Chapter Thirty Three
Caroline
Waffle House may not sound like most people’s first choice, but deep down I’m a simple girl at heart.
Something inside this belly of mine missed warm gooey chocolate chip waffles and salted buttery grits.
Sure, it’s a bit of a change of pace from the steakhouses in Chicago, and yet there is no part of me that wishes I was there in my high heels right now instead.
I actually start to feel sorry for myself that I tried to convince everyone that I was too good for this life and missed out on so many years of Texas Bacon Cheesesteak Melts.
“Earth to Caroline.” Reid waves a hand in front of my face in a sing-song tone.
“Sorry sorry, I’m here. Just hypnotized by breakfast food. Pregnancy will do that to you.” I shrug and smile, looking back over at him.
“Well then I’m glad we are getting some top tier nutrition for you and baby girl then.
” Reid smiles back. “Do you… have a name picked out for her yet?” He hesitates, as we hardly discuss the baby.
Actually, it’s just about everyone around me these days.
Tip toeing around the obvious elephant in the room.
But honestly, I wish more people wanted to talk about my baby.
“Oh.. yeah, I’m actually leaning towards Chloe. I heard it symbolizes ‘new life’ and ‘blooming’. I found it appropriate for my new beginning and hopeful path forward,” I blush at the cheesy confession, hoping he likes it since I haven’t told anyone my name choices yet.
“Wow, I love that.” His eyes truly show amazement in them. A lot of people ask me questions about my pregnancy, but it usually just feels forced or because it seems like a nice thing to do. Reid though? He always seems genuinely interested in what I have to say.
“Thanks… Kate wants to throw me a baby shower, but I just don’t know if I’m up for it.” She’s brought the topic up to me a couple of times, but I’ve just been too overwhelmed to think about it.
“Aww why not? You deserve to be spoiled,” Reid pushes.
“Yeah I’m just not sure I want all of that attention on me.”
“Caroline not wanting attention? Man, you really have changed,” he sarcastically remarks, mid bite.
“Ha ha, very funny. It’s just hard having to accept that it’s not going to be how I pictured it.
Even my mom, who loves to throw a good party, hasn’t offered to advertise my fatherless baby on the way.
” This isn’t how I pictured my first pregnancy going, but even more so, this isn’t how I pictured my parents becoming grandparents.
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t still subconsciously want their approval.
“Sometimes that’s better though. Sure, things don’t always go the way we planned or hoped for, but God always has a way of showing us how things were meant to be.
” Reid puts his fork down for this philosophical explanation.
“Maybe that man just wasn’t meant to be in your lives.
Maybe he had to be removed to make room for better people to come along and support you. Quality over quantity, if you ask me.”
“You know, I’m beginning to think you are the only one with a good head on your shoulders in this town. How do you do it? Not care what everyone thinks about every decision you make?” I honestly look up to his ability to freely do as he pleases.
“You’re giving them too much power. Their opinions don’t matter.
Once you let go of thinking it’s your responsibility to maintain the version of you that people have created in their heads, you gain a lot more freedom.
All that matters is that you like yourself and your life.
Everything else is just extra.” He declares, as if it’s just that easy.
“Wow. I’ve never really thought about it like that. You are wise beyond your years, Reid Perry.” I give a soft smile in admiration as I sip my coffee.
“We can thank my father for that. Just trying to be more like him, one day at a time.”
“He is a good man. How’s his therapy going?” I turn the discussion away from my life, but am genuinely curious about his family.
“Great, I’m just trying to fix up the house so that I can move in when my lease is up.” How's your search to move out of your parent’s house going? I’ve got plenty of rooms.” He smirks at me after his last comment.
“Sir, are you asking me to move in with you again?” I tilt my head in sarcastic disbelief.
“Hey, I’ve got space to fill, you need a place to go and a helping hand.” He says as if what he’s offering isn’t completely outrageous.
“Unfortunately, I’m not in the business of taking handouts at the moment.” I wink. “I may be desperate, but I’m still independent.”
“Oh, I don’t give handouts. But I do accept repayment in the form of cooking, cleaning, and sexual favors.” He winks back.
“Reid!” I place my fork down on the plate and smack his shoulder. Ignoring his jokes, I lean back and groan with my belly in the air. “Man, I am so full. You may need to roll me out of here.”
“I’m serious, Caroline.” All playfulness has left his voice and his staring me in the eyes with the most sincere look.
"Serious about what? The sexual favors?" I raise my eyebrows and laugh it off. He can't really mean what I think he means.
He ignores my deflection and plows on. “Why not? Why can’t we give this another shot?” Oh, he really is serious now.
“Oh, because that ended so well the last time,” I mutter under my breath while rolling my eyes.
“We were just kids then. No one’s here to stop us now. We’ve both grown, explored, and there’s a reason we found ourselves back in each other’s paths.”
“You’re really on this ‘everything happens for a reason’ kick today, aren’t you?”
“Is it working?” he says with a big hopeful grin.
“I don’t know, Reid. There’s a lot on my plate right now,” I say, letting my shoulders release.
“Actually, it looks like you ate most of it.” He chuckles at my empty plate.
“Seriously, Reid. What makes you think this will work out? What makes you want to have anything to do with me in the state I’m in?” How can he just act like everything is so simple?
“Because I told myself that if I ever ended up back in your life, I would never let you go again.” He reaches across the table to grab my hand.
“You are so much more amazing than you give yourself credit for. I can see it and want you to too. We might both still have some work to do, but I wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else.
You know my history and now I want you as part of my future. ” His gaze is so serious on mine.
I sit quietly, taking in his words and the look in his eyes. His features grow soft and everything he’s saying hits me right in the chest. This is not where I was expecting this day to go, but I’m trying to make my logical thinking brain take a backseat for a moment and let my heart do the leading.
“Are you sure you’re up for this? This is a lot of adjustment for both of us, but having a crying baby in the house just feels like it could really ruin the relationship we’ve finally gotten back.” I tried to be hopeful, but future logic settled back in.
“Look, I’m not saying it’s going to be easy or that I will know what to do all of the time.
But what I’m saying is that I am willing to try and I will care for you and that baby, as if it were my own.
You deserve all of that and then some. I just don’t think your parents house is the best environment for you right now.
I want you to be comfortable and feel supported,” Reid replies, realizing his mug is empty and we’ve been sitting here for far too long.
“Wow. Well, that’s a lot to think about.” The server places our check on the table. Reid grabs it before I can even glance at it, and stands up to pull his wallet out of his back pocket.
“All I’m saying is to think about it.” He grins as he walks up to the register to pay.