Chapter 58
Olivia and Marcus are out walking on the beach.
It is still early; deliciously cool and fresh, the wind whipping at their hair, the tide licking at their feet.
She acknowledges to herself how ironic it is, how she had wanted exactly this, had craved it all week.
In fact, she had been fantasising about it for months; an emblem of what their new life down by the coast would be.
But now it is here, she knows it is over already.
‘Was it all just a spiteful bid for revenge on Tobias, then? Was I just a way to get back at your absent father?’ she asks.
She is trying to keep the reproach from her voice – the people-pleaser in her still evident – but she can’t.
She knows she sounds bitter, scorned, wounded – all those clichés and she hates herself for it.
Marcus shakes his head but doesn’t deny it immediately.
He appears to be choosing his words carefully.
‘Oh for God’s sake, Marcus, please. Just be honest with me. You at least owe me that.’
He stops short then, his feet coming to a halt in the wet sandy shale, the sea water seeping into the soles of his shoes.
‘No, of course not. I don’t know. I admit, I did target Tobias when I pitched for the job.
I’d been trying to find him all my life, I see that now.
My mum wouldn’t even talk about him or mention his name when I was growing up.
The first time I saw my own birth certificate and read ‘father unknown’ …
you have no idea how that feels. And then a couple of years ago, it all came out.
She finally told me. Made me promise I wouldn’t try to find him, that no good could come of it, but she must have suspected I would, one day. ’
‘For what it’s worth, I don’t think Tobias ever knew of your existence,’ Olivia says warily. ‘I mean, I don’t know if it would have made any difference but he was totally ignorant.’
Marcus gives a bitter laugh which makes her shrink. She is seeing a whole new side to him now that he has let his guard down. The smooth, unruffled exterior is gone and in its place is a man who at once seems older, more jaded and yet also younger, vulnerable somehow without his protective veneer.
‘Yes, ignorant is the word. Did you know he forced himself on my mum, all those years ago? He raped her. Let’s call it what it is, even though he would never have considered it as such at the time.
And then he got her sacked. Paid her off, told her to find another position somewhere else. Out of sight, out of mind.’
‘Oh my poor darling,’ she says, reaching up a hand to stroke his face before retracting it.
As ever, she is caught on the cusp of emotions; the desire to console her lover and the urge to mother this lost child.
It has never been entirely clear which it is, she admits, the two coalescing in a way that is now unsettling.
‘Don’t,’ he says, turning away from her.
‘So you wanted to punish us all; me, Belle, my whole family? Tell me, how is that fair?’
He turns towards her and his piercing eyes – his father’s eyes, as she will always see them from now on – scour her face.
‘No,’ he protests. ‘At least, not intentionally. I wanted to get to know him, find out for myself. And, honestly, I needed the work. Tobias was so keen to take on an independent architect, someone to be at his beck and call. He saw my impressive CV but didn’t follow up on it.
If he had, he’d have realised that I was let go from my last firm.
’ He laughs awkwardly at this. ‘Ridiculous phrase. Let’s just say I’d allowed a few of my bad habits to get out of control and it was affecting my work. ’
‘And so then you took advantage of me, my daughter, our good natures. What for? Money, opportunity? What did you hope to achieve?’
‘Oh come on,’ he says with another callous laugh. ‘I hardly took advantage of you, Olivia. It was like plucking an overripe fruit. You practically fell into my hands. And as for Bella,’ he says, his face growing serious again. ‘I would never do anything like that.’
‘You might not have been intimate with her but you manipulated her emotionally. She comes across as a tough cookie but she’s just a young girl underneath all that.’
Marcus nods at this, tilts his head in acknowledgement.
‘Okay, okay, I admit there was a bit of power play involved. I’m not proud of that, in hindsight.
But like you, she was practically throwing herself at me.
What does it say about Tobias that both his wife and daughter are so desperate for affection, for attention?
And the way he treats that son of yours.
You were all a bunch of screw-ups waiting to implode. I just helped you along.’
Olivia feels herself to be physically winded.
Like reacting to a punch in the stomach, she reels, mainly because she recognises the truth in his words.
She has always tried to be the best mother she can to her children, to compensate for the fact that Tobias was often working all hours and when he was at home he struggled to know how to be around them.
He’d left the hands-on parenting, the literal caregiving, to her.
They were all a little fearful of him at times, unsure of which way the wind would be blowing when he finally came home.
Tobias merely saw himself as the provider, though now she knows he was just doing what he has always loved; making money out of people and then making some more.
Marcus stops, considering her, and then seems to soften, regretting his former harshness.
‘God, listen to me. I’m turning into everything I despise about that man.
I’m sorry, Olivia. I don’t mean to be so cruel.
I’ve watched you and the way you are with Bella and Drew and I know you’ve tried to do your best. Just like my mum did.
Though the circumstances were wildly different, obviously.
It must be easier when you’re cushioned with money. ’
She winces again but asks: ‘Is she okay? Your mum?’
Marcus shrugs and looks out to sea, the thought of his mother obviously difficult.
