Chapter 23 - Lily
As much as I want to believe that everything is fine, I still don’t know how to feel.
Mikhail says that he understands, and he sees me, not as a possession or a liability, but as someone more complex than he once believed. Maybe he does. Maybe telling him about Wyatt really did open something between us.
But regardless of his reassurances, I can’t shake that subtle anxiety lingering just beneath the surface. I don’t want to hang onto that doubt, but it still hasn’t disappeared. It’s quieter now, but still impossible to ignore.
The protection he’s offering me isn’t the worst thing in the world. Knowing I’m carrying his child makes it a bit easier to stomach, but I don’t need more guards. I need freedom.
But I’ll never know that old freedom I once had. Not while I’m his wife, and not with the baby.
It’s Friday night, and in usual Lukov fashion, that means we’re going out again.
The club from that night looks the same, but feels different now. This time, I enter it as one of them, and not just as a student.
This time, I’m more tired. Under more strain than I had been.
I tried to object and considered using nausea as an excuse to stay home despite feeling alright, but I don’t. Instead, I follow Mikhail’s explanation about morale and unity despite everything going on in the background.
He didn’t give me much of a real choice.
My dress is dark, simple, and comfortable enough for me to bide my time in. But the moment we walk inside, my senses are overwhelmed by everything.
The music pounds, making me feel off-kilter and unsteady; the lights put me on edge, and the smell of expensive perfumes and liquor surrounds me, making my stomach turn.
It’s too much, and I want to leave immediately, but I hide it as best as I can.
Mikhail keeps me close, hand lightly pressed against the small of my back like usual, almost like he’s tethering me to him. It’s possessive but not cruel, as if hoping to keep me steady.
Of course, his family is already here, sitting in a private section away from most of the action.
I catch sight of Elena as she laughs with Sergey, her lips painted a shade of red that matches her perfectly. She raises her glass upon noticing us, beckoning us over.
Roman and Victoria sit nearby, having a conversation of their own while having a night off from their usual responsibilities. Ivan lounges with someone on his lap, and Nikolai nurses a drink while watching the crowd outside the VIP section with cool disinterest.
“Lily,” Elena greets me warmly, pulling me in for a gentle hug. “You’re glowing tonight.”
I smile at her, shrugging off the compliment. “It’s probably just the lighting.”
She hums. “I’m sure it’s the baby.”
My stomach twists, and I can’t help but stare at her.
Victoria beams. “I was wondering when the announcement would come.”
Noticing my reaction, Elena chuckles and puts a supportive hand against my arm. “I only know because Mikhail couldn’t keep it to himself. He was too excited.”
Still dumbfounded, I glance over at him to find a vaguely sheepish smile on his lips. Otherwise, he seems almost expectant of the conversation. Looking back at Elena, I sigh.
“Surprise?”
His brothers offer us both congratulations at the confirmation, and soon enough, we’re swept into the middle of it.
That’s it—the secret is out.
For a moment, everyone looks genuinely happy, sharing toasts and smiles, and teasing as they normally do. Despite the exhaustion I’ve been carrying around, the atmosphere around us feels light, almost like we’ve been pulled out of the chaos for a little while.
Mikhail smiles, allowing his pride to shine through while he talks to the others, basking in the glow of it all. I already know he’s looking forward to the baby and everything that comes with it, but to see it candidly is something else entirely.
It makes my heart warm, and for once, the hope doesn’t just feel like the kind he’s been trying to offer me. This time, it’s real, and it’s my own.
Eventually, Elena pulls me aside, guiding me somewhere outside of the VIP section to a quiet space. Mikhail keeps an eye on us for a moment longer, then returns his attention to a conversation with Sergey just within the bounds of the plush furniture.
“How are you really doing?” Elena asks gently, giving me that kind smile of hers.
Looking at her and seeing just how kind she is, I’m tempted to lie. But she’s used to her brothers, and surely, she’d just see through it anyway.
“Honestly, I don’t know,” I admit quietly, trying to articulate my words as best as I can. “Everything has happened so quickly, it’s hard to wrap my head around. Some days, it feels like I’m living someone else’s life.”
Elena nods her understanding, not judging me for even a second. “I can see why. A lot has changed quickly for you. I can’t say things will ever slow down, but you get used to it, at least.”
“That’s comforting,” I say, somewhat sardonically.
She just laughs to herself. “I know how my brothers can be, and I know how complicated their lives are. Hell, I’m not even involved in all the big stuff, and my life is the same.
