Chapter 17
Theo
The show continues beautifully, filling Elizabeth’s senses for the full two and a half hours.
The music and the dancers are world-class; however, Elizabeth has hardly moved.
Her body is still. She sits upright, shoulders tight, and her eyes glassy.
My hand doesn’t move from her leg the entire show.
Something has shifted in her; I can feel it under my touch.
Her ease has gone, replaced by tension and something I can’t quite put my finger on.
With two minutes until the encore, I stand and take her hand from where it is delicately rested.
She stands; confusion etched across her face.
It only takes her a second to come to the realisation that we are leaving early so we can leave unseen.
Nigel is already waiting with the car. I open the door for her, and we both jump in.
The car ride is silent, and sadness shadows Elizabeth’s face.
I place my arm around her shoulders, pulling her into me, planting a kiss on the crown of her head.
She settles into me, and her body relaxes a little, but my mind runs through the evening trying to figure out when her mood had dropped.
I need to know what’s upset her so much.
We enter the hotel and slip through the kitchen and into the service elevator, heading back up to the suite.
I hold the door open for Elizabeth and watch her enter, shoulders rounded, her confidence gone.
She kicks her shoes off, heads towards the bedroom, and my heart breaks a little watching her walk away from me.
I send the men home for the night and then click the door shut.
I cover the ground with long, powerful strides, eager to reach her in the bedroom as quickly as I can.
She is sitting at the vanity, taking her hair down.
I make my way over to her and slowly start unzipping her dress, stroking her soft skin as my fingers trace down her back. I help her out of it and hang it back in place whilst she removes her makeup.
“Talk to me, Sunshine.” Her head stays dipped, and the silence is deafening.
I walk back over to the vanity, where Elizabeth is sitting, and move her hair to one side. I place both hands on her shoulders and slowly massage her neck.
“Do you want me to run you a bath?” I ask, desperate to get her talking.
I just want her to say something. She shakes her head and stands up from the dressing table, shrugging my hands from her.
My fingers curl into my palm, my nails leaving marks of frustration.
“Elizabeth, talk to me, please.” I beg her to talk to me.
Shout, curse, cry. Anything. I can cope with it all, but I cannot cope with her shutting me out.
“I just want to go to bed, if that’s ok? I am so tired.” I nod, stopping myself from asking again. She leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek. “Thank you for such a wonderful day, Theo.” Her words are quiet and full of sorrow.
I follow her over to the bed and wait for her to pull the duvet over her body. I lace my fingers through hers and softly stroke her hair with the other hand. I sit down on the side of the bed to kiss her goodnight.
“Sleep tight, sweetheart. I’ll be here in the morning. I’m not going anywhere.” She is staring at me with a look in her eyes that I cannot place. It feels like something has shifted, and not for the better. Something is telling me that she is pulling away from me.
I slowly pull the door closed, but freeze hearing a sob come from Elizabeth’s direction.
I stand with my hand on the door handle, torn between going back in and respecting the boundary she’s set.
She made it clear that she doesn’t want me there.
Her cries tear me apart, rooting me to the spot.
I try and think back to when her mood changed tonight, trying to figure out what the issue is.
I release the handle and walk away, striding to the living room and picking up the concierge phone.
I level my voice, holding calm and collected.
“Could you send the manager up, please?” I make the request, knowing that I will have to wait.
It’s past midnight, and I’m well aware that the manager will not be in the hotel.
I’ll wait as long as it takes. I pour myself a bourbon from the bar in the living area and sit in the soft glow of the lamps, the ice in my glass clinking every time I bring it to my lips.
I remove my bow tie and rip open the top button of my shirt as my neck expands in anger.
An hour later, I hear a gentle knock. I open the door and invite the manager in.
He looks as if he has just woken up, his hair slightly dishevelled, though his suit remains meticulous.
I can see the fear he’s trying hard to hide.
He knows exactly why I have brought him here.
I have stayed in this hotel hundreds of times and have never had to ask the manager to join me.
“Is everything alright with your stay, sir?” the manager asks cautiously. His question has my rage bubbling over.
“What do you think, Mark?” He puts his head down for a moment and then he raises it back up, noticing the fire in my eyes.
“I am sorry about what happened today with the paparazzi. We can assure you that we tried our utmost to ensure they didn’t get into the hotel.”
“In the hotel? Mark, they shouldn’t have even known I was here.
Only a handful of my trusted staff knew I was here, so that means that one of your staff members is a rat.
” Mark takes a step back as I raise my voice more with every question that I ask.
“You need to find out who did this, or it will be your job on the line! I’m not letting this go.
” I try hard to compose myself, but I’m too far gone.
Too angry. “I am a loyal customer of yours and spend thousands with this hotel. I should be able to have the confidence that no matter what, I can come here and hide.”
****
Elizabeth
I stir in the bedroom as raised voices slice through my sleep, dragging me awake.
I open my eyes as I hear someone yell. I leap out of bed, fear coursing through me, unsure of what I am about to see.
I quickly put my hotel robe on and tiptoe towards the door, opening it just a crack so I can see down the hallway.
I’m taken aback when I realise the yelling is coming from Theo.
I stand still, listening to the anger coming from him.
“We should be able to spend a couple of days away without the fucking paparazzi scaring her half to death. And whose fault is that, Mark? Yours and your idiotic staff.” I watch Theo pace the living room whilst Mark just stands rigid, rubbing his hands together behind his back.
“The love of my life is lying in bed crying because of today. Fucking deal with it.”
My chest tightens as I replay the words in my mind. I hadn’t misheard. He was as clear as a sunny day.
I slowly open the door and make my way down the hallway. He hasn’t noticed me coming, the anger leaving no room for anything else. I reach out to him as I remind myself… He called me the love of his life.
