Quinn
Ididn’t know what was worse, the fact that Tobias was obviously screaming in pain, or that when he did, he barely made a sound.
He had thrown the blankets from the bed, his shirtless form twisted in the sheets.
Tears streamed down his face; his expression crumpled in an agony so intense, my magic felt like it might burst through my chest.
Before I even realized I had moved, I was at his side, crawling onto his bed. Just as I was about to reach him, his back bowed and a terrifying guttural sound emitted from deep in his throat.
I gripped his face, taking it between my hands as I cried out his name, begging for him to hear me. The sound of my voice only seemed to make him thrash more frantically. A blue glow sank into his skin as my magic reached for him too, trying to heal his terror.
“Wake up,” I demanded, my voice desperate. “You’re having a nightmare.”
“No,” Tobias choked out, struggling in my grip. “D-don’t hurt her.”
“Tobias,” I pleaded as my thumbs traced his cheek. “Open your eyes. For me.”
He reared back, and my hands slid down to his neck. In a blink, two large, tanned hands fastened around my wrists like shackles. The next second, I was underneath him.
My hands were pinned on either side of my head, Tobias’s body pressing mine into the bed. His hair fell into his face, something feral behind his eyes as he looked around unseeingly.
“Tobias, please…” I whispered, my fear for him multiplying.
His gaze was glassy, wide, and wild with fear. “I won’t let him hurt you.”
My heart broke at the look on his face. “I know.”
Tobias’s unfocused eyes looked back and forth, searching for a threat that wasn’t there. A breath shuddered through him, then another. His whole body trembled, shaking so hard he was practically vibrating.
Carefully, I let my magic reach for him again, trying to break him free of this. That familiar blue light raced up his arms before it faded into his veins. Light flashed at his fingertips before melting into mine, our magics coming together like old friends.
I felt the exact moment Tobias came back to himself, the way his muscles relaxed at my magic’s urging.
His breathing steadied, his bare chest glistened with sweat as it rose and fell at a more regular rhythm.
I tried not to think about how intimately we were positioned, but his hold on me stayed firm, his hard body heavy over mine.
His face slackened, his eyes coming into focus before staring deeply into my own. The horror on his face slid into confusion, then a tenuous calm.
“It was just a nightmare,” I reassured him, keeping my voice low and soothing.
He shook his head, the movement jerky. “No…it wasn’t.”
A memory then. Perhaps one that had morphed into a reoccurring nightmare over time. I didn’t have to ask to know it was about his years beneath Morehaven.
Tobias blinked down at where his hands were still manacled around my wrists. He released me like he had been burned, scrambling away so quickly my heart caught in my throat. The sheets fell away as he sprang from the bed, turning his back like he couldn’t bear to face me.
He was only wearing a thin pair of shorts, the moonlight illuminating every dip in the muscles of his back. A gasp escaped me, far too loud in the silence.
I knew about the scarred white band where the collar had once bound Tobias’s magic. I had touched the circular scars on his wrists, each layer a testimony to his mistreatment. But his back…
Cruel white lines slashed down the entire length of it—so many that they crisscrossed atop each other.
Scars from old burns interspersed with the patchwork of lines that could have only come from a blade or a whip, so deep they had flayed the skin from muscle and sinew.
Older scars faded into the new, each silvery line cutting across his back with heartbreaking precision.
These were more than just intentional. They had been inflicted to hurt him, to break him. The cruelty of it made my stomach turn even as pure, undiluted rage rose inside me like a scream.
Tobias’s shoulders lifted self-consciously as he realized where my gaze had gone.
My magic flared at my fingertips like it could fix what had long since happened.
I had known, of course, that Tobias had been Aviel’s prisoner…
but to see the marks of his torture? I almost wished the False King wasn’t dead, so I could inflict the same punishment, the same pain, as though it could ever make things even.
I swung my feet over the edge of the bed, slowly padding over to stand behind him—giving him time to retreat if he needed. On impulse, I splayed my hand against the worst of the scars on his upper back.
