Chapter 13
Sara sighed with contentment as she stepped into the bubble bath. The house was blissfully silent. She had a few precious hours to herself as Tom took the boys fishing, and they weren’t due back until later that afternoon. She intended to stay in the warm water until it grew cold and her skin was all wrinkly. She had candles lit, her favorite Norah Jones music playing in the background, and a book she’d been dying to read waiting for her on her waterproof e-reader. She’d just swiped it on when her cell phone rang. She’d thought about leaving the cell in the kitchen so she wouldn’t be bothered, but ended up bringing it into the bathroom, just in case something happened with the kids. She glanced at the caller ID and saw it was her sister.
“Good morning!” she answered cheerily.
Hannah laughed. “Same to you. You’re in an awfully good mood.”
“Tom is out with the boys, and I just sank into a hot bubble bath with a good book. Life is pretty good right now.”
Hannah knew how rarely Sara got to enjoy a good bubble bath. “Yay! I won’t keep you then. Just wanted to see what you were up to. That was fun last night.”
Hannah had come over for dinner and she and Sara had stayed up late after Tom and the boys went to bed. They’d cooked burgers and hot dogs and drank wine and later had big bowls of ice cream as they watched When Harry Met Sally on Netflix. It had been so fun to just hang out with her sister.
“Are you and Tom still on for dinner tonight?” Hannah asked.
“We are. This may be one of the best Saturdays I can remember. Best weekends, actually. And then I start the new job on Monday. I’m excited, but a little nervous, too,” she admitted.
“Don’t be nervous. You’ll do great. I’m sure they will love you and I really think you’ll enjoy the work. I’ll let you go, so you can enjoy your bath before the water gets cold.”
“Thanks, Hannah. Talk to you soon.”
Sara added a swipe of dusty rose blush and two coats of black mascara, then stepped back and assessed her appearance in her bathroom mirror. She turned left and right to check the fit of the black dress she’d found at the back of her closet. The dress she’d bought several years ago and hadn’t worn once. It still had the tags on it. She added her favorite gold hoop earrings and ran a brush through her shoulder-length light brown hair. The dress was flattering and she hadn’t worn makeup in so long that she’d forgotten how it could make her feel. She looked refreshed, with her dark under-eye circles erased and a bit of color added to her otherwise pale skin. She was excited to finally have a night out with her husband—a date night—as the babysitter was due to arrive any moment.
The doorbell rang and she hollered downstairs, “Tom, can you let Emma in?”
Sara grabbed her small black clutch and made her way downstairs. The kids were watching television in the family room. She’d fed them earlier.
Tom was dressed and waiting by the kitchen door. It hadn’t taken him more than a few minutes to get ready. He’d just changed his shirt and was wearing a navy-blue button-down and a newish pair of jeans. He’d shaved, too, and the five o’clock shadow was gone. He always looked good in navy.
Emma was a neighbor’s daughter, a sophomore in high school, and she’d sat for them a few times before. She was a good student and responsible. Still, Sara made sure that Emma had both of their cell numbers and told her to be sure to call if she needed anything.
“If you’re hungry, help yourself to whatever you want. There’s snacks in the cabinet above the refrigerator and Popsicles in the freezer.”
“Thank you.”
“Tom, are you ready to go?” Sara was a little disappointed that he didn’t seem to notice she was wearing a new dress. Or that she looked nice.
He glanced her way and smiled. “I’m ready. Do you want to drive or should I?”
“You can drive,” she said shortly as she grabbed her coat from the closet.
Her mood improved as they drove to the restaurant. It was a new place, in Orleans, and she’d read a review recently that raved about the food. She’d been dying to try it, and since they so seldom went out these days, it was her first choice. Tom was easy that way; he didn’t really care where they went. Food was food to him. She had a feeling he wasn’t going to be happy about the prices, but it wasn’t like they couldn’t afford it—especially since they so rarely went out.
Sara was glad that she’d made a reservation as when they arrived the front bar area was crowded with people waiting for tables. When Sara gave them her name, though, they nodded and said their table was ready. They were led to a cozy table for two next to a cheerful gas fireplace.
They sat and the hostess handed each of them a menu and said their server would be over shortly. Sara glanced around the restaurant. It was on the water, but it was too dark now to see the view. During the daylight she guessed it would be stunning. The ceilings were high with dark wooden beams that gave the room a rustic, cozy look. The luxurious tablecloths were smooth to the touch and the silver was polished to a shine. Soft yellow candles glowed in the center of each table and the overall ambiance was one of comfort and elegance.
