31. Harmony
CHAPTER 31
Harmony
G ibson’s gotten so much better at commanding an audience. Not that he wasn’t good before, but his charisma clearly comes through onstage more than ever. He’s got the moves too.
“I want to thank you so much for coming out to The SeaSong tonight,” he says into the mic while scanning the audience. He pushes his sweaty bangs out of his eyes. “This is my cousin Harmony’s place. Can we get a round for The SeaSong and her?” The crowd goes wild, and I blush and get simultaneous back pats from Mav and Uncle Cal who are on either side of me.
“Speaking of my cousin, we grew up singing together. Harmony, get your ass up here and sing with me!” The crowd cheers again. I’m not really dressed like I belong onstage. I haven’t had a chance to practice with the band like we originally planned. My stomach gives a little flip flop, but I don’t have time to think about those things now.
Jax appears in front of me and offers me his arm. “I’ll get you up there safely.” He’s always been there, making sure all of us are intact. He’s like a gentle giant. The crowd parts, and I step on to the slightly raised stage.
Gibson throws an arm around me. “Hey, Mon. Fancy seeing you here. You ready?”
“I want to do three songs,” I whisper-shout into his ear.
His grin grows wider as I tell him which ones. We walk to the drum riser and share the impromptu change with the rest of the guys, who take them all in stride.
Gibs and I start out with a rousing rendition of one of Mom’s favorite songs, “Barracuda,” originally played by Heart. It’s been so long since I’ve been onstage, but it all comes back to me quickly. My body and voice—they naturally remember what to do onstage. We move into “Edge of a Broken Heart” by Vixen and finish with Limp Bizkit’s “Eat You Alive.” Both songs showcase our combined vocal ability.
Plus, they send a message, I think. I may be down right now, but in the spirit of tonight, I am not out. Not yet. This is what my dad wanted to make sure I saw before I left—The SeaSong as I always imagined her.
The energy from the crowd paired with the band’s confidence boosts me up, making the time fly by. The three songs are over before I’m ready. I click my microphone into the stand where Garret usually is, and I lock eyes with my dad. His eyes scan me, settling on my rounded bump and the emotion in his dark blue eyes, before snapping back up to mine— oh shit . The intensity and emotion nearly knocks me over even though I’m on the stage and he’s way over by the cash register.
I didn’t think about what I was wearing. Knowing that Gibson knew I was pregnant, I didn’t dress to hide it for our dinner out. If I had known about this, I would have made it less obvious. Dad didn’t deserve to find out this way.
“Give it up for my cuz, Harmony!” Gibson grabs my arm and holds it up in the air as if I’m a prize fighter. He leans in and whispers, “They love you! You kicked ass, Mon.”
He gives me a quick squeeze before I walk to the side of the stage and descend the couple of stairs back down to the main café. My hands shake from the rush being onstage but also from the nerves about approaching my father who just figured out I’m pregnant. I have to go to him.
My dad leans against the wall near the door to the kitchen. His arms are crossed over his black leather jacket, his expression unreadable. I can’t tell if he’s more angry or sad. Perhaps disappointed? His stance doesn’t seem angry. I’ve seen him angry, and his jaw gets tight. But I haven’t seen him disappointed, especially not in me. Maybe that’s what this look is.
Callum and Mav hug me and tell me how good I was, but I’m still concerned about my dad and keep glancing toward him. Each time I do, he’s watching, waiting for me. He slips into the kitchen when Sammy gives me a hug. “That kicked ass, Harm! You always could belt out a tune like nobody’s business.”
“Thanks, Sammy.” He starts to say something else, but I stop him. “I gotta go see Dad for a minute.” I let him go and slip into the kitchen through the door. My dad stands along the far wall next to the walk-in fridge.
“Daddy?” My voice is small and choked, like the scared little girl I was when he brought me home from Montana. He said I talked steadily the whole trip, but it was because he didn’t talk at all. He’s admitted how out of his element he was then, but he figured out the whole being a dad thing quickly. He had two great role models—his twin and Mavrick.
“Oh, Harmony.” His voice is thick with emotion, but I can’t pick out the disappointment I expect. “You’re pregnant?” His eyes lock onto the obvious roundness of my belly.
