Thirteen
T he forest is still. Normal. Serene. Not the darkness I’ve come to expect.
Not the chilling oppression that usually accompanies the call of his bones.
The towering foliage is vibrant and thick, the gnarled branches and rough bark rich with an ancient knowledge that only comes from decades of undisturbed growth.
The underbrush is understatedly magnificent, and as I push through the peaceful trees, I worry my intuition has finally led me astray.
I have one more scattered part to find. Only one piece until his body is whole, and I always knew reclaiming this one would be the most difficult.
His head won’t be found willingly, and I wonder if these woods are here to mock me.
They’re too beautiful and green to house the black magic of a soul bound to flesh and then carved into pieces.
Yet the pull of our marriage bond led me here.
Somewhere in this dense forest, his final piece lies in wait, despite how easy this last task appears.
I’m almost afraid to hope that this is the end, that I’ve finally completed my quest. This past cycle and a half has been nothing but pain and strife, a struggle I barely survived.
I’m no longer the beauty worthy of Hreinasta I once was.
My body is too thin, my bones stick out, my flesh is scarred, my skin peels from the sun, and my hair’s brittle with malnutrition.
It’s been a cycle since The Stranger set me on this path, the Thaw cool this far north.
Seasons have passed since I saw Kaid, the details of his face blurring together in my memory, the sound of his voice lost in the past. I say his name as I walk so I don’t forget.
I won’t abandon him to history. His death cannot be in vain, cannot be because the Pure One is too weak in her conviction to live among us and follow her own demands.
I come to a small creek, and its clear, blue water sparkles in the sunlight that filters through the leaves.
My desire to bathe and drink wars with my need to find him and end this torment.
I pause, standing on the bank for long, undecided minutes, but it’s my stench that wins the struggle.
The scar on my leg is mostly healed, my arm scabbing from my fight in The Mitte Midagi.
I feel inhuman, more beast than girl, so I strip off my clothes.
I scrub them in the cool stream and then wash myself.
My skin is pink and chilled by the time I’m done, so I sit on the grass in the strips of sunlight, enjoying this rare moment of peace.
Perhaps it’s my fear that’s begging me to stall.
Maybe I’m afraid of this torture ending.
In a matter of days, or maybe even hours, I’ll face The Stranger’s promise.
Before the Season of the Thaw comes to a close, I’ll know if this has been for nothing.
And even if it wasn’t, even if The Stranger holds true to his vow, I’ll see Kaid for the first time since our doomed wedding.
He’ll have been dead seasons, his last memory one of blood and suffering, and I’m no longer the wife he remembers.
I am her shell; her withered bones. What if our marriage was only meant to burn for a moment?
It was more than I ever expected, but it wasn’t enough.
It will never be enough. I’m forgetting him instead of spending my life memorizing him, and I want to drown in that pain.
If The Stranger cannot return Kaid to my arms, I worry it’ll hurt worse than his death. Hope is dangerous when left to fester.
I shove those thoughts down as I test my nearly-dry clothes.
As tempted as I am to remain in this serene pocket of the realm, I must push forward.
I drink from the cool water after I dress, and as I walk along the creek bed, I notice plump berries growing red and inviting on a nearby bush.
Recognizing them as edible, I eat my fill without hesitation.
I eat until the sweetness is almost sickening, but I don’t mind.
It’s been so long since I found food so easily.
These green and vibrant woods are a blessing, and that renews my fear.
Every place deemed worthy of hiding his bones has been a hell of violence and evil.
I’m either mistaken about the call to this northern forest or this is a trap I’ll pay dearly for entering.
I scrub the sticky juice from my fingers and force myself to leave the comfort of the creek.
The further into the trees I venture, the more the serenity unnerves me.
These woods are too beautiful, too vibrant, too peaceful.
The birds chirp, the sun shines, the wind drifts softly.
I’m walking into something; I can feel it.
There’s no reality where finding his head is this simple.
No, Valka wouldn’t have hidden Kaid’s skull with such little thought.
I’ve never heard of this nameless forest, and The Stranger has been quiet.
This stretch of earth isn’t known for monsters or turmoil, so I have no clue what darkness waits for me.
A devil? A beast? The land itself? I prepare for the worst, but when I finally step into the outskirts of a clearing, I realize I wasn’t prepared.
Not for this. Not for what stands before me, guarding Kaid’s final scattered bones.
* * *
“No.” I can’t breathe. “No. No.” I can’t stop saying that two-letter word that’s too large on my tongue.
It makes sense. Everything makes sense. This is why the gods never stopped me from reclaiming his bones.
At first, they assumed the barbarities of the realm would break me, but when I met every challenge with success, I often wondered why they didn’t descend upon me.
I told myself it was because without Death, no one governed the afterlife.
Even if I found his limbs, they would be nothing but useless flesh in my hands.
But I was mistaken. This… this is why they never deemed it necessary to stop me.
My survival in the desert and on the cliffs didn’t matter.
Nor did my triumph in the jungle or my victory in the Vesi.
This was always what awaited me in the end, and I won’t survive this.
“Tell me this isn’t true,” I beg. “Tell me my eyes deceive me.”
“They do not, my child,” The Stranger speaks into my mind, his voice finally present after his long absence.
“Did you know?” I shout. “Did you know his final piece was here?”
“No.” His answer is both the truth and a lie.
“Did you know this was here? In the woods?” I feel dizzy from lack of oxygen, but I can’t calm down. I can’t go in there. I cannot come face to face with the object of my hatred.
The Stranger doesn’t respond.
“Is this why you were absent? Did you leave me without your voice because you knew what I would find?”
Again, he is silent, and I curse him with violence.
I understand why the forest is peaceful, beautiful, welcoming.
It wasn’t harboring a great and ancient evil.
Its secret is something worse, an enemy I despise, but not an evil recognized by this world.
No, the realm sees him as an object of worship and honor.
As someone demanding respect. I haven’t stumbled into a monster’s lair or a witch’s hovel.
No, I’m standing before a temple. It’s smaller than the ones housed in Szent, but it doesn’t matter.
This is a house of prayer. A consecrated holy place.
This is the dwelling of a god. His visage is carved in stone at the shrine’s entrance, but even if it wasn’t, I would recognize his acolytes.
Their uniforms are burned into my memory, visions I’ll never forget.
I understand why Kaid’s head was laid to rest here, for no one, perhaps not even Varas the Great Thief himself, could steal it.
This temple is dedicated to Valka. This is an altar to War, and the god who carved my husband into pieces guards his last resting place.