Chapter Two
I rip my blankets off my body, shoot out of bed, and walk to my main bathroom.
Charlie jumps up to follow me, sensing my mood change.
I take a piss, then start both of my showerheads.
Stepping into the water, I feel the rain's pace help loosen the tension that has built up in my shoulders. Get yourself fucking together, Gavin. Jesus Christ. You fucked up, and now it’s too late.
After I get out of the shower, my mood is still not any better. I walk over to my vanity and grab my moisturizing tattoo balm.
Scooping some into my hand, I start rubbing it along the sides and back of my head, then down to my neck. Then I move down to my fully covered chest. I almost forgot what I looked like without them. I started getting work done right after we graduated.
I put on my black tank top, put my arms through the garage-issued uniform shirt, and put on my work jeans and steel-toed boots.
Once I’m dressed, I go to my sink and start putting my styling product in my hair to help keep my curls.
Before I leave, I grab my cologne. I still wear the same Sandalwood scent.
She used to love it so much that she would always steal my hoodies and spray them, saying it made her feel comfortable.
Charlie follows closely behind me as we make our way downstairs. Opening the screen door, I let him out to do his morning business. I head out to my garage and start my bike. I always like to give it a few minutes to warm up before leaving.
Walking back into the house, I fill Charlie's water and food bowls before calling him back inside. I bought this bike not long after graduation. It became my pride and joy. It’s a beautiful 2014 Road Glide CVO.
It’s all a dark grey color, with blacked-out chrome and a screaming eagle exhaust. My mood has significantly improved, and I pull out of my driveway and head into town.
I don’t care who you are. If wind therapy doesn’t improve your mood, I’m not sure what will.
I pull into the garage parking lot, shutting the bike off as I back it into my assigned parking space. Brenden is already backed into his parking spot next to mine. “Morning, Twinkle toes, you look like shit… what crawled up your ass already this morning? “ Brenden smirked.
“Fuck you, dick head. I woke up and saw something on Facebook this morning, and what I saw gutted me and I’m still not over it,”
“Well, that explains your panties still completely shoved up your ass… What's the bad news, Twinkle?“ he asked me.
“Remember I told you about the girl I’ve been in love with since high school, the one I had to force myself to walk away from?“
“Jackie or something, right?” He asks.
“Juniper,” I grunt.
“Okay, what happened with her that caused this fucking attitude?”
“She got fucking married, dude. ” I say
“Well then, it’s over, my guy. Let’s go out tonight and have a few. Really take your mind off of it? My treat.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows at me.
“I don’t know how much fun I’ll be, but I guess, what else am I going to do?” I walk over to my toolbox and begin preparing my work area for the day.
I’m taking my second shower of the day to wash off the grime and grease.
My mood is still similar to this morning.
But I digress. I’m going out tonight with Brenden so he shuts up.
Maybe it’ll be worth it. As I’m getting ready, I put on a crisp black T-shirt, following my black jeans and black and grey Harley flannel.
I connect the chain from my wallet to the belt loop of my jeans, securing it.
Instinctively, I reach for my sandalwood cologne…
then I stop. Nope, not tonight. I just can’t.
This is why we are going out. Instead, I dig into the back of my bathroom closet and find the gift box I was looking for.
Last year, my mom gifted me Bleu de Chanel for Christmas, but I just stuck to my original cologne.
I need to have a clear mind, which could be just in time for change.
As soon as I spray it, the strange scent is between sweet and spicy.
A spicy, perhaps woody, scent fills my nose.
Nope.. I don’t fucking love it, but I’ll deal with it tonight.
Just tonight. Brenden texts me and lets me know he’s almost here.
So I sent Charlie out to do his business.
A few minutes pass, and I get a text from Brenden letting me know that he’s here.
As I call Charlie in from outside, I make sure he still has food and water before heading out.
On my way out to his Passat, I make sure the house is locked up and ready for me to stumble back home drunk later.
“Hey, Twinkle toes, you ready?“ Brenden teases.
“I’m here, ain’t I?” I ask him with a playful glare.
“Alrighty, Twinkle, let’s gooooo,” he sings.
As we pull out of my driveway, “Specter” by Bad Omens starts playing through the speakers.
This song is pretty new, so I don’t fully know the lyrics.
I lean back against the leather seat. A haunting melody plays out.
