Chapter 5
“There’s a letter for you, my lady,” Mrs. Rivers said, laying the envelope on the table by her plate.
“Thank you, Mrs. Rivers.” Rosalind finished her muffin, catching the crumbs with her hand. “Tell Patrice that these are delicious. I’ve never tasted anything so divine.”
Mrs. Rivers smiled. “I think you said that about dinner last night as well.”
“I just need to express it every time. He is such a great cook. And he only works for this estate?”
“And he’s delighted that he’s now got people to make food for instead of the rest of us servants. You’ll be getting a spread from him every time he eats now, so I hope you’re always hungry.”
Rosalind laughed. “I’m sure that can be arranged.” She gestured across at Theo, who was wolfing down his food. “And he’ll be fine with my son. He’s a growing boy, so he seems to eat everything.”
It was good to see Theo with his appetite back. After William’s death, she’d been worried that he wouldn’t touch his food. But as soon as they arrived at Corrieden and started to eat, he began to eat more and more. It was as if he was getting his zest for life back.
Rosalind wished she could bounce back that easily. She was regaining her appetite as well, but she still had moments where she didn’t want any food. It was all too much for her, and all she wanted to do was hide away and not interact with anyone.
When she had a son, however, that was easier said than done.
“Are we going to Lord Ravensmuir’s stables today?” Theo spoke around a mouthful of toast. “He invited us, didn’t he?”
“Yes, we’re going there.” Rosalind opened the letter. “And you can look at the horses. But you have to remember to be careful. You’re a lot smaller than the horses, and I don’t want you getting hurt.”
Theo rolled his eyes. “I won’t be hurt, Mama. I know what I’m doing around horses.”
Rosalind bit back a smile. To have her son’s determination and not care that there was a chance he might get hurt. He was just fearless.
She didn’t quite have the same thing.
She cast her eyes over the letter, and her heart leaped when she saw it was from Julian.
He asked her how the journey had been, asked after her and Theo, and hoped they were settling in.
There were also other questions that he wanted to know in great detail, mostly about how remote the house was, and how steep the drops were around them.
Rosalind smiled. She could tell that he was concerned; Julian hadn’t known about this house at all until it was mentioned in William’s will. He was likely very concerned, especially when it ended up with Rosalind and Theo being in the middle of nowhere.
In the last week, Rosalind had gotten used to the solitude. It had felt like she was going deaf in the beginning, but soon she got used to it. Corrieden was beautiful, and it was more soothing than she anticipated.
Perhaps she and Theo really could make things work here. If she had a chance to live here permanently, she would take it. If Theo wanted to go back when he was an adult, then Rosalind wouldn’t stop him. She just felt as if she had a calling here, that this was where she was supposed to be.
She pushed it aside. That was likely her thinking after being scared so badly. She didn’t want to go back and have people openly stare at her again. It was humiliating, and it wasn’t even her fault.
She could get used to being here. But she shouldn’t see it as something long-term. Just until everything died down back home, and they could return.
Even as she thought that, Rosalind found herself not wanting to think about it.
“I’m finished!” Theo declared. He beamed at her, his face covered in crumbs. “Please may I get down now?”
Rosalind laughed.
“Of course you can, my Lord. Just get yourself ready to go to Lord Ravensmuir’s estate. Bea and I will take you.”
Looking happy, Theo jumped down from his chair and trotted out of the room. Bea was in the nursery getting the room tidied up. She would get Theo ready very quickly; Bea was very efficient when it came to looking after her young charge.
“The carriage is ready for you, my lady.” Mrs. Rivers began to tidy away the plates around where Theo had been sitting. “It’s prepared to take you when you and Lord Ellingham are ready to leave.”
“Thank you, Mrs. Rivers.” Rosalind smiled at her. “You’re a godsend, Mrs. Rivers. You and your husband. I do appreciate your help.”
The housekeeper gave her a warm smile and curtsied.
“I’m glad my husband and I can be of some comfort to you, my lady. And you and your son have been a pleasure to work for.”
Rosalind didn’t know what to say to that. She was sure her housekeeper had heard her crying at night, only to emerge in the morning when she was more composed. But Mrs. Rivers was tactful enough not to say anything. She really was a godsend.
