Chapter Eighteen
Caroline
The rest of my stuff is finally all packed up in the U-Haul.
And the best part? I managed to get it all out of the apartment without ever running into Grant.
Homeless, jobless, single, and pregnant…
What a glamorous life I am living. The girl I was three years ago never would have allowed us to get to this point.
But maybe you have to hit the very rock bottom to really appreciate everything that you have at the top.
As weird as it may sound, I feel more grateful and free now than I ever did when it looked like I had it all.
With a deep breath, I place my key on the kitchen counter, grab my bags and close the door on this chapter for the last time.
∞∞∞
Kate and I are sitting on my bedroom floor, unpacking my clothes and getting distracted by our side conversations.
A wave of reminiscence hits me and reminds me of all of the sleepovers we used to have in this room, just giggling until the sun came up.
Our boy problems seemed so big back then, but now I’d give anything to go back to that time.
Now I wish my current issues were as miniscule as they really were then.
“So, how long do you think you’ll be staying here?” Kate asks, snapping me back to reality.
“I wish I knew. Believe it or not, I currently have no game plan or timeline,” I respond, sounding as defeated as I feel.
Kate gasps in mock horror. “Cara? Is that you? What have you done with my Caroline? This can’t be true”
I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. And I really hate asking my parents for help, but I really don’t think they mind me staying here for a bit.” I shrug. “Besides, it’s oddly nice not having to make a decision right now. I’m just happy to be out of that hell hole.”
I walk into the bathroom and put away my perfume bottles in the cabinet. Walking back out, I decide to pull the trigger on my most recent news, so that I can really talk to my best friend about what’s going on.
“There is something else, though.” I linger and she gives me a quizzical look, unsure of what I’m about to say. I walk out of the bathroom doorway and hand her the pregnancy test with a look that says, this should explain a lot.
Her jaw drops and she takes a second to realize what’s happening. “WHAT?! Oh my god are you kidding me?! With who?!” She shouts.
I put my hand over her mouth before my mom heard her downstairs. “Shhh. With Grant, dummy. Who else?”
“Oh my god, oh my god. When did you find out? Why didn’t you tell me?!” I can see her going through the full range of emotions that I did when making this discovery.
“I just found out a couple of days ago, when I was back in Chicago… I don’t know how I’ve kept it quiet, but I’ve been in such shock and denial that I wasn’t even sure how to convince myself it was real, much less tell anyone else…” I started to explain.
“Oh wow, so what do you think about all this..?” She tries to tread lightly and word the question to the best of her ability. I can tell she doesn’t know whether to be excited or scared for me. “Wait, does Grant know?” I see more questions coming to her mind.
“No. I haven’t told anyone. I don’t know what to do.
I’d have to already be like 8 weeks along.
It’s been a lot to process. Part of me is surprisingly quite happy, but I just really don’t want to be tied to him forever…
” I’ve been conflicted over sharing this information all week and have hardly slept.
Having to share a child with Grant for the rest of my life truly terrifies me…
but doing it alone without his financial support is just as scary.
“Yeah, that’s tough. But hey, you don’t have to figure all of this out right now. Maybe it’s better that you are closer to family now and have your support system around. You know I’m always here.” She gives me a side hug and squeezes my shoulder. “It will all be alright. One day at a time.”
“Thanks, Kate. Really, I appreciate it. It’s such a big weight off my shoulders getting that out.” I try to relax and enjoy the comfort of sitting with my friend, knowing I can discuss the situation out loud now.
“Of course, and if you need a referral in town, I love my OBGYN.” Kate tries to lighten the mood of the room.
“Oh, thank you! I should definitely call and make an appointment soon. I’ve just been trying to get all of this settled first. One obstacle at a time.”