“I’m so?—”
He stops me before I can finish. “Don’t apologize, sweet girl.” He holds his arms out, and I head right into my dad’s hug. Not the sideway hugs he’s been giving me since his arrival in Port Haven but a full-on embrace. He hugs me tight and kisses the top of my head. It’s the hug I’ve been needing since I found out about the nugget, and this time, I can fully lean into it since I’m not hiding it from him.
“I wish you’d have told me sooner but don’t apologize. Not for this.” I’m enveloped by the smell of Dad’s leather jacket and his soap and am instantly comforted. I’m finally home.
“This explains some things,” he says into my head. He lets me linger in his hug until I’m ready to pull away. Which I do, willing the quiver in my chin to stop. It listens, mostly. “My baby girl is having a baby,” he says, almost reverently.
“Everything’s good with you and the baby? After the run-in with that asshole Officer Handler?” His tongue moves with the name like it tastes bitter. It doesn’t surprise me that he knows the officer’s name. He probably knows a lot more about him. Jax, our head of security, is known for finding out that kind of information.My dad’s brow wrinkles, and his jaw locks. Now, he’s angry, but at the cop, not at me.
“We’re both fine,” I reassure him, squeezing his arm through his jacket. “But, what do you mean by ‘this explains some things’?”
“Well, to start, it explains why Gibson and Garret beat the fuck out of Rob in their practice space. Rob called the police and pressed charges. Cal had to bail the knuckleheads out and James is working his magic with the district attorney back home.” Shit—Gibson didn’t mention that. I told him not to do anything stupid.
“It also explains his sudden interest in pregnancy,” Dad says. “Cal was sure he’d gotten someone pregnant with all the questions he’s been asking. Your uncle was stressed the hell out from that one.” My dad chuckles at his twin. “But you’re really okay?” His lips form a pursed line until I nod. Then he asks the one question I don’t really care to answer. “What did Rob say about all this? Is he moving up here to help?”
I look down at the holes in the knees of my dad’s favorite black jeans and shake my head.
“Harm, what did Rob say about the baby? You have told him, right?”
I nod but I can’t look at my dad. Even though I know it’s wrong to feel this way, I still feel like it’s my fault for not being good enough for him to want to stay.
“Harm?” My dad presses.
I don’t want to tell him. I don’t want my dad mad at me, disappointed in me. But I also don’t need him getting so pissed at Rob that he stalks out of here and drives straight home to take it out on him like Gibson did.
“He sent me money and told me to take care of it.” Even I hear the quiver in my voice. “We aren’t good enough for him.”
“No. He’s not good enough for you.” Toby’s voice surprises my dad and me. We didn’t hear him open the door. Why would Toby care about my ex? Or me and nugget, for that matter?
“Book Asshole.” Dad’s snarl is a warning as he steps around me to stand before Toby, protecting me and the baby already. My dad may not like conflict but when it comes to protecting his own, he doesn’t back down.
“Dad, stop. His name is Toby.” The more I think about it, he’s probably here about the realtor papers to The SeaSong.
“No, it’s Book Asshole,” my dad grits out again, his hands fisting at his sides. Okay… That’s not a good sign.
The door behind them opens again, this time my mom comes through it.
“Killian, Toby and Harmony need to talk.” My mom steps between them and reaches her hand out to my dad, resting it on his arm. But Dad’s jaw continues to flicker with tension. He’s still not happy with Toby and it shows.
My mom’s touch is a magic elixir to my dad. He’s immediately distracted by her presence.
“Come dance with me, babe.” She reaches for his hand, her fingers wiggling in anticipation and silently begging for him to return the gesture.
He reluctantly accepts Mom’s invitation but keeps his eyes locked on Toby’s as he passes by him. “If she so much as sheds one tear because of you, I will rain hell’s fire down on you like you have never seen. Then, my brother will. Then, her uncle will. Then?—”
“He gets the point, babe. Hellfire, rain, massive family. Let’s go.” She drags my dad out of the kitchen, turning back to throw me a wink.
“I don’t have the papers with me.” I refer to the new contract of sale I had James draw up with my parents benefiting from the larger sale figure. It would make me almost clear of all they put into it.
