Chapter 21
Rayna
Rayna held her upper arm as she strolled with Jake by her side from his car to the house she shared with George in a comfortable silence at the end of their date.
The early June night sky was bright with a full moon, the air was warm but not heavy or sticky, and the mood was light.
She couldn’t fault anything about it. Not the weather. Not Jake. Not the hours of fun they’d had eating and chatting and laughing until their stomachs hurt. And yet…
They came to a silently agreed stop by the shallow wall that outlined a raised flowerbed in one corner of the driveway, close to a streetlight. They faced each other.
Jake gave her a small, boyish smile as he pushed his hands into his jeans’ pockets, and Rayna found herself catching his contagious contentment.
“Thank you for dinner. I had a lot of fun,” she said.
“Thank you for agreeing to let me take you out. You made the night fun.”
Her smile widened. “You planned it, so don’t give me all the credit. I just showed up on time.”
“Yeah, but the fact you showed up at all? And on time?” His grin turned crooked. “That was honestly the highlight of the night for me.”
She chuckled softly and rolled her eyes. Jake’s smile widened, and he swayed on his feet. He glanced at her with twinkling green eyes. She stared back. His smile waned, and she felt hers fade along with his.
“It’s okay,” he said, his voice deep and smooth with understanding. “Say it.”
Rayna twisted the strap of her small handbag between her fingers as she sighed. “You’re an amazing guy, Jake, and tonight was amazing too, but…something was just…”
“Missing?” he offered.
Unable to find a better word, she nodded.
“That holiday spark is gone, isn’t it?”
She nodded again.
“It was kind of just like…we were two friends, catching up after not seeing each other in a while, wasn’t it?”
Curling her bottom lip between her teeth, she answered with another bob of her head.
Jake dropped his chin and let out a rough sigh. “Fuck.” He lifted it on a groaned chuckle. “This is not how I thought the night was going to end. I’d pictured promises of a second date, not…this.”
She smiled sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”
“No, don’t.” He shook his head. “Don’t apologise.
Please. It’s not your fault, and you’re not the only one who felt it.
I…” He rubbed a hand over his short hair.
“You’re smart and beautiful and just awesome, Rayna, so I’m honestly kind of pissed with myself for not feeling what I felt on that beach, because I thought… I really thought…”
He sighed again, and she couldn’t help feeling tug of guilt.
“So…what now?” he then asked.
She gave a small shrug. “Mutual friend-zoning?”
“Mutual…” His echo faded off into a warm laugh. “I like the sound of that. Mutual friend-zoning it is.”
They shared a smiling moment, then Jake pulled his other hand from his pocket, Rayna stepped closer, and he looped his arms around her in a gentle hug.
It lasted but a few comfortable seconds, but it felt…solidifying. In a good way.
“Can I ask you something?” Jake said as he slipped his hands back into his pockets.
“Of course.”
His gaze darted away before hesitantly moving back to her. “Does it maybe have anything to do with him? I mean that guy you were shopping with at Morkins? Dominic, was it?”
Her heart violently ricochetted off her rib cage. “Wha…why do you think that?” she said, the truth stealing her ability to talk confidently.
His grin widened like he knew something she didn’t. “Well, he was looking at me like he wanted to kill me for talking to you.”
“That…” She opened and closed her mouth. “He just…has that kind of face.”
A chuckle slipped from Jake. “Mm-hmm. And what about the tension between you two that felt almost physical?”
“I don’t—” she started, then stopped and shook her head. “He irritates me.”
The mischief in his eyes brightened. “Irritate can have a lot of meanings.”
Her cheeks ignited. “Not like that.”
He nodded slowly, sarcastically. “Whatever you say.”
Rayna narrowed her eyes, but she let it go when he assured her he’d take her word as the truth, and then said goodbye with one final hug.
Jake waited at the end of the drive as she headed through the front door of her house. She waved as he slowly slunk back with a raise of his hand, before she closed the door.
All her energy was suddenly sapped from her, and she pressed her forehead against the cold, white metal.
Within her chest and stomach, however, was enough energy to light up a whole town for months. All bundled up in knots of emotions that loosened and tightened at once.
Frustration that settled but twisted this way and that like a broken, sparking wire. Dread that trembled as it entwined itself around anticipation. Irritation with Kelly and Erin for having been right about Jake. With herself and with Dominic. Panic. Disbelief.
But the one that pulled the hardest was relief.
Relief that her attraction to Jake had disappeared. Relief that he felt the same. Relief that she wouldn’t end up hurting him. He was a good man who clearly wanted a future with a woman one day, and he deserved just that, but she could never have been that.
None of that relief had anything to do with Dominic, though. At least not in any way she was willing to admit. Or could admit.
The idea of going back to the farmhouse to face him incited an emotion she had no name for because it embodied so many others.
But it filled her with the kind of adrenaline that made her feel like a rocket during a blast-off countdown all through her drive back home.