****
Theo
Her touch startles me into silence. She had been so quiet that I hadn’t heard her coming.
“You can go now, Mark. Thank you,” she whispers to him, a note of softness filling the angry space between us.
She waits until Mark closes the door, then turns to me, resting her hands on my chest in an attempt to calm me down.
I lift her hands to my face and close my eyes, breathing in the scent of her.
I pull her into me, holding her head to my chest, my heartbeat loud in my ears.
“Theo, my darling… let’s talk.” Her voice is so calming.
Nurturing. I nod my head and sit down on the sofa, inviting her to sit on my lap.
She sits on my knee, as light as a feather, and wraps one arm around my neck, keeping the other one on my chest. She slips her fingers through the buttons of my shirt, resting them on my bare skin, the touch bringing me back down, closer to calm.
This is what I need. I need her. All of her. Her nurturing ways, her calming voice like a songbird, her soft touch, the comfort she fills me with when we’re in the same room. It’s a feeling I have never known.
“I’m sorry, Elizabeth,” I start.
“Theo, you need to understand that the cameras out the front of the building were not what made me sad today.” My eyebrows knit with confusion.
She rests her head on my shoulders, and I slowly wrap my fingers into her hair.
“Even if no one had tipped off the papers today, I would still be feeling this way.” I push her forward a little, desperate to see her face and watch her eyes.
“If it wasn’t the papers, what was it?” I ask, confused and searching for answers. I so desperately want to fix it for her.
“It started at the Royal Opera House. When you told me you wouldn’t sit with me on the balcony until the lights had gone down.
So, no one could see us.” She stops for a moment, and I hear a quiver in her voice.
“Even tonight, I couldn’t escape being your dirty little secret.
” The words strike me in the chest. She called herself dirty, and guilt surrounds me, encasing me like a tidal wave.
A tear rolls down her cheek as the pain inside her releases.
“Baby, no. That’s not what I meant. I wasn’t hiding you.
I was hiding myself.” She frowns at me. “I am not ashamed of you, Elizabeth. Please get that thought out of your head.” I wipe her tears from her cheek and kiss her gently where it’s damp.
“If people had seen me tonight, we wouldn’t have had a moment’s peace.
We wouldn’t have been able to leave that box without hordes of people surrounding us on our way out.
” The pain in her eyes makes my heart constrict.
I know I need to tell her about the secret I have been keeping from her, and I need to do it now.
I need to help her understand. I lift her gently off my lap and place her on the sofa next to me.
“I know you believe that, Theo, but the truth is, that if I were your wife, you wouldn’t have been hiding in the back and I am well aware that you don’t think that way, but I’m telling you…” Her voice drifts away into a sob.
“I need to tell you something, Sunshine.” I take her hands and wrap mine around them, staring at our fingers laced in my lap.
Her hands are so small and delicate, and as they lay in mine, the fierce need to protect her returns.
Protect her from myself, from my wife, from the trouble that I know Olivia is going to cause. I can feel it brewing like a storm.
“The newspapers already know about us.” She pulls a hand away and raises it to her open mouth.
“My PR team has kept the story away from release, but I am terrified that they aren’t going to be successful for very long.
The papers are becoming more intrusive now that they know about you.
They are trying to find a bigger story than the one they already have.
” I pause, terrified to say the next few words.
“They have pictures of us inside your cottage.” Her eyes go wide and fear spreads across her face, which makes me feel so unbelievably guilty.
“Theo, what the fuck do you expect me to do with that information? They’ve been at my house?
” She is furious. It is written all over her.
“Oh, I get it now.” The comment throws me off.
I don’t understand what she means. “Your security guard tonight…” She closes her eyes, and I move a strand of her hair from her face.
“What is going through your head, Sunshine? Talk to me, please.” Her eyes raise to meet mine, and I can see the anger filling them.
“I said to him that nobody there knew me, and he was silent. He didn’t look at me, didn’t answer me. It was as if I hadn’t even spoken. People do know about me, don’t they, Theo? There are people, journalists, paparazzi, or whatever you want to call them, who do know me. I’m right, aren’t I?”
“I don’t know why I didn’t tell you. I only wanted to protect you. I would do anything to make sure you’re safe.” And I know I will continue to protect her for as long as I am able.
“How did they know where you were?” She asks the one question that I’d hoped she wouldn’t.
I ignore her, hoping she’ll move on. Hoping the question disappears.
She asks a second time, pushing harder for an answer.
My heart jumps out of my chest as she raises her voice in desperation. “Theo, tell me!”
“Olivia!” Elizabeth gasps, and I watch on as devastation takes over her face. “She was tracking my car.” Elizabeth places her head in her hands, and the tears pour from her.
“What a fucking mess, Theo!” she cries. I’m helpless and don’t know how to comfort her.
She folds into me, and I rub her back, holding her close as she cries, my chin resting on her head.
Her body shakes with each sob, and my heart breaks with every tear that hits my chest. I have done this to her. No one else.
Me.
Eventually, exhaustion replaces the cries, and she falls asleep in my arms, soft after-sobs escaping from her chest. I sit holding her, my body still, terrified of waking her.
When her breathing deepens, telling me she has reached a deeper sleep, I slowly move off the sofa so I can stand and with one smooth scoop, I lift her into my arms. I carry her through the apartment as if I’m carrying fine china.
Her head rests on my chest, curled into me, and all I can think is how badly I am breaking her.
I’m destroying her soul.
She stirs as I lower her into the bed. I pull the duvet over and climb in next to her, still fully clothed. She sleeps in my arms all night. I don’t sleep at all, from fear of her waking and leaving.
The worry consumes me.