“This whole thing was a surprise. I thought Gibson and I were just going to dinner. I’m sorry for all the noise.” I grab a water from the stack of flats in the corner next to the sodas and down about half of it while Toby just stares at me.
“My lawyer and I worked up a counteroffer, but I don’t have it with me. Honestly, though, I’m having second thoughts after all this tonight.” Maybe I’m not quite ready to give up on my dream yet.
“My offer is off the table,” is his response.
“Off the table?” It’s news to me, and although part of me loves that he’s actually here and talking to me about it instead of using the lawyers, another part of me is wary of what he might be peddling now.
His stance relaxes. “How are you feeling? You haven’t been at the café since that night. I thought you’d be back to working by now?” He watches me. “Is everything okay? You know, with both you and the baby?”
He eyes my small pooch then looks back up at me almost shyly. Something I’d never expect Toby to be. I expected words about the baby’s questionable parentage and my actions that night. Anything but the shy, almost awed, expression on his face right now.
“We’re okay. My doctor suggested I rest for two weeks.” He says nothing.
“Have you heard if they’re charging you? I’m sorry for yelling at you at the beach. I was just worried about my mom. I didn’t ask the police to arrest you or anything.” His eyes widen in possible panic and part of me wants to lie to see what he’d do.
“I’ll testify for you against the cop if you need me to. I saw and heard everything. I heard you tell him you were pregnant and saw you bend to try to protect your stomach.” Well, that’s something, at least.
“Thanks.” I’m not sure how he expects me to respond. I’m still hesitant. Not sure I understand what he wants from me. I’ve been stung by this man before, so it’s hard letting him back in so easily.
He seems like he’s not getting the reaction from me that he wants. Did he think I would jump for joy at his words? This is the man that slept with me and then ghosted me. And when I called him on it, he said nasty things. Just consider me once bitten, twice shy, and all that.
“I know you weren’t trying to hurt my mom,” he continues. “You were doing what you could to help her.” He kicks at nothing in particular then heaves a heavy breath out. “I really messed everything up between us.”
Does he really think saying that will make it all better?
“That morning at the bookstore...the way that you acted. You purposely threw away what we had. You didn’t care. And I couldn’t figure out why I wasn’t enough.”
He cringes at my words.
“I didn’t understand why what we had didn’t mean anything to you, why I wasn’t enough. You said things to hurt me. Well, congratulations, Toby. You did.”
“That wasn’t my intention…” He steps forward but I back up, moving closer to the door to the café.
“No? You got what you wanted and threw me aside just like Rob, the baby’s father, did. Just like my birth mom, too.” The door to my back opens, and I turn to see my cousin, red in the face, bolt in.
“You fucking did that to my cousin!” Gibson has Toby by the collar pressed against the refrigeration unit in the kitchen, his arm barred across his neck before I can blink.
“Gibson, he’s not worth the trouble. Leave him be. Let’s just go.” I start for them but think better of it because I’m pregnant. I don’t want to get in the middle of a physical altercation.
“He’s not worth it, for sure, but you fucking are, Harmony.” Gibson turns to look at me while still holding Toby in place.
Sensing an opportunity, Toby pushes Gibson, trying to get away. Gibs grabs him around the middle as they ricochet around my kitchen, flour and sugar flying everywhere.
“Dude!” Garrett, Muted Anarchy’s bassist, tries to grab Gibson after he barges into the kitchen at the sound of commotion. He slips in flour and ends up tripping Gibson and Toby, the three of them wrestling on the floor like three Pillsbury Doughboys playing Flour Twister. Fender comes in next and jumps into the melee as well.
“What the fuck is going on back,” Killian takes in the sight before him, “here?” His eyebrows shoot up just like his voice, and his jaw grits. “Did Book Asshole make you cry?”
“Everybody…STOP!”
We freeze and turn to see Mom and Aunt Ari in the doorway. Even the doughboys on the floor eventually come to a resting point.
“Did you apologize to our daughter?” my mom asks, looking at Toby.
“I was trying to…”
“Gibson, Fender…out. Now. You too, Garrett.” She points to the door to the parking area in the rear. My flour-covered jackass cousins and brother file out into the night where their tour bus is parked.