“Do you feel loved? I know I don’t“ is echoing in the car.
I hit the skip button so fast it shocks Brenden.
“What the hell, man? I really like that song. What was that for?” He asked, annoyed.
“What’s my problem? No, I don’t feel fucking loved, Brenden, and I don’t want to wallow in it,” I say bitterly. This god-forsaken town only has one decent bar. And of course it’s packed. We walk over to the bar and grab the bartender's attention.
“Let's start with two Irish car bombs,” Brenden tells the bartender, and lays down his card to start a tab. After a few rounds, my mood starts to improve. Brenden practically drags me to the dance floor. We are having fun, but decide we should probably order food before we get too far gone.
We make our way back to the bar and both order a big double cheeseburger and fries.
As we are waiting for our food to come, we both make ourselves at home at the bar.
I am really starting to feel it now. I pull out my phone and start scrolling to pass the time, coming across a picture that Juni posted today.
It’s a selfie with her makeup perfect, hair softly curled, and those red lips that I have been thinking about for years.
God, that makes me sound like a creep… The alcohol continues to make its way through my veins, and I do something pretty stupid.
I heart reacted to her picture. Do I care right now that I did? Nah.. will I later? Probably.
As we finish our meals, we notice two girls walking in.
Their eyes are on us. I wouldn’t say either of them is my type.
But I am a man, and this said man needs some kind of distraction.
They walk over to us before we can even get up.
They are both around 5'5 and blonde. Blondes are not my favorite. I prefer brunettes. Juni has such beautiful, soft brunette hair. Shut the fuck up, Gavin. Stop thinking of Juni and learn this poor girl’s name, who’s been trying to get your attention. Idiot.
“I’m Rachel. It’s nice to meet you. This is my twin sister, Kelly,” she says flirtatiously.
“I’m Brenden, and this poor bastard right here is Gavin. He’s been a little bit of a sad guy, but we are here to make his day better.“
As the night gets longer, things start to heat up between Kelly and Brenden.
To the point, Brenden gives me cash for an Uber to get back home.
What a fucking asshole. Now I’m stuck with this poor girl, with a name I can’t remember.
I try to stay focused as she talks, but it’s not working.
“I’m really sorry.. uh, Rachel was it? Please, I’m not trying to be mean.
I’m just having a moment, and I just need to go home.
And my asshat best friend, who was my ride, took your sister home, so I guess I’m walking or using his cash for an Uber,” I say weakly.
“You poor thing, I’m sorry you're not having a good time. I guess we kinda ruined that, huh? Well, why don’t you say I just drive you home? As a friend, of course. No expectations.” She says with a small smile.
“If it makes me seem less than a dick head, sure. I am really sorry, Rachel.” I say in a sad voice.
“Don’t be sorry, your heart wants what your heart wants. Let’s get you home, big fella.” She starts pushing me toward the exit. I’m not as steady as I wish I were, but with her little bit of help, we made it to her bright yellow VW bug.
“Oh dear god, I don't know if I’m going to fit in there…” I say, pointing to the passenger seat.
“Oh, don't be silly. You’ll be okay.” She helps me get as comfortable in the seat as I can.
My big ass really doesn’t fit in this car at all.
But a free ride is a free ride, I guess.
She puts my address into her GPS and starts driving.
We don’t talk much. Just letting the music play in the background.
As she pulls into my development and pulls into the front of my house, with my truck in the driveway, there isn’t much room.
I turn to Rachel and lean across the center console, and give her a light kiss on the cheek.
At the last second, she turns her head, and my lips meet hers.
I don't pull away right away. A few small, lazy kisses start as she tries to amp up into a little more. I give in for a moment, the alcohol fogging my brain. Until the panic sets in. I’m panicking.
My tattooed hand ends up around her throat, and I softly push her away.
“I am so sorry, Rachel. It’s really not you.
You're beautiful. Truly. It’s me and my stupid heart.
I really need to go inside. Goodnight. Thank you for bringing me home.
Drive safe.” I swiftly unfold myself out of her cramped little car and make it to my front door.
I unlock it with my passcode and finally head inside, causing Charlie to stare at me with my sudden entrance.
“Fuck, what the hell was that? That’s not me.
” Taking off my boots, I head upstairs to my bedroom, Charlie on my heels, and collapse on top of my king-size bed, still made from this morning, and finally just pass the fuck out.