Chapter Thirty-Three
The silence in the truck cab is broken when Juni opens the passenger door. She doesn’t make a sound as she places her hand on the seat, balancing herself as she grabs the handle, hoisting herself up. Taking a deep breath, she settles in the seat, pressing her forehead against the window.
I want to apologize. I shouldn’t have kissed her; my emotions completely took over.
Battling with myself internally, I don’t know what to say.
I shouldn’t have given in, but I needed her to stop fucking talking.
I don’t care about many people, but she’s definitely one of them.
I don’t only care for her; I bleed for her, and I am absolutely in love with her.
It fucking pains me that she doesn’t belong to me.
The drive back to the trailer park isn’t that long. I need to get focused and comprehend a sentence. I need to beg her to forgive me.
A block from the trailer park, I pull into an abandoned parking lot that looks like a former car dealership. I need to focus on her, and I can’t do that while I’m supposed to be driving. Putting the truck into park, I pivot in my seat enough so I’m facing her. “Juni,” I say gruffly.
Without looking at me, she sighs, “Why did you pull in here, Gavin? I thought you were taking me home? I can walk the rest of the way if you want… It’s not far.”
“I pulled in here because I need to talk to you, and I can’t do that while I’m driving Juni.”
“Okay, what do you need to talk to me about?” She’s still avoiding eye contact.
“I’m sorry for coming on to you. I shouldn’t have done that.” Clearing my throat, I continue, “At the time, it was the rational choice to get you to stop talking for a second.”
“Gavin, I’m not upset about that. How could I be? I kissed you yesterday. Who I’m upset with is myself, because not only have I now hurt Peyton because of my relationship with Reece, but I’m also hurting you… and that’s the worst part.”
Reaching over, I cup her cheek, wiping away the tears that started to fall. “You don’t have to worry about hurting me, Juni. Nothing will ever hurt me more than taking the blame for you ending up here. Face it, if I never pushed you away… You probably would have been my wife by now.”
“I’m too scared to leave, Gavin. You have already witnessed what he has done. I can only imagine it’ll get so much worse if I try and leave.”
“Любовь, I can fucking promise you. If you allow me to help you, I’ll get both of us out safely. You would never have to live in fear. I would risk my own life for you.” Emotion starts clogging my voice.
“I don’t want you to risk your life for me, Gavin. If I’m leaving Reece, I’m leaving him because of you… and I can’t do that if you're dead.”
“That mother fucker has nothing on me. I wish to see him try. He would never win. We need to start small, okay? When you get home, pack a go bag. A few days of clothes and toiletries in case shit hits the fan and we can get you out of that trailer as fast as we can, okay?”
“I actually already have one, it’s hidden in the trunk of my car. He thinks it’s a forgotten gym bag that I just left in there.”
“Perfect, as long as you have enough stuff in it for a few days, we will get the rest, okay?”
“I don’t know how well this is going to go, Gavin, but I guess what does it hurt to try?”
An incoming call interrupts us. The CarPlay announces the caller through the speakers. My face scrunches with confusion when I see the name.
“Who is Rachel?” Juni asks, eyeing the screen, her eyebrows drawn up tight.
“Literally no one, I met her at the bar once with Brenden, he was hooking up with her sister for a while. She tried to kiss me when I was drunk off my ass. Well, she did, and I panicked. I haven't been that drunk in years. I was drowning in my own self-pity… because I saw you got married.” Something crosses her face, and I don’t like it.
I can physically already feel her pulling away from me.
“Juni, I haven’t seen or talked to her since that night.
Don’t do that. I’m not him; do not compare him to me. ”
Hurt now crossing her face, she wraps her arms around herself. Turning to the window again, she only has to say it once.
“Just please take me home, Gavin, I’m tired.”
Not wanting to escalate this fight, I straighten in my seat and start the truck.
Why is it that every time I think we're getting somewhere, it’s always five steps back?
I fucking hate Reece so much. Driving out of the parking lot, we don’t speak the rest of the way. The silence is fucking deafening.
Pulling into the trailer park, I barely have the truck stopped as she starts reaching for the door handle.
Mindlessly, I grab her wrist with a loose grip.
“Juni, don’t leave like this, okay?” But that’s exactly what she does.
She rips her hand out of my grip, throws open the door, jumps out, slams the truck door, and makes her way into the trailer.
“Fucking hell.” Anger takes over, and I punch my steering wheel hard enough that my knuckle splits.
Pulling out of the trailer park, a feeling of dread washes over me. So much I almost want to turn back and try to defuse whatever the fuck that was with Juni. Speaking of that, I need to call Rachel back. I don’t want to, but there has to be a reason she's calling me out of the blue.
