14. Miles
MILES
Ever since the night we marked each other, things had been going well. We had sleepovers on Friday when Indie stayed over at Rudy’s. The three of us shared meals together a few days a week. We talked every day, even when our schedules didn’t align perfectly.
But for the past week, I was bone tired and not seeing much of Stellan. At first I thought I was overdoing it, but it was getting worse. Yesterday I found myself taking breaks at work to go get food, not because I was hungry, but because it kept me awake.
I was starting to wonder if I was getting sick and it wasn’t the stress of work being chaotic mixed with me trying to spend as much time as I could with my new mate.
This morning I barely made it into work. Getting out of bed had been a chore, and I hit snooze an embarrassing number of times.
Of course, things went wrong last night with work’s server, and I had a million help requests from coworkers waiting for me when I did arrive. I had to add dealing with that to my already packed meeting-filled agenda.
I got to lunch late, and when I stepped into the break room, I wished I hadn’t.
Someone thought it was a good idea to nuke fish.
I wasn’t a fish hater, but this one smelled off, and I suspected it had gone bad.
Normally, that would have annoyed me. People being that rude always did.
There were certain foods you shouldn’t microwave in common areas.
But today it went beyond annoying. My stomach rebelled, and I bolted to the bathroom.
Joel was there washing his hands as I nearly ran him over on my way to the stall, barely reaching it in time to empty my stomach.
"Hey, are you okay?"
Obviously, I wasn’t.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just that fish… who did that?” Because they were going on my shit list.
"No clue, but it was awful. I suspect it was that container that has been in the refrigerator since last Wednesday. Why would they eat that?" He shivered at the thought.
I skipped lunch and went back to work, nibbling on some cashews I had at my desk.
Barbara came over with her laptop a short while later and asked, "Can you look at this? I could’ve sworn I put everything in this file, but…”
“Give it to me and I’ll see what I can do."
She talked me through her issue, and sure enough, she’d made a duplicate file. Again. Her problems were usually easy to solve because she was always the one responsible for them. Tech was not her bestie.
"No offense, but you look greener than the house plants in my window." She grabbed her laptop.
"Are you trying to brag about your office?" I teased. She was one of the people who had walls in this place.
"I wasn't, but it is fabulous. Seriously, though, if you aren’t feeling well, don’t stick around here."
"I won't,” I promised.
“You look like I did when I was pregnant,” were her parting words.
Could I be pregnant? It wasn't like Stellan and I did anything to prevent pregnancy. But we hadn't been trying either.
On the way home, I stopped at a convenience store and bought an overpriced pregnancy test, the only brand they had.
It was good having no choices, because as it was, it took me ten minutes of pretending I was looking at the other shelf before I had the courage to grab it.
There was no reason for me to be so shy about it.
I was an adult. I had a job. I had a place to live.
There was nothing wrong with me being pregnant, but still, it was embarrassing.
At home, I took the test and set my timer.
“Marmalade, you might be a big sister soon.”
She must’ve sensed my nerves, rubbing against me until I picked her up.
The wait for the timer to go off was torture, and then when it did, I was scared to look.
I grabbed my phone and texted Stellan.
Can you come here?
Sure, is something wrong?
No. I want to show you something.
I felt bad vaguely texting him, but the alternatives all felt worse.
He knocked on my door less than a minute later. "What's going on?"
I grabbed his hand and pulled him into my room. "It's in the bathroom. I can't look at it. Come with me."
"You don't need to come.” He kissed the top of my head. “I'll kill whatever it is."
He went in before I could figure out a response, and he came back out holding the pregnancy stick. "You weren't asking me to kill a spider."
"No, I wasn’t. It felt like you needed to be here to see it when I did."
He closed the distance between us. “Let’s look together.” He turned the test around, revealing two lines. "You're pregnant."
I set my hand on my belly. "I’m pregnant. That okay?"
"Oh, sweet omega, it’s so much better than okay. We're gonna be dads.”
“But you're a dad already. What about Indie?"
"Go sit on the bed."
He went back to the bathroom and came out without the pregnancy test. He sat beside me. "She's not a toddler. Her dad and his mate are giving her a sibling. She’ll be happy.”
“Does she understand I’m your mate?" We hadn’t had a sit-down talk with her yet. I kept wanting to bring that up but had been leaving the parenting side of this to him.
"She understands that. It's not like she didn't know we were mates.”
I looked at him, confused. Had he told her? He must’ve, but then why didn’t he tell me?
"Everybody who sees this knows.” He placed his hand on his mark.
“You don't think she'll mind all the changes that are coming?"
"I know she won't. She was thrilled when she found out I liked you."
"When did you tell her that?"
"I didn't. She told me." There was more to that story, but as much as I wanted to know it, the need to talk to Indie was gnawing at me. It was like I couldn’t breathe until I knew she was fine with this.
"How do we tell her?"
“We go up together.” He grabbed my hand, and the two of us walked up to this apartment where she was sitting down, scolding her math book.
"You're home." She dropped her pencil and slammed the book closed. Who could blame her. Homework was the worst.
"So did you finally tell him?" she said to me.
"What?” Had I promised her something and forgotten? With my exhaustion so deep, that wouldn’t surprise me.
“Did you tell him I'm gonna be a big sister?"
"How did you know?" I’d barely known for ten minutes.
"I scented it yesterday," she said, looking at me like, How could I not know?
"But I didn't scent it," Stellan said.
"Yeah, because you didn't see him yesterday. I saw him on my way back from school.."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I figured you knew." She rolled her eyes. "Besides, you're mates. What's the big deal?"
This kid knew far more than I realized, and I kind of wanted to die a little inside. But also, I was glad because it saved me trying to figure out how to start what I had feared would be a very difficult conversation.
“So, does this mean that Marmalade is mine now.”
"Is that what you got out of this?” Stellan shook his head, very visibly amused.
“It’s need-to-know information, Dad. If she's mine, I'm giving her a middle name."
"She has one."
Indie looked up at me. "No way. What is it?"
"Marmalade Mae."
"My middle name idea was better. Peanut Butter."
“We can change it. I don’t think I’ve ever called her full name. It was the name she had been given at the shelter.”
“Marmalade Peanut Butter it is. We're officially a family now… no backsies."
“No backsies.” I held out my pinky, and the two of us pinky promised.