Chapter 24
Monday I’m on reception for a change and not working in Café Marion as usual with Sophie.
I have to wait the four hours of my shift until I can go to lunch with her.
We meet in the staff room, grab our bags and jump into her Landover to drive to our favourite lunch spot.
After chatting about our weekend and more specifically Sophie’s weekend away with Sam, we get onto the subject I’ve been burning to talk to her about.
“So, the charity jobs. Which job are you going for?” I ask brightly, hoping she is not considering the seven day one like I am. All the jobs are on one day (or at least start on the same day) so we can only be successful in one application.
“I keep looking, there are so many of the usual ones. I was thinking of going for something a bit more outside what I usually try like the Medical Play one. As a backup, I also like the sound of the Shibari job, the guy must be new because I’ve never seen Shibari listed before.”
“What is Shibari? I can guess the Medical Play one, well sort of.”
“It’s rope bondage, more specifically Japanese rope bondage. It’s an artform and I’m keen to be strung up and see how that feels.”
“Sounds interesting. Wonder what he’ll do to you when you can’t move?” I giggle.
“Yeah, I wonder indeed.” Sophie giggles and winks at me.
“Did you see that big job for seven days? I read it a few times, but I don’t think I’m cut out for that long on a job.
I like doing them weekly but to be eight members’ kink toy gives me goosebumps.
Eight guys on one booking, sure I can do that.
Eight guys for seven days. Ouch. The person who applies to that is going to need a strong stomach, don’t you think?
Did you see that one?” Sophie looks up at me as she’s about to tuck into her avocado on toast. My face heats like a furnace in summertime.
My cheeks feel like they’re on fire. I am actually embarrassed to admit it.
But I don’t need to of course, my face gives it away.
“Roxy! You crazy little sex kitten. You are going to apply for it or have you applied already?” she asks as she puts the first forkful of her lunch into her mouth.
I haven’t started on mine. I feel like I am asking for advice on having sex for the first time.
My face heats with a mix of humiliation and embarrassment.
If Sophie is not even considering the job, what must she think of me if I am interested?
“I-I am thinking about applying. For the money. Maybe a little for the experience. And a tiny bit to see if I can do it.”
“Wow Roxy, you are a special kind of mental. Seven whole days? That is a huge amount of time. There is shaving and feeding involved. I know you have read it. I’ve never done either kink job, I don’t know what they’d be like.
” Sophie blinks her fiery gold eyes at me as she brushes an auburn hair from her forehead. “Are you sure about it?”
“I think I am. It’s literally the only job I clicked on and can think about.
It’s so much money, it’s such a huge opportunity for me to earn that kind of money.
Where else would me or James get $200k from a week’s worth of work, heck even a year’s work.
I can’t move away from it. It just keeps doing circles in my brain and it feels such a relief to talk to someone other than James about it. ”
“What does James say about it?”
“He’s as supportive as ever. But also, I know he’s going to worry about me for seven days. That’s the biggest downside for me.”
“Not the shaving?” Sophie exclaims flabbergasted.
“Not the shaving. That doesn’t really bother me. None of the job description really bothers me. Not now I’ve done that overnight Pet Play job. Something has shifted in me. I feel different since I took the job, in fact I feel like a different person entirely since I’ve become a playmate.”
“Well now, I can relate to that. I can’t relate to the family and mortgage situation, but I understand your motivations.
Being a playmate opens your mind and heart for so much more, every day you’re more open to doing things you’d never imagined or even heard of.
I can see the appeal on the money level and also the challenge.
I suspect there is a darker, more depraved Roxy in there somewhere and this job is calling to her. Am I right?”
I blush because I think she is right. Underneath being a mum, wife, small business owner, and employee, being a playmate is peeling me back to my true self, the one I’ve buried so deep, I don’t recognise her and her true feelings.
“You could be right,” I decide to reply. I’m being coy, but she knows me well.
“No could be, I AM right,” she laughs in reply.
“I think being a playmate is unleashing things about me I’ve never let anyone else see in me before, even myself.”
“I bet Sandy knew they were there. She’s got a sixth sense for this kind of thing. I bet she sniffed out your sex kitten desires when hiring you.” Sophie laughs and she takes another mouthful of her lunch.
I start on my toasted bagel. “Do you think I can do it?” I ask earnestly.
“I think you can do whatever you put your mind to. Yes ok I freaked out a little when you told me, but now thinking about it more clearly of all the playmates I know, it would be you I’d choose who could actually go through with it all the way.”
“Why?”
“Because you are no quitter for a start. But also, you have enjoyed—loved, every job you have experienced so far. How many of your friends would be as open as you, do what you have done? Nothing seems to faze you. I know the overnight job concerned you, but you did it, enjoyed it and now you want more. You need more.”
“But is more being greedy?”
“Yes,” she says deadpan, then smiles. “Joking. No, you are not being greedy. You are saying yes to something you desire. You desire this challenge, this experience. You desire being at the mercy of eight men for seven days. That’s the crux of it.”
And now the truth is out in the open. The one I wasn’t sure I could say out loud. I breathe a sigh of relief. “Yes. I can’t believe that is the honest truth of it. Are you judging me?”
“Surely you know me better than that by now. You’re my bestie at Clarendon’s, I know you, I see you. Don’t be ashamed of something you want. Every single Club Member is not ashamed, they’re all asking for what they want and getting it. Why can’t you?”
When Sophie says it like that, it sounds like the most natural thing in the world.
Almost like why would you not want to do this extreme seven day job, not let yourself experience anything you desire?
But society says you can’t. I have conformed to the rules and regulations of being a wife and a school mum for over ten years.
This is the opposite of that life, being a playmate is far away from ‘normal’ but I’ve managed to keep that secret well under wraps.