“You.” Mom points at me. “Quit being so stubborn and listen to this man.”
“You.” She points at Toby next, who’s still on the floor glued to his spot. “Tell my daughter you love her and you made a mistake already.”
“And you!” She points at my dad. “Take me to the inn. Now!” Her demeanor is different with my dad. Now she’s back to being playful.
She waggles her eyebrows at my dad. He makes eye contact with me, making sure I’m okay. I give him a slight nod, and he lets my mom drag him out the front, rolling his eyes the whole way. But he loves it. He loves Mom so much she’s tattooed on his heart. Literally.
Flour covers Toby from head-to-toe, so much that he blends into the messy floor. I can’t help the giggle that comes from me. He looks like a cartoon character.
“I must look ridiculous.”
My giggle turns into a boisterous laugh as he tries to get up, slipping around like a fawn on an icy pond. Once he finally gets his footing, he stands.
“Your mom is right.” He comes over and stops in front of me. “I do love you. I’ve made some huge mistakes. I am sorry. Really, really, sorry.” He swallows, his powder-covered Adam’s apple moving up and down.
Do I like Toby? Yes.
Probably even love.
But I’m not ready to forgive him quite yet.
“Please don’t leave Port Haven,” he blurts suddenly. “Stay.”
Again, I say nothing and he continues. “Port Haven needs you, Harmony. We’re all better because of you. You’ve breathed new life into this town. Into me.” Stay strong, Harm. Do not cave.
“Please?” He’s practically begging, a very unTobylike thing.
It’s my turn to release the heavy breath I’m holding. He’s making it really hard. I was already seriously considering staying after seeing Port Haven’s reaction to the show that Gibson and the Blind Rebels just put on for them.
“Besides, I think we’ll make a good team,” he throws in.
“We will?” I’m not sure what team he’s talking about since I haven’t given him any solid indication that I think we should get back together.
“I’m positive we will. I drew up this plan to prove it.” He pulls a piece of paper from his pocket and shakes it so the flour falls off.
He hands me a drawing of the inside of Kelleher’s Booksellers. There’s a door that passes directly from his bookstore into my café. “Let’s show Port Haven what change can do. Together. What cooperation and partnership can do. We’ll be even better than the big box bookstore in Redding. I’ll be the face behind the books, and you’ll represent the café. Two different things made better together. And we’ll be better together, too. We will.”
He leans in and kisses me, tentatively at first but I lean into it, into him, even though I shouldn’t. Not yet. But all the emotions that were there that night we made love come rushing back.
“I need to confess something to you,” he says looking directly into my eyes. “I’ve been attracted to you since I came into the coffee shop the first time.”
I’m surprised because he was so angry then.
“Really?”
He nods. “Yeah. I kept talking myself out of trying for anything with you, though.”
I’m finding it hard to believe. “Why would you do that?”
“Why?” He barks off a short laugh. “It started with the difference in our ages. People talk in small towns like Port Haven, you know that. You’ve seen it firsthand. I didn’t want to subject you to that kind of rumor and supposition.”
I can’t help the satisfied sigh that escapes me. That answer… That answer is everything. But then he continues.
“But also because I don’t want you or anyone else to end up having to take care of me the way I have to take care of my mom. No one deserves to be forgotten by the one who’s supposed to love them most.” His truth pulls down the corners of his mouth as his shoulders slump.
“You have no way of knowing what your future holds, Toby. None of us do. The important thing is to find that person, that heart connection. The person you want to navigate life beside.” I grab his hand and squeeze it. “Because that’s the one that you trust to take care of you if you can’t take care of yourself.” It’s a somber, heavy thought, and I give his hand another squeeze.
“For the right person, that’s not a burden. It’s an honor,” I whisper.
His light brown eyes are shiny as he looks at me and in me. I hope that he sees that I mean it. If he ends up with the same affliction as his mom, I would take care of him just like I hope he’d take care of me.
“You don’t think you’d end up resenting me?” His vulnerable words tug on my heart and still it at the same time. They’re laced with an ungodly amount of hope.
“No way.” I know with my entire being that it’s true. I’d never resent him for something he couldn’t help or control.
