Chapter Five
Caroline
Okay, that’s enough for one day. I think I just need to stay home to avoid any other small town run-ins with exes for the rest of time.
Crawling into the fluffy duvet, I put my phone on silent and bury myself in bed for a gloomy afternoon rest. The first thing I packed when throwing my shit in my bag and leaving my apartment?
Obviously my emotional support kindle. Luckily mom and dad are out of the house tonight, so I dodged another question session and got a quiet moment alone to read and unwind.
I jolt awake in a haze of groggy confusion, finding my kindle still in my left hand.
It’s one of those times I almost wish I didn’t take a nap because now I’ve awoken to a nonexistent missed bus and everything is thrown off.
I reach for my phone on the nightstand and am shocked to find it’s actually six o’clock and I have way too many notifications for my eyes to even adjust enough to read.
Just as I start to sit up, I hear the front door open.
Rolling out of bed, I head to the stairs.
I grasp the wood banister and make my way down to the kitchen to grab some water and greet my mom.
I can’t avoid everyone forever, but at least I can hopefully get my mother alone for this conversation and just let her pass the info along to dad, so that I don’t have to face them both.
My dad’s not exactly a talk about your feelings type of guy.
“Hey mom, how was TJ Maxx?” I ask casually, grabbing a glass from the cabinet. Heading over to the refrigerator, I listen with my back towards her as I fill my cup with water from the filter.
“Eh, a bit of a bust today, but I did grab you some new shoes. I wasn’t sure if you’d be here when I got home or not,” she explains, putting her bags on the floor.
“Yeah, I came back and took a nap after catching up with Kate,” I say as I slide into the barstool next to her at the kitchen counter.
“You must’ve been pretty tired. Did you get any sleep last night?” Mom asks, genuinely concerned.
“A little. I’ve just been feeling worn down and needed to get some rest.”
“So what brings you to town, anyways?” She asks, somewhat ignoring my plea for help.
I pause in the silence, debating on how to approach this. After taking a sip of my water, I finally blurted out, “Grant and I are taking some time apart”. Okay, that's not exactly what I had planned to say, but that was the best I could do.
“Oh? Really? Is there anything we can help with? You know you can tell me.” I can’t tell by her response, if she is shocked by this news or not.
Ugh, I know I can tell her, but I also can't… Why am I having such a hard time getting it out and admitting the full truth? I just know once I reveal the truth, there's no going back.
“Yeah, it's done… we.. he.. cheated on me,” my voice cracks at the end, without warning.
My mom dropped the box of shoes she had pulled from her bag, a loud thunk echoing across the room.
“Oh honey… I'm so sorry,” mom responds, pulling me in for a hug.
Tears start to well up in my eyes and I know I'm done for. It's been probably fifteen years since I let myself cry in my mom's arms, but honestly letting this out feels like a weight off my shoulders.
“I don't even know what to say. You don't deserve that at all, just know that we’re here for you.” She doesn’t let go or push for a response. She just lets me wallow.
Finally mustering up some words, I mutter “I know… I know no one saw it coming… except me.” She lets the silent pause linger between us, giving me some time to speak. “I think I knew for a long time and didn't want to face it, but this… was very in my face,” I finally admit.
“Gosh, I don't even know what to say, sweetie. I had no idea it was that bad.” She hangs her head low.
“Thanks mom, I know”. Why was I so afraid to tell her this? I feel so much better now. Did I think she was going to get mad at me? I really don't know what I expected, but leave it to my mind to always come up with the worst case scenario.
“Do you want to join us for dinner? Dad and I are going to that new Mexican restaurant tonight,” mom asks hopefully, trying to change the tone.
But as much as I love Mexican food and a good free meal on my dad’s dime, I was definitely not up for getting ready or leaving this house again today. “No thanks, I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight. Can you bring me back something?”
I give her my order, as if it's ever changed, and head back up to my lair.