Chapter Twenty-Three
Later that night, I stood on my balcony in my palace suite, gazing across Erimbar without seeing its beauty.
I had always loved the crown city of Zaru.
From the day I arrived, it had besotted me.
The ancient architecture, the bright colors, the friendly people, and all the wonderful scents made Erimbar special.
But, like a bored lover, I failed to see her beauty.
All I saw when I looked at my glorious home was the face of a Sea Dragon who was far away from his home.
We were so different, Jucai and I. We could never have a lasting relationship.
So why was I standing there, staring into the night like a pining fool?
I shook my head free of his image. “What the fuck are you thinking, Nadar? Of course, you'll never have a lasting relationship with him. You don't want one.”
Spinning away from the view, I stomped into my living room.
Again, another sight came to mind, falling over reality like a gauzy veil.
I was back in Kansu, in a dark bedroom, staring out at a column of sea behind glass.
Would I miss Kansu? Yes, a little. But I wasn't meant to stay in one place.
I enjoyed being a diplomat because it took me all over Serai.
Would I miss Kansu's king? Maybe more than a little.
But in time, we would fade from each other's memories.
It's better to have a short, glorious relationship than a long one that leads to boredom and apathy.
I got dressed for dinner and left my brooding behind to fetch King Jucai. But he wasn't in his guest room. When I stopped a servant to ask after him, the woman said she'd seen the Sea King headed toward the dining hall with his guards.
Grumbling to myself about kings who expected people to wait for them but wouldn't extend the same courtesy, I went downstairs and into the dining hall. Luckily, I didn't meet any of my ex-lovers along the way.
Many kings preferred to dine upon a raised platform.
Not King Saric. Oh, there was a marked difference between his table and the others in the room.
His was the only one with a white tablecloth and fine porcelain dishes.
But it wasn't on a dais. Instead, it stood against the far wall, widthwise to the room so that the King could face his court, while the other tables stood in lines perpendicular to his.
I dined at a table at the front of the room, on the right.
But since I had escorted Jucai to Erimbar, and he wanted to keep me close, I assumed I'd be invited to dine at the royal table.
But with Jucai arriving ahead of me, I didn't have a reason to approach the King's table, and if I didn't approach King Saric, he couldn't invite me to dine at his table.
It wasn't a big deal to me. I couldn't care less about dining at King Saric's table.
But I was worried that Jucai might take offense at me not joining him.
If he had been a land king, he would have known that etiquette would prohibit me from joining him without an invitation.
But he wasn't a land king, and I hadn't thought to advise him.
I headed down the central aisle, nodding at friends as I passed them by. I was looking forward to dining without people fucking nearby. Hopefully, Jucai wouldn't make a scene and demand that I join him.
At the end of the aisle, I stopped to bow to King Saric, Prince Racmar, and Duke Daha, who sat at the Prince's side.
I bowed next to King Jucai, seated on King Saric's left, where Lady Seysara sat.
Instead, the King's concubine sat on the King's right, between him and Prince Racmar.
Seated next to Jucai were Lady Yevena and her daughter. No place left for me.
So, Jucai hadn't requested my attendance.
After straightening and realizing that no one, not even Jucai, had noticed me, I headed for my usual table.
Heat ran over my skin. I filled a glass with water and gulped it down, but it didn't help.
What was this terrible feeling? I was angry, but it was more than that.
Dear Gods, no! Was I jealous? Over a woman?
! I had known Jucai for three days, and I was feeling jealous? Ridiculous! Over a woman? Absurd!
But Lady Yevena was lovely. And available.
She had been in a love affair with another Dragon that went on longer than it should have, since they never mated.
She got pregnant, had the child, and then her lover found his mate.
It was a lesson for other Dragons to heed.
Don't allow yourself to get attached until after mating. And if that mating didn’t happen within a few months, leave.
Or, in my case, leave when the excitement wore off.
It hadn't worn off with Jucai. But jealousy?
No, I would not feel that way. Not for anyone.
