Chapter 57
Later that evening, Lottie lies beside Josh on the double bed.
Right now she is almost glad that there isn’t a travel cot supplied in this small, cramped room.
At least it gives her an excuse to cuddle up to her son.
As she gently strokes his back, lulling him to sleep, she takes solace in his company, trying not to feel the aching absence of Tim.
The last few hours have been spent in a dull round of monotony; making a bland meal of pasta for herself and Josh from the meagre, uninspiring ingredients she had picked up in haste from the supermarket.
Neither of them seemed to have much appetite and, just for tonight, Lottie abandoned her usual high parenting standards allowing them both to eat crisps and ice lollies on the sofa in their underwear while they tried to keep cool.
Josh has none of his toys, since they are still in the Airbnb apartment along with all their other gear, so they had sat side by side on the uncomfortable sofa, watching back-to-back cartoons on the Disney channel, both comatose from the heat, the junk food and the strange, dislocated events of the last few days.
Now as she spoons her son – not too close as to wake him – her ears prick at the sound of a car pulling up on the road outside, the headlights casting a harsh beam into the bedroom window.
A car door bangs and then another. Low voices exchange a few formal words and, though she dares not hope, she then hears a soft knock at the front door.
Extricating herself carefully from the bed, checking that Josh is safely marooned in the centre, she runs to the door.
At the sight of Tim on the doorstep, his exhausted face and the beleaguered slope of his shoulders, she pulls him into the house, into her arms, shutting the door and with it the world outside.
‘Where’s Josh?’ he asks, and she indicates the bedroom with a finger to her lips.
She leads him through to the lounge and they slump on the sofa, filling the scooped-out spaces left by previous inhabitants. Tim stares ahead, silently unseeing. Lottie leans over, places a tender hand on the side of his face and pulls his head towards her, kisses his cheek.
‘It’s over now. We’re both through the worst of it.’
Tim shakes his head slowly, whether in denial or mystification it’s not clear, and Lottie sighs in response.
‘I can’t believe that someone would try to blame us for this,’ she says. ‘That the police are trying to pin it on us. Just because they haven’t got any other leads. If I ever find out who planted those tools in our apartment, I’ll …’
Tim turns to look at her. All the light seems to have gone from his eyes and in its place is a dull hardness.
‘You’ll what, Lottie? What will you do?’
‘I don’t know,’ she says, taken aback. ‘Nothing probably. It’s a turn of phrase, Tim.’
‘That’s just it, isn’t it?’ he says. ‘No one ever knows what you’ll do. In the heat of the moment. When you insist you’ve got right on your side. I never know what you’re capable of either.’
‘What? Don’t be ridiculous. Look, you’ve had a hell of a day.
I was there too, remember? Spent a night in the cells, on my own.
I never want to go through that again. But there’s no need to take it out on me.
We’ve got to stick together, Tim. They’re trying to divide and conquer, it’s a classic police technique. ’
‘You’d know,’ he murmurs, under his breath.
‘What’s that?’ she says, even though she heard him quite clearly.
‘You’re no stranger to all this stuff, Lottie. Better at standing up for yourself. Fighting the good fight. Me, I’m no good. I’m not like you, not made that way.’
‘Oh, Tim,’ she says, leaning closer again to rest her head on his shoulder and giving his hand a squeeze.
She feels him tense for a second so she moves away.
‘Maybe we just need to put this day behind us. Try and sleep. The police haven’t charged us with anything.
It’s bloody outrageous that they dragged us both in like that.
They had no right to question either of us.
They just don’t have any other suspects.
I don’t think they have a clue what’s going on, to be honest.’
‘Well, that’s not true, is it?’ he says sadly. ‘They found those tools in our apartment.’
‘It’s a fit-up, Tim. Someone’s trying to set us up, deflect attention away from themselves.’
He turns to her then, his eyes the saddest she has ever seen them.
‘Lottie,’ he says with a heavy sigh. ‘It was me. I took those tools. If anyone’s guilty round here, it’s me.’
She blinks, trying to comprehend him.
‘No, Tim. Don’t let them gaslight you like this. They’re trying to wear us down, get us to admit to things we didn’t do. I’ve seen it before, it’s how they work.’
