Chapter 3
Once I was returned to my room and my escort left, I immediately started on the second portion of my plan.
Picking up the book Leif demanded I read to us both, I began reading aloud to myself.
Although I was still unclear exactly how the Seid magic worked (and I resolved to find out more later), I knew the words in the book had to be read aloud—silent reading didn’t transfer the magic from the book to the person.
The magic was in the sound of the words themselves.
I read to myself, page by page, pausing every so often to ensure there were no aural indications of anyone approaching and keeping my voice low enough that the guard stationed outside of the door wouldn’t receive the magic.
Once I finished one page, back and front, I would push my nail through one of the symbols, effectively eliminating it, so the next time I read, I would read the spell incompletely.
I was doing this all on a hunch, and the hunch was that the book had to be read in the exact order for the magic to work. If my hunch was correct, I was effectively rendering the magic useless.
I grimaced as I pushed my nail through the parchment. I was ruining a part of my family’s history, something that belonged to the coven I was born into. But I couldn’t take the risk that this book did as Leif said, even if I was reasonably certain he was wrong.
I didn’t want to provide Leif with any more magic—no matter what magic it was.
After about twenty pages, I heard the sound of talking in the sitting room, outside the bedroom door. As discreetly as possible, I bent the corner of the parchment before unbending it again—so I would know where to start the next day.
Leif pushed open the door, a smile on his face when he noticed me in bed. It didn’t escape my notice the way his eyes scoured the whole room, searching for something, before he began to undress.
As if there were someone in the shadows waiting to attack.
“Are you feeling better, my heart?” His back was to me, the words muffled as he pulled his shirt over his blond hair.
I forced a smile. “I am. I thought we could start reading this book tonight?” I held up the tome I’d spent my afternoon destroying.
“I think that’s an excellent idea.” He beamed as he finished undressing. He climbed into bed next to me, pulling the plush red blanket over both of our legs.
While his chiseled chest had once made me swoon, I fought off a grimace now, my thoughts consumed by a certain dark-haired general.
A dark-haired general who still hadn’t come to my rescue.
As soon as he settled, I began to read, my thoughts drifting to another time, another place.
Another man.
I was back in the forest of Ralheim, Otho sitting across from me on a rock, dressed in his military uniform.
I glanced around, wondering why my mind had chosen this memory to take me back to. Maybe it was because I’d been thinking of Otho as I’d drifted off to sleep.
It was the night I’d entered the forest as Milo and emerged as Runa.
The night my old life ended, and the new one began.
“Runa.”
My gaze snapped to Otho, trying to remember if he’d said my name that night. I didn’t think so, but it had been so long ago—
“Are you hurt?”
I tilted my head to the side. That’s not how this memory went.
I squinted, trying to get a better look at the details of the dream.
Now that I peered at the forest more closely, I noticed it wasn’t the one outside of Ralheim.
No, it was more vibrant, with hanging vines stretching between the trees and colorful wildflowers I didn’t recognize growing at the base of the wide-stumped trees.
There was moss on one side of the tree stumps—this forest received more rain than Ralheim.
Where was I?
“Please, talk to me.” His voice was gravely, like he was fighting back tears. My gaze returned to him. It looked like he fought to restrain himself from reaching for me.
I frowned. This dream was growing weirder by the moment, but I indulged Dream Otho. Who, now that I thought about it, didn’t quite look like the Otho I remembered. Maybe I was losing my mind.
“I’m okay.”
“You haven’t moved from the keep in a fortnight.”
Okay, now this was getting really strange. “I know. Leif hasn’t allowed me to go anywhere,” I confessed, knowing this was definitely not how this memory went.
“Can you feel me?” Otho asked, his gray eyes filled with concern as he gazed at where I stood.
“What are you talking about?” I started glancing around the forest, desperate to figure out what type of tricks my mind was playing on me and why.
“Weighteds can always feel the location of the other. Some have to meditate to find the location of theirs, but with you, I’m constantly aware. I know where you are every moment of every day. I can feel it, almost like you’re a phantom fifth limb.”
I remembered hearing that before, but I’d never considered the power going both ways.
