Chapter 35
THIRTY-FIVE
LARS
Lars paced back and forth across the living room, tapping his phone against the palm of his hand.
His heart raced from the anxiety pumping through him.
He and Mel came to a temporary truce for the weekend, instead focusing on the girls and supporting their friends at the bake sale fundraiser for The Tavern.
But in the evenings, after the girls went to bed, the tension returned.
He could barely talk to Mel without getting angry, without feeling this crushing fear that he was about to lose everything.
Pausing, he sighed and hit the contact for his lawyer. Initially, talks about their divorce had been simple and peaceful, but now, he needed to tell her about the new obstacles and arguments. The secretary answered then connected him to Dinah Washington.
“Hello, Mr. Spencer,” she said in a cheery tone. The woman was sweet and all smiles… until she was in the courtroom. Then, she was fierce. “How are you doing?”
“I’ve been better. How are you?”
“I’m fine. What’s going on? I assume it has something to do with why you’re calling so early on a Monday.”
With Allie and Chloe at school and Mel running errands with Maddie in tow, he thought now would be the best time.
He took a seat on the arm of the couch and quickly summed up the situation.
“I don’t necessarily want to fight her for custody, but if she does take the job and wants to move with them, then I want to be prepared. ”
Dinah was quiet for a moment before saying, “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this. Honestly, if she moves, it could get ugly, but I will definitely help you through that. To be clear, if she wants to take them to London, you want to fight for full custody?”
“Yes,” he said.
“All right, then we need to put together an argument for why they should stay with you. Beyond the obvious that this is their home, their schools are here, and your support system is here, is there anything else I should know?” The sound of typing came through the phone as she continued talking.
“If there’s a reason they shouldn’t be with her, I need to know it. ”
He shook his head, even though she couldn’t see him. “I don’t want the fight to be against her as a person. She’s a good mom, and she loves them. I want to focus on the reasons they should remain here.”
“And that’s noble of you, really, but courts often side with the mother in custody cases, especially when there’s nothing strong to suggest she shouldn’t have custody.
If you truly want to fight for them, you might need to get your hands dirty.
If there’s something that will sway a judge to your side… ”
There was something, but he didn’t want to use it.
Not yet. Unless Mel was relentless, giving him no choice, he had no intention of ever telling anyone about the time when her depression had nearly consumed her after Allie was born.
Her postpartum had grown so intense that he’d asked his mom take Allie for a few days because he was afraid of what Mel might do.
It wasn’t her fault, and he never ever held it against her.
He’d only ever wanted to help her and keep his baby safe.
But after that, she’d started talking about adoption.
She’d wanted to give Allie up and start her life over.
And that had nearly killed him. She’d even left once when Chloe was about a year old.
He hadn’t known if she would return, but even then, he had no desire to abandon the girls.
Occasionally, he would get questions from people asking what made him stay when they found out they were pregnant so young, but the truth was, he never had any desire to leave.
He’d loved Mel, and he’d fallen head over heels for each of his babies the moment he knew they existed.
Mel hadn’t been ready to be a parent. She’d said so many times in the beginning, but it slowly got better after that time she left.
She’d told him that she got halfway across the state before realizing just how big of a mistake she’d made, and that she’d realized then that she couldn’t leave her family because there was nothing she loved more in this world.
Since then, she’d been the most attentive and loving mother.
But he knew that kind of dark past was exactly what the lawyer wanted.
“Just think about it and get back to me if there’s anything you want me to know,” Dinah said, reminding him that he was still on the phone. He’d been too quiet for too long.
“I will,” he said. “Thank you.”
“Is there anything else I need to know?”
He started shaking his head but stopped. “There’s something she might try to use against me somehow.”
“Okay, what’s that?”
Taking a deep breath, he said, “I’ve recently started a new relationship with a mutual friend.
It did not start prior to our separation, there was no affair, which I’ve explained to her, and she seems to believe me.
But she wasn’t happy when she found out.
Though, we’d discussed dating other people, and she’d already gone out a few times too. ”
“So, you think it’s the fact that it’s a friend upsetting her?”
“Maybe? I’m hoping it was just shock and that she’ll be supportive of us, but I thought I’d give you a heads up to be safe. In case she comes at me from that angle, especially since it’s…”
“Since it’s?” Dinah asked.
Lars cleared his throat. “A man.”
A beat of silence passed before she spoke again. “Is it serious or did she simply catch you with him?”
“Serious,” he said. Realizing he didn’t hesitate, he smiled to himself. “He’s been my best friend most of our lives.”
“Honestly… so long as we don’t get a bigoted judge, this could potentially work in your favor.
If you two lived together, for example, we could argue that the kids would be better off in a stable two-parent household.
Melanie is wanting to move on her own with three young children to another country, where I’m assuming she doesn’t have a massive support system like you guys do here. ”
“Just a couple friends,” he confirmed.
He could practically hear Dinah nodding as she said, “Okay, then. This is good to know. Like I said, as long as the judge is fair and open-minded, I think this could truly go your way. Unless she can find some sort of proof of an affair—”
“There is none,” he said firmly.
“Then, you’ve got a strong chance of keeping your girls, Mr. Spencer.” She mumbled something, presumably to someone else, before returning to him. “I need to go, but think about what I said. And take some slow, deep breaths. It might get ugly, but I really don’t think you’ll lose them.”
“Thank you.”
They said their goodbyes and hung up, and Lars stared at the picture on the wall beside the entertainment center.
They’d done family photos in the spring, around Maddie’s first birthday.
