Chapter 10 New Year’s Eve 2031
New Years Day by Taylor Swift I just want to see him. Long distance relationships are one thing, but raising a baby while missing the love of my life is for the birds.
I miss him and I want him.
I glance at the open door and tuck hair behind my ear, not dragging my lip to my mouth like I would’ve before. It’s incredible how much you start healing when you quit a soul sucking job, even if, once upon a time, it filled your soul.
No more lip biting, nail scratching, random ass pacing in the middle of the day.
Quitting and therapy.
Boundaries and replaced behaviors.
I’ve never felt better—until now.
Until my eyes light up meeting his brown ones, framed by sexy glasses, full of life and never leaving mine.
Until his smile reaches the corner of his eyes, and little lines of a life well lived come to the surface.
Because with Asher standing at my door with two giant bags, his mustache, beard, and hair sprinkled with grays that make him look even better, I’m so happy, I don’t even know what to do with myself.
“Hales,” he whispers with such joy behind his words, it reaches my toes. I forget words and rhyme and reason. I forget time. I forget it all.
“See, I told you Daddy was coming.” I close the space between us, giving him a quick peck on his lips. “Hi.”
He smiles wider, pulling us tight to his body. “Let me bring the bags in and wash my hands so I can pick him up, yeah?”
I follow him inside, waiting for him to do just that, while I bounce Cash in my arms.
“Come here, little one. I’ve missed you.”
He takes Cash, brushing his fingers over my skin and leaving the trace of cardamom behind.
I’ve known Asher for six years now, and I’m still not over the fact that he smells like coffee on an early morning or spicy tea before reading your favorite book.
Maybe it was his scent that made me fall in love this hard for him, or maybe the way he talks to me, or how he doesn’t trust his heart to anyone, but he trusted it to me.
And definitely the glasses. They do it for me, every time.
He sits in the corner of the living room and pats the spot next to him.
Another New Year’s Eve next to him, maybe the last one we’ll be apart.
I transitioned out of the hospital and have been working selling soaps, lotions, and candles locally.
I can do that from Alaska, right? At least, that’s what I tell myself.
I can’t do this long distance thing anymore, even if I’ll miss everyone here with all my heart. I guess I’m destined to miss someone at all times—him if I’m here, and them if I’m there—but I refuse to ask him to give up his true love, rescuing, just to move here with me.
“I have a question for you,” Asher says, not lifting his gaze from his son.
I sit across from him and cross my legs, waiting for whatever it is he wants to tell me. “I might have an answer.”
“You know how every year on my birthday, you’ve never asked me about what I want as a gift, but you always have something for me?”
Well, that’s because in the second year we were together, he told me he has never gotten a gift just for him or that he never asked for.
He said he had never been surprised by anything, and how sad is that?
So, every year, I’ve made it my mission to give him something that reminds me of him, even if small, but a surprise, nonetheless.
I nod, brushing my bangs off my face. “I’m sorry. I thought you liked those.”
His smile widens. “What have we said about apologizing?” I roll my eyes in exasperation. “Stop being a brat and tell me.”
“We don’t apologize for existing.” I swear, he and my therapist are conspiring against me. Or in favor of me, I guess.
His gaze flickers between our son and me. “I love that you do that. It makes me feel special because you took time out of your busy day to get something for me, but this year, I want to ask for something specific.”
My fingers gently trace the seam of the chair. “It might be hard to find on short notice, but I can definitely try. What is it?”
“I want to be your husband.”
The words rattle me like windows in a storm. “What?”
His laughter breaks through the emotional rollercoaster in my brain. “Look who’s sticking to the monosyllabic words now.”
I laugh at that. It’s incredible how his words and his presence can make me feel at ease, and judging by how calm Cash is, I think he feels it too. Asher is so good for our nervous systems. But wait—back to the question at hand.
“You said you wanted something specific for your birthday.”
He nods.
“But then you said—”
“That I want to be your husband.” He interrupts.
My breath catches in my throat. “You can’t just come in here and tell me you want to be my husband.”
He shrugs. “I mean I could ask you to be my wife if you’d prefer, but I really want you to know how much I’m already yours, how much I crave to be your husband. It’s beyond a want. It’s a need.”
He smiles, and I sink.
I melt. I disappear.
“If you want me back, I would love to make that happen.” He winks. “It can be the best birthday gift anyone has ever given me . . . which is pretty big, considering you’ve given me some really good ones.”
“I don’t know what to say,” I mutter.
He’s so calm. So quiet. So still. So unnervingly at peace.
“You could say, "Yes, Asher, I would love for you to be my husband" or "no, I don't want to." Clearly, only one is the right answer, but if your answer is the second one . . . I’ll just have to try to convince you this whole lifetime.”
He kisses Cash’s forehead. “And the next.”
Asher stands, placing our baby boy in the bassinet next to the worn couch I’ve had since I was in college. He walks toward me and looks down so his chestnut eyes meet mine.
“I was just kidding, by the way.” He pulls a ring from his pocket and gets on one knee, his smile radiating so much joy.
“Of course I was going to ask. Hailey Fox, you already make me the happiest man in the world. You have shown me so much about life, love, and myself with your selflessness—and selfishly, I just want you all to myself. Forever.” He smiles, and a tear breaks free from his eye, tracing his cheek and landing in his mustache.
“I would be so honored to call you my wife.”
I throw myself at him, hugging tightly around his neck.
“Is that a yes, Hales?”
I hold him tighter. “That’s a hell yes.” I put some distance between us so he can see the happiness in my eyes, beyond what I can convey with my words.
I want him to see the tears of joy trickling down my face, how much I’m shaking.
I want him to see my love for him in every gold speckle in my eyes.
I want him to know how there is no doubt in my mind it’s his arms I’m meant to be in.
He slides the beautiful ring on, and then it hits me. “So I’m moving to Alaska?”
He shakes his head, surprising me. “Oh, I didn’t tell you? I’m not going back.”
“What?”
Our joint laughter bounces in the space, startling Cash and making me smile.
“I got him.” Asher drops my hand, shaking his head, and speedwalks to our son as I admire the pretty pink diamond on my finger.
He holds our boy in his arms, sliding a paci into his mouth and coming back to me. He’s bouncing, calming him as if it’s the most natural thing in the world, as if being a dad is the easiest thing for him.
“I have a job here, in Baker.” He kisses the baby’s forehead before holding my hand in his. “Working for Florida Rescue.”
“But being a rescue swimmer was your dream.”
He shakes his head, his eyes full of glee. “You were my dream all along. I just needed to find you. I’m ready to be the present father and partner I’ve always wanted to be. I’m ready to take care of you.”
“I don’t need you to.”
“I want to. For once in my life, I’m happy.”
He looks at our son, smiling softly before continuing. “For once in my life, I feel like I know my purpose.”
Cash stirs in his arms, and I grab him—it’s boob time. I latch him quickly, looking back at Asher, who starts to lead me back to the couch. “You two are my purpose, and I can’t wait for our new life together.”
He sits next to me, placing his feet on the table and draping mine over his legs. With his arm around me and our son safe on my chest, I know this is exactly where I belong too. “Thank you.”
“For what?” he asks against my hair.
“For loving me even when I’m not perfect.”
I can feel his smile against my head. “Oh, baby, you’re pretty perfect to me. I should be the one thanking you for showing me what love truly is. Thank you for showing me this was the reason.”
I wait for him to continue.
“I waited all my life for this season, and even though it has been long awaited, it was definitely worth it.” He smiles, and I suddenly forget everything but him. “And I’d do it again if this is the outcome.”