‘I try to make sure she’s all right. She’s never wanted to report Tobias for what he did, would never go to the police.
It’s all so long ago and she wants to leave it in the past.’ He waves a hand in the air.
‘Ah, let’s be honest. No one would listen to her now just as they probably wouldn’t have then.
No evidence, her word against his. It would never have even made it to court.
And she feels a sense of shame. Even now.
That’s what makes me so angry. That it’s her that feels this way. Not him.’
Olivia nods. A taste of bile reaches up from her stomach and into her throat. That they are talking about Tobias, her husband, the father of her children. She would never have thought he’d be capable of something like this. And yet …
‘I don’t know what to say, Marcus. I’m sorry. I had no idea.’
‘It’s not for you to apologise. It’s for him to make amends. One day.’
They have begun to wander along the beach again and she knows this is the last time she will talk so frankly with him. Possibly the last time she will ever see him. She hates herself for asking, the small quaver in her voice.
‘And so, you didn’t mean any of it? You never had any intention of living with me, down here, in our beautiful house by the sea?’
Marcus sighs, lowers his head and watches their feet leaving brief impressions in the compacted sand.
‘Oh, I don’t know. Once upon a time maybe. Perhaps it was all part of the thrill, the pleasure of getting one over on Tobias. The idea that he might know what it felt like finally to be on the receiving end. To put it simply, I liked the idea of shafting him in some way.’
She feels herself shrink again from this caustic honesty though she knows she needs to hear it, to know the full truth of it.
Perhaps it will cure her finally of her hopeless romanticism, her long-held naivety.
‘But I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t really have a plan, if I’m honest,’ he continues.
‘Though I thought I did at the time. My head was all over the place and I was living hand to mouth. This situation gave me some money and a purpose and the more I got involved with you and your family, the less I could see the rights from the wrongs. I did want to do a good job for you though, Olivia,’ he says earnestly.
‘I wanted you to have your dream house by the sea, without him. To build something beautiful for you. I’ve always wanted to do that for my mum, but she’s never allowed me to … ’ His words peter out.
Again, Olivia wants to put a hand out, to touch him and comfort him but every gesture feels compromised and inappropriate now. Instead, she forces herself to ask the final question that has been on her lips, that she needs to know the answer to, once and for all.
‘And you didn’t have anything to do with the house fire? None of that was your doing?’
Marcus stops short and spins around to face her head-on.
‘No,’ he insists. ‘Absolutely not. I might have been a bit messed up but I would never have considered that.’ He runs a hand through his hair and briefly she admires his handsome profile one last time.
‘God, Olivia, no. How could you even go there? Yes, I’ve toyed with ways to get my revenge on Tobias, some of which I’m not proud of now, but no. ’
‘Okay, I believe you,’ she says. ‘I just needed to know. For my own peace of mind. In any case, I hear the police are dropping the investigation into arson now. Too many variables, not enough evidence. And any ‘persons of interest’ all have rock-solid alibis from the night of the fireworks. The whole town was out and about.’
Marcus nods in agreement.
‘But that still doesn’t explain who the redhead was who was caught on camera that night. If it wasn’t Bella …?’
‘No,’ says Olivia. ‘And I don’t think it was Mila, Petras’s wife.
Her hair is long but darker. I don’t know, maybe the colour shows up differently on those night vision cameras.
Perhaps she will be able to tell us what happened soon.
Apparently, she’s coming out of her coma, which is a relief. They say she’s going to pull through.’
‘Really? Well, that’s some good news at last. Terrible what happened to her husband though.’
Olivia bows her head. She never got to know them, she acknowledges to herself, never really saw them properly though they were around the town all the time if she had really looked.
She thinks of Mila’s long, dexterous fingers, the way she had shared a cigarette affectionately with Petras, resting her head on his shoulder; their relationship redolent of both young lovers and an old married couple, simultaneously.
What will she do now, without him? If she was vulnerable before, she is now even more so.
‘I have to go,’ says Marcus, not unkindly, as he breaks into her reverie. ‘I can’t afford to stay at the hotel and I’m no longer officially in the employ of Tobias Woolf,’ he adds with a sardonic smile. ‘I need to head back to London, get my finances in order, sort my life out.’
‘I understand,’ she says, bravely attempting to be business-like. ‘Don’t worry, I’ll make sure Tobias covers your bill and pays you what he owes you for the work on the property. It’s the least he can do.’
‘I hope he has the funds,’ he replies wryly. ‘I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s to be sued for compliance. Though knowing him, he’ll wriggle out of it. Probably try to pass the buck on to me.’
‘Surely not,’ she says. ‘I won’t let him. Don’t forget, I’ve got something on him now. I know exactly who he is and I’ll make him pay, one way or another.’
Marcus smiles in surprise, almost with a hint of pride.
‘That’s the spirit.’
‘And, I know it won’t be much, but I would still like you to help me out with my studio space, the gallery interiors.’
‘You intend to go ahead then, stay down here?’
‘Yep,’ she says breathing deeply as the coastal wind blows through her. ‘I do. My future is here, not in London. I’ve made up my mind. I’m asking Tobias for a divorce.’