Tobias
Ihadn’t gotten far. Despite the need to get away from her—and from the flood of emotions that had come rushing back all at once—I wouldn’t let my feelings compromise her safety.
Staying away from her was an exercise in futility when set against the almost primal urge to protect her.
So I paced outside that iron door, wishing I could hear her through it, even as I shoved that kiss into a cell and chained my longing for her beside it.
There was something unspeakably precious about what we had.
The friendship we built long ago had literally come back to life.
I couldn’t risk upsetting it, or worse, having her only to lose her when she saw how damaged I truly was.
Even if this dance I was doing—trying to be around her without letting her see too much—threatened to destroy me, along with our fragile equilibrium.
By the time she finished for the night, I was numb and so cut off from the turmoil I had locked away that I barely felt like a person anymore.
Quinn’s obvious disappointment barely stung as she silently took in my detachment before walking away.
I trailed after her, staying alert for threats until we reached her room.
She paused in the doorway, not looking back at me. “And the meetup?”
I nearly tripped over my own feet. “The others should be back soon, let’s decide what to do together. I don’t want to risk sending a message that might get intercepted.”
The muscles in her back tensed above the curve of her neckline. Her loud sigh echoed in my ears as she shut the door in my face.
It didn’t take long for the others to return, their voices echoing on the other side of my door. I waited for the sound of Quinn’s door opening before leaving my room. Quinn didn’t look at me as we joined the others for dinner on the outdoor terrace.
Tonight’s spread looked delicious. The table was covered in a variety of fresh fish and aromatic yellow rice, along with a mango salsa I immediately knew Quinn would love. Fried plantains sat next to a basket of flat bread covered in garlic.
Too bad no one was eating it.
Rivan paced back and forth, his long strides eating up the balcony. “If you hadn’t decided to intervene, we’d have them in custody already.”
Pari threw up her hands. “I was trying to help—”
He rounded on her, his lavender eyes flashing. “I don’t need your help.”
“Rivan,” Yael chided. “We’re all trying—”
“And yet, without me, you would’ve been stabbed in the back,” Pari gritted out. Her cheeks were flushed, the scar that slashed across her cheekbone stark in contrast. “You’re welcome, by the way.”
Rivan turned away, his braids whipping over his shoulder with the force of it.
I didn’t think I had ever seen him so frustrated, let alone outwardly rude.
He was generally the epitome of calm. Pari was more outspoken but rarely this worked up—like she was teetering on the edge of control.
The way they glared at each other told me there was something I was missing.
Quinn raised an eyebrow at me, looking similarly taken aback before seeming to remember she wasn’t acknowledging my presence. My chest panged, even as I reminded myself this was for the best.
It wasn’t pride…it was fear. The aversion to being hurt. Of giving her some part of me that she could break when I was already so broken, despite her attempts to convince me otherwise.
It was better for both of us, in the end.
I knew I couldn’t be the person she needed, even if I wanted to be.
When this was over, Quinn would return to Soleara where she was safe, and I would no longer have a good excuse to be around her.
She would go back to her life, and I would lock myself behind the walls I built before she breached them.
With time, I could go back to pretending my solitude was a choice and not a shield.
I had no doubt she would find someone better than me. Light seared my palms, though the pain felt far away.
Yael looked vaguely amused as she walked between Rivan and Pari, despite the shadows under her eyes. “If you two don’t knock whatever this is off, I’m going to lock you in a room together until you figure it out. We don’t have time to fight with each other, not when we have enemies to face.”
Rivan’s mouth opened in outrage while Pari made a sputter of indignation.
“This is the second time we’ve had him only for him to disappear,” Rivan grumbled.
“There has to be a mole among Queen Sariyah’s guards,” Pari said tightly. “There’s no way Silvius keeps getting away right before we arrive without someone warning him ahead of time. We need to find a way to keep our next lead to ourselves.”
Rivan was already shaking his head. “It would look suspicious after Queen Sariyah integrated our rangers into their ranks for the search. I don’t trust her people not to leak our intel to Silvius either, but if we remove ours for a side mission, it might cause a diplomatic incident we can’t afford right now. Not to mention tip them off.”
“I think Eva’s life trumps diplomacy—” Pari said sharply.
“If you think I’m not thinking of her—” Rivan cut in, talking over her.
Quinn loudly cleared her throat, silencing them both. “This seems like a good time to bring up some time sensitive intelligence.” She lifted her chin, smugly adding, “I may have done my own reconnaissance earlier.”
Rivan gave me an affronted look. “I take it that no one decided to listen to my warnings today.”
“We intercepted a message with a location and a time from one of Silvius’s followers,” I said, ignoring him.
After all, I already blamed myself enough for the both of us.
“We don’t know who the bearer was meant to meet with, but given that he tried to steal Quinn’s blood, it’s safe to say they’re working for Silvius. ”
Nevermind the syringe meant for me.
The room seemed to freeze at the news, then ignite with the flurry of voices asking questions.
“We’re fine,” Quinn exclaimed, cutting them all off.
Rivan didn’t look convinced. “And the person who tried to steal your blood?”
“No longer breathing,” I said grimly. “But that’s not what we need to discuss.”
I pulled the folded piece of paper from my pocket, laying the crude map on the table. There was one word scrawled along the top: Seawater.
Yael leaned over it. “That bar’s not far from the Enclave. When’s this meetup?”
“Tonight,” I said shortly. “Before last call. Which doesn’t give us much time.”
Pari looked thoughtful. “If there’s a mole among the guard, they’ll be watching us.”
I didn’t like the expression on Quinn’s face. I knew that look—it meant she had a plan.
“We could go.” Quinn gestured between us, and I jerked to attention.
