Chapter 4
“There’s some post for you, Cormac,” Hamish said, entering the dining room and placing the pile of letters at Cormac’s end of the table. “It looks like quite a few invitations for dinner from your close neighbors.”
“Close neighbors?” Cormac grunted.
“Well, as close as you can get in these highlands.” Hamish poured himself a coffee and took a hearty sip. “You should open them up and see what it is.”
“I know what it’s going to be.” Cormac glanced at the handwriting and tossed the letter across the table.
“And I recognize the handwriting again. It’s from Lord McCloud.
He wants me to come to their dinner party at the start of September.
He does this every year, and I’ve turned him down every year. ”
Hamish sighed. “If he keeps inviting you, you should show some gratitude and go to the dinner. It would be good for you to go out.”
Cormac glared at him. “You know why I’m not willingly going to enter another household. Not after what happened to me.”
“But that business with Ottoline happened six years ago!” Hamish pointed out. “You shouldn’t let that get in the way of living your own life.”
“I am living my own life. I’ve got a home, work to do, and I get plenty of exercise. Not to mention I’ve got people I trust around me. What else would I want?”
Hamish rolled his eyes and sipped his coffee, settling in a chair adjacent to Cormac.
“I understand you were betrayed badly, but you can’t hide away forever. That just shows that Ottoline managed to break you.”
“She didn’t break me.”
“Then what do you call hiding away as you are? You’re clearly doing that, and you’re just showing that Ottoline has won.”
Cormac scowled, munching on his toast as he began to settle in his stomach.
He didn’t want to discuss that woman again.
She’d claimed to love him and would love him for the rest of their lives, only to find that she never did.
She didn’t want to have just one lover, and when it came out he couldn’t believe how quickly things had turned upside-down.
If he’d known Ottoline was going to be like, he would never have entertained her in any courtship.
He’d been so close to actually asking her to marry him, and then that happened.
She’d stood with another man in front of Cormac and said she and the other man were getting married.
Even though she and Cormac had talked about marriage themselves, and they knew it was going to happen, Ottoline had taken the other offer because it came first.
She’d never said that out loud, but she didn’t have to.
Everyone in the ton knew Corman and Ottoline had been courting, so to have her suddenly engaged to another man out of nowhere had been a shock.
Cormac couldn’t look anyone in the eye after that.
He hated to be reminded of how he’d lost the woman he loved so brutally, never mind the harsh words she had for him afterward when he confronted her.
“It’s been a long time now, Cormac,” Hamish went on, running his fingers through his beard. “Six years. It’s not healthy to be isolated from everyone, especially when you were once one of the most sociable people in the Highlands.”
“I wasn’t the most sociable.”
“But everyone knew your name. You were happy to talk to anyone, and you had a quick wit that made people laugh. You were well-liked.” Hamish paused. “I’m sure if you go back to that, it’s going to be the same. Everyone’s going to welcome you back with open arms.”
“I don’t think so, Hamish.”
“You won’t know until you try…”
“I said no.” Cormac glared at his friend and factor. “You should stop. I’m not about to be taken back to the ton after what happened. Ottoline ruined it for me, and I know she’s still a part of it. It’s safer for me to not be a part of it.”
Hamish sighed and held up his free hand. “All right, fine. I’ll stop. Even though I think you should give it a try.”
Cormac ignored that last part, forcing himself to finish his toast. Then his thoughts drifted to the evening, when he would be having dinner with Lady Ellingham and her son.
The young viscount had been determined to see him again, and there was something endearing about him that made Cormac want to agree to what he said.
How could anyone turn a seven-year-old down?
“Very well.” He reached for his coffee again. “If you think I should try, maybe I’ll do it tonight.”
“Tonight?”
“Viscount Ellingham has invited me to have dinner at their home tonight. You’re to come with me as well.”
Hamish sat up, his eyes wide with surprise.
“What… what did you just say? You’re dining with someone else tonight?”
“It’s not exactly a shock, Hamish. I’m just welcoming a seven-year-old viscount to the area. He’s only got his mother and governess, so it would be unfair to leave him isolated.”
“Because he’s a child?”
“Because he’s a newcomer, and he shouldn’t be treated like a bad thing in the area.”
“So it’s because he’s a child,” Hamish confirmed.
Cormac rolled his eyes and stood up, gathering his letters with him.