It didn’t take long for Theo and Bea to appear, heading out to the carriage while Rosalind made sure that her veil was over one side of her face. It didn’t completely block the scars from being seen, but they did blur her features a little. Black was certainly good at that.
She thought back to the blue dress she’d worn the night before. It had been a long time since she’d worn something that wasn’t black but, for some reason, she’d reached out for it. It had been lifting, almost liberating.
It didn’t take as long as she thought to get to the Ravensmuir estate.
It was just as grand as Corrieden, if not more.
It was of dark stone with white windows.
There was something commanding and intimidating about the house, and yet it didn’t make Rosalind feel cold.
It was like something had settled inside her.
This house really looked like a home. A place of solitude and safety. Rosalind could see why Ravensmuir preferred a place like this to anywhere else.
This really was a castle.
Just as they pulled up outside the house, Ravensmuir and Hamish Ross came out of the front doors. Both of them were well-dressed and appeared to have been shaved recently. Ross beamed at them as he opened the door and beckoned Theo out first.
“Good morning, Lord Ellingham. You’re looking well, sir.”
“Morning, Hamish.” Theo jumped down, grinning as he looked up at the house. “This is incredible! You’ve got a lovely house, Lord Ravensmuir.”
“Why, thank you, kind sir.” Ravensmuir gave him a smile and a slight bow. “Would you like to come in and have a look around? Or do you want to see the horses first?”
“Horses!” Theo cried. “I want to see them!” Then he seemed to catch himself and added, “Please.”
Chuckling, Ross reached in and held out a hand to Bea. Rosalind was sure she felt the air crackling around them as Bea took Ross’s hand and allowed him to help her out of the carriage. Then he leaned back in and helped Rosalind, giving her a smile that was warm but not like the one he shot at Bea.
Rosalind thought back to the evening they’d spent together, and how both Bea and Ross seemed to be interested in their own conversation. They’d almost forgotten that there was anyone else in the room unless someone spoke to them. Rosalind had found it very sweet.
It looked like Bea was going to enjoy her time in the Highlands as well.
“Shall we, Lady Ellingham?” She jumped, not realizing that Ravensmuir was at her side. He gave her a small smile. “I’m sure you want to see your son interacting with my stallions.”
“I know Theo is desperate for me to see it all as well.” Rosalind adjusted the veil. “He does love horses. That was something he and my husband had in common. They adored horses, and he was in the process of teaching Theo to ride when… you know…”
“I understand,” the earl said, his expression saying he understood her more than she could imagine. “And I’m sure, after everything you’ve been through, you’re going to be happy to see your son smiling again.”
He was right. Rosalind was keen to see that. She really wanted to know that her son was going to be all right. If it helped him get out of his grieving state and turn back into the happy little boy he’d once been, then she would take advantage of it.
They walked to the stables side by side, not touching, but Rosalind could feel the distance as if there was heat building between them.
She itched to reach out and see if his hand was as warm as she imagined, but she held herself back.
She was behaving like a fool. Why would she care about that? She shouldn’t be thinking that way.
Theo, Ross, and Bea were walking along the stalls, inspecting each of the horses. Ross pointed out something and Theo seemed to be asking a lot of questions. Ravensmuir smiled.
“He looks very much at home.”
“He’s adorable when it comes to horses. I’m sure he could tell you about all of the breeds he knows and how far back some of our own horses’ pedigree went. I don’t know why it fascinates him, but at least he had an interest.”
“We all need an interest that can make us feel better. That makes us feel good knowing that we understand.” The earl paused. “We’re more than happy to have him come here whenever he wants. I presume you won’t have many horses of your own for a while. We could even gift you one or two…”
“I couldn’t do that!” Rosalind said hurriedly.
“Why not?”
“I… I couldn’t bring myself to accept horses from you,” Rosalind protested, finding herself fumbling. “It would feel like charity. I couldn’t do that to myself, accepting…”
He tilted his head to one side, regarding her with a look that felt a little too intense, and Rosalind found herself faltering. A twitch appeared on his mouth.
“You don’t want to feel indebted to anyone, do you?”
“I’m scared of having to owe someone in the future. William warned me about people who were like that, and I…” Rosalind realized she was sounding like a fool and lowered her gaze. “Forgive me, I’m not making myself clear.”