Chapter 20
Rayna
“You don’t have to go on a date with Jake to prove you don’t like Dominic,” Kelly said bluntly, her face displayed on the bottom half of Rayna’s phone.
Rayna gaped in shock at where the device was propped up against a chunky bottle of lotion atop the chest of drawers in her bedroom.
On the top half of the screen, Erin twisted her rose-pink lips to the side in a worried pout. “It doesn’t seem fair to Jake or Dominic.”
Of the same age as George and Benedict, Erin Nawab was a historian at the POTeM lab, who, like River, was a Study Scout more often than she was a Guardian.
Ever the romantic, she fit the description of a lovestruck fairy with her petite build, jet-black curly hair, olive skin, and the ruby-red eyes of someone who was half Crimson Cast. Despite being opposites in many ways, Rayna had clicked instantly with Erin when they’d met during Erin’s first day at the lab.
On the other hand, Rayna had been friends with Kelly Andrews, River’s fiancée, since their secondary school days, though they hadn’t gotten on immediately.
Probably because Kelly was just as proud and stubborn as Rayna, but in a louder way.
Back then, Kelly had had lime-green hair.
Now she had a bubble-gum pink shaggy bob that brought out the shades of the brown and green in her hazel eyes, and a simple, small silver nose ring that suited her milky skin tone.
Rayna had trusted both women with the details of Dominic’s attraction towards her, so when she’d told them about bumping into Jake, their group chat had gone wild.
Even more so when she’d told them she was going on a date with him.
So it was no surprise that Kelly had started a video call while Rayna had been getting ready that Saturday evening in her and George’s house.
But the fact they were accusing her of doing something so…so almost like maybe what she was possibly doing was bloody damn outrageous.
“I don’t need to prove I don’t like Dominic,” she bit out, lowering a blush brush from her cheek.
For a moment, it seemed like Erin and Kelly side-eyed each other through their phone screens.
“Okay,” Kelly said flatly. “Then you’re hoping this date will prove that you like Jake more than Dominic. Which one is it?”
“Neither,” Rayna snapped. “You realise I was always planning to meet up with Jake, right?”
“Girl, we realise that, but circumstances have changed since then,” said Kelly.
“Rayna,” Erin interjected softly. “Why are you actually doing this?”
Why? Honestly?
Rayna wasn’t even sure anymore.
A week ago, when Jake had asked her out, she’d agreed not just because she’d wanted to, but also because she’d wanted to show Dominic he couldn’t stop her from seeing Jake, no matter what.
And yet she hadn’t been able to bring herself to tell him she was going on a date with Jake.
Because the idea of spiting Dominic’s attraction made her stomach roil.
In fact, the entire week she’d felt like she was being tossed through choppy ocean waves, struggling to get the direction she was going in under control.
She’d tried to put distance between herself and Dominic, but rather than allowing her space, he’d fought to be closer to her.
He’d cornered her, countered her comments, smiled at her, caressed her without even touching her, but only because she hadn’t allowed him to touch her.
She had no doubt if she hadn’t warned him not to, he would have hauled her into his arms and held on until she had no strength left to fight him.
He would’ve drained it all with his determined words.
And it was terrifying.
Because each time, he was forcing her to face the fact that she wouldn’t be running from him so earnestly if there had been no truth in what he’d said. She would’ve told him to fuck off and get over himself, and that would’ve been the end of that.
She hadn’t. Couldn’t.
Because she was attracted to him. Despite knowing she shouldn’t be.
There was no point in denying it anymore.
But she couldn’t bring herself to admit it either, partly because she felt a little foolish for having landed herself in this position when she was usually good at setting boundaries with Studies.
And the other half worried about the consequences of her actions on Victor, Monty, Ash, George, and River.
If the Board of the POTeM project found out what was going on, she wouldn’t be the only one they’d punish. And did she really want to risk everyone’s work just to fuck a man?
The answer seemed obvious. But she couldn’t give the obvious answer.
So maybe she was hoping if Dominic found out she’d gone to see Jake and hidden the fact too, the betrayal would be enough to kill his feelings towards her.
Or maybe Kelly was right. Maybe she was hoping this date would prove she was more attracted to Jake, and then she could finally reject Dominic properly.
Either way, she was ashamed to admit it, but she was taking the coward’s route out. And before now, she’d never considered herself a coward.
It was all fucking Dominic’s fault. Everything had been so good and easy the way it should’ve been before him.
Her body didn’t want men she couldn’t have.
She could be professional with no problem, and she didn’t feel things she didn’t want to feel.
But he had to go fuck it all up with his oversized existence, stubborn affection, and his stupid need to express his stupid feelings.