She opened the menu and the feeling continued. There was a wide selection from seafood to steaks and several vegetarian dishes. Quite a few had a comfort-food feel to them, such as lobster potpie, short ribs over blue cheese mashed potatoes, and seafood risotto. When their server came, she told them about a few specials and took their drink order.
“I’m going to have wine—should we get a bottle? Or did you want something else?” Sara asked.
“I’ll just have a draft beer.” Sara wasn’t surprised. Beer was Tom’s usual drink of choice but once in a while when they’d gone out, he’d had wine with her. She ordered a glass of cabernet and welcomed the time to decide as she was torn between several options.
“What are you going to have?” For some reason when she had a hard time deciding it helped to know what others were going to have.
“Sirloin strip steak. It’s the only thing that appealed to me on the menu. Hopefully it will be good.”
Tom wasn’t an adventurous eater. He rarely got anything other than steak.
When the server returned with their drinks, they put their orders in and Sara decided to go with the lobster potpie. “I’ll have a Caesar salad to start, too. Tom, you’ll share that with me? Or would you like something else?”
“I’ll have a few bites of your salad.”
Sara took a sip of her wine and looked around the room. There was a low hum of conversation. It wasn’t too loud like some places. The floor was covered in a thick carpet, which she guessed helped to muffle the sounds. People seemed to be enjoying themselves. She saw trays go by carrying meals that looked delicious.
“So, how was your day?” she asked Tom. They’d hardly had a chance to talk since he’d gotten home.
“Fine. Nothing unusual. What about you?”
She smiled. “It was nice, relaxing to have the house to myself. I stayed in a bubble bath reading a book until the water grew cold. I am really looking forward to starting work on Monday.”
Tom frowned. “How will that go, exactly? Will you still be able to help the boys with their after-school stuff?”
Sara leaned forward. It was disappointing that Tom didn’t share her excitement, even a little. His question was about the boys, but she knew he was really more concerned with how it would affect him and if he’d need to do more. “Yes. I made sure of it. I go in after they head to school and I’ll be home when they finish. I really need this, Tom.”
He looked skeptical. “Working a minimum-wage job at a retailer? Do you really think that will make you happy? Or make a difference with our finances?”
Sara took a sip of her wine and felt her good mood evaporate. Tom just didn’t understand why this was so important to her.
“It’s not about the money. Your job pays well and you love it, so we’re very lucky there. But I used to have a career that I loved, too. I put it off to raise our children, and I’m grateful that I was able to do that. But now I need more.”
Tom took a sip of his beer and stayed silent.
“Honestly, I don’t know if I will like the job. I won’t know until I try it. But I like the idea of it. I’ll be surrounded by books and talking to people about books and helping them to find books and recommending books that I love. Just thinking about it makes me happy. I’m ready for more than doing laundry and being a car service to our kids.”
“You’re more than that,” Tom protested.
She smiled. “Yes, I’m a lot more than that. And I think it will be good for all of us if I’m doing something that makes me happy, too. Not that taking care of our kids doesn’t make me happy. This will just add to that.”
Their server arrived and set down two Caesar salads. Sara was about to protest that they’d only ordered one when their server smiled. “Since you said you were going to share, the kitchen split it for you.”
“Oh, thank you.” After she walked away, Sara took a bite and it was delicious. It was an obviously homemade dressing, heavy on garlic with the richness of anchovy. “I love that they did that,” she said.
“Did what?” Tom said absentmindedly. His gaze was on his cell phone and a text message he’d just received.
“Split the salad for us. So few places do that and it’s a really nice touch. What do you think of the salad?” Tom had already eaten half, shoveling it in as he typed on his phone.
“It’s fine.”
“Who are you texting?” Sara felt her irritation rise. It was a pet peeve of hers when people focused on their phones instead of the people sitting across the dinner table. Especially when that person was her husband.
“Just Andi at work. She had a client with a question.”
Since Tom was the VP of product development, overseeing engineering and product management, he often fielded off-hour questions that came as the sales team worked on closing a big deal. His company was headquartered on the West Coast and that three hours’ difference meant he often worked after hours since it was still normal business hours for them. Tom’s phone pinged again and he smiled as he read the message.
Sara felt herself fuming. There were a few more back-and-forth texts until finally she spoke up.
