Quinn
Itore off my blood splattered clothes, then quickly showered in my hurry to return to work.
My chest felt tight at the time wasted in the lab, despite knowing I had been successful.
No matter how many times I scrubbed my hands and face they still didn’t feel clean.
The sense of that blood staining me lingered as I slipped out of our rooms and hurried to the lab without Tobias.
No doubt he had more blood to wash off than me.
I couldn’t stop replaying the detachment in Tobias’s face while he tortured my assailant as I shut myself in the lab. Nor could I forget the way Thibault’s heartbeat had slowed to a stop as my magics reached for him—both useless in the end.
Closing my eyes, I made myself focus on that mental list. What I could hear, what I could see, what I could touch, what I could smell…by the time I reached taste, it felt like I could breathe again.
Even so, it felt good to get my mind off everything that happened as I got to work determining what was in the syringe.
It didn’t take long to confirm what I suspected: That this virus was the same as Eva’s except keyed to Tobias’s blood.
My magic alone had been able to sense the similarities without molecular confirmation.
This virus had been created to enslave him, to make him malleable after all those years in captivity hadn’t managed to break him.
My hand shook, not with fear but with a rage so primal my vision turned red, and I set the vial down on the counter.
Silvius may be after me, but Tobias was in more danger.
I was looking at incontrovertible proof that Silvius was not only in possession of Tobias’s blood but that he carried a grudge he intended to act on.
At least today’s risk had been worth it.
Thibault may not have led us directly to Silvius, but the meetup we had uncovered held promise—a concrete lead I could place my hopes on.
More importantly, having the live virus in hand would be endlessly helpful in determining how to reverse it.
I would have to ask Tobias for more of his blood in order to break down the exact components used, though I loathed the idea of putting him through that again.
Dolion must have used up the blood I had already drawn from Tobias, unless he had stored it somewhere else for safekeeping.
I glanced at the locked door behind his desk.
He had already left for the day for some urgent business he had to attend to, though he hadn’t specified what.
He was likely helping Queen Sariyah treat the other infected.
I shuddered as I carefully stored the vial, trying not to picture what would have happened to Tobias if Thibault had succeeded. He had already been through so much. I needed to get rid of the syringe before Tobias found me and—
As if my thoughts had summoned him, Tobias stormed in, his hair still damp from his shower. He crossed the room to me in a few long strides.
“What part of ‘wait for me’ didn’t you understand?”
He sounded furious. He looked furious, I realized with a start. For once, he wasn’t able to hide behind that mask of his.
Just this once, he looked as scared as I was.
“I didn’t realize that extended to the lab,” I said waspishly even as guilt overwhelmed me. I hadn’t thought about my promise, only that I needed to get back to work as soon as possible. Today’s adventure may have been worth it, but I didn’t want to lose any more time.
Tobias gritted his teeth. “We just confirmed that Silvius’s spies are hiding among the healers, and you didn’t realize the hallways aren’t safe for you?”
I turned my back on him, covering my wince. We were both too on edge from today’s events to be able to discuss this calmly. “I have work to do, Maris.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He let out an incredulous laugh.
“You’re being hunted by a monster with a biological weapon so horrific that it wipes your mind along with your magic.
Worse, he knows you’re the only one who can stop him.
And you couldn’t wait a few extra minutes for me to escort you here? ”
“I’m not in the mood for a lecture,” I snapped, spinning around to face him. Today had wrung me dry, and I still had more to do before I could be done. “I thought you understood by now that I”—I jabbed my finger into the hard muscle of his chest to emphasize my point—“can take care of myself.”
“So can my sister,” Tobias hissed. “And she’s in a coma right now in case you forgot.”
My hand moved before my mind caught up, slapping him hard.
I sucked in a breath as I took in the angry red handprint on his cheek. My magic flared bright blue at my fingertips, urging me to heal the damage I had caused.
Tobias wrapped a hand around my still raised wrist before I could.
That strange current passed between us—restless, reaching—as something buried deep inside me stirred.
I stepped back, but he followed, crowding me back against the counter.
His eyes darkened as they scoured my face, lingering on my lips, his gaze so intense I felt my cheeks burn.
