Chapter Forty Four
Reid
It physically pains me to have to wake up and head back into work today.
Despite yesterday’s fiasco, last night ended up being utterly incredible.
But now, my alarm has woken me up far too early.
I am still spooning Caroline while trying to shut my phone up before it wakes her up too.
Trying to quietly slide out of my side of the sheets, I catch myself staring.
Good Lord, she is magnificent. I hate that that man has made her question her confidence. I can only hope to restore every piece of her. The carefree version that I once knew. And hope that she forgives me for being the one to push her away in the first place.
I quit lingering and sneak off to the bathroom in the hall to brush my teeth. Swishing some mouthwash and spitting it out, I am nearly startled half to death when I look back up at the mirror to see Caroline behind me.
“Holy shit!” I damn near choke myself with my toothbrush.
“Sorry sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you,” she quietly apologizes.
“It’s fine, I didn’t mean to wake you. You can go back to bed.” I hope my movement didn’t ruin the final bit of rest she was getting.
“No, it’s not you. My bladder and this baby sitting on it wakes me up like clock work,” she explains, crossing her legs before making her way over to the toilet.
I shake my head in understanding with a grin on my face. As I start to turn to exit the bathroom and give her some privacy, she gasps and startles me once again.
“Oh my god!” She exclaims.
“What? What is it?” I turn back around to see her just standing in place.
“My legs are soaked.” Then she looks back up at me and locks eyes. “Reid, I think my water broke!”
“What? Really? But you’re not due for another few weeks.” I say, as if I know how any of this actually works.
“I don’t think that matters right now. Can you drive me to the hospital to get checked, after I change?” Well, this morning is certainly taking a turn. Adrenaline starts to spike my system as I realize what is happening right now.
“Are you sure you didn’t just… pee yourself?” She eyes me and clearly does not appreciate my question, but then panic sets in. “Shit Caroline, is this my fault?”
“Your fault? Are you okay? Why on earth would you think that?” She scrunches her eyebrows in together, then lifts them back up and laughs. “Oh my god, because of last night?”
All I can do is nod my head. I knew that was a bad idea, God I hope I didn’t harm the baby.
“Yep, it's all your fault. You did this and now you get to clean up your mess.” She is laughing hysterically at my horror. “Idiot, just throw these in the washer while I try to find some dry clothes and go grab my bag!”
∞∞∞
Caroline may be calm, cool, and collected or just internally freaking out in silence, but I am driving like her life depends on it.
We made it to the hospital in ten minutes flat.
She waddles up to the desk, while I carry her five million things behind her.
She called the OB on our way in to give them a heads up about what happened and that we were heading here.
They manage to get us back to a triage room pretty quickly for some testing to see if she will be staying and having the baby or if her water truly is broken.
She’s waiting on the bed in a hospital gown with monitors strapped to her belly and psychiatric looking socks on her feet, while I silently catch the sunrise from the hospital room window.
“Thanks for being here,” she says in a near whisper from behind me. If it weren’t completely silent in here, I might not have heard her.
“Of course. I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” I can’t read what’s going on behind her eyes. Worry? Hope? I can only imagine the rollercoaster of emotions that she’s going through right now. “Are you okay?” I inquire to try and read the room.
“Yes, just nervous.” She gives a weak smile. “I haven’t really thought about the actual birth process until now,” Caroline admits, glancing down at her belly.
“You’re going to do great! And I will be right here by your side, holding your hand the whole time.
” I walk over to sit in the uncomfortable chair next to her bed and grab her left hand.
“Do you want me to call anyone? Kate? Your mom? I get it if I’m not your first choice in this room today.
” Whatever will ease her mind today, I am here to provide.
“No, no. I don’t want an audience. It’s honestly pretty peaceful just having you here.” I see a flicker of tears well behind her eyes. Something comes over me and the words leave my lips before my brain gets a chance to process them.
“I love you,” I whisper to her. I kiss her hand in mine, trying to hide that I didn’t really mean to say that out loud.
“Reid…” she tilts her head in awe.
“You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted to let you know. I never stopped loving you and I’m sorry that I didn’t fight harder to find you.” I hope I’m not putting more pressure on her right now, but I had to make sure she knew.
“You know I love you too,” she says as if we’ve been saying it for years.
“Really?” I can feel my hopes spark and I have no intention of controlling it. At this point, I would rather allow myself to feel everything than nothing at all.
“Of course,” she reiterates. “The only thing is…” Caroline trails off. And here it is. The ‘but’, the disappointment, the gentle letdown. The monitor beeps in the corner for what feels like an entire lifetime while I wait for her to finish her thought.
“I loved you last time too. And that ending broke me.” She finally admits and her words pain me.
“I know, and I hope you will someday forgive -” I start to explain myself, but am cut short.
“Let me finish.” She cuts me off. I silently nod in agreement.
“But it also made me.” Confused, I scrunch my brows together but stay quiet and allow her to elaborate.
“If it weren’t for that heartbreak, I wouldn’t have learned half the lessons I know today.
I’ve always been one to have to learn my lessons the hard way.
And while I wish my dad hadn’t intervened and that we hadn’t lost all these years together…
I wouldn’t change our story. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today.
It gave us each time to live our lives and grow and experience things that we may never have together.
I truly believe that everything happens for a reason and that we were led back together for a reason.
It was just the right person, wrong time situation.
But now? Now we are adults that know how to communicate and make our own decisions and be there for each other. ”
A warm smile spreads across my face, meeting my eyes. I feel grateful for her finally opening up to me. She seems to have more to say, but before either of us can continue, there’s a knock at the door before it swings open.