Chapter 14
Maddie and Richie decided to go to one of their favorite local restaurants, which was a short walk from the apartment. Maddie met him at the restaurant as it was on her walk home. They agreed to meet just before six. It was a small place and neither of them wanted to stand around waiting.
Richie was already seated at a table when Maddie walked in. Mario, the host, smiled from ear to ear when he saw her.
“It’s so good to see you again. Your husband just arrived. Follow me.” This was one of the things they loved about this restaurant. Even at the beginning, before they became regulars, Mario greeted them the same way, as if they were his favorite customers. She knew he did it with everyone, but she still appreciated it. Mario led her to the table and pulled out her chair.
“Thank you, Mario. I hope Evelyn is well?” Mario spoke of his wife often and Maddie knew they lived nearby.
He smiled again. “Very well, thank you for asking. We just became grandparents again last month—grandchild number six!”
“That’s wonderful, congratulations.”
Richie sat silently, watching the exchange. He didn’t speak until Mario mentioned the new grandchild and then he offered his congratulations, too. After he walked away, there was a long, awkward silence. Exactly the kind that Maddie had feared. Richie was the one who broke it.
“So, here we are. How was your day?”
Before she could answer, their server approached the table and asked if they’d like to order drinks.
“Want to split our usual bottle?” Richie asked.
Maddie nodded. They’d found a red they liked, an Italian blend that was inexpensive and delicious. They ordered it almost every time.
The waiter brought the wine right out, and poured a taste for Richie to try. He approved it and they put in the rest of their order. Eggplant Parmesan for Maddie and veal marsala for Richie. Their usual selections. While they waited for their food, they sipped the wine and made small talk. Maddie talked about her author’s auction.
“All but one came back with a better offer.”
“Are they close?”
“One is a little ahead of the others and it’s also her favorite after the Zoom calls. She said she clicked with that editor the most. She’s going to sleep on it and call me in the morning with her decision.”
Richie lifted his glass. “Congratulations.”
“Thank you. How was your day?”
“Busy. And interesting. There’s a new company we may invest in. They have a technology that we think could be a game-changer, totally disruptive.” He told her all about it, a new social network that was only available on their unique smartphone.
“They are positioning it as invite-only initially. Which creates insane demand.”
“That sounds intriguing. But a little risky, too. Will people give up their current phones just to join a new social network?”
“If enough of them do, that’s all that matters. We think it has the potential to be the next iPhone.”
Maddie smiled. “Well, that is exciting then.”
They kept the conversation light until halfway through dinner when there was another awkward silence and once again Richie spoke first.
“Maddie, what are we doing? What do you want to do about us?” He held her gaze and she saw both her husband whom she’d adored for years and a stranger. They hadn’t slept together in almost a year. She’d never felt so distant from him.
“I don’t know.” She turned the question back on him. “What do you want to do?”
He sighed. “I love you, Maddie. I think I’ll always love you. But I don’t love how things are with us. I feel like I’ve lost you.”
“I’m still here. But I agree. Everything feels different. I think we’ve grown apart, some. Our priorities have changed.”
He nodded. “We’ve both been so focused on work. I thought at this point my workload would slow, but it’s only gotten more intense. And I’ve lost myself in it.”
“Is it too much for you?” This was the first time Richie had admitted to being overloaded with work.
He smiled though. “No. I love it. It challenges me and it’s always something new. But being here this past month has had its pros and cons. It’s been great to be in the office with everyone. But I’ve been working even longer hours because the apartment feels so empty without you. I’ve missed you.” He picked up his wineglass and took a sip, keeping his eyes on hers. “Have you missed me, too?”
She answered quickly. “Of course. It was strange trying to get used to an empty house. But it’s getting easier. I haven’t totally minded having the place to myself. It’s been a nice break in a way after this year, and losing Melanie.”
Richie’s eyes clouded and he stared off into the distance. He stabbed his veal with his knife and tore a ragged piece off and swallowed it. He said nothing and continued to attack the remains of his meal, until it was gone.
“So, are you saying that you want this separation to be permanent?” he asked.
“I’m not saying that. I honestly don’t know what I want. I think it’s too soon for us to make a decision that final. I feel like I need more time.”
“Time apart, you mean? Separated.” His voice was flat, emotionless, but she saw a muscle twitch in his jaw. Part of her wished that he’d fight more for them, insist that they try harder. But that wasn’t his way.
“I think so. I have Hannah staying with me for the summer. Maybe we take that time, too, and reevaluate in a few months? I don’t need to be back here again until mid-August. Does that work for you?”
“Sure. I suppose it has to, right?” He smiled sadly and finely etched laugh lines danced around his eyes and the corners of his mouth. She loved those lines. Her heart hurt and she wondered if she was making a horrible mistake by insisting on keeping their separation going. But it didn’t feel right to do anything else. Not yet.
“Want to split a piece of tiramisu?” she suggested.
“I’m not hungry. Get it, though. I’ll have a Grand Marnier.”
After they finished eating, Richie did have a few bites of the dessert—she knew he probably would. They walked back to the apartment and retreated to their bedrooms. Maddie felt a heavy sadness mixed with confusion. She hoped she’d made the right decision by asking for more time.