I shifted my gaze to the royal table and found Jucai watching me.
Nodding, I forced myself to smile. With perfect timing, a server placed a plate before me, blocking my line of sight.
I thanked the woman, and by the time she left, Jucai had turned his attention back to Lady Yevena.
Clenching my teeth, I focused on my food.
No doubt his guards, stationed against the wall behind him with the rest of the royal guards on duty, were having a good laugh at my discomfort.
I knew I had caused waves in the undersea court—pun intended—by insisting on Jucai's fidelity.
And yes, I was certain the court knew. Rumors spread like fire in a Dragon court, and Jucai's court was smaller.
His guards probably thought Jucai was teaching me a lesson.
They were right. This was indeed a lesson for me.
After our talk about fidelity, I trusted Jucai to keep his word.
I should have known better. The most unfaithful men are the ones who accuse you of being unfaithful.
The worst part was the ache in my chest. I had convinced myself that our relationship was game, and winning meant gaining influence over Jucai.
It was for my pleasure and the benefit of my kingdom.
But that ache told me I'd been lying to myself.
So what was our relationship about? Lust perhaps.
Domination? No. Fascination? Yes, definitely that.
I had expected pleasure and pleasure alone.
I thought I could enthrall him without being enthralled in return. Evidently, I was wrong.
I didn't like this complication.
Nor did I like the sour feeling in my gut.
I had never felt so left out before. So discarded.
It wasn't even Jucai's choice to exclude me.
Still, I felt as if my king had betrayed me and my lover had let him.
I had been showing King Jucai around the city and trying to solve the mystery of who Ilshi's enemy was.
King Saric had even seen Jucai touching me and asked me about him.
But then I get left out of their dinner discussion?
Why was Lady Yevena invited? I outranked her.
Annoyed, I shoved food in my mouth, keeping my attention on my food and the other diners at my table. I didn't even glance at the King's table. Not once. Instead, I smiled, laughed, and pretended to have a delightful time without Jucai. When all I could think about was him.
“My lord?”
I looked over to find one of the palace boys at my side. “Yes?”
“There's a claw from the Talons here to see you, my lord. He's waiting in the south parlor.”
“Thank you.” I stood up, said goodbye to my dining companions, and left, all without looking at Jucai.
It felt like a rebellion or perhaps a line drawn in the sand.
He had just raged at me for flirting with other men, and there he was, flirting with a woman.
He had said that he only flirted to seduce and was always successful.
If that were true, he intended to have Yevena tonight.
Therefore, I could also fuck whoever I wanted.
As I strode through the corridors, my rage sputtered. A horrible ache consumed me, strong enough to make me stumble. My throat constricted. I started blinking fast.
“What the fuck?” I whispered and swiped at my eyes.
Oh, fuck no! I would not cry over this. Jucai had just proved my belief that men were fickle. As soon as they got someone, they wanted someone else. I had expected this. Just not so soon. I thought we might have a couple of weeks before his gaze wandered.
“Fatherfucker!” I hissed.
Then I composed myself. It was over. Maybe I should be relieved.
I didn't even have to listen to a Let's-be-friends speech.
Nor did I have to make one. I thought he was going to be an issue, maybe throw a royal fit when I tried to leave.
Now, I didn't have to worry about that. I had lost a couple of weeks with a gorgeous man who was an amazing lover.
So what? There were other beautiful men.
In fact, I was keeping one waiting. I resumed walking.
I entered the parlor with furious anticipation, then stopped short.
Arms over the back of the couch and legs crossed, Diaya looked at home among the fine furnishings.
King Saric had mentioned that he had employed Diaya before.
This obviously wasn't his first visit to the Royal Palace.
Smiling, he flowed to his feet with the grace of his people.
A hint of fang showed in his smile. I offered a similar smile in return, though my fangs were thicker, made for tearing, while his were made for drawing blood.
I shivered. Jucai was right—I enjoyed being bitten.
Eljaffna had magic that made their bite incredibly erotic. I could come from a single nibble.