Tobias
The screams were familiar, a daily refrain from which there was no escape. I steeled myself against the terror and pain in the ensuing cries for help, pushing my own feelings down until I couldn’t feel my guilt anymore. There was nothing I could do to end the poor soul’s suffering.
My inaction never ceased to feel wrong, but throwing myself against the metal bars that caged me had proven no more helpful.
So I sat here in silent vigil, waiting for the quiet that meant it was my turn.
I had learned the hard way that there was nothing I could do that would change their fate, nor my own.
Aviel’s prisoners never lasted long, especially lately. He was using his stolen magic more recklessly, more often. Unlike all the others, he would make sure I survived until he had no more need for my magic, taking me to the edge of death before healing me just enough to live another day.
Not for the first time, I considered giving in to the obvious alternative.
There was a heaviness in my bones, one that warred daily with the voice inside me telling me to keep fighting.
That voice had become as muzzled as I was, its strength fading as the days turned to weeks and the months turned to years.
It was only a matter of time before the voice failed, and my fight along with it… along with my will to live.
It felt like forever since I had been truly warm.
Since sunlight had touched my skin, since the sky had been anything but a memory.
Its color had dimmed in my recollection, washed out to the pale, icy blue of Aviel’s eyes.
Even the memories I clung to in order to keep going weren’t safe to dwell on long, in case they could be used against me.
Soleara still stood. Eva was still out there, safe and hidden from the False King despite his search for her. And Quinn…
No, I couldn’t let myself think of Quinn…
though the flash of warm amber eyes and that brilliant smile felt like a ray of sunshine had found its way into my cell.
To do so would loosen the lock on the place deep inside me where I had hidden her away.
And if I removed the heart of my secrets, everything I built to contain them threatened to collapse.
The screams had dwindled into a quiet that was somehow far worse. Silence was my constant companion, but this moment of quiet wasn’t peace—it echoed with loss, death, and despair.
It also meant I was next.
I was used to pain. Used to the slow mending of injuries, the heated, aching limbs, the days it took for a wound to scab before it fully closed.
After so long being tortured mentally and physically, it was second nature to compartmentalize.
To push that torment into its own cage, where I couldn’t feel it anymore.
All I needed to do was outlast Aviel for one more day before I woke up and did it all over again.
Dread twisted in my stomach as Aviel walked to my cell, commanding Sylvius to unlock it.
Over the years, I had tried to fight my way out, to choose my moment—preying on the times when Aviel seemed drained or distracted to attempt to make my escape.
Weakened, chained, and magicless as I was, I never managed to get very far, and bore the scars for each attempt.
But delaying the inevitable had always been the plan, by any means necessary.
Aviel hadn’t broken me. Not yet. He had broken my bones and spilled my blood too many times to count.
He had gloated time and time again about the lives he had stolen, both of my parents topping that list. He drained my magic so often that I barely remembered a time when my own power hadn’t been used to hurt me, especially with the band around my neck blocking it from my reach.
Torture had become a constant, a horrific, endless routine.
My mind remained the only safe place I had left; my most important memories unreachable in the mental cages I built for them. There was stubbornness, and then there was whatever kept me from letting him in.
From the first time Aviel used his magic to try to pry my secrets from me, I spent each isolated minute here locking my memories away.
I pictured the dungeon I was trapped in, staring at the real version in front of me as I did so.
To stave off my panic, I focused on recreating each detail: the rough stone stained with grime, the grayish light that cast long shadows at the base of each iron bar.
I memorized each cell, down to the condensation on the walls and the musty scent of decay.
Aviel’s obsession with my sister had given me one small advantage.
By the time he realized that I had been sharing only the most innocuous memories of Eva to distract him during our torture sessions, I had locked the ones that would lead him to her and to Soleara so deep in my mind that not even he could break in.
And every time I heard the screams that had become my constant companions, I would lock them away too before that suffering could break me.
I became as cold as the mask that leeched the warmth from my face, its weight a constant source of claustrophobia.
Icy like the iron shackles that bound me, and the constrictive band around my neck, though neither were as cold as my heart had become.
For the people I loved to survive him, I couldn’t…at least not as the person I used to be. I couldn’t let myself feel anymore. Not pain, not anguish, not fear or terror. Not even the slightest glimmer of hope that I would make it through this to see them again.
Honestly, it was better if I didn’t. I didn’t want them to see me like this, this cold, hard shell of the boy they once loved. But I couldn’t do this forever. Every time I erected another stone, another barrier in my mind, Aviel delighted in punishing me for it in his attempts to tear it down.
He had nothing but time. I might endure battle after battle, but this war of attrition was one I couldn’t win.
No matter the cost, I intended on making it very, very difficult for him for as long as I could.
After all, Aviel couldn’t kill me—not while he still needed my magic and my blood.
So despite the blades he used to mark me and the earthshattering pain that wracked me every time he stole my magic, I would grit my teeth and bear it…
or rather, bury it away. Even as a small part of me hoped he would go too far and kill me this time.
But if he thought I would stop fighting him, he was very fucking mistaken.
Pale eyes met mine. Fear coursed through my body even as I tried to push it away.
Sylvius had already boasted about his plan for Aviel to reach Eva through the bloodbond between us.
I was certain this new method would be no less painful than Aviel’s previous attempts to ascertain my twin’s whereabouts.
Part of me was proud that the mental fortress I built had proven so difficult to invade.
The rest of me was terrified that I was about to lose—that this was the moment I would fail my twin and the final promise I had made my mother.
All because I was too much of a coward to bash my head in against the metal of the mask that was already leeching the life from me.
It was one thing to guard my memories, but how was I supposed to protect the blood that linked us when every inch of this cell had been covered in it?
My breathing picked up as Aviel stalked closer.
He hadn’t been able to get much of a rise out of me the last few times he ripped my magic away, and the glint in his eyes laid bare his excitement.
I barely felt the bands of my stolen light forcing me to the ground until my mask slammed against the stone.
My hands trembled, my body expecting the pain now, even as it made me focus.
Whatever came next, I would fight it with everything I had.
Aviel’s hand pressed the back of my head down, shoving my face against the cold, hard metal.
“You could simply tell me where she is,” he taunted me. “It would save you so much pain.”
I braced myself for the onslaught, shoving my feelings, my memories, and my last dregs of hope behind lock and key.
Aviel’s laugh was cold and cruel. “Have it your way.”
I would keep them safe. I wouldn’t fail them. I couldn’t—
A scream tore from my throat, the agony so acute that I broke through the magic stifling my voice. I could taste the iron of my blood; the salt of sweat and tears. I vaguely wondered if I had bitten through my tongue again.
“Tobias!”
Quinn.
I screamed again as my stolen light seared me from the inside out. Her name stuck in my throat as I fought to get to her with everything I had.
No, no, no…she couldn’t be here. This had to be another trick. If she was here, that meant that not only had I failed her…I failed them all.
Because if they had her, I would tell them anything to keep her safe.
“Tobias, please!”
I couldn’t let them hurt her. I wasn’t strong enough to stand it.
She was who I held on for, who I lived for.
With one final fortifying breath, I summoned the last of my courage. If I gave my life to save her, then it would be a life well spent.
It was always all for her, anyway.