“He’s a Study,” Rayna settled on saying to her best friends. “Jake isn’t.”
Erin gave a slight shrug. “Does that really matter?”
“Exactly.” Kelly threw a hand out. “You can fuck Dominic for four months and then forget he ever existed. That should be an ideal situation for you. Because it’s not as if you’re gonna end up in a long-term relationship with Jake, Miss ‘marriage and love is a scam.’”
All Rayna could do was shake her head in silent astonishment. “How can you both say that? Knowing the rules of the project.”
Erin sighed heavily. “I get it, Rayna, I do. But you’re not necessarily going to get caught.”
“Erin, can you please just tell her what George said?” Kelly said irritably. “Because she clearly doesn’t know, and I don’t know why the idiot didn’t tell her.”
Rayna’s ears prickled with caution. “What did George say?”
Erin smiled, small and hopeful. “He said when you were with Dominic in his quarantine room while he was being sedated, Monty said that it was fine if Dominic made a move on you. No one would get in trouble.”
Rayna blinked, too stunned to properly process what Erin had said.
Why…why would Monty have said that?
Was it in case the Board found out about what had happened in the quarantine room? To take the blame away from her, from them all, and place it on Dominic? Because Monty couldn’t have meant to imply anything after that incident would be fine too, there was no way.
“See,” said Kelly. “You’re worrying about nothing. Just pick Dominic and stop torturing the poor guy.”
“No,” Rayna muttered and began shaking her head. “I don’t believe Monty said that exactly. And even if he did, he didn’t say my actions wouldn’t be punished. And why should I risk losing my job for the sake of a man? For sex? Am I supposed to have that little respect for my career?”
Silence.
And it seemed like her point finally got through to them.
“Fine. You’re right.” Kelly sighed. “No amount of dicking is worth that much. No matter how good it is. Not that you know if it is anyway.” She sucked in a breath through her teeth. “Well, I guess that’s that then. Hope Jake makes you feel more than Dominic does. Bye.”
Kelly’s face disappeared from the bottom of Rayna’s phone, and Erin’s pursed-lip expression expanded to take up the full screen.
“She’s pissed,” Rayna muttered after a moment.
“Yeah,” Erin agreed. “But for you, not at you. I guess she really liked Dominic.”
Rayna huffed. “She did. It was odd how well they got on.”
While Erin hadn’t yet met Dominic, Kelly had when they’d visited her at her café near Fronis Museum. Despite how protective of River Kelly was, the fact that Dominic had threatened to unalive her fiancé hadn’t seemed to matter once they’d started chatting.
Erin grinned. “Well, that’s better than when I introduced her to Quilla. Kelly would’ve strangled her if Zack hadn’t stepped between them.”
Quilla was Erin and Zack’s new Study who’d arrived not long after Dominic had.
“That bad, huh?”
Erin nodded. “Oh, yeah. Not that I blame Kelly.” Erin threw a quick glance over her shoulder and lowered her voice.
“She’s the biggest entitled bitch ever. You’d think she was a princess and not some head councillor’s daughter.
Even Zack is losing his patience with her, and he’s such a sweetheart.
I can’t wait for the next two and a half months to be over. ”
“And here I thought Dominic was driving me round the bend.”
Erin chuckled before silence fell between them. They stared at each other, unmoving.
“I don’t blame you for not wanting to get involved with him,” Erin then said gently.
“There’s a lot to lose for something that won’t last longer than a few months.
But…” Her ruby-red eyes twinkled with optimism.
“Don’t you wonder why Monty and Victor let you be Dominic’s Guardian even though they knew how he felt about you? ”
She had thought about it. But not deeply, because it didn’t require a deep answer.
“They expected me to still be able to maintain a Study-Guardian relationship with him. That’s it.
There’s no other reason.” Erin opened her mouth to argue, but Rayna continued.
“It’s just attraction. It will fade, and then Dominic will realise I was right.
There’s no point risking so much for so little. ”
“I wouldn’t sound so sure about that if I were you,” Erin said with a smile. “You’re cynical, which is why you’re underestimating your own feelings. But I’d like to remind you, you already find him attractive even though you know you’re not supposed to.”
Rayna was struck speechless by that unnecessary truth.
Her best friend’s expression turned sympathetic.
“We have very different views on love and relationships—I know that. But sometimes, Rayna, feelings happen, and there’s nothing wrong with just…
enjoying them while they last, rather than exhausting yourself trying to fight them.
Even privately. It doesn’t mean you’d be any less good at your job, or any less who you are. ”
Rayna swallowed stiffly as her nerves rattled from the inside out.
Erin gave a small shrug. “I hope Jake gives you the answer you’re looking for. But if you ask me…I think you already know what it is.”