It had been a nice warm day, everything finally turning green and blooming.
They’d put the girls in different-colored pastel summer dresses and met a local photographer near the walking trails by the lake.
At the time, Aaron was still living with them, so he offered to come along to help.
The photographer took some shots of each girl, some of all three together, and then a bunch with the whole family.
With each one, to no one’s surprise, Chloe grew more and more restless.
Aaron entertained her when she wasn’t in the pictures and was the only one who could get her to focus and smile normally in hers.
She’d been the one who asked for him to be with them when taking family photos. After a few, she had insisted Aaron join them, and Lars and Mel quickly agreed. It had started as a joke among the adults, but then it just felt… right.
The one they’d blown up to hang included Aaron. He was holding Chloe, of course, in the middle. Behind him, on either side, Lars held Allie and Mel had Maddie. The six of them looked so happy.
Lars lifted his phone and snapped a picture of it.
He opened his texts with Aaron and started to send it, but he paused.
All he wanted to do was talk to Aaron. But he didn’t want to face him before figuring out a plan.
Sighing, he put his phone in his pocket, grabbed his keys, and headed out the door.
He drove to his parents house in a haze. His mom would help. She always did.
But she wasn’t home. When Lars found his dad watching a replay of an old baseball game, he almost turned around and left again. He loved his dad, but he also knew he’d disappointed the man when he walked away from their baseball dreams nearly seven years ago.
“Sit,” his dad said. “Your anxious energy is making me nervous.”
Lars rolled his eyes and took a seat on the couch.
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing.” Lars tried to relax, leaning back into the cushion.
“Come on, son. Something is clearly bothering you. You’re here in the middle of a work day, and you look like someone shot your dog.”
“I don’t have a dog.”
His dad turned toward him. “You should get one. The girls would love a puppy.”
Lars let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a scoff. “Right, because my house isn’t chaotic enough.”
Shrugging, he said, “It’d probably keep Chloe occupied.”
At that, Lars’s laugh turned more genuine. “Are you kidding? She and the puppy would probably form an alliance to see who could destroy the house and drive us insane fastest.”
The corner of his dad’s mouth curled into a smile. “But the image got you out of your head for a second.”
“It did,” Lars admitted, surprised.
“I know I’m not your mom, but I can listen.”
Lars turned his attention to the TV, fixating on the familiarity of the game he missed so much. His parents were caught up on everything with Mel. But his dad still didn’t know about Aaron, and right now, that was the factor he needed advice on.
“I’m kind of dating someone, and I’m scared that this situation with Mel is going to make me push them away.
” More than he already had. “Mom said… I know you didn’t want us to get divorced, but mom said you’re more concerned about the living arrangements being hard on everyone down the line.
” He took a chance to look over at his dad.
“That’s true,” he said with a nod.
“So, I’ve been worried about telling you about this person for that reason and another…”
His dad sat up straighter, leaning forward slightly. “Is it someone I won’t like?” He made a face of disgust. “She’s not a Cardinals fan, is she?”
Lars couldn’t help but chuckle. “No. Um,” he swallowed, “he’s a Cubs fan.”
“Okay, so, what’s…” He trailed off, as if just processing the words. “Did you say he?”
Lars slowly nodded before whispering, “It’s Aaron.”
His dad stared at him for a moment. “Aaron Barnes?”
“Yeah.” He almost asked how many Aarons he knew, but he held back. Now wasn’t the time for jokes.
“You’re dating Aaron Barnes?”
“Yes.” Lars clenched his jaw. His leg started nervously bouncing. “I’m bi—”
“Do you love him?”
Lars stilled. He looked at his dad, really looked at him, and realized what he was seeing. There was no anger in his eyes. Confusion, maybe, but not anger or disgust. Lars nodded again, hope filling his chest.
“And you’re afraid that because of this thing with Mel and the kids, he won’t want to stick around?”
“No,” Lars said, trying to figure out his own confusion. This was not the reaction he’d expected. “No, I think he will. I’m more worried that I’ll do something stupid like tell him he should leave for his own good.”
“So, don’t do that.”
A huff of laughter escaped Lars. “Just don’t do it? That’s your advice?”
His dad stood and motioned for him to follow.
As they walked into the kitchen, he said, “Yeah. I mean, the guy pretty much lives with you already. Clearly you’ve given this some thought.
” He refilled his mug of coffee then faced Lars, leaning against the counter.
“You’re a smart man, and you love your family more than anything, so I know this isn’t some impulsive fling that doesn’t mean anything. You wouldn’t risk that with him.”
“No, I wouldn’t.”
“Right, so, don’t be an idiot. I know you’re in the habit of making sacrifices for the people you love—”
“Dad.”
He held up a hand. “I admire what you’ve done for your family. I know I haven’t said it enough, but I’m proud of you Lars. My point, however, is don’t self-sacrifice when all it’s going to do is hurt you both.”
Lars stared at him in wonder. He didn’t even know what to say.
“Plus, the girls are already attached to him, so pushing him away would hurt them too. And I know you’d never intentionally hurt them.”
With a sigh, Lars said, “You’re right.”
“I know I am.” His dad gave him a smirk before sipping his coffee. “I’m great at giving advice.”
“And so humble.” After a moment, Lars had to ask, “You’re not upset that I’m dating a man?”
His dad set his mug aside then held his gaze. “I don’t care who you date as long as they treat you and your girls well. And I’ve known Aaron since he was six years old. I know how much he adores them and values your friendship. He’s a good man.”
Lars closed the distance to his dad and hugged him tightly. “He really is.”