“I haven’t tried,” I admitted with a sigh, still unsure why I was having such a lucid conversation in my dreams. I rarely dreamed, and when I did, they were always memories, mostly of the Purge, when I’d become an orphan.
But occasionally I dreamed of my captivity by Adis, or of my brother when we were young, but never anything like this.
Dream Otho stood from where he sat and walked toward me. I frowned as I took in his appearance, noticing he had dark circles under his eyes and appeared much thinner than when I’d last seen him, his uniform hanging more loosely from his tall frame.
“I guess my memory is making you look like I feel,” I wondered out loud.
Otho shook his head as he stopped in front of me. He reached for my hand, but stopped just before he touched me. “This is how I look, Runa. I’m worried sick about you.”
A ripple of shock flowed through me, accompanied by warmth at his words. “Wait, this isn’t a dream?”
Otho shook his head. “We are having a mental conversation in a dream space. I’ve been trying to reach you, but I think you naturally close your mind off when you sleep. This was the first night I was able to call you here.”
I narrowed my eyes, looking to my left and right. The real Otho hated magic. “You expect me to believe that?”
“I do.”
I shook my head. “Why are we in the forest then? This is obviously a trick of my mind.”
Otho chuckled. “I don’t know why we are seeing forest—maybe that’s merely what your mind likes to imagine this place as. But I promise it’s me, Runa. Otho.”
I was still in disbelief. “You hate magic.”
“This isn’t magic,” he clarified. “This is an aspect of the world—the metaphysical, I believe it’s called. I can’t explain why, but this place . . . it exists for anyone who wishes to reach it, even those who aren’t Seid.”
I bit my lip, unsure. “Fine, tell me something my subconscious wouldn’t know.” He opened his mouth, but before he could speak, I added, “And make it good. I’ve got a good imagination, so it has to be something I couldn’t imagine either.”
He frowned, tapping his chin with his pointer finger. “I’m not in Heimland anymore.”
My eyes widened. “Wh-what?” I struggled to swallow. I wanted to ask where he was, but I knew with my limited geographical knowledge, I wouldn’t know of it either. I hadn’t even known about Salheim until the last year.
“That’s why I asked if you could feel where I was.”
My heart clenched, and my mouth dried. I’d assumed Otho would come for me and that he was currently thinking up a plan, but if he wasn’t even in Heimland . . .
“I know that look.” He breathed, running a hand through his long dark hair.
“I want to touch you, but I’m worried what that will do to the mental connection.
But, Runa, please, listen to me.” My eyes snapped up to his, and I could feel my breathing rate increase.
If this was a dream, it truly was the oddest one I’d ever had.
“I’m coming back for you, I promise. I had to go for reinforcements. We lost too many…”
I looked away from him, drawing my knees to my chest, attempting to force back the tears that had brewed. Leif had mentioned Ralheim was winning, so why did Otho need reinforcements?
“Runa, you need to stay strong in Malheim a little longer. As soon as my plan is complete, I’ll find a way to send you word.”
My head moved back and forth. “I won’t survive here much longer, Otho.”
“You have to,” he pleaded. “My plan needs a little more time.”
I frowned but begrudgingly looked at Dream Otho once more. “But Friar says she also has a plan?”
I didn’t miss the surprise that flickered across his features, and I wondered if my empathy magic also worked in this non-dream dream. “I’m sure our plans will align.”
It was a lie. I could tell by the way Otho’s chin twitched.
He’d had no information on Friar’s plan.
I wanted to confront him, but I still wasn’t sure what exactly this was.
Maybe I was so heartbroken that this was nothing more than a hallucination.
Maybe I had a fever. I was confused. I missed Otho so much, but this .
. . dream . . . didn’t comfort me in the way it should have.
“I miss you, Runa,” Otho whispered. “Please look at me.”
I hadn’t realized that I’d closed my eyes. I opened them to see his gaze also shining with tears.
“I will come for you as soon as I can, I promise.” He’d barely finished saying the words before he faded from view, leaving me in the unnatural dream woods by myself.
I knew I should feel relief that Otho was coming for me. I knew I should be ecstatic that I had actually seen him after fortnights of nothing.
But I couldn’t accept the fact that he hadn’t come to rescue me already.
Which meant I needed to continue my plan to rescue myself.