“I’m going to spend the day getting my affairs in order. We’ll be leaving here about six-thirty to head over to Corrieden. Are you sorting out that wall?”
“Yes.” Hamish got to his feet. “The stonemason is going to make a start on it today once the water’s been drained away.”
“Then you’d better go and supervise. And wash when you return.” Cormac couldn’t help but grin as he left the room. “Our host wouldn’t want you to smell like a pond.”
At least it was a change of pace in the evening, Cormac surmised. He could entertain himself with William’s child and get acquainted with William’s wife. She certainly seemed rather guarded, especially with her face.
She kept half of it hidden from everyone, and she looked nervous. Cormac wondered what had happened to her. He’d seen the wounds and guessed she must’ve been in a bad accident. Whatever had gone on, it had been recent and it affected her badly enough that she needed to hide it.
It made him feel sympathy for her plight, being widowed and having to look after a young child on her own. Cormac couldn’t begin to understand what she was going through.
Maybe this would be something that could change how he spent his time. Mostly because Hamish was right, not that Cormac was about to admit it, and also because he was keen to see what Theodore was like. Would he be like his father? Cormac had a feeling that was the case.
He was still thinking that hours later when he and Hamish arrived at Corrieden, washed and properly dressed for the occasion. The doors opened before they approached them, and Theodore Ellingham hurried out, beaming happily at the sight of Cormac.
“Lord Ravensmuir!” He stopped suddenly, and then gave him a stiff bow. “Forgive me, Mama says I need to remember my manners.”
Cormac smiled. “That’s fine, my lord. This is my factor, or steward if you wish, Hamish Ross.”
“Lord Ellingham,” Hamish greeted him.
Theodore looked at him curiously. “Is there a face under that beard?” he asked.
Cormac had to fight back a laugh as Hamish blinked in surprise. Then he recovered and smiled.
“I like to think there is. But I’m going to have to shave to find out.”
“Doesn’t it itch?”
“Oh, Theo!” Lady Ellingham left the house and hurried over to her son, ruffling his hair. “Let our guests come inside before you ask them these questions!”
Cormac couldn’t take his eyes off her, noticing how lovely she was in a dark blue gown. She had her hair delicately pinned to the side of her head, and a veil was attached to a white comb, falling across half of her face. She managed to make the strange attire look very elegant.
She caught his gaze and her cheeks flushed a little, and she glanced away as Theodore began to introduce Hamish. He hovered there, unsure of how he was going to get through this evening when it had been such a long time he’d interacted with anyone in a social setting.
Then Theodore approached him and tugged at his hand.
“Come on!” he declared. “Dinner’s almost ready! I’m starving!”
Cormac allowed the boy to drag him inside, and after their coats were taken, Theodore led the way into the drawing, where Bea the governess was waiting. She stood as they entered, dropping into a deep curtsy. After introductions were made, they sat and Bea began to hand out drinks.
Hamish took his from her, and they seemed to look at each other a little too long before Bea hurried away. Cormac saw the flush on Hamish’s cheeks and bit back a grin.
It appeared that his friend was taken with the young governess already.
“It’s such a beautiful place here,” Lady Ellingham said as she sipped her drink. “I can see why my husband bought this home.”
Cormac bit back a remark that William hadn’t bought anything. Now was not the time, and it was best that she remained in ignorance.
“It’s certainly a beautiful part of the world,” Hamish agreed. “It’s a… different terrain to what you might be used to, but as long as you respect your surroundings and take care with it, you’ll find that it’s even better than you think.”
“You mean we need to watch our footing and not run straight off the edge,” Lady Ellingham said wryly.
Hamish shrugged before gesturing at Cormac. “That nearly happened with my friend here. He’s lived here all his life, and he still ended up getting into trouble.”
“What did he do?” Theodore asked.
Cormac groaned. He knew where this was going. “Hamish…”
“He and I were walking along a path that was by a steep drop, a route we’d done plenty of times before. Then he put his foot in a hole and that made him lose his balance. Broke his ankle trying to stop himself from tumbling over the edge.”
Bea gasped. Lady Ellingham looked horrified.
“What? He almost fell over the edge?”
“I did.” Cormac shuffled in his chair. “It was very rough for me. I couldn’t get down, and I was in so much pain I passed out. I had to be carried down by my father’s servants and had to have my foot reset by a doctor.” He shuddered. “That is not something I want to go through again.”