“Are you done yet? Does Andi have everything she needs?”
Tom looked up, confused. “What do you mean?”
“This is supposed to be a date night for us. We almost never go out. I’m just asking if you are done texting for work. Can you put your phone away and try to enjoy having dinner with your wife?”
“Sure. I’m sorry.” Tom sent one final text and then slipped the phone into his pocket. It immediately chimed again with a new message.
“I’ll turn the ringer off.” Tom fished the phone out and glanced at the text, hit one button, which Sara guessed was a thumbs-up or similar. He turned the ringer off and put it back in his pocket. “You still have yours on in case Emma calls?”
She nodded. “Of course.” She finished her salad and took another sip of her wine, which was almost gone. Tom hadn’t said another word. He sat silently sipping his beer.
They used to have so much to talk about. Now sitting in a nice restaurant, she felt herself struggling to make conversation.
“Do you like my dress? This is the first time I’ve worn it.”
He glanced at her outfit and nodded. “It’s nice. Did you just buy it?”
“No, I just hadn’t worn it yet.” She smiled. “We need to do this more often, get out, just the two of us.”
“It’s hard with the kids. Maybe Emma will be available more often. I’d like to get out more, too,” Tom said.
Their meals arrived a few minutes later and they focused on their food. The lobster potpie was even better than she’d expected. It had big chunks of lobster and a creamy sauce with a flaky puff-pastry topping. Tom seemed happy with his steak.
They talked about the kids over dinner. How they were doing with their various sports. And the weather.
“Supposed to be nice all weekend,” Tom said. “I thought I’d get a round of golf in with the guys.”
“I invited Hannah over for dinner tomorrow again. I thought we could grill up some burgers and maybe even eat outside on the back deck.”
“How is she doing?” Tom asked and that made Sara feel more warmly toward him. He could be thoughtful at times.
“She’s doing better, I think. She’s been going to the coffee shop downtown most afternoons and it seems to help her get some writing done. I ran into her before the interview.”
By the time they finished and their server had cleared their plates, Tom was yawning and Sara fought the urge to join him. She was full and content and ready to head home. Neither one of them wanted dessert and after they paid the bill, Tom drove home.
When they arrived home, Emma and the two older boys were watching a movie. The younger two were in bed. The house was quiet. Sara paid Emma and thanked her.
“What does your availability look like for the next month or so if we wanted to use you again?”
“I’m pretty flexible, just let me know and we can work something out.”
Tom yawned again as Emma closed the door behind her. “I’m beat. I’m going to head to bed.” He leaned over and kissed Sara lightly before heading upstairs.
Sara sighed. Her earlier hopes for a romantic ending to the evening had vanished hours ago as Tom quizzed her about her job and seemed more interested in his cell phone than talking to her. But it hadn’t been entirely awful. They were just out of practice. Maybe if they were able to have date nights more often, things could improve all around for them. She hoped so.
“Where’s Tom?” Hannah asked. She’d just arrived at Sara’s house and they were sitting on the back deck drinking chardonnay and keeping an eye on the grill that Sara had just covered with marinated steak tips.
“He’s golfing with his buddies. I don’t expect him back until later.” Sara took a sip of her wine and made a face. “I sort of hate him at the moment.”
“What’s wrong? Did you guys have a fight?”
Sara sighed. “Of course I don’t really hate him. But he can be so frustrating sometimes. We went to dinner last night. We finally had a night out and he was more interested in texting a woman he works with. He didn’t even notice that I was wearing a new dress. And it looked good!”
“I’m sorry. Guys can be pretty unobservant. I’m sure you looked great.”
“You’re right. It was just annoying.”
Sara seemed in a bit of a mood, which was out of character for her. And she was quiet, sipping her wine and gazing off into space. Distracted.
They sat in silence for a moment, while Hannah sipped her wine, too, and wondered what was bothering her sister. Finally she asked, “You’re not worried about the woman he was texting? I can’t imagine you have anything to worry about there. Do you?” Tom didn’t seem the type to cheat. Hannah supposed you never really knew, though.
Sara shook her head and smiled sadly. “No. It’s just the time difference. What annoyed me the most was he just doesn’t understand why I’m looking forward to starting this job at the bookshop. It’s not about the money.”
Hannah sympathized. Her life was so different from her sister’s. She couldn’t imagine being home all day and running around with four children. Just the thought of it made her tired. She’d always thought she’d have children someday, just not anytime soon. And not four of them. But her sister had always seemed happy, for the most part.
