Chapter 8 Ashivire
Ashivire
“Do you miss me, my Queen?” Piercing emerald eyes gleamed with wicked delight, his full lips tugging into a delighted smile.
Against my better judgment, I reached for him.
Even after he broke my heart, I craved his touch.
But like every time I dreamed, he slipped between my fingers, disappearing into a plume of smoke. His eyes brightened as his body dissipated into the shadows.
The Serpent King vanished from sight, just like he did after our bargain was completed . . .
Iwoke with a gasp from the same vision that plagued me for the last seventy-five years. Wiping the sweat gathered atop my brow, I flopped back onto my pillows. The constant ticking of the clock pulled my focus, but I already knew what time it was before I glanced at it.
3 A.M.
He visited my dreams like clockwork every night at this hour.
Glancing at the silk pillows, I could almost see his looming figure lying beside me. I could nearly smell the intoxicating blend of scents that constantly clung to him—amber and musk, mixed with the most alluring hint of smoke.
Wetness spilled down my cheeks as I felt myself cry again for the second time in decades.
I cried for the life I dreamed of and never got the chance to experience.
I cried because I hated the man who broke my heart, leaving me to pick up the pieces all on my own.
I fell back asleep with tears spilling down my cheeks and thoughts of those emerald eyes that still haunted me after all these years.
Fine grains of black sand whipped against the window pane, encircling my carriage in darkness.
A scoff escaped me at the irony that this was the way Ashivire greeted me after all this time, yet it was only fitting that darkness surrounded me while we crossed the border into my homelands—darkness and I had become great friends in these lands, after all.
A warm touch against my leg anchored me back to the carriage and away from the past. Just as I had decreed, we left for Ashivire at first light. My bodyguard and I shared one carriage, while my guards led the way ahead in another. Reena and a few servants followed behind us in a separate carriage.
Landon leaned toward me, and I could tell by the glint in his eyes what he was about to suggest.
“As much as this sandstorm sucks, we could pass the time in a more pleasurable way if you please, my Queen.” His finger trailed up the slit in my gown, creeping closer to what he desired.
I swatted his hand away, looking down my nose at him. “Unless you have more intel to share, keep your hands to yourself.”
Landon’s lips twitched with amusement, but he raised his hands in surrender. Other men would burn with humiliation at such a rejection, but my bodyguard thrived on the chase.
We both glanced out the window, the grains of sand flicking against the glass, the only sound filling the growing silence between us.
It was still hard to believe the black sand once used to be a smooth, tan shade, marveled at by many who came from far and wide to see the dunes and creeks lining the mountainside.
What was once a hidden oasis was now a desolate desert of destruction and ash.
I dug my fingers into the plush, blood-red seat of the carriage as I tried my best to keep my mind from wandering to the past. Yet, my attempts were futile, for I was pelted by the memories like the sand pelting against my carriage.
The tower.
A metal door.
Nine locks.
My mother’s footsteps walking away.
I was never once allowed to feel the sun kiss my cheeks or dance in the creek beds flowing at the base of the mountain.
No, I spent my mortal life in Ashivire surrounded by darkness, so it wasn’t the sandstorm rattling the carriage that scared me, but the memories that came rushing back.
My eyes burned as I worked to swallow emotion begging for release.
I’d slit my own throat before crying two days in a row.
I let the memories of the past fade as I tore my gaze from the window. Much to my surprise, Landon wasn’t staring at the sandstorm. Instead, he was watching me with that look he gave me the other night, as if I were a puzzle he desperately wanted to solve.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “What?”
He narrowed his eyes right back. “What happened in your room the other night?”
“Which part? The part where you were on your knees for me or the part where I made you crawl?” My lips tipped into a wicked smile as I adjusted my dress and crossed my legs.
Landon crossed his arms over his chest, and the way his muscles strained beneath his cotton midnight-blue shirt stole my focus . . . apparently, for long enough that my bodyguard felt the need to clear his throat to capture my attention once again.
“Seera, you know what I am talking about. Tell me what happened when you were writhing on your bedroom floor, unable to breathe.” No amusement shone in his eyes. Instead, a heavy wrinkle dipped between his brows.