“How old were you when you did this?” Bea asked.
Hamish chuckled. “He was thirty.”
“What?”
“If he was thirteen, it would be another matter, but a grown man fell over and broke his ankle, only to scream and cry when his foot was getting reset.”
Theodore giggled. Lady Ellingham gave him a reproachful look.
“You don’t need to be like that, Theo. It’s a very scary experience.”
Cormac gave her a grateful smile. He was always embarrassed that he’d done that when he’d walked that route so many times. But, given the circumstances could’ve gone the other way, he was incredibly lucky that he hadn’t fallen. It still sent a shiver down his spine now.
“So you’ve lived here all your life, Lord Ravensmuir?” Lady Ellingham asked, turning her warm gaze onto him.
“Yes. I was born and raised in the house I own now. I’ve been the Earl of Ravensmuir for six years now.”
“It must be very taxing, having to look after something in such an isolated place.” Her cheeks turned a little red and she glanced away. “Not that I’m saying it’s a horrible place to live. It’s just… forgive me, I’m not good at making myself clear.”
Cormac smiled.
“I understand what you mean, my lady. But it’s actually one of the easiest things to do. There’s nobody else for a good distance to argue with over land, and the lines are drawn out very clearly where the land ends for us. There’s been no disputes over that aspect in over a hundred years.”
“Do you mean you used to fight each other?” Theo asked eagerly, sitting forward with a keen interest in his eyes.
“We’re very headstrong out here in the Highlands. We want to make our position clear.” Cormac sipped his drink.
“It’s very quiet out here, yes, and it can be very lonely at times, but you can make the most of it.
It’s certainly a place where you want to hide away, to recover from your inner turmoil.
I spend a lot of time walking or going out riding when I’m not taking care of business.
You do find yourself connected to nature, strange as it may seem. ”
“Including when you break your own ankle,” Hamish teased.
Cormac made a face at him, which made Theo laugh.
Lady Ellingham and Bea looked surprised at the sound, as if they hadn’t heard it from him for a long time.
He wondered if the death of his father had resulted in the young boy not finding as much joy in life as before. Death could do that to someone.
He looked at the dowager viscountess, who was holding her glass in her lap, her head slightly bowed.
She seemed to be keeping her ruined side of her face turned away from everyone.
Cormac had an urge to ask to see it properly, but he understood that she didn’t wish to be seen clearly.
It was humiliating to know that she wasn’t completely perfect.
Cormac didn’t see physical imperfections as something to be ashamed of. It was the heart inside that mattered.
“Is that why you chose to come to the loneliest corner of Scotland?” he asked slowly. “Because you want to recover from inner turmoil?”
She snapped her gaze at him, her eyes wide in surprise. Her jaw tightened for a brief moment, and then she sat up a little straighter.
“It’s beautiful here, yes, but it’s also because of the emptiness.
We won’t be bothered here by those who wish to ask us probing questions about what happened to us.
What happened… to me.” She absently touched the veil against her cheek.
“We’re away from prying eyes, just so we can recover from the turbulence of what happened.
My husband’s death… it was catastrophic on all of us. ”
Something about the way she said it made Cormac wonder if she’d been present when William had died.
He’d only heard that it was an accident and nothing more.
Had his wife been there as well? It could explain her current behavior, the sad look in her eyes, her scars.
He gave her a gentle smile, trying to put her at ease.
“I understand that,” he assured her. “When we need time to retreat, we want to be somewhere that can give us that, where we can be confident we won’t be bothered.
And it can take time. There’s no deadline on how long we have to hide, just as long as we think it’s doing its job.
And that’s nobody else’s business but your own. ”
She blinked at him, startled at what he’d said. Something passed across her face that looked close to curiosity.
“You speak like someone who’s done the same thing,” she remarked.
Cormac didn’t answer. He didn’t know how he could answer that without it all coming out, how he’d been embarrassed to the point that he couldn’t look any of his old friends in the eye. That wasn’t for a first evening with his new neighbors.
And yet, somehow, when Lady Ellingham gave him a tiny smile and a nod, she seemed to understand. She was clearly curious, but she left it be.
That was enough for a bit of weight on Cormac’s shoulders to shift and disappear.