Chapter 23
Ihave the whole of my daughter’s netball game to mull over the charity job listing.
Luckily, I’m not scoring the game this week.
Still, I’m trying my hardest to be present, I love watching my kids play sports despite the fact I have never played any team sport since high school or watched it on tv or in person.
There is something incredibly special about cheering on your kid’s sports team during a match.
And what about the kinks? Some I’m familiar with like voyeurism and impact play, others not so much.
I mean, what is a feeding kink? They like to feed you your food?
And shaving, I didn’t know that could be a kink, but then again, I’m guessing anything can be a kink if it’s sexual and unusual?
And doctor, does that mean he likes to pretend to be a doctor or is a doctor?
What kind of perverse things do doctors like to do to you?
I wait like a cat on hot bricks for James to get home. I start to tidy the kitchen and lounge, keeping myself busy whilst I try and think how I’m going to even broach the subject.
I hear the keys in the door and in bounces my son all hot, sweaty and chatting away.
My husband follows, closing the door behind them.
I ask how the game went and listen to a blow-by-blow account of exactly how the game went and the number of goals he scored or helped set up.
Once his full story has unfolded, he makes himself a drink and goes into the rumpus room.
James then gives me his full version of how he thought the game went and who was there and what he thinks of the current stand-in coach.
Once he has finished, he takes a breath and asks how the netball game went, so I give my usual breakdown of, “Yeah she played really well, they won 18-8, it was a good match.” Yes I was there, yes the game was great to watch, no I don’t remember every detail.
I’m not sure if it’s because I never grew up watching sports, but I simply cannot retain all the details to debrief afterwards.
I’m amazed my husband remembers so much, but he has been playing and watching sports his whole life. That’s all I can put it down to.
James eyes me, “What else is going on in that mind of yours, Rose Petal. I can see something else ticking over in there.” I’m not sure if it’s my furious cleaning of the side boards or my jittery movements. Clearly, I’ve given my mood away either way.
“I’ve seen something on the playmate portal I don’t know how to bring up with you,” I say honestly.
“Ok, how about you start from the beginning,” James replies seriously.
“I phoned Sophie before going to the netball game, she wanted me to call. After telling her that I survived and even enjoyed the overnight Pet Play job she told me about the Annual Playmate Charity Job Board. It’s a one-off job board that lists jobs for one date.
All the Clarendon Club members can list a job for that date, and it can be for any level—so Green, Amber and Red.
Apparently, it’s the first year that Red is allowed to be listed.
All jobs that are listed are open to all playmates. ” James nods his head, he’s listening.
“The job fee is doubled, half going to charity, the other half goes to the playmate and she or he donates 20% of their payment too.”
“That sounds like a pretty cool thing to do. The club members must have some serious cash if they can afford to offer a double fee.”
“Yeah I know, right? The charity is split with Beyond Blue and LifeLine this year.”
“So what is it that has got you in a pickle?” James asks, he knows me so well, too well.
“Ok, well, I had a peek before going to netball, it launched today at 10am. It’s open for a week. There was this one job that jumped out to me and now I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s a lot of money. But it’s also a lot of time.”
“What exactly is the job and how much money are they willing to spend?” James asks, he’s curious but he knows judging by the way I haven’t come straight out with it, it’s a lot.
“It’s $250k before being doubled. For 7 days.” My voice trails off and I watch James’ face as he goes through the motions of absorbing what I’ve just said. His eyebrows come together, then his eyes narrow before blowing out a long breath.
“Who are these people who can spend $500k for one week of kinky fuckery?”
“I don’t know,” I reply. “I will probably never know even if I get the job.”
“If, and I mean if, you take this job, you’d walk away with $200k? That is some serious money. I’m not sure what gets me the most, that people can actually afford to do it or whether they think they can pay someone that amount to live out their sick pleasures.”
“I can’t help thinking we might never get this opportunity again. To make such a massive dent in our mortgage, I mean.”
“Yeah but what the heck would you have to do for it?”
I know James would love to pay off more money on our mortgage just like me. It was only seven months ago we were facing having to sell our home and move somewhere more affordable.
“The job is a group of 8 men pooling their money together. They have a range of kinks, some I’ve heard of and others I’ve never heard of.”
“What kind of kinks?”
“Impact play, Anal, Voyeurism, Shaving, Feeding, Doctor, Breeding,” I say counting them off on my fingers.
“Breeding?” James interrupts my list.