“The rest of you just need to act like all is usual so the mole won’t suspect anything.
If there’s a mole among the healers, they won’t know to follow us based on our pattern.
With the way we’ve been trading between the lab and sleep, no one will expect Tobias and me to be there… let alone Silvius.”
“No, he’s just trying to steal your blood in order to infect you,” I drawled. “Which is why you’re not going anywhere near that place.”
“Don’t tell me what I can and cannot do, Maris,” Quinn said coldly.
I matched her tone. “I’m serious, Sagray.”
“I know,” she said so snidely I reared back. “You’re always serious.”
“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”
Quinn shrugged. “You didn’t used to be.”
My response caught in my throat.
Quinn turned to the others. “We’ll keep our hoods up and find a shadowy corner. We just need to be careful not to be seen leaving the Enclave. You three”—she gestured at Rivan, Yael, and Pari—“can make a scene to distract anyone who might follow us.”
I hated the thought of leaving this place to go outdoors at all. It had cost me when I had followed Quinn into the city earlier, even if my fear for her outweighed the fear of what I was doing.
But I hated the thought of Quinn going without me more.
“The two of you are already his targets,” Yael argued, though she sounded more contemplative than concerned—likely swayed by the necessity of Quinn’s plan. “You’ll need to be on your guard.”
With Quinn’s blood magic, she would be able to tell if someone was following us. This plan wasn’t quite as rash as it seemed—not that I could explain that to Rivan or Yael. Pari, however, looked like she had come to the same conclusion.
“We’re all his targets,” Pari countered. “And Quinn’s right. They’ll be watching us three, but they won’t expect Tobias and Quinn to leave the castle, especially not after their outing earlier. If we want this to succeed, then they’re our best shot.”
Quinn nodded. My attention fixed on the curl that had escaped her braid as it bounced against her cheek like a caress.
“We won’t fight anyone if we can help it,” Quinn said, her tone conciliatory. “We’ll just follow them and report back.”
It wouldn’t be without risk, especially if they caught onto their tail. But I knew that look in Quinn’s eyes: pure stubbornness mixed with determination. Arguing with her would only end up with me being left behind—which wasn’t a fucking option. Just the thought of it made my throat close.
Yael bit her lip. “It could work. They won’t expect you to leave the Enclave for the night, and you can wear healers’ robes, so you don’t look out of place.”
Rivan looked thoughtful. “And your research?”
“We can’t do anything overnight anyway,” I said reluctantly. The thought of putting Quinn in danger again when she had already been attacked today was the last thing I wanted. But if I didn’t play along, I knew Quinn would find someone else to bring along. “Recon only?”
Pari nodded. “Send a message once you identify them. Follow but don’t engage.”
“I could go with Yael or Pari if we’re staying hooded,” Quinn mused. “If we’re relying on a diversion anyways…”
“No,” I growled. Like hell was she going anywhere without me to protect her, whether or not it meant venturing outside for a second time today.
I could bear it if it meant staying by her side.
Quinn bristled, turning to glare at me. I swore I saw Pari and Yael exchange a smirk out of the corner of my eye.
“We need all three of you at the Enclave to make it seem like there’s nothing going on if we want this to work,” I said quickly.
“If Silvius has a mole among the guard, we don’t want to give them a reason to suspect anything—and if Yael or Pari go missing, they will. You and I will be far less obvious.”
It was good reasoning, but it wasn’t the real reason.
I would keep her safe or die trying. And I didn’t trust that job to anyone but myself.
Quinn’s head tilted in the same way it did when she was trying to figure out a problem in the lab. Those amber eyes studied me far too intently. I hastily looked away, painstakingly forcing my fear for her back into its cell along with everything else.
The bars trembled so violently I thought they might tear off their hinges.
“Fine,” Quinn murmured. “We’ll leave when it’s darker to get a sense of the layout.”
I nodded, keeping my face detached as I silently tried to prepare myself. Not only would she likely be in danger, but I had willingly offered to venture outside. Quinn’s lips formed a tight line as she saw the look on my face—or rather, the lack of it.
Didn’t she realize that mask was the only thing holding me together?
With a deep sigh, Quinn asked Yael. “Any update from Marin? How’s Eva?”
“Marin says she’s the same,” Yael replied with an unusual trace of melancholy.
“As is Bash. No change, not for the better or the worse…but I guess that’s the best we can hope for.
” It was a struggle to think about Eva being stuck in that statis, though she was right—it was far better than the alternative.
“I’ve been sending her daily updates along with yours.
Marin promised she wouldn’t let anything happen to them in the meantime.
” A hint of a smile lifted her lips. “She moved a cot into their room and sleeps with both daggers.”
Pari raised an eyebrow. “How many does she normally sleep with?”
That hint turned into a full grin. “Just the one under her pillow.” She shrugged. “A compromise. The other sits within reach on her nightstand.”
Quinn smiled, and I found myself incapable of looking away. I had kissed those perfect lips today. I had wanted to do much more than that before I came to my senses and pushed her away. It had been a herculean effort not to give in to that desire and take her exactly how I wanted to.
“Tobias?”
It took a second to realize Pari was talking to me, my name hesitant. Quinn’s smile melted away as she found me looking at her. It was an effort not to flinch at the echo of hurt in her eyes.
I slid my hands into my pockets. “Yes?”
“It might be worth getting some dinner in before you go.” She gestured at the food spread across the table, her lips twitching as she fought her smile. “Especially if you’re going to get a drink to keep your cover.”
I fixed her with a glare. “Are you calling your king a lightweight, Pari?”
It had been a long time since I had been on the receiving end of one of Pari’s laughs. “If the shoe fits, Your Majesty.”