Chapter 11 #2
She gestured to her own skirt and blouse, and Eliza’s simple calico.
“And you know something else? I liked playing with the cat up in the barn loft, and when she had kittens, I spent most of my day up there. I’d get in trouble for that too, coming inside with straw in my hair and my dress dirty, but I didn’t care. ”
Eliza stared at her. “Really?”
“Really,” Chloe nodded. “But of course, as I got older, I realized that I couldn’t always do everything I wanted.
” She sobered. “After you were born, I very much wanted to keep you, because I loved you, I still love you, very much, but I couldn’t give you care that you needed.
” Her voice broke. “Handing you over to that orphanage was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I regret it to this day. ”
Eliza stared at her, all expression gone from her face once more. “So now you want me again?”
Chloe tried to smile but her heart was breaking and a tear had again escaped her eye. “I’ve always wanted you, Eliza, and I’ve thought of you every day—”
“Why didn’t you come for me sooner?”
Chloe’s heart sank to the pit of her stomach and settled like a rock.
“Because I was afraid,” she replied honestly.
How could she tell a six-year-old that she was terrified that her outlaw husband would discover her whereabouts, follow her to the orphanage, and take their daughter just to teach her a lesson?
How could she tell this little girl that her father was a vicious, violent outlaw who had threatened her for turning him in and having him put in prison?
“I had to work hard to save up money to go looking for you,” she said.
“It took such an awfully long time, but I finally made my way to the orphanage in Lincoln.” She saw her daughter’s eyes widen and realized that Eliza finally believed her.
“The mistress of the orphanage there told me you had been sent here to Texas, and I searched every orphanage that I could as I made my way south.”
Eliza said nothing for several moments. They both turned back toward the creek. Chloe felt worn out, as if she’d done days of harsh physical labor. What if Eliza wouldn’t accept her? What if Eliza hated her for doing what she had? How could she—
“So where are we going to go?”
The words lifted Chloe’s heart more than she could ever have imagined. She turned to her daughter and smiled.
“There’s a boarding house in town run by the sheriff’s mother and sister.
He used to live there but now that he’s the sheriff, he has his own place at the jail.
There’s a cabin behind the boarding house where they said we could stay.
I’m working there for a while, to help us both get back on our feet before we decide what we want to do or where we want to live. ”
Again Eliza was silent for the longest time.
She turned away, watching the water again.
Chloe let her be. It was a lot for a child to take in.
At the same time she realized that Eliza was a little older in experience and life than other six-year-olds, so she couldn’t smother her, couldn’t rush her into making any decisions.
“You mean you live with Miss Lillian?”
“Yes,” Chloe replied. “Well, for the past week or so. You see, the stagecoach I was in, bringing me here to Cedar Bluff, was attacked by outlaws and I was hurt. The sheriff found me and took me to his mother at the boarding house. I’ve been there ever since.”
Eliza’s eyes widened. “The sheriff, the man that came with you the other day?”
“Nathaniel Cross, yes,” Chloe said. “He’s a good man.”
“He didn’t look very kind the other day when he came. He just stared at me.”
Chloe smiled. “He’s a man of few words, I can tell you that, but he saved my life, Eliza, and so did his mother and sister. I owe them all a great debt of gratitude. They’ve opened their home and their cabin, told us we could live there until we decide what we want to do.”
“We’re going to live in the sheriff’s house?”
“The cabin behind it,” she clarified. “And the sheriff doesn’t live in the house anymore. He lives at the jail.”
“Why?”
Chloe did her best not to smile. This was the longest conversation she and her daughter had had since the moment they met. “Because he’s a grown man and he’s the sheriff.” She smiled. “It wouldn’t look right, living with his Mama, would it? A grown man like him?”
Eliza nibbled at her lip, thinking. She finally looked up at Chloe. “Are you going to make me wear frilly dresses?”
Chloe smiled. “No, I’ll find or make dresses you like.
” Though her sewing skills were woefully lacking, she realized at that moment she’d do anything she could to make her daughter happy, to try and make up for all the years that they’d been apart, and of course, to assuage her guilt, though that seemed unlikely.
She had a feeling she would feel that guilt over leaving her daughter for the rest of her life.
“Can I help with the yard chores? Do they have chickens? A milk cow? Or cats, or a dog, or maybe even pigs?”
“They have chickens and a milk cow, and I do believe there’s a barn cat.
But they don’t have any cats or dogs. And I think that once you’re taught how to do it, they would be more than happy to have some help with the yard chores.
Miss Lillian and Miss Dalia are usually very busy with their boarders and would welcome any help with the yard or the animals. ”
The smile Eliza gave her at that moment made her heart soar. Such simple things that her daughter wanted, just a roof over her head, something to care for, and to know that she was wanted.
Chloe realized that she wanted the same things as her daughter and prayed that they would find it in the small cabin behind the boarding house. Though she knew she couldn’t stay there forever, it was a start, and she would do her best to make sure that she and Eliza were never separated again.
A tentative smile curved Eliza’s lips “Can I call you Mama?” she hesitantly asked.
Tears filled Chloe’s eyes and she leaned forward, her arms open and her heart brimming with love and relief for the second chances God had given her.
She wrapped her arms around her daughter for the first time since the moment she’d handed her to the reverend back in Lincoln, her heart pounding and her happiness boundless and filled with hope for the days to come.