Chapter 22 - Mikhail
The warehouse smells like smoke and blood as one of our trucks rolls in, and my mood immediately drops.
Another ambush—another partial robbery and a few of our guys injured, with one critical.
Nikolai enters the room with bandages and antiseptic for the driver and one of the guards with a tense jaw, while Ivan and Sergey look over the truck, supervising as the remaining product is hauled off and counted. The latter has blood staining his arm and face, but it isn’t his.
Despite my attempts to handle the situation on my own, Roman caught wind of what had happened and took it upon himself to come down personally. Of course, he’s less than enthused while he watches back footage we caught and pulled from surveillance on the outskirts of the city.
“This isn’t just bold anymore…this is fully orchestrated,” Roman utters, rubbing a hand against his chin with his brows set.
“It was too fast and clean for Maxim,” Nikolai adds, pointing to the tablet screen as he approaches. “This was coordinated.”
I stand there, lost in thought, while everything unfolds around me. It doesn’t make any sense.
“There are too many bodies,” I mumble, unable to shake the tension lingering in my limbs. “We’ve been picking off Nikolaev men for months. Questioning them, torturing them when we have to, yet none of them are talking. I know damn well Maxim doesn’t have this many men.”
I don’t have to elaborate for the others to understand what I’m insinuating.
Maxim isn’t coming back from exile. He can’t be. He must have something in his back pocket that we haven’t found yet, and it’s starting to pay off in his favor.
Roman glances at me. “You think someone’s helping him?”
“It’s possible. Where else could he be finding numbers like these?” I question, glancing between them. “He may not be causing full devastation yet, but he isn’t exactly striking out either. He’s building momentum.”
“And we don’t know what for,” Roman adds, handing the tablet over to Nikolai. “I want to call him an idiot, but he’s doing more than I expected of him.”
Nikolai tucks the tablet under his arm and glances at the truck. “These last few attacks weren’t just sabotage. They pulled some of our product, and they were aiming to make our guys bleed. Maxim is trying to send a message.”
“And we need to answer before he starts getting ideas,” Roman utters, impatience rising. He looks in my direction. “You said you’d handle it, but this doesn’t look like control to me.”
My chest tightens, and a touch of irritation moves through me. My pride takes a hit.
I’ve always been my brother’s right hand, and knowing I’m not living up to expectations always feels like a fatal blow.
“I know…I’ve been trying to gather as much intel as I can, but the hostages aren’t talking. I need leverage, and I need more to work with.”
“What you need is to contain this shit before it spreads,” Roman says pointedly, not at all pulling his punches. “You’ve been distracted, and we all know why. It’s reached a point where we can’t risk any more damage. I need you sharp, Mikhail. Don’t let this undo everything.”
I know he’s right, but that doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.
The timing of everything lately hasn’t been ideal, and trying to handle Maxim’s shit while keeping everything at home under control has my mind full.
I’m torn between making Lily and Roman happy, and it’s getting harder to carry on my shoulders.
Regardless, I need to. I can’t fumble.
Roman looks at me for a moment longer, then he sighs. “I haven’t been the biggest help lately due to the baby, but until the situation clears up, I’ll check in more often. We’ll do whatever it takes to get things back on track.”
Even if it feels like defeat, needing Roman to come back in, I can’t do anything but nod. At the very least, it won’t be only my responsibility.
Still, Maxim needs to fall, and I’m just as determined to have a hand in it myself.
***
Walking through the front door, the weight of the day pulls my shoulders down, and while I want to shake it, I can’t.
Not bothering to take my jacket off, I toss my keys onto the tray at the front and undo a few buttons on my shirt, hoping to release some of the tension from my neck. But, of course, it doesn’t do much.
Lily is just leaving the kitchen with a cup of tea in one hand while the other holds a medical book of some sort. An oversized sweater hangs from her frame, making her look comfortable and at ease.
For a moment, I wish I could feel that way, too. I wish I could be completely enveloped in that softness and forget about everything else.
But I can’t. Not while Roman’s words echo in my mind.
I can’t slow down, and I can’t wait for anyone.
Lily seems to pick up on my mood immediately before I even have the chance to speak.
“You’re later than usual,” she comments, closing her book while marking her page with a thumb. “Everything alright?”
Pulling in a breath, I try to keep the brunt of it away from her. “Not really.”
Her brows pinch together, looking worried.
That should be a comfort, knowing she’s concerned, but that’s just another thing for me to dance around. Another thing for me to try and explain away.
“Is it the Nikolaevs again?”
Holding her gaze, I hesitate to answer.
She’s been around long enough now to pick up on names and the occasional pattern. Her even using that name makes me squirm a bit on the inside.
It’s not that I want her shying away from the intricacies of my world—especially not when I pushed so hard for her to get comfortable around these things—but her knowing too much is still dangerous.
She’s worried, and I know she’s just trying to understand and engage. Still, I want enough of a divide between her and the dark things to keep my peace of mind.