“Talking about our feelings was not a part of our agreement.” I picked at my nails, surveying him through lowered lashes.
“It is when it is imperative for me to be aware of. Shall I remind you, I am your bodyguard. If something is going on with your overall well-being, I need to know so I can prepare on how to better protect you.”
Landon’s overprotectiveness was insufferable at times, causing me to groan and shift my gaze back to the sand still drumming against the window.
“I can protect myself.”
“Why am I here then?” His tone was sharper than usual, making me turn back to him.
There was something peculiar shining in his eyes, so I sniffed the air to better detect what emotion my bodyguard was feeling—the overwhelming smell of night-blooming jasmine made my nose itchy.
Landon was hurt over my crass comment.
Silence stretched between us while I struggled to find the right words to correct my mishap.
Making people feel better was not my specialty, and my bodyguard’s eyes burning straight into me and through the darkness shrouding the carriage was not helping.
I lifted my eyes to the black steel ceiling of the enclosed space, in an effort to buy myself time on what to say to appease Landon.
Since the assassination attempt, I upgraded my carriages from a simple canvas material to military-grade steel.
The traitor who tried to kill me with a flaming arrow got what was coming to him for striving to assassinate the queen: three weeks in my dungeons.
I enjoyed taking my time carving up every piece of the hateful man before feeding what was left of him to the beasts in the Pit.
The creaking of the carriage bench pierced the silence, breaking my thoughts of bloodshed to see Landon fitfully shifting back and forth across from me.
Just to gather a moment of peace from his restlessness, I forced myself to attempt to say something nice.
“Landon, you are here for an extra level of protection. Although my people can’t kill me with ordinary weapons, it is annoying nonetheless to be speared by a flaming arrow.
” Landon rolled his eyes, but began to relax a little as I leaned closer.
“And your intel as my secret spymaster has proven to be invaluable.”
His tense shoulders dropped an inch with the small bits of reassurance, but there were still remnants of hurt lingering in his eyes. Something in my chest cracked at the fact I was the one who dimmed his usually beautiful, bright eyes.
“I may not be able to show you my appreciation as one normally would, but I notice your efforts and all you do for me.” I forced a coy smile to my lips. “And I don’t let just anyone between my legs . . . I think that says enough of how I feel about you.”
Landon’s lips parted, his eyes widening at the prospect of me aimed to make him feel better. My lips pulled into a frown as the realization hit me at the same time.
I’ve never cared about the feelings of those I hurt before, so why did I now?
“All clear!” one of my guards yelled, and a moment later, our carriage lurched forward, causing me to jolt off the seat.
Strong arms gripped mine, stopping me from smashing my face into the bench.
I glanced up and was met with eyes as beautiful as a clear desert sky.
“And apparently you are here to save me from breaking my nose on my carriage bench.” We were close enough that I could feel his breath slip against my lips.
“I’ll always save you, my Queen.” His lips brushed mine as he spoke, and heat flared within me when his eyes dipped to my lips.
How odd, for I felt this spark low in my gut . . . I usually felt my desire for Landon solely right between my legs.
Very odd indeed.
Before I could do something I’d later regret, Landon pulled away first, helping me back onto my side of the carriage. I sighed at the instant loss of his warm breath against my lips, and at my body’s strange reaction to the moment that just transpired between us.
With a shake of my head, I looked out the window in hopes of concealing my frustration.
Stolen kisses were not a part of our agreement, and it would do us no good to get distracted right now.
I was not in Ashivire for a romantic getaway—I was here to slaughter some rebels.
Two happy hisses filled the air, and I felt like I could breathe a little easier as Ember and Dante spiraled down my arms. They must have woken from the sliver of sunlight piercing through the window, and the sight of them extending their heads towards the warmth made the corners of my lips twitch into a small smile.
I swore it looked like Ember was smiling up at the sun, the sight was so enduring I felt something spread inside that empty void in my chest—right where my soul used to be.
My hand flew to my sternum, my breath coming in short pants at the foreign feeling.
“Seera, are you alright?” Landon braced a hand against my knee.
I squeezed my eyes tightly shut. “Fine—I’m fine.” I forced the words out between sharp rasps as I forced myself to breathe through the pain now piercing through me.