Chapter 1 #2
Her hand immediately went up to her mouth, trying to see if there was a crumb or perhaps a jam smear left.
The back of her hand came away clean and so she tried to just nod and head inside.
She didn’t think that she was particularly disliked or talked about.
If anything, she was just pitied, but everyone was always kind to her.
Inside the grand church, there were several groups already gathered and seated. Emily sighed as she saw that this was going to be one of the weeks when the front rows would be the only ones available. She preferred to sit in the back, lost in her thoughts and prayers.
Father Hendricks, a kindly old man who had known Emily since she was a child, was at the front, talking with one of the altar boys. When he saw Emily, he dismissed the boy and walked toward her, his hands stretched out.
“Emily,” he said. “I did not expect to see you today. God bless you. How are you doing?”
Emily reacted in confusion.
“I…I’m alright?” she asked. Did he know it was Daniel’s birthday? Was she walking around with a dark cloud over her head, despite her best efforts. “How are you?”
“I’m well, my child, I’m well,” he said. “But you did not have to come today.”
“Wha…Why?” Emily asked.
“Well,” Father Hendricks lowered his voice. “Because of Daniel.”
“How did you know?” she asked, confused.
“Well, Mrs. Tally told me,” he said. “She just heard.”
Emily’s brow furrowed further.
“Mrs. Tally…just heard what?”
Father Hendrick’s face changed. He pulled her toward him slightly, and she felt her heart thud in her chest.
“My dear girl, are you telling me you haven’t heard the news about your brother?”
“Is there news?” she asked. “What is it? Who has heard from him?”
“Mrs. Tally’s father-in-law was recently passing through Little Hope, Wyoming. He was at a public house when the town’s doctor came in, discussing a recent death on a ranch. Once he heard the name, he knew he had to ask more.”
Emily felt all the blood drain from her face.
“A…recent death?” she said. “On a ranch in Wyoming? But Daniel doesn’t live in Wyoming."
She didn’t know why she said that, because it wasn’t the slightest bit true. She had no idea where Daniel lived. Wyoming was so far away, and she had never been there. The idea that he had a whole ranch out there seemed almost laughable to her. Surely he wouldn’t be all the way out there.
However, she quickly realized she was missing the main point. According to Father Hendricks, he actually wasn’t anywhere.
“But…are they sure that it’s our Daniel? It can’t be. It--”
“I’m afraid all signs point to yes,” Father Hendricks said. “The right age, recent immigrants there, the right complexion…Mr. Tally got all the details to pass back, he remembered the story of Daniel leaving.”
“How did he die?” Emily asked, her voice shaking. “What happened to him?”
“I only heard that it was some kind of ranch accident. I’m sorry, Emily. The details were unclear.” Father Hendricks said.
“But…” Emily’s mouth opened and closed like a fish. She felt like her chest was caving in on her. This couldn’t be true. This just couldn’t be true. “No, this can’t be right. He…no…”
“Emily,” Father Hendricks put a hand on her shoulder and guided her to the front pew. “Sit down. I know this is quite a shock.”
“I…” Emily felt the tears coming now. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to say. Are you sure? Are you--”
“We are as sure as we can possibly be, Emily,” Father Hendricks replied. “I’m so sorry.”
Emily bent her head and put her face to her hands.
She felt the tears stream into her palms, and she felt her throat start to close.
She couldn’t just sob in the front of the church as everyone was filing in.
This wasn’t like her. She was strong; she was determined and she fixed everything. She didn’t fall apart at the seams.
“What should I do?” she asked, looking up at the priest. “I don’t know what to do?”
“The news only came this morning,” Father Hendricks said.
“If it were me, I would go to Little Hope, to see what I could bring home with me. The sheriff in Little Hope sent word through the telegraph office after the burial, hoping to locate any surviving family, but no one there knew how to reach you. Mr. Tally’s father-in-law happened to hear the notice while passing through town and brought the message back. ”
“You mean who I could bring home with me,” Emily said, trying to force back the tears. “I didn’t know where he was for years. I don’t know anything about Wyoming. Today is his birthday.”
“I’m so sorry, my dear,” Father Hendricks said. “I do have to start the service now. You are of course welcome to stay, we will support you, or I could come around and visit you after?”
“A train,” Emily said, dully. “I need to take a train to Wyoming?"