The look on his face stole the air from my lungs after so long of nothing. I knew I didn’t misunderstand that quiet, unspoken want. Hope and longing and something more—something that might sear my very soul if I wasn’t careful.
His breath brushed against my lips, and they parted in response. My eyes fluttered closed…
The heat of him vanished. My eyes flew open as he abruptly moved away.
His absence echoed like heartbreak. The question burst from my lips before I could stop myself. “Why did you stop?”
Tobias was watching me so wistfully, I could feel my heart breaking. “Because Sagray…we only get our first kiss once. I have no intention of ruining it a second time.”
So he did remember.
The ground tilted beneath my feet. He wanted this…wanted me. And yet, once again, he was walking away.
My heart pounded in my ears, all my pent-up frustration breaking loose at once. I was tired of waiting; tired of fighting this. So, so tired of ignoring the feelings beating in my heart. not now that our timing was finally right.
“And if I were to kiss you?”
Tobias’s eyes snapped to mine, his gaze heating. “You shouldn’t.”
It was my turn to close the distance between us. To feel his slow, shuddering exhale against my lips. To hear his sharp inhale as I wove my fingers into his hair, bringing his face down to mine.
I pressed myself against him until our mouths were barely a breath apart, each shared breath shallow—the anticipation so heady I almost didn’t want it to end.
“Why not?” I breathed against his lips. “Or do you think I’ll ‘ruin’ it?”
Slowly, I brushed my lips against his in a whisper of a kiss. Gone before it had even begun and yet the world itself seemed to shift. He let out a soft sound that might have been a plea.
“No,” Tobias said shakily. “I think you’ll ruin me.”
Then he yanked my face to his, his lips meeting mine.
With a muffled gasp I kissed him back. Tobias groaned into my mouth, his tongue darting against the seam of my lips. A question I already knew the answer to.
My lips parted with a moan. Then he was kissing me so thoroughly I saw stars.
This kiss—this kiss—was a collision of desire and overdue regret, urgent and inevitable.
It was everything we had held back, a yearning that bordered on desperation, and years of wanting all at once in a claiming too long denied.
It was something I couldn’t think about just yet, not when my every thought disappeared except the need for more.
The way he kissed was hungry—no, ravenous. Like he had been longing to taste me for far longer than I had realized. Like he had always wanted this, wanted me, perhaps even longer than I had wanted him.
My knees buckled. His arms wrapped around me, holding me up even as he pulled me closer. My hands bunched in his hair, tugging at the wild strands—wordlessly begging him to continue.
I gasped as he hitched my legs up and around his waist, effortlessly lifting me.
I barely registered the cool metal countertop beneath me as he set me atop it, sweeping my notes to one side.
He took full advantage of my willingness, his hands sliding down my body in a worshipful caress.
My back arched, my legs widening in response to allow him better access…
His hand dropped away. Something solidified in my gut as he took two steps back, raking that hand through his hair.
The cold of the countertop seeped into my bare thighs where my dress had ridden up, chasing away the warmth from where his body had been a moment before.
I could still feel the grip of his hands on my hips, the absence of them even more glaring because of it.
“Tobias?”
That hand dragged lower, covering his face.
“Just once.” He sounded utterly defeated. “I had to, just once.”
Tobias looked off-balance yet composed in a way I had grown used to over the last few months, his restraint completely at odds with the intensity that rolled off him.
His voice was full of self-loathing as he rasped, “I shouldn’t have…I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t hide my hurt as I snapped, “You shouldn’t be.”
Sliding off the countertop, I angrily tugged my clothes back in place. Here I was thinking he would push me away because of my magic. I should’ve known it would be because I got too close.
“Don’t you get it?” Tobias squeezed his eyes shut. “This…we could never work.”
“Why not?” I demanded. “Because you’re too scared?”
His lips pressed into a thin line, like he was silencing his response.
A heaviness pressed in on my chest as I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “I kissed you, remember? And I have no regrets at all.”
His gaze flinched toward me, his hands tightening into fists as he took one step backward, then another. With a choked sound, he fled from the room.