Tobias stiffened but didn’t move. My healing magic flowed from my hand, seeking out the ingrained pain there. I tenderly traced one scar with my fingertips, then the next, each one glowing softly beneath my touch.
He shuddered slightly as I reached a particularly brutal indent against his spine, though his head still didn’t turn. My magic couldn’t fix what had already healed, nor could it change what had been done to him—but I could feel the suffering, the despair locked within it.
Gently, I pressed into the thick scar tissue as if I could knead it away.
“I’m glad he’s dead.” My voice was so gravelly I barely recognized it. “I hope it hurt when he burned. I hope everyone who had a part in it pays for what they put you through.”
The silence stretched, though there was no rebuke for the distinctly unhealer-like thought. Not that I had expected one from him.
Tobias half-turned my way, his face lost in shadow.
“Alette deserved that kill, even if I wanted it. From what I can tell, the prison guards all traveled with Aviel to Adronix since there wasn’t anyone left in the prison.
I can’t be certain, but I like to think they’re buried at the bottom of that mountain with no one to mourn them. ”
The blue of my magic stuttered, a hint of red coming to my fingertips as I whispered, “Good.”
Tobias shifted, the muscles of his back rippling under my touch as it turned back to blue. “And Silvius…well, he didn’t have to touch me to hurt me.”
Gently, I traced my finger around the scar bisecting his neck as I walked around his body until I stood in front of him.
His gaze widened, trailing down my form and oh so slowly back up again.
I suddenly found myself far too aware that I had rushed into his room in only a thin silk nightgown that barely reached mid-thigh.
It might as well have been see-through with how clearly you could see the shape of my nipples beneath it.
Emboldened by his perusal, my hand slipped lower to a cluster of scars that decorated one pectoral. Slowly, I moved down the chiseled line between his abdominals to the scarred remains of a stab wound, which sat just above the deep vee that disappeared into his low-slung shorts.
I forced my gaze back up to his face as I made myself ask, “Do you want to talk about your nightmare?”
Tobias’s lips pressed tightly together like he was biting down on his response. Then he stepped away. My hand hovered midair, still reaching for him.
He looked down, avoiding my gaze as he gritted out, “I’m fine, Sagray. You should go back to bed.”
I reared back at his clipped tone. When he finally looked back up at me, his expression had turned stony, though his eyes remained mercurial.
For one moment, he had let his guard down. Now it was all too obvious he was trying to build his walls back up.
“Don’t lie to me.” I shook my head in disbelief, failing to keep the disappointment and anger out of my voice as I added, “You’ve never been any good at it, anyway.”
Tobias let out a dry, humorless laugh. Light sparked within those hazel eyes, begging for an outlet.
“Things change,” he said, a hint of sadness creeping into his tone.
I knew why he had learned to lie in the years we were separated—why he walled himself off so entirely that even Aviel hadn’t been able to get him to betray our whereabouts. His scars were a testament to everything he had chosen to endure to keep me safe.
Tobias thought he was broken. And yet, he was the one who hadn’t broke.
I wanted to heal his scars with one magic, and use the other to eradicate everyone that had ever hurt him.
I wanted to undo everything he was forced to face and give him back the years he spent scared and alone.
I wanted to throw my arms around him and thank him without risking him disappearing further into himself.
It was clear he didn’t want me prying past his defenses. And maybe this was another attempt to push me away…but after so many months of this, I wasn’t going to let him.
After all he had done for me, I had to try.
“Please don’t shut me out,” I whispered so my voice didn’t break. “Not now that…”
“Now that what?”
I tried not to flinch at the flat, dismissive tone, nearly devoid of all emotion.
Not now that we have a second chance.
“I deserve better than this, Tobias Maris,” I snapped, stepping in front of him.
“You’re not the only one who has suffered, even if you faced the worst of it.
” I pointed my finger at him, then pressed it into the hard pane of his chest as I moved further into his space.
“You’re not the only one whose parents were murdered.
” I pushed harder, hating his lack of response.
“You aren’t the only person who found themselves lost in another realm, desperately trying to find someone, anyone that could help.
” My throat burned, and I hated myself for it.
“Why won’t you let me help you? Why won’t you let me in? ”