Chapter Sixty
Asher
I wake up feeling relaxed and automatically reach for Tera.
She’s not there. The space is cold.
That gets me out of bed faster than I’ve ever moved.
“Angel?” I can’t help the angry bark as it escapes me.
A startled squeak comes from the living room as I burst in. Her eyes widen at my nudity as I stop to calm my racing heart.
She’s sitting in the middle of empty plastic bags holding a plastic picture frame as if she’s about to use it as a shield. I’m a little disappointed that she put pajamas on.
I’m very relieved that she didn’t run.
“Is everything ok?” She glances around as if she’s going to find someone else here.
“Yeah,” I huff out a weak laugh and rub the back of my neck to relieve the tension there. “Just didn’t know where you were.”
“Sorry,” her nose wrinkles with her wince. “I’m nervous and I can’t sleep. You should go back to bed though. It isn’t even seven yet.”
She’s worried. Shade’s meeting is at seven and she’s stressing about it.
“How about I sit with you and help with what you’re working on.”
I try to see what she’s doing and have to choke back a laugh at the various pictures she’s framing. The stills of the group in various stances of idiocy aren’t what gets me. It’s all the clowns.
“You’re framing them all?” I try to keep my tone calm but it cracks a little.
Her eyes narrow at the sound but she’s quickly distracted by my tattoos. I’ve never been so grateful for them. I never thought I’d be lickable because of them.
“No,” she shakes her head and straightens, determined not to lose focus. “I’m putting some of these in the bottom of drawers so the pranks keep going when they least expect it.”
I bite down on my inner cheek and turn back to the bedroom to pull on some pants. By the time I get back I have to grin as I take in the struggle she’s having with a frame.
“Let me,” I swallow back the humor of it and sit on the floor next to her.
Tera startles and her eyes meet mine. I feel the twinge in my chest that I get every time our eyes meet and her smile comes out of hiding, irritation forgotten at the sight of me. The notion of it humbles me as much as it makes me want to pounce. I’ve never had anyone look at me like she does. Like I’m something vital and cherished. She has no idea how much I’ve started to crave it. Even if I explained it to her the words would pale like wraiths in comparison to the feeling.
“Thank you,” she says in that voice that makes my skin tighten with need. I shake my head and refocus on helping.
At some point I’m going to learn to have control over myself around her.
She keeps looking at the time, her frown going from slight to very concerned. It’s one minute past seven.
“I have a tattoo that doesn’t have a color yet.”
Her attention jerks to my face and then my pec. The blank chrysanthemum my sister refuses to fill in. She says my one is the only one who gets a vote on what color it should be. My one is right here and needs a distraction.
“I noticed that,” she tilts her head as she studies it. Her eyes crinkle as she chews her lip. “It makes me sad.”
My hands freeze for a second before I continue replacing the plastic frame. “Why’s that?”
“Because it’s right over your heart and it’s empty.” Her eyes flick back to her work as I study her. “You’re not empty.”
Of course she gets it. The knowledge that she understands me on a level no one else ever has flattens me. It’s not one sided. This isn’t a dream. It can’t be. Nothing this good continues for over twenty-four hours.
She already sees it in color where I’ve always left it a blank slate.
“What color do you think it should be?” I try to sound casual instead of letting her know how I’m hanging from every word with tension now.
Her gaze turns thoughtful, taking the question more seriously than I thought she would.
“I would say something bright but that’s not quite right.” She muses.
I’ve seen some of the neon dresses. Now that I think about it this might be my most colorful tattoo yet. The idea makes me want to laugh. If she sees me as something that vivid, I’m ok with it.
Shemakes me want to laugh. In a lifetime of forced chuckles and dry humor she can open me up faster than anyone.
“Blue,” she says suddenly with a smile. “Dark blue. Like your eyes.”
I tilt my head as I think about that. “Yeah? Why?”
“The eyes are windows to the soul?” She says sheepishly. “And I feel connected to you every time our eyes meet. I think it would be nice to feel that way looking at the flower too.”
I shove the mess out of the way to grip the back of her neck and pull her to me. I don’t hold anything back in the kiss, devouring her in the hopes she’ll be with me always.
Her surprise lasts for a split second before her tongue shyly strokes along mine. I can’t hold back my groan at the sweetness of it. So innocent and willing to be so filthy with me.
The phone starts ringing and I want to chuck it out the window for the interruption. It doesn’t help that when she draws back from me her eyes are dazed and unfocused.
“Angel,” I groan, fighting with myself to maintain some control and not break the damn thing as it continues.
“I have to. It’s South,” her eyes abruptly refocus and become sad.
I nod and drop onto my back rubbing the heels of my palms into my eyes as hard as I can to reset my brain.
Tera
As much as I love South I’ve been dreading hearing her ring tone this morning. She wouldn’t call if everything was ok.
“How is everything going?” I ask in a fake chipper tone I hope is believable. Maybe if I think good things it won’t be too bad.
“They ditched him,” South’s monotone, breathy voice comes across clearly and I stifle my wince as my shoulders drop in defeat.
“He refused to leave you behind and they bailed. Work with a chance of never returning.”
“Ok,” I take a deep breath and close my eyes. “Don’t leave him alone, Southie. Please?”
“I won’t.” The tone is flat but her determination is a live thing between us.
“He’s going to drive for a while and be crazy about it. He’s practically a stunt driver so don’t worry about that. It makes him feel better.”
My eyes open as a warm palm cradles my shoulder and I find Asher frowning at me.
“And then?” South draws my attention back to her.
“He’ll go home and he won’t come out for a long time.”
“We should clean up and give him some space, Angel,” Asher mutters quietly.
“You’re right,” I mutter hopelessly.
Asher gets to work gathering all the trash and putting things in bags for us to leave.
I don’t want to go knowing how much he’s going to need me. He may not want me to be here when he gets home or even in the next few days. But I want to be. It takes me a second to calm and think about what he might need instead.
Alone time to brood. He’s great at that. I’ll just call him all the time until he picks up. I can get Andi on that too.
But he can still have a guardian angel, right? Maybe a guardian psychopath?
“Can you take care of him, South?” I ask her desperately. Asher glances at me in concern before he goes back to packing things up.
“Me.” The tiny word loses tone and becomes air in her surprise.
“Yes,” I insist. I know she’s the perfect person for this. “He’s going to shut me out. He’s a runner and he needs some time. Please?”
I’ll just keep her on the no contact ban but she can do whatever else she feels is necessary to take care of him. I refuse to feel guilty about how she chooses to handle things.
“Yes.”
The flat word washes away a lot of my stress. It’s going to be a rough road, just like Trevor said. Southie is always my hidden ace of clubs.
“Thank you so much,” I sigh out.
“You never have to thank me,” she answers without inflection.
“I love you, Southie.”
I hear a huff of breath and then the line disconnects.
I don’t take offense. She’s not going to lie and say it back to me. South doesn’t fake emotion. She cares for me in her own way.
I stand and look around at the apartment sadly. I’m not going to be back for a while, I know that. But something inside me says that it’s going to be even longer than I’m hoping.
A text comes in as I take in the barren furnishings and blank walls.
Max was right and wrong at the same time.
It wasn’t just me refusing to put any personality in this place. Shade is just as bad at trying to hide everything.
“Angel?”
I glance down at my phone and find a single word.
Shade:Go