But I also know that they can all be fiercely protective of the people they care about, and I know Mikhail is looking forward to this. ”
“I know,” I murmur, not doubting that fact for a moment. “He hasn’t stopped smiling all night.”
“So try to have a little more faith in him. Let him carry some of that burden and try to enjoy it as best as you can, even when it’s hard,” Elena offers softly, putting a caring hand on my shoulder.
“We don’t always get to stop and enjoy things for long, but when we do, it makes everything else feel worth it.
We’re happy to have you here, Lily. For better or worse, you’re one of us. ”
There’s something both comforting and unnerving in that, but I find myself nodding and pulling a small smile anyway.
I’ve been a Lukov by law for some time, but it hasn’t fully sunk in until now. At least, I haven’t truly felt like one of them. But seeing that sincerity in her eyes makes me look at it differently.
A bark of laughter comes from the private area, causing me to look towards his brothers. Ivan and Sergey are speaking to a woman standing between them, but my gaze drifts over to Mikhail, and that’s when I see them.
Three women hover near him. One has a hand on his arm and laughs a little harder than necessary. The two others look up at him like they’re hanging off his every word. Their dresses are far tighter and more revealing than mine, and their interest is obvious.
He doesn’t push them away immediately, and something prickles in my chest.
That’s when a dark thought creeps in, sparking a different kind of hurt in me.
This whole time, I’ve been so busy worrying about school and struggling to adjust to being Mikhail’s wife that I never stopped to consider what could happen behind the scenes. What he could be up to during those long hours away from home—who he could be with.
Someone in his position, with his money and authority, could do whatever he wanted. He could have whoever he wanted. Given how those women look at him, he would have more than enough takers.
The thought leaves a sour taste in my mouth, and my heart rate picks up in my ears.
Looking away, I can’t stomach how it affects me. How he affects me. I don’t want to care, and I certainly don’t want to be the jealous type, but I can’t help it.
Along the way, I’ve come to care. I do care.
“I’ll be right back. I need to use the washroom,” I murmur to Elena, who doesn’t stop me. She just nods with a smile before heading back to the private area.
Left alone, I hurry out of sight and reach the hallway.
It’s quiet and dimly lit but offers me the chance to pause and take a breath. At least, I try to, all while pulling in shallow breaths.
I never used to be this way. I never used to get jealous quite this easily, and I certainly wouldn’t have cared.
But I touch my stomach gently while looking at myself in the mirror. The child growing inside me changes everything, whether I want it to or not.
And the thought of Mikhail giving anyone else attention in that way...it hurts more than I care to admit.
Leaving the washroom, I urge myself to pull it together and not crumble under the pressure.
But before I can return, I catch the sound of heavy, purposeful footsteps to my right.
Glancing down the hall, I find two men standing there. At first, I assume they’re Lukov men keeping an eye on me, but as I look a bit closer, I realize I don’t recognize any of them. Their suits seem expensive, but they’re ill-fitting and not half as neat as Roman’s usual employees.
They look at me with hard expressions, not neutral or stoic.
On my left, someone else approaches, and he pulls a grin while he looks me over. It lacks all kindness and warmth.
“Can I help you?” I ask, taking a small step back.
Nobody answers, and nobody moves a muscle.
Immediately, dread unfurls in my gut, and I have nowhere to go. Not when they’re surrounding me on both sides. And they’re all staring, gazes fixed on me.
That dread only gets worse until it boils over into panic. That sinking feeling tells me everything I need to know.
They definitely don’t work for Mikhail’s family, and they seem like the exact men he tried to warn me about.
I swallow hard, fighting the urge to fawn. “Don’t do this…”
But the one on my left steps in, obviously unwavering with his intentions. “Just keep quiet, sweetheart…you’re coming with us.”
Cold, icy regret pumps through me, and I try to spin around to retreat into the washroom, but before I can, the man reaches for the handle and pulls the door firmly closed. At the same time, his body cages me against it, sending a horrible feeling through my system.
The other men close in, and I’m surrounded.
My heart pounds against my rib cage, and I try to find my voice. I try to reach inside myself for any kind of solution.
Pulling in a breath, I go to scream, but the man’s fingers grip my hair, yanking me back before I let go of a sound.
And with enough splitting force, he knocks the side of my head against the door, sending white and black spots into my vision.
At once, everything slips into pure darkness.