“Yeah, like I say—there are some I’ve not ever heard off.”
“I think we need to search them up before we even consider them, don’t you?”
I cringe at his words. I actually would prefer to not look and enjoy the element of surprise. At least then I wouldn’t worry so much. Knowing is much worse in my mind. Knowing means I might not apply.
“Yeah I guess.”
“You’re saying you’d rather not know?”
“To be honest, yes. I don’t want a reason to talk myself out of it.”
“You’re saying you don’t want to be prepared or that you’d rather suffer at their hands because you like the element of surprise.”
“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying I think it will all be ok, I can handle most things that are thrown at me. I want to do it for the money. If I overthink it, I may not be able to go ahead with it and when else will we ever be able to earn a lump sum of $200k?”
“I know what you mean and where you are coming from, but by not being prepared and seeing what you might be in for, you are setting yourself up for some huge and possibly scary surprises. I mean, shaving? That’s weird right?
And we don’t need $200k, we never thought we were ever going to earn that amount, so it’s no loss not getting it.
And Christ, Rosie, you earnt $19k just this week.
We are practically flying right now. You don’t need to do this.
Think of your body, of your mental health. ”
“I have been thinking of them both, I can understand why you’re worried.
If the boot was on the other foot I would be too.
I get it. Who knows what these men will do to me and how I’ll react.
But I’m strong, I have done some fairly eye-opening things recently, I don’t feel like any of them have fazed me at all. ”
“I know you’re strong Rosie, I’m not questioning that. I just don’t want you to bite off more than you can chew. And a week could be filled with all sorts of crazy uncomfortable things.”
“I know. And in some perverted way, I’m ok with it. I want to experience it and see what these kinks even are. None really frighten me, they pique my curiosity more than anything. It’s just the being away from home and the kids for a week which will be the hardest. Being away from you.”
“Can you tap out at any point? Using your safe word?”
“I’m sure I would be able to. Management wouldn’t let this go ahead if they thought any harm would come to the playmate.
The rules are, no lasting injury or marking on their bodies left from the jobs.
They’d do some sort of prorated pay if I had to leave early but I know I’d be able to leave at any time. ”
“I’m not sure that is giving me peace of mind or not. Are you really considering being locked away for 7 days and being 8 men’s plaything 24/7?”
I swallow. Is this going bad? I wonder. “Yes.”
“I don’t know whether you need to get your head read or if this is a good thing,” James muses. My shoulders lower a little, I hadn’t realised how rigid I had been standing until just then.
“I know it sounds kinda bad; I get that. But I’m looking at it as kind of good. It might be the money aspect for sure but I might even enjoy it.”
“If there was one person who could possibly enjoy it, it would be you. I’d put my money on it.” James gives me a weak smile. Is he coming around to the idea?
“I want to know my sexual limits. I want to see what they are.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t know if you’d tell any one of them to stop, I’m not sure you would be prepared to stop at your limits.”
“I think I could. Just because I haven’t with you or any of the jobs doesn’t mean I won’t, it just means nothing so far has pushed me to the edge enough to want to stop.”
James presses his lips together. He’s thinking. I know he never wants to stop me doing anything or worse tell me what to do.
“I don’t want you to make a decision that you might regret, either by doing this job or not doing this job. I want you to consider it. Don’t rush into applying. Sleep on it. Speak to Sophie, see what her advice is and then make a decision. How long is the charity jobs board open for?
“A week.”
“Good, so you have a week to apply.”
“Yes. So you’re saying if I come to my own thought out decision, you will be ok whatever the outcome is?”
“Yes, you have my blessing either way. As long as you believe and trust you are making the right decision for you.”
I feel a spike of excitement flutter through my stomach, but I keep my body still and try not to clap my hands in delight. Keeping my face unmoved is impossible though. I grin back at James. “Thank you.”
“What am I going to do with you, Rose Petal?” he asks playfully.
And then in a serious tone, “I don’t know how I am going to be not knowing or checking in with you for a whole week.
” My stomach lurches. That is going to be hard and painful, not calling and chatting.
Not checking in that we’re going ok. But it’ll be ten times worse for James, he’ll have to continue his day to day life knowing I would be locked away somewhere with eight men.
It’s hardly a girls’ weekend away to not stress about.
“I’m sorry, I hadn’t considered that.”
“Rosie, if you think you can stomach what those men might have in store for you and actually go through with it. The least I can do is stomach the worry and get through it too.”