Not wanting to lie to her, well aware that the trust between us is still delicate, I nod. “Yeah…Maxim’s making more than noise now. He’s doing too much for someone who’s supposed to be laying low.”
“Is anyone hurt?”
I nod. “Some of ours, but they’ll live.”
Her expression remains unreadable as she processes the information. “How long does this last?”
“What do you mean?”
“This fight. The back and forth. Does it ever end?” She asks, sounding tense about it all still. “Or is this how life will always be?”
I should’ve anticipated the slight edge in her voice, but after the day I had, I didn’t like hearing it tonight.
I sigh to myself. “Lily…”
“I’m asking a serious question,” she returns, stopping me before I can dismiss her. “It’s been weeks since you reassured me that everything will be fine. But you keep coming home like this more and more. It’s weighing on you…it’s aging you. And now it seems like things are only getting worse.”
Taking a small step closer, I put a hand against her arm. “I was born into this…there’s always something.”
“I wasn’t,” she snaps, clipped and direct. “And I’m not prepared to lose more to street warfare.”
I pause, watching as something else moves through her eyes. Something else lingering beneath the surface. My brows furrow. “More?”
As if realizing her slip-up, Lily takes a deep breath and moves to set her mug down before crossing her arms over her chest.
“I never told you because I didn’t know how, but…
” she trails off, hesitating while seemingly trying to get her voice to work.
“My brother Wyatt was my guardian after our parents died in a car accident when I was in high school. To make ends meet, he started doing legwork for one of the gangs here before joining it. He was struggling to provide for me, and he thought that was the only way he could make enough money. But he died in a shootout just a few years ago.”
That stops me entirely, and I blink back at her, unable to find something worth saying.
“After it happened, the case went cold, and the police slapped some pointless verdict on the whole thing, but it felt like a cover-up to me. So, I tried digging for myself, and in doing so, I saw your name. Your family’s.
Of course, it still went nowhere, and the cops didn’t take me seriously,” she explains, looking vaguely uncomfortable while sharing.
“I had every reason to believe he was in a group working against your family, and it cost his life.”
It takes me another moment to even get my words in order as that information hits my chest directly. “Lily, I didn’t know—”
“I’m not blaming you personally. It was his choice to get himself involved in something he never should’ve touched,” she says, voice quiet before holding my gaze again.
“But I need you to understand that this world you live in…it already took something from me before I even met you. I swore I’d never have anything to do with your name or anything gang-related. ”
Her words land like a quiet kind of blow, and it lodges deep.
She lost her brother to all of this after he was all she had left.
After all this time, she’s been holding this in. And now it all makes sense.
Her fear, her resistance, and the way she looked at me sometimes like I was something out of her worst nightmare.
Silence lingers between us, and I finally manage to speak.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I didn’t know how to bring it up, and I didn’t want to give you more reasons to think I’m weak,” she admits as if it has been holding her down all along.
“I don’t think you’re weak,” I murmur, closing that gap between us again. “I never have.”
Lily looks up at me, blinking like she’s trying not to cry. “You don’t see me completely. Not really. You just see me as someone who needs protecting. Not someone holding in grief and trying to maintain boundaries. The real me is overshadowed by the things you think you’re shielding me from.”
“I see you, Lily,” I insist, allowing that vulnerability to creep in. “I might not understand everything, especially things outside of what I’m used to, but I’m trying. You’re not overshadowed by anything in my eyes.”
Even if she’s still resistant, she searches my eyes for something. Sincerity, maybe, likely the truth.
“I didn’t know about your brother,” I murmur, trying to offer her anything that might ease her turmoil. “But I’m sorry—truly. If I had known…”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything, and that’s the problem.”
The silence that follows is hard to swallow, but it doesn’t feel hopeless. I let it all sink in before finding my words again.
“You’re right to hate the way things work in my world. There are some things that don’t sit well with me either, but I can’t change them all. However, I can change how I protect you, and how I listen.”
Lily’s expression wavers slightly, and some of that tension leaves her face. Overall, she looks tired, and not just physically. She’s been worn down by too many secrets and keeping everything in.
Carefully, I reach for her hand, and she lets me pull her closer.
“You’ve been carrying this alone for too long,” I begin, gently running my thumb over her knuckles. “And I’ve been focusing on the wrong things. I’ve been trying to push for your trust without trying to understand you more. That’s on me, and I’m sorry.”
Her chin trembles slightly, but she takes a deep breath. “I just…need you to understand why I pull away, and why it’s hard for me to adjust to everything. I’m not just trying to be stubborn.”
I nod, taking in her features. “I get it now.”
Quiet lingers between us, but as tempting as it is, I don’t push closer. Instead, I stand there with her, offering her that gentle comfort.
Then, Lily steps closer and leans in. This time, it isn’t surrender. But exhaustion.
Pulling her in, I wrap my arms around her and lean my head against his.
It isn’t a complete fix, but it’s something.
And at this point, I’ll take whatever I can get.