On the second ring, her overly sweet voice comes through the other line. “Hey Gavin, thanks for calling me back so quickly!”
“What can I help you with, Rachel?” Sighing, I really don’t want to talk to her.
“Kelly wanted me to reach out to you. Brenden suddenly stopped responding to her. Do you have any idea what that’s about?”
I swear to Christ, if I had rolled my eyes any fucking harder, my corneas would have become unattached.
Rubbing my hand down my face, I sigh. “No, Rachel. I have no idea… Last time we talked about anything like that, he was still hooking up with her frequently. He has been sneaking off, but I just assumed it was with Kelly.”
Groaning over the phone, she says, “Nope, it hasn’t been Kelly for the last what… two weeks?”
“Sorry, I can’t help with anything, but I need to go. Take care, Rachel.” Smashing the end call button. That’s interesting. I wonder who he’s frequenting now.
Obviously, for shits and giggles, I call Brenden because now I'm curious. It barely rings before he’s picked up.
“Hey, Twinkle Toes, what’s up?” I can hear him excuse himself and his footsteps, his breathing elevated.
“Mind helping clear something up for me?”
“I mean, I’m no doctor, but I can take a look.”
“You know, some days I don’t understand how we are even friends,” I say with a laugh.
“Hey now, Twinkle, don’t need to hurt my feelings now. But for real...What’s up?”
“Why did you suddenly stop seeing Kelly? I guess she even begged Rachel to call me, to see if I could answer that for them…Oh, and to add to it, Juni was in my truck when she called.”
“Shitttt, I’m sorry, man.”
“That doesn’t answer my question, Brenden.”
“Promise you won’t get mad at me?”
“No promises, but now this conversation is boring me.”
“Uh... It’s Peyton.”
“Иисус Христос…” ‘Jesus Christ…’
“It just kinda started happening not long ago. But it’s not like how you think… think of it more as… cardio therapy?”
“First of all, ew. And second… she must be something if you're making this exclusive?”
“We’re not, though. She’s just always angry, and it benefits me.”
“Okay, then what are you telling me is that you can help me?”
“Help with what, Twinkle toes? I don’t share.”
“You fucking idiot, before the call from Rachel, Juni, and me, made a plan. We are going to move her out of the trailer slowly.”
“Oh, really? What do you need from us?”
“We need to get Juni and Peyton to make up.”
“Have you met Peyton? Unless she wants to, she’s not doing shit.”
“That’s where you come in and help me out.”
“Fine, I’ll see what I can do.”
“Another thing, would you call Kelly? Let the poor girl down easily. I don’t need her sister calling me because of y’all’s bullshit.“
“Yeah, I guess I need to do that, huh?”
“Alright, man, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Bye.”
The drive home seems to drag; I just can’t shake this awful feeling deep in my gut that I can’t place.
Pushing it aside, I make my way inside. Charlie is lying on the couch, snoring, until he hears my footsteps, then he sits up cocking his head at me with a whine.
“Come on, buddy, let’s go potty. Daddy wants to go to sleep.
” Luckily, he doesn’t take long. We start climbing the stairs, taking two at a time.
Deciding I’m going to skip a shower tonight.
I’m sure I’ll be awake by three am anyway, always am.
Pulling my covers back, I slip into the cool sheets. Sleep takes me way too easily.
“GAVIN, Gavin, help me! AHHHHHH, Reece NO… please!” God Damn it. My muscles are locked so tight it’s getting hard to breathe. “GAVIN,” Juni yells for me again, using a guttural scream.
“FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! Why don’t you try and hit me, you little bitch!” My scream slices through my throat, feeling like I’ve swallowed razors. If only I could fucking move. He would never fucking touch her again.
It sounds so fucking real, the sound of pounding flesh.
Blood splattering. All I can do is lie here, trying to tell my body none of this is happening.
I’m not in their trailer, that I’m in my house.
Juni isn’t here yet, but she will be soon.
“Fuckkkk!” I am desperately trying to draw air into my lungs, searching for something familiar in my room.
My eyes lock on the spinning blades of my ceiling fan. My chest loosens by a fraction.
The nightmares have been getting so much worse lately.
I almost can’t bring myself out of them.
They are so fucking exhausting. They only get worse when I’m around her.
I can’t help but think, is this just a torture technique, or is this more of a warning for what’s to come?
I need to figure out how to get them under control before I move Juni into this house.
I’m not going to make her stay here with me for that reason; I’ll offer her the guest room.
She already scares so easily, I’m more than positive the way I’ve been waking up will trigger her.
I refuse to be the reason she gets scared.