“I get it. You want to be doing something you enjoy. We all want that. Tom has it.”
“You’re right. He does. Maybe he’ll understand once I start. It would be awful if he was right.”
Hannah laughed. “I can’t imagine you won’t like the job. It seems perfect for you.”
“How is everything going for you? Was it helpful going into the law office? I know you were a little nervous about doing that.”
“I just felt bad that Joy didn’t give Spencer much of a choice. It has been really helpful though. I’ve made a ton of notes.”
“That’s good. Friday was your last day?”
“No, I’m actually doing another week. This time I’m going to be shadowing Natalie, Spencer’s coworker. We’ve become friends.”
“Interesting. Spencer doesn’t mind?”
“I worried about that, too. But he seemed fine with it.”
Sara got up and flipped the steak tips. When they were done, she put them on a big platter and brought them into the kitchen. She set out two big containers of store-bought potato salad and coleslaw and hollered for the boys to come fix themselves plates. Once the kids were all set, Sara and Hannah helped themselves and took their food out to the deck. It was a beautiful night and it was nice to eat outside. Sara invited the boys to join them but they had no interest and ate in the living room watching TV.
“What time are you picking up Aunt Maddie tonight?” Sara asked.
“Her flight comes in at ten. I wonder how her week went—if she and Uncle Richie are working things out. Do you have any idea why they separated?”
Sara shook her head. “No. I didn’t even know they were having any issues. She hasn’t said a thing to me. I hope it’s fixable, whatever it is.”
“I hope so, too. I always thought they seemed so solid.”
“How are you feeling? Have you had any more panic attacks since you came here?” Sara asked.
Hannah took a sip of her wine and looked around the yard. A soft breeze made the leaves on the trees sway and the sky looked almost pink as the dark orange sun began to set. The air smelled clean and fresh and she felt more relaxed each day.
“I’m feeling better. I haven’t had any panic attacks since I left Brooklyn. The stress is starting to ease up a bit now that the writing is getting better. It’s still like pulling teeth sometimes. I’ve had more than one afternoon where the words are still a struggle, but it’s better than it was and I feel like I’m moving forward.”
“That’s good. I thought it might help to be here for the summer. It’s been so long since you’ve been here for more than a week or so. Have you been by Mom’s house at all?”
Hannah’s mood shifted at the mention of their mother and a wave of sadness washed over her, taking her by surprise with its intensity. She sighed. It felt like this heavy sadness would always be with her when she thought of her mother. She supposed it would be easier if they weren’t so close. She just still missed talking to her.
“I drove by once—a week ago on my way back from dropping Aunt Maddie at the airport. It was strange to see her house, just sitting there, like it was waiting for her to come home.”
“I know. I’m still not used to it. I stop by every few weeks, and check on the house and to see if there’s any mail we missed canceling. It might be good for you to go there, maybe? I could let you know the next time I swing by and you could come with me, if you want.”
A sense of dread swept over Hannah. “I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. Maybe later this summer. I know I need to go there eventually.”
“It might help you to get closure. I get it though. It’s still hard for me, too. Eventually, we will have to decide what to do about the house. If we want to sell.”
Hannah knew they couldn’t put it off indefinitely. But she just wasn’t ready to deal with anything yet when it came to her mother’s house.
“We have time still. We agreed that we wouldn’t do anything for at least a year.”
Sara nodded. “I know. I only mentioned that we need to think about it. A year will be here before we know it.”
Hannah sighed. “You’re right. Do you think you will want to sell it? I don’t really know what our options are.”
“Well, we could sell it or keep it. We could rent it out. You could live there if you wanted to buy me out. Or we could just share it and both use it. Like you said, we don’t have to figure that out yet. There’s still time.”
“I don’t know that I could ever live there. It might be too sad being in Mom’s house, the house we grew up in, without her.”
Sara nodded. “I can see that. But maybe it would be comforting, too. It might feel like she’s still there in some way. I don’t really know how I feel about it either, to be honest.”
Hannah got up and returned with the wine bottle, topping off both of their glasses before settling back into her seat. As sad as it was talking about their mother, she was glad that she had Sara to talk to and that she understood completely. Though she and Sara talked often when Hannah was in Brooklyn, it wasn’t the same as spending real time together. She would miss this when the summer ended and she went back to the city.