After the show, Toby sticks around and the whole Blind Rebels family works to get The SeaSong back into its regular configuration. The amps and drum kit are broken down and rolled out to the alley and put away in the tour bus. Tables and chairs are brought back in after the floor is mopped by Sammy.
The blue lights stay, though. I love the vibe they add to the café.
Gibs and the Muted Anarchy guys hug me before they roll out in the old Blind Rebels tour bus they’ve taken over. Having to get back to Southern California for their Orange County shows, I know they would have stayed longer if they could have. I hope they come back soon, whether it’s to play or not.
“Come on…” Toby holds out a hand to me as we exit The SeaSong. It’s late but while I’m tired, I’m also riding the high of the successful show and the fact that Toby’s here and we’re actually talking.
We start down the boarded walk toward the ocean, close to the spot where I took Claire. It’s also where I was arrested for the first, and hopefully last, time of my life.
He picks up my hand and guides me across the street to the ocean view that I love. We take off our shoes and make our way to the shoreline, the cold water tickling the bottom of our feet as we stand there in the glow of the moon.
“I’ve always been the most at home at the shore,” he says quietly.
“Me too.” I squeeze his hand. “Thanks to my dad.”
“He doesn’t like me much,” he states quietly. He’s probably right. At least right now. But he doesn’t know my dad like I do.
“He’s protective, yes. But he’ll loosen up around you, I promise. He truly only wants me to be happy. If you’re what makes me happy, he’ll back off. Eventually. It’s not in my dad to hold a grudge. He doesn’t do conflict, contrary to popular belief,” I explain.
Killian, the rock star, is a very different person than the man I know as my dad. The thing is, the rock star version of him isn’t really who my dad is. It’s more of just a part he plays.
Toby steps farther into the surf and tugs me to him.
“I’m tired of denying my attraction to you, Harmony. I’m tired of worrying about what other people think of me, of us, of this.” I open my mouth to say something, but he puts a finger over my lips to quiet me. “And they could get nasty with you, about you. The gap in our ages is not insignificant.”
“But Toby, don’t you get it? I don’t care. If they talk, they talk. It’s all sticks and stones to me.”
“People in small towns like Port Haven can be small-minded. I don’t want that ruining your outlook on life or on us.” He squeezes my hand and we walk farther into the surf so that the water laps at my thighs. He turns me toward him. Our pants are wet and sticking to us. It only adds to my attraction to this man.
“Toby, I don’t know how to prove to you that I can handle it. But I can, I promise.” I pause, trying to figure out a way to explain myself. “I am the daughter of a Blind Rebel. I’m used to scrutiny. Heck, how many people will you find here who have been formally trained by a publicist on proper ways to act around the press? I just wish they’d have included a section on how to act when you’re arrested.” I try to add humor to our situation. Judging by his face, it’s a little too soon for that.
“Yes, my parents were protective of my brother and me and did their best to keep us out of the media’s eye, but we still landed there. Especially the older we got. The Rebels did a lot of touring in the summer. I spent summer vacations transversing the United States and Europe. With that, came media attention. I didn’t love it, but I handled it.” I don’t know if my explanation is working.
“So come at me, Port Haven. I dare you.” I wink at him. Even though it’s dark, our eyes have adjusted and we can see each other. “It’s worth handling…for you.”
He pulls me to him, the water up to our waists now, clothes clinging to us like a limpet to a rock. The swirl of the water between and around us isn’t cold, though. It’s welcoming. It’s home .
He pulls away from me and looks me directly in the eyes.
“I’m going to marry you someday, Harmony. Not now, not yet. But when it feels right for us. For all three of us.” And then he tentatively puts a hand on the top of my little bump.
The show my cousins and family put so much effort into is a wild success and puts my café on the map as a place to play. Word gets out, thanks to social media, and by the following week, managers and bands themselves call to book a slot to play at The SeaSong.
Harden helps me get organized with a spreadsheet to keep track of the incoming requests and another to record who books spots and when. There are some who don’t care that I don’t have my alcohol license yet. I’m lucky that my family is so big and willing to help me.
