21. Caitlin
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
caitlin
TWO YEARS AGO
Adam had been shooting daggers at me the entire day. All I wanted was to make it through the day to celebrate my little brother’s marriage without a tantrum. From either Whitley or Adam.
“I don’t like you on his arm,” Adam said with a scowl after the ceremony had concluded and we were driving to the hotel where the reception was taking place.
“It’s not like I had any say in who I was walking down the aisle with. You would have had issues if I’d been paired up with any of his groomsmen. Besides, the grand entrance is all we have left, and then I won’t have to be ‘on his arm’ for any longer.” I spoke with air quotes.
He rolled his eyes. “I wouldn’t have had issues with you walking down with Clay.”
“Well, that’s not how it happened, so can you just let it go? It’s not like you have anything to worry about. I’m your wife.”
“Damn right you are,” he grunted in approval, except it didn’t feel like he was saying it out of pride. More like possession.
I released a big sigh, looking out the passenger window so I didn’t have to face Adam and give him more reasons to argue. Whitley didn’t need to see the deterioration of our relationship.
Was this really what my marriage had come to? Getting in fights simply because I was involved in my younger brother’s wedding and he wasn’t?
When we pulled up to the hotel, I gave him a reluctant kiss on the cheek and waved to Whit. “Mommy’s going to find you two later.” Surprisingly, she didn’t cry or protest, and I was able to leave without any issues.
“Don’t do anything stupid.” Adam huffed. I wasn’t sure if it was a threat or just some petty jealousy coming out, but I ignored him.
The moment I met up with the wedding party, they all cheered.
“Sorry. I would have gone with you guys, but you know.” I shrugged, feigning a casual demeanor. “Wife duties.”
Ellison and Colter exchanged a look that I couldn’t decipher, but it was Isa who squeezed my arm.
“Well, you’re here now, so we can get this party started!”
We all lined up in order for the grand entrance, just as the DJ tapped the microphone and said, “Let’s welcome the wedding party onto the dance floor!”
Clay and Sloane, one of Ellison’s friends from college, were introduced first and did their choreographed entrance, which got some laughs from the guests. Mikey and the girl he was paired with went next, then Hayden and Cora, one of the rodeo wives Ellison had developed a friendship with, went.
I’d gotten to know them a little bit when Ellison had her bachelorette party, but most of that weekend was spent sending Adam hourly updates of what I was doing.
Ironic, considering I never asked him what he was up to when he went on bachelor trips with his work friends.
Especially because I probably had more reason not to trust him, given the company he was surrounded by.
Most of his friends who were married had secret girlfriends. Adam always told me he would never, but if he did, I thought I was better off not knowing.
When the DJ called Jake’s and my names, I stepped through the double doors, but he wasn’t next to me like we had planned. I figured a simple entrance would be best, and that was what we had agreed on.
I looked over my shoulder, and he was saying something to Reid. He gave him a mock salute then ran after me, grabbing my hand and spinning me into a dip in the middle of the dance floor.
“That wasn’t what we agreed to,” I whispered to him as we walked to the head table.
He grinned. “Yeah, but we couldn’t let Isa and Reid completely show us up.”
When they entered the ballroom, Isa was on Reid’s back and he was pretending to throw her off like she was riding a bull.
A smile pulled at my cheeks at the couple. They weren’t together, but everyone could see the attraction between them.
My chest twisted with emotion. I missed that feeling. Of being wanted by someone, even if I was oblivious to it all. Seven years of marriage, and the spark had all but fizzled out, the only thing remaining a sad ribbon of smoke. Like the end of a snuffed-out cigarette.
“They look good together, don’t they?” He sat next to me as Colter spun Ellison on the dance floor.
Dinner and toasts had gone by in a blur, and the moment we were able to get up from the head table, I moved to sit with Adam and Whitley. However, Jake somehow always seemed to find me.
We were a few hours into the reception, so Adam had taken Whitley back to the room for a bit. Maybe Jake knew, and that was why he came over.
Warmth flowed through my body, a lightness I hadn’t felt for a while. “They do. They look really happy together.” I turned my head toward him then reached out to straighten his cowboy hat. “You look good, too.”
“Thanks, I try to clean up every now and then,” he joked with a wink.
“Same.” I snorted. “This is probably the best I’ve looked in months.”
Jake shook his head, his lips jutted into a pout. “Nah. You always look good.”
I lifted one eyebrow. “You haven’t seen me in sweatpants and three-day unwashed hair pulled up into a messy bun, Jake.”
“Don’t need to. You can pull off anything.”
Rolling my eyes, I playfully nudged his shoulder. “Whatever you say.”
“Where’d your husband go?”
I didn’t turn my head to look at him, but my eyes flicked over anyway. “I think he took Whitley up to the room. He’s not big on this kind of thing.”
Jake let out what sounded like a small grunt.
“He’s probably just tired.” I shook my head, needing to fill the silence with something, even if it was just excuses. “He’s been working long hours and going on business trips, so coming to Montana was just another thing on his plate.”
“Does he make you happy?” Jake blurted, catching me off guard.
“What?”
“Does he make you happy?” he repeated. “Treat you well?”
My mouth opened and closed. I willed my brain to come up with an answer, a resounding yes, but I couldn’t.
The absence of an answer appeared to be enough of one for Jake. “You deserve someone who treats you like you’re their entire world,” he murmured, gaze focused on something in the distance. “Someone who would literally walk on hot coals for you.”
“Jake—”
“You deserve better, Cait. We both know it.” Pain flashed in his expression, but it was gone in an instant. “If you ever want to leave him and need someone to support you or a listening ear, I’ll be here.”
My mind flashed back to my last year of college.
I was studying for yet another exam for a class that was taking over my life. All I had to do was get through this last semester, and then I’d be free.
Adam, however, wasn’t helping my stress levels. He’d wanted me to go out to the bar with him and his friends, but when I told him I had to stay in and study, he slammed the door on his way out and turned off his location again.
I knew he was just stressed, too. Tomorrow would be better and he’d apologize. Bring me flowers. We’d be okay. At least I hoped we would.
Still, I pulled out my phone, taking a break from the words that seemed to jumble themselves in my textbook.
Hey.
Jake
Hey. How’s things?
Oh, you know. Same old. Stressed with school and…things.
Jake
Yeah?
Yeah.
It’s stupid.
Jake
Nothing you say is ever stupid. I’m here to listen if you need me to. Or send more cookies.
I laughed to myself, because he always knew exactly what to say to make me feel better.
Cookies would be nice.
“Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’ll always be here for you.” Jake’s voice broke me out of my thoughts.
He had to have been drunk. His words slurred together—or maybe I just imagined it—because they dripped from his tongue like honey. Sweet and exactly what I wanted to hear.
Still, I shook away those thoughts.
He didn’t mean it.
He couldn’t have meant it.