He shakes his head again and then thumps his thigh in exasperation.
‘Listen to me,’ he says, raising his voice. ‘I’m telling the truth. I’m trying to tell you what I did. I need you to know.’
‘Tell me what?’ she says, her voice a whisper, frightened away by the force of his.
‘I took the tools and I hid them in the apartment,’
‘What? But I don’t understand. Why, Tim?’
‘I don’t know, do I? It was a spur of the moment thing.
I just saw them one night as we were coming home.
It was getting dark. You and Josh had headed inside already.
At first, I was just annoyed that we had to walk past all that mess, see dangerous stuff left lying about, things that could hurt Josh.
It made me angry. I’m not completely immune to all this y’know.
’ She makes a gesture of consolation but he holds up his hand to silence her.
‘We’d been arguing. It was ruining the holiday, ruining everything.
And I know you’ve always thought me weak.
Too calm, too relaxed. That I don’t care enough about stuff, like you do. So I took them.’
‘But what were you thinking, Tim? I mean, what were you going to do with them?’
‘Nothing,’ he says, turning to her again and this time she sees something of the old Tim return to his face.
‘You have to know that, Lottie, believe that. I was going to put them back the very next day, maybe make a point to Tobias Woolf. But then the next morning, I realised that what I’d done could actually be seen as trespass, theft.
It was so stupid, I started to panic. You know I have to be squeaky clean in my job. ’
‘Oh Tim,’ she says, ‘I get it, I really do.’
He has tears in his eyes now, is desperately trying to cuff them away.
‘I wanted to show you, prove to you, that I wasn’t a walkover. I love you and support you. I’m so proud of you, Lottie. The way you stand up to people. Really I am. But this last week, it all seemed to be getting so out of hand. I was worried what you might do. In a moment of madness or anger.’
‘So you went ahead and did something yourself,’ she says with a lopsided smile.
He bows his head and tries a smile himself.
‘Yeah, I guess so. Pretty dumb, eh?’
‘No, it’s human, Tim. We’re all just human beings, walking around, making mistakes. Trying to get through life, messing up, failing and trying again to be better.’
He nods, sniffing, wiping his eyes.
‘So, what did the police say then? They let you go?’
‘Yeah, I told them the truth and they seemed to believe me. Let me off with a caution. Thanks to my clean record and good character.’
‘Ha! Unlike mine. That business with Muriel Hadlow will follow me around for the rest of my days, I swear.’
Tim turns to her. ‘You’re a good person, Lottie.
You made a mistake but you meant no harm.
That old woman was a ticking time bomb, her heart could have given up at any moment.
And you weren’t the only one out protesting that day.
There were lots of others, equally as responsible.
You were made a scapegoat because you were the only one to step up. ’
She smiles and squeezes his hand though she knows that a small part of her still struggles to agree with him. She will always feel guilty. It’s a part of who she is now. But she can’t change it, can only move forward and try to do the right thing from now on.
‘God, I’m so tired,’ she says, her voice ragged.
‘I know, this week has been a lot,’ he agrees. ‘But hopefully we’ll be free to leave soon. I don’t think the police will need us for much longer. It sounds like they’re starting to accept that the fire was probably accidental, after all. Something about an electrical fault and possible negligence.’
‘So why did they suspect it was arson in the first place?’
‘Dunno but I’d put money on it being Tobias Woolf’s idea and he pointed the finger at you and me for it, got the police to arrest us. Twat. Ah well, he might have a bit of a mess on his hands now though.’
‘Why? What makes you say that?’ she asks.
Tim takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly as if to steady his nerves.
‘One of the victims of the fire didn’t make it.’
Lottie raises her hands to her face and closes her eyes briefly in horror.
‘Who? Which one?’ she asks through her fingers.
‘Petras. The guy from the building site. Apparently, he and his wife had been using the property as a place to sleep, finding a way in through one of the windows, dossing down in a sleeping bag. They didn’t stand a chance, what with the smoke and falling debris.
’ Lottie gives a soft moan of anguish. ‘I just keep thinking about how kind he was. How great he was with Josh that day. It’s so sad,’ he adds.
She nods in agreement but she cannot speak. Her words stay stoppered in her mouth, her throat a tight fist of emotion.