“You ready?” Toby leans against the door jamb of my little office in the back of The SeaSong, watching me. The sleeves to his blue button-up are undone and pushed up to his forearms, which I find incredibly sexy and distracting. I think he knows all it takes lately is one look at him for my focus to waver.
“Yeah.” I rise and grab the gift bag from under my desk. It’s Toby’s mom’s birthday, and I got her the perfect gift. When I slip past him through the doorway, my stomach brushes him and he grabs my free hand to hold.
It’s new—us being a couple. Since our conversation in the café and later in the ocean, he’s changed. He’s more communicative. I’ve changed, too. I’ve realized that what’s happened to me isn’t necessarily my fault. That there is not something innately wrong with me.
“Mrs. Peabody says Mom’s having a good day,” he mentions as we leave together in his car. He drives me to his mom’s house where they live together. I’ve only been here once, and his mom was already in bed then. We spend time together daily, whether that’s a lunch date or something as simple as a walk.
We spend our time talking and dreaming about the changes we’ll make to the bookstore and café to combine them. We have weekly date nights that usually end at my place. Toby leaves for home when I get up in the morning to get to The SeaSong. He heads into the bookstore a few hours later, always stopping at the café to see me before he starts his workday.
This will be the first time since I was arrested that I’ve been around Claire. I hope my arrest isn’t something she remembers. That the experience of that night won’t taint what she thinks of me. Even if it does, I don’t think it’ll make Toby break up with me. We aren’t perfect people, but we’re getting good at talking things out now.
We enter through the garage’s mudroom, and I leave the present on the bench for now, not wanting to be disruptive when we finally see his mom. I pause for a second and Toby senses my unease. He places a supportive hand on the small of my back.
“Don’t worry about my mom. If she reacts poorly, we’ll leave and Mrs. Peabody will calm her down.”
“I’m concerned that my trouble with the police might be something that will set off an episode.” I admit my fears, and he pulls me to him.
“If it happens, it happens.” He shrugs. “I don’t think it will, but if it does, remember her reaction is hers. Not mine. It won’t affect my feelings for you. Bring your gift.” He nods to where I set it down. I pick it up and follow him through the kitchen and into the living room. Claire sits in her favorite chair, watching an old game show on the television.
“Hi, Mom. Happy birthday!” He leans down and gives her a hug.
“You’re back, Toby,” she cries gleefully.
“Yes, I was at work. This is Harmony. She’s come to wish you a happy birthday.”
“Happy birthday, Mrs. Kelleher.” Despite my many visits to see her when she was in the hospital, I am gun-shy and don’t know what to say to her.
“Oh, sweet dear! It’s good to see you again.” She pulls me into an unexpected hug. I hand her the gift bag with a mermaid on it.
“You didn’t have to bring me a gift,” she says, but I can tell she’s just being polite and is excited I’ve brought her a birthday present. She pulls out the shimmery tissue paper and reaches in to retrieve the new blue chenille robe that I got her.
“Oh dear. It’s so soft and beautiful. I love it. Thank you.” She rubs the softness against her face.
“You’re welcome. I knew you’d love it! I have one just like it, only mine is pink. I bought my mom one as well. Her’s is purple. Don’t forget the matching slippers in the bag.” She reaches in and pulls out the slippers. They’re perfect—just fuzzy enough to be soft but have a nice, sturdy sole.
I bought it at my favorite gift shop on Ocean called Bella’s Bauble Boutique. I fell in love with that store the first time I visited Port Haven as a young teen. They always have an interesting array of gifts. My mom and I could spend an hour in that store alone at Christmas time looking for gifts for family and friends.
We have a lovely dinner that Mrs. Peabody prepares. She stays with us as we eat, helping to keep an eye on Mrs. Kelleher. She’s not as old as I thought she’d be. She’s probably about my mom’s age. She’s a sweet woman and a great cook. We eat Claire’s favorite roasted chicken recipe with a salad, warmed rolls, and brussels sprouts. We eat cake after singing Happy Birthday, where Claire joins in singing. And then we return to the living room and watch old game shows with her.
As we leave to head to my apartment, Toby squeezes my hand. “See, I knew it would be a good day.” I rest my head on his shoulder before he starts the car, my heart full.