Chapter 36
THIRTY-SIX
AARON
This was probably the stupidest thing Aaron had done in a really long time. But he thought it was necessary for everyone to move on. He didn’t know how else to make things right.
Katherine told him he could go on back when he entered the small office building. He found Mel talking to her co-worker near one of the rear windows that looked out toward the lake. They both turned as he approached. Mel’s shock quickly morphed into wariness.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
Sighing, she grabbed her jacket from the back of a nearby chair then led him out the back door to a patio. “What, Aaron?”
He walked over to the wrought iron rail, watching the few remaining leaves across the wooded area surrounding the lake tremble in a cool breeze. “Lars has been my best friend since we were six years old.”
“I’m aware.” She took a seat on a bench.
Aaron turned to face her. “But you and I have been friends almost as long.”
Mel crossed her arms. “And?”
“And I don’t want you to hate me for falling in love with him.”
Her eyes widened a fraction before going soft. “I didn’t realize you… How can you expect me to believe you two haven’t been fooling around this whole time when you claim to feel so deeply already?”
He didn’t blame her for that. “I don’t have a good answer except that he’s been such an important part of my life for so long that it was like, as soon as we opened that door…
all of these feelings came flooding out.
” He rolled his eyes and pushed off of the rail to move toward her.
Taking a seat, he said, “God, that sounded cheesy even to me.”
“It really was,” she said, a hint of amusement in the twitch of her lips.
“But it’s true. I don’t know how else to explain it because,” he took a deep breath, “I don’t know how to shut that door again. I don’t know how to go back, and honestly, I don’t want to.”
“Aaron—”
“I love him,” he went on. “But I also love you and your daughters. Those girls mean everything to me. I know I don’t have a say when it comes to them, but I want you to really think about what moving to London would mean.”
She sighed again. “You think I haven’t? It’s tearing me apart inside.” She paused a moment before asking, “I don’t suppose you’d move with me and convince Lars we can all be happy there, would you?”
Aaron looked down at a brown leaf fluttering across the ground. “Honestly? If that’s what Lars wanted, if he asked me to go with him, I would definitely consider it.” He lifted his gaze to hers. “But I really think he doesn’t want to leave. And not because of me. This is bigger than us.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she whispered.
“Okay, close your eyes.”
She raised a brow but eventually did as he asked.
“Imagine your life five years from now, or even just one year,” he said. “What does it look like? What’s your dream solution to this situation?”
Opening her eyes, she looked at him. “To have that job and my babies… here.”
He smiled and slid over on the bench to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “Good. I can work with that.”
“How?”
“I mean… I don’t actually know, but the fact that you do want to stay makes a difference.
We can figure it out.” He kissed the side of her head.
“I love you guys, and the thought of losing any of you has just about destroyed me. I know you probably don’t feel the same right now, but you’re my family. ”
She nodded with a small smile. “You’re in our family portrait, Aaron. Of course you’re a part of this. You always will be.” Angling toward him, she said, “Speaking of family, how’s your dad? I still can’t believe you have a sister.”
“Subtle subject change.”
“I was gone for two weeks,” she said, shrugging a shoulder. “A lot happened apart from you sleeping with my husband, and—”
He narrowed his eyes. “Ex.”
At that, she let out a soft chuckle and continued. “And we haven’t really talked about the rest.”
For a moment, Aaron just stared out over the lake. “I don’t actually know how he is,” he finally admitted. “We don’t really talk unless it’s about Bri, who’s great.”
“It’s okay to forgive him, you know,” she said in a soft tone. “It’s also okay not to. It’s your choice, but if he’s as sick as he says, I think you should at least try to get some closure. Whether that means forgiving him or just telling him off, that’s up to you.”
Aaron nodded in agreement. The truth was, with all the talk of families the past few days, he’d been thinking about his dad a lot. Because she was right; he needed closure one way or another before it was too late.
“Aaron?” his dad said, opening the door.
For the second time that day, Aaron said, “Can we talk?”
His dad stepped back to let him in. “Bri won’t be home for a couple hours.”
“I know.” Aaron took a seat in one of the armchairs while his dad took the other. “I’m here to talk to you.”
“Okay…” he said warily. “What’s up?”