I know no one is going to find out about me taking this seven day job if I get it.
It’s the owning the decision and admitting to myself I’m more playmate then I let myself believe.
I’m more into this life than I realised.
I crave it now that I have it. I keep wanting more.
More kink experiences, more unknowns, more challenges and more uncovering the true me and my wants from all of this.
A tear tips out the corner of my eye and rolls down my cheek, “Because I didn’t think people like me could.”
“Oh honey, of course you can. You can chase your desires as much as the next guy. You just need to be brave enough to ask for them.”
Another tear rolls down my cheek. Why am I being so emotional?
“But it’s so hard. I don’t want to be judged, least of all by my husband.
What would he think if I said the reason I wanted to go for this job was more from desire than the money?
I couldn’t even admit to James that the idea of someone shaving me turned me on, that impact play is something I’ve watched in porn… ”
“Because it’s not the norm, yes. But what if he had desires he never said to you also from fear of being judged. Without having the conversations to start with, how would either of you know?”
“You’re right. I still can’t get my head around owning up to it. How would I even start such a conversation?”
“Honey, from what you’ve told me about James, he might suspect you’re into more kinks than you’ve ever said or done with him. But he’s learning more about you from every job you take. And what has his reaction been to each of them?”
“He’s been pumped when I’ve returned. He’s been interested in what I’ve done and can barely keep his hands off me.”
“Exactly Roxy, his actions are speaking louder than words too. You’re both into it.
You just haven’t said it. My guess is he’s learning what he likes just like you are.
I bet deep down he’s into some stuff that might not be your thing and vice versa.
But that’s just it. Everyone can have their own kink; doesn’t mean you need to ignore it or bury it because it’s not for your partner.
I would bet every couple has at least one mis-matched kink unless they actually met at a kink club for the same thing or from one of those apps, but even then people aren’t usually into just one thing.
Everyone has their own desires, their own fantasies, and their own limits.
Society just tries to shame us for wanting anything beyond the norm or what is deemed appropriate,” Sophie explains passionately.
“Sophie, having this conversation, you have no idea the feelings I am feeling right now. I didn’t know I needed to have it, but I so did.
I feel like a weight of shame has been lifted off my shoulders.
Shame I’ve carried around my entire adulthood.
” I feel almost on the verge of tears, just at the knowledge that I’m not alone in this.
“I’m so glad to be able to speak to you openly and honestly like this.
It’s taken me a long while to own who I am, I am so happy I can help you too.
Being a playmate is a journey, heck this life is a journey.
It’s just nice to finally embrace our true selves and be open with what our true sexual desires are.
We are in 2025, not 1925, so to heck with what society says, we should know and own our sexual desires. ”
I want to stand up and throw my arms around Sophie and hug her tight. But instead, I tame down my gratitude for now by reaching out my hand and squeezing hers. “Thank you, Sophie.”
“So, you’ll go for the seven-day charity job?”
“I will apply for the charity job. I don’t know if I’ll get it, but I feel so much lighter about owning the decision. I wonder how many playmates will also apply for it?”
“Maybe a couple, but in all honesty, I doubt most people would want to be cooped up for a whole week. Only the true deviants are into being a captive.” She smiles at me wickedly.
“So, I’ve got a chance then!”
“I’d say you’re in with more than a chance! You get applying, girl. Applications close on Friday. We’ll find out on Saturday.”
“Eeek, what do I even say?”
“Just be yourself. That is after all, all you can be.” Sophie looks at her watch, “It’s nearly one—you have your next job to be getting to now I think?”
I roll my eyes. My little business is becoming more of a bane then of an escape, something I used to look forward to and now I simply don’t.
We both stand and walk back to Sophie’s car, before I open the door I give her a big hug. It’s hard meeting your kind of people in adulthood so I thank my blessings to have found Sophie. “Thank you again for everything. All your words of wisdom, support and making everything I want feel ok.”
“Roxy my darling, you don’t need to thank me. It’s a pleasure to support you. You are no longer just my buddy at Clarendon’s, you are one of my most favourite people.”
I smile into her jasmine smelling auburn hair. How did I get so lucky, I think to myself.
Before I can do any of my own actual business work and start packing orders, I decide to apply for the charity job and then put it out of my mind.
Dear Members x Eight,
I would like to put myself forward for your seven days of extreme kink and play.
It’s taken a bit of soul searching to get to this point, but the honest truth is, I think I’d be the perfect captive for you.
I’m a new-ish playmate and haven’t experienced a wide range of kinks and jobs, but the ones I have, I have gone in with an open mind and submitted wholly to the experience.
I enjoy a challenge and more so the element of surprise.
I have not experienced many of your listed kinks but am interested and willing to try them and be your personal kink toy.
I crave to be at your mercy, would you do me the pleasure of making me yours?
Yours, Roxy
The week has flown by, I’ve not taken any playmates jobs on account that I took two last week and I’m kind of hoping I get the Charity one so I haven’t looked at the jobs boards this week.
When I got home on Monday evening, I told James about my discussion with Sophie and that was the perfect intro into a big heart to heart discussion about our desires.
I admitted to James about actually wanting to be used and abused by eight men and he admitted he wanted to brand me and own me.
He also mentioned he thinks he’s into cuckolding and wants to actually watch someone else fuck me.
I knew he liked to hear about what other men did to me, I hadn’t realised he might even like to watch.
So the conversation was quite enlightening both by finding out more about each other and also unloading the burden and weight of keeping my true feelings and desires from him. It has felt quite freeing all week.
Today is Saturday and I check the playmate portal ten thousand times until I promise myself I’ll only refresh one last time before closing my laptop and heading to my daughter’s netball game. And there is the one word I’ve been waiting for:
ACCEPTED