“Yes, I imagine,” Father Hendricks said. “I myself haven’t been there either but I think it’s quite the distance.”
“I will,” Emily stood up, feeling numb inside. “I will take a train to Little Hope.”
“You cannot travel by yourself, though?” Father Hendricks said. “Maybe one of the elderly…”
“No, of course I can,” Emily replied. “I have been by myself all of these years. I will have to make this journey alone.”
“I am so very sorry again, Emily,” Father Hendricks said. “If you need anything at all.”
“You’ve told me,” she said. “I might have never known otherwise. Thank you.”
She headed back down the church aisle with a much different temperament than when she had walked up it. Her mouth felt dry and her palms felt sweaty. Now she understood why everyone was looking at her.
Her heart was torn between breaking and disbelief. There had been nothing, no letters, no sightings, not a single word, for years. Rumors flew all the time, why should this be the first?
Emily didn’t realize that her legs were taking her to the train station until she was already most of the way there.
She had been on a train before, when she went searching for Daniel for the first time.
However, the first time, she had only gone to nearby towns, staying overnight in an inn only once when a mudslide had closed the train tracks.
The train station was mostly empty, given that it was Sunday morning, but there was a ticket agent sitting in the booth. He looked bored with his job and his surroundings, and young enough to prefer being out kicking a ball rather than in a tiny booth with ticket stubs in front of him.
“I’d like a ticket to Little Hope,” Emily said, as she approached him. Up close, he looked to be about the same age Daniel had been when he left, which broke her heart even more.
The young man stared at her.
“Where?” he asked in confusion. Emily swallowed hard. She had wanted to buy this ticket before she could really think about it.
“Wyoming,” she said. “Little Hope, Wyoming.”
“Uh…” the young man opened the book in front of him, with hundreds of timetables printed.
He took a long time scanning each line and Emily’s heart rate only rose with each passing moment.
It hadn’t occurred to her that the train from Chicago wouldn’t actually go there, or that the town didn’t have a train station at all.
“Oh, alright. That’s a long train ride, Miss. ”
“When is the next train?” she asked.
“Tonight,” he said. “It will arrive at 10:00pm and you will be on the train for nearly three days. There’s quite a few stops along the way.”
“Alright,” she said, meeting his gaze.
To his credit, he did not ask her any more questions. He simply nodded and told her the price.
It turned out to be all the money Emily was carrying with her. She had intended to put extra in the tithe pot as tribute for Daniel’s birthday, but she supposed this was a tribute in a way.
“Be here by half nine,” the agent said. “To load your bags.”
“Thank you,” Emily said, and took the ticket from him.
She walked back to her boarding house in a daze.
Halfway through the walk, she remembered that she owed rent for the next week.
She had more money tucked away, and she could pay it, but it occurred to her that she didn’t have to.
She didn’t own much, just a few dresses, a couple of books, and her sewing kit.
She could pack everything into the two cases she owned and leave the room empty.
It wasn’t a kind thing to do; to leave Mrs. Skall with no notice, but Emily wasn’t sure she would want to come back if she found out the news was true.
There was a part of her heart that hoped only the death part wasn’t true. She hoped against hope that perhaps Daniel really was in Little Hope, Wyoming, but he wasn’t dead. She would step off the train, and he would be there, smiling and asking her what took her so long.
She had to pack everything, she decided. She needed to be open to the possibility that he was out there, and if his spirit really was departed, then she wasn’t sure she could go back to the place where they had lived.
“Is church over already?” Mrs. Skall asked Emily as soon as she walked in the door. “My goodness, that was fast.”
Telling Mrs. Skall the news was easier than Emily had thought. Perhaps it was because she had already done the hardest part, or perhaps it was because part of her had been looking for an excuse to be free of this life she had created for herself.
Either way, by 9:00pm, all her belongings were packed, and she said her goodbyes to Mrs. Skall and a few other tenants with a heavy heart.
She walked toward the train station with both cases in the dark, not even thinking about the danger of doing so.
Her eyes were focused on the torches from the station in the distance, and her heart had slowed to a dull, steady beat.
She was leaving. She was leaving everything they had known; the memories of her mother and father; the memories of Daniel’s childhood and she wasn’t sure she would ever return. One way or another, life was about to change forever.