraid she’s not. Maybe I can help you. I’m her daughter.” She glanced at the garment bag in my hands. “Are you unhappy with a purchase you made?”
“Oh, no,” I said quickly, stepping into the store when she pulled the door further open. “I didn’t buy this, but I was hoping to return it. Donate it, I suppose. It shouldn’t just be hanging in a closet. Do you have any idea when your mother might be in?”
She grimaced. “I don’t. Hopefully, it’ll be soon. Maybe toward the end of the week, but she had some medical problems a few nights ago and she’s still in the hospital.”
“Oh my God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.”
She waved me in and pressed the door shut behind us. “The doctors have assured me she’ll recover. They’re just running a few tests before they discharge her.”
“I really hope she’s okay,” I murmured. “Do you mind sending her my best? I can bring the dress by again another day.”
Her head cocked as she looked back at me. “Are you the Pembroke girl, by any chance? Hugh’s granddaughter.”
My eyebrows inched up. “How did you know?”
She offered me a soft smile and shook her head. “My mother warned me that this might happen. She left something for you.”
I frowned. “She did?”
“Yeah. Hang on. Just give me a moment. I’ll find it for you.
” She disappeared into the back office and returned with a small envelope only moments later.
“My mom has always been exceptionally good at reading people. She just somehow seems to know when people are going to need her. It’s uncanny, really. ”
I stared at the envelope in my hand with emotion clogging my throat. “It really is.”
Drawing out the single sheet of paper from a notebook, I unfolded it and did a double take when I saw the two words scrawled inside in loopy, feminine handwriting, Be Brave.
“Thank you,” I whispered, letting my eyes slide shut before I hugged the dress to my chest. “I might just hang onto this. If that’s okay.”
“Of course.” She walked me out, wishing me luck.
I left and drove back to the venue, where the carnival was coming to life as the folks in charge started testing the rides and turning on the lights.
Tears jumped to my eyes as I strode to the bridal suite, where I’d be getting myself ready this time.
That had been part of my conditions for today.
I didn’t want a swarm of people in there with me, no makeup artists, hairstylists, or press.
Mom nearly had a coronary, but Cathy had promised to personally help with my hair and makeup, which had probably saved my mother from a trip to the ER.
After hanging the dress on a hook, I walked over to the window, looking out at the scene below.
Daniel and I were getting married at sunset, which meant that no one was in any particular rush now.
In fact, the day was much calmer this time around, the grounds being transformed into my wacky, heavily floral, wildly colorful dream wedding.
A dream I cooked up for Ryan, I realized as I watched Henry laugh with Steve, the venue owner and the carnival foreman evidently having some fun with my madness. I smiled even as my heart tightened. I really, really wish I was marrying Ryan today instead.
That was the only thing missing from all this, a groom I actually loved. Well, that, and the dress.
As the thought occurred to me, I already knew I couldn’t be brave in the way Viola had likely intended for me to be. I couldn’t just throw caution to the wind and act like I didn’t care what my family thought. I was one of them, after all, but maybe I could be a little bit brave.
Once I went into the dressing room, I looked at the pearly white gown my mother and I had compromised on, but then I reached for the garment bag hanging beside it, the butter-yellow catching the fading sunlight outside as I pulled it out.
My eyes burned with tears as I thought back to the moment Ryan had first shown it to me, how utterly shocked I’d been that he’d found exactly what I’d described to him just one time on the train.
“Be brave,” I whispered as I stepped into it, marveling at how perfectly it fit.
If that’s not meant to be, I don’t know what is. As far as I was concerned, it fit even better than the gown that had been custom made for me.
I stood in front of the mirror, running my hands over the silky material and even almost managing a smile. When I swished my hips, the skirt danced around my legs in a soft little wave. I may not want this marriage, but at least I finally feel like a bride.
When Cathy eventually came in to help with my hair and makeup, she blinked a couple times but didn’t say anything about the fact that I was in the wrong dress. She simply pulled me into a tight hug and murmured against my ear. “You look gorgeous, Mags. I love it.”
More tears sprung to my eyes, but I inhaled a deep breath and swallowed them, sitting down at the vanity while she applied my makeup with a much lighter hand than I was used to from her. I even still looked like me by the time she was done, which was really something.
After running a brush through my loose hair and putting just a few spiral curls into the strands, she put her hands on my shoulders and smiled at me in the reflection of the mirror on the dressing table. “There. You’re perfect.”
“Thank you, Cathy.”
She gave me another hug from behind, waiting for me to rise before opening the door to the hallway. “Are you ready? It’s time.”
“Yeah. I’m good.”
She pushed the door open all the way, and as I turned, I realized my father was already waiting in the hall. He breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw me. “I thought it would be best if we walked together from here this time.”
I forced a smile. “Of course.”
Finally, when I wrapped my hand around his offered arm, his expression softened a little. “I’m happy you’re not trying to run away again, my darling. I know this has been hard for you.”
“Yeah, well, I’ve been there and done that. I figured it might be nice to actually go through with it this time.”
He chuckled, but even so, he held on tight when his hand clamped over mine on his arm, almost like he was preparing to yank me back if I tried slipping away again. As we started down the carpeted hall, his gaze swept across the dress.
“Last-minute decision?” he asked.
“Yeah, it was important to me.”
He was quiet for a moment before he nodded. “I’m proud of you, Maggie. You’re being so brave and I know it’s not easy.”
The words hit me like a punch to gut. Deep down, I didn’t feel brave. I felt like a freaking coward. Here I was, about to go through with a marriage to a man I didn’t love without standing up for myself and telling my family what I really wanted.
I thought of Viola and of Ryan.
Putting on the dress had been a sliver of braveness, but right now, my courage had all but evaporated. I’m not brave. I’m a fucking idiot in a pretty dress.
But my father didn’t slow as he led me to the clearing, not giving me any time at all to reconsider. Which I supposed was exactly why he’d been waiting for me right at my door. There’s no getting out of this, Maggie. There never has been, so just suck it up.
As soon as the music began, my father straightened and glanced over at me. “Are you ready?”
No. “As I’ll ever be.”
He leaned over and brushed a kiss to my temple. “Then let’s go do this thing.”
I nodded, stepping forward with him and walking around the chapel to the start of the aisle. The sunset washed the clearing in shades of gold, the old stone sparkling and the wildflowers we were surrounded by turning it into everything I’d ever dreamed of and more.
It’s perfect. Utterly perfect.
For a second as my father led me down the aisle, I had tunnel vision, so completely in awe of it all that I almost didn’t see anything else, but then I caught a glimpse of Ryan and my heart stopped.
Somehow, he looked different from the last time I’d seen him, a little older, a little wiser, and maybe even a little sadder.
When his eyes found mine, however, I forgot all about that. I forgot about everything other than him and that he’d shown up for me. Again.
I kept walking, but it took a minute before I managed to actually look at the man I was about to marry. I was mere feet away from my future husband, and yet, when I finally glanced at him, he wasn’t even looking at me.
He was staring at Ryan too. Strangely, Daniel’s shoulders, which had been rigid since we’d arrived here two days ago, dropped just a little. He also gave Ryan a curt, almost imperceptible nod, and a barely there smile touched his lips.
What the hell does that mean?
The whispers started just as I reached him, the ripple moving through the crowd finally making me look back again. All heads turned, mine included, to face Ryan… who was suddenly on his feet.