Aaron clasped his hands in his lap to keep from fidgeting.
He had a lot of questions and didn’t know where to start.
He wanted answers about the past, but there was something else he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the past couple weeks.
Meeting his dad’s gaze, he asked, “Why did you stay for her?”
The tension in the room was palpable, but Aaron waited. This time, he wasn’t running. Another thing he’d realized recently: he ran when things got tough or overwhelming. Like his dad. And he didn’t want to be that person either. He never wanted to hurt the people he loved like that.
His dad took a visibly deep breath, nodding to himself.
“By the time Brianna was born, you were, what, sixteen? It had been a decade since I left, and… I was a different person at that point. You and your brother had meant the world to me, but I wasn’t in a good place.
I couldn’t take care of myself, let alone a family.
And your mom never needed me. She'd made that clear.”
“Don’t blame—”
“No, I’m not blaming her, just explaining. She’d been fiercely independent all her life, and I thought I could live with that, but I couldn’t. I wanted to feel needed.”
Aaron fought to keep his anger under control. “So, you cheated on her?”
His dad nodded once more. “I found women who were more… well, they wanted to be taken care of. It made me feel powerful, and that led to a lot of bad shit, Aaron. I wasn’t a good person, and I fell in with a bad group. I was drinking all the time, doing drugs. You name it, I tried it.”
Aaron hadn’t known about any of that.
“It’s not an excuse, but I truly thought you’d all be better off without me.” He started coughing and lifted a hand to cover his mouth.
Aaron knew his father was sick, but it hadn’t really hit him until now.
It hadn’t fully registered until the man lowered his hand to reveal blood.
He started coughing again, over and over.
Aaron jumped to his feet, unsure how to help.
Spotting a box of tissues, he quickly grabbed it and handed a few to his dad.
“Dad…” he whispered, crouching in front of him. “What do I do?”
He shook his head, but it was a few minutes before he got it under control and could speak. “Nothing, Aaron. I’m dying; there’s nothing anyone can do.”
A lump formed in Aaron’s throat. For so long, he’d hated this man.
He’d been so angry. That didn’t mean he wanted him dead though.
Aaron stood, mumbling that he would get some water.
Really, he just needed a moment to himself.
He went to the kitchen and searched the cabinets for a glass then filled it from the pitcher in the refrigerator he’d seen his dad use the day they were here freaking out about Bri.
Bri. What would she do when their dad died? Did he have a plan?
Setting the glass of water aside, he braced his hands on the counter and hung his head. He wasn’t sure how long he stood there when footsteps neared.
“Aaron,” his dad said in a softer tone than anything Aaron had ever heard from him.
“Why didn’t you reach out when you returned?”
His dad washed his hands. He then took the water and sipped at it before saying, “I didn’t think you’d want to see me.”
Aaron faced him. “I didn’t.”
He let out a breath, shaking his head. “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I’m not asking for it, but… I do need to ask you something.”
“What?”
His dad visibly inhaled then met his gaze.
“There isn’t much I did right in this world, but I tried with your sister.
I love her, just as I do you boys. She has no one else.
Just… promise me you’ll stay in her life.
Make sure she finds a good home. The thought of her slipping through the cracks or getting put in a bad foster home… ”
Aaron understood all too well what he meant because he felt the same. The last thing he wanted was for her to end up somewhere terrible. Nodding, he told his dad, “I’ll make sure she’s taken care of. I promise.”
“Thank you.” He hesitantly put a hand on Aaron’s shoulder. “And I’m sorry. For everything. I don’t know how long I have, but I’d like to get to know my sons while I can. If you’re not open to that, I understand, but I had to at least try.”
Aaron hadn’t really known what he was going to do when he decided to drive over here.
He’d known he wanted some sort of closure, but he hadn’t anticipated wanting to make amends.
He hadn’t been prepared to work on this relationship.
Seeing his dad coughing up blood, barely able to catch his breath… that had him rethinking things.
He wasn’t ready to completely forgive him for the past. Moving on as if it hadn’t happened wasn’t something Aaron could do.
But maybe he could be open to getting reacquainted with the man. Maybe in time, they could close that gap and he could slowly learn to forgive.
Nodding, he held out a hand to his dad. “I think I’d like that.”