Chapter 50
LONDON
Once Olivia turned onto Anderson Ranch, beautiful farmland stretched out as far as the eye could see. I always forgot how gorgeous it was out here until I came back.
Clusters of dark green trees occasionally broke up miles of yellow-green pastures, rolling hills were dotted with cattle, and fields of wildflowers offered pops of color in between.
Horses galloped in the distance, carrying cowboys who had been in this line of work for generations while others—horses, not cowboys—neighed from the stables and paddocks that were scattered all around.
The houses and lodges loomed up ahead, stone and timber structures that had been built by the bare hands of the Andersons that had come before. If I wasn’t mistaken, Charlie, his dad, and his brothers had built one or two of these themselves too.
It was pretty freaking cool. A whole different world of history, family, tradition, and ranching—and it was also now my sister’s home. I leaned forward between the two seats and pulled my sunglasses off.
“Dorothy, we’re definitely not in New York anymore,” I muttered.
Olivia chuckled. “Definitely not. Do you know that sometimes I don’t even really remember what it was like living there?”
“Same,” I agreed quietly, my gaze glued to the wide open spaces and the feeling of country-style freedom.
I’d become rather accustomed to it while I’d been living here, and while Florida had the beautiful beaches and the ocean, there were always other houses or neighbors around. It wasn’t like that out here on the ranch.
It was different, and if I was being completely honest, I’d admit to feeling like even I could breathe a little easier out here.
Everything just seemed a little simpler.
A little clearer. Not even all the stuff with Liam seemed as heavy or as complicated all the way out here in the heart of agricultural life and nature.
“You’re both insane,” Abigail said with a big smile on her lips. “Don’t get me wrong, Texas and Florida are great, but New York is home. I mean, come on.”
I thought it over for a beat before I shrugged. “I still miss it, but not as much as you might think. It’s too fast.”
“Too big,” Olivia added.
“Too loud,” I said. “Oh, and there are way too many people everywhere.”
“Absolutely.” Liv nodded.
Abi laughed and rolled her eyes. “You two have gone soft on me. Whoever would’ve thought that I’d turn out to be the most hardened New Yorker between us?”
“No one,” I decided out loud, winking at her when she looked at me. “You’re really still happy there then, with Simon?”
A light went on in her eyes that told me everything I needed to know. “I’m so happy that I still have to pinch myself sometimes to make sure it’s all real. We went through it for a long time, but we came out the other side together and stronger than ever.”
“How’s it been, working on Fit Gal with him?” Liv asked, glancing at Abi as she rolled to a stop in front of her house. “Has his dad been behaving himself?”
“Better than I ever knew he could.” Abi smiled and reached for her door handle. “George has actually become really supportive and very sweet to me. Fit Gal is going great too. I really don’t have anything to complain about.”
Charlie came walking out of the house as we climbed out of the truck, opening his arms to hug both me and Abigail. He chuckled as he pulled us into him. “All the Walkers together again. Lord have mercy on all the rest of us.”
I laughed, squeezing him tightly and feeling right at home with him even though he wasn’t family by blood. The truth was that I was always happy to see my brother-in-law and he really had become like a full-blown brother to me. “We’ll be on our best behavior.”
“Which means only staying up giggling until two a.m. and not three,” Abi said. “Now, it’s great to see you and all, but where’s our niece?”
“Fast asleep in the main house with my mom, I’m afraid. You’ll see her later, though. Don’t worry. She might just find her way into one of your beds tonight too.”
Abigail released him, the softest look on her face as she regarded him like she was about to make him swear a blood oath. “Charlie Anderson, don’t you play games with me. If you’re promising me a night of cuddling with that baby, you’d better deliver.”
“You might be singing a whole different tune if she’s keeping you up at midnight.” He turned to me. “What about you? You’re not going to have a fist fight over who gets to cuddle with her, are you?”
“Me?” I shook my head. “I’d never raise my fists to my sisters. I’ll just snag her out of Abi’s bed once they’re both asleep. Work smart, not hard.”
“I’ll lock the door,” she threatened jokingly, then doubled back to the truck to help offload all our stuff.
Thankfully, Charlie was there to help with my suitcase, and after he’d picked on me for how heavy and full it was too, he took it up to my bedroom. Abigail and I were on the top floor of his house, where the guest rooms were, and once he’d left me to settle in, I drifted over to the window.
I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed Texas until we’d gotten back here, and Liam’s excitement from this morning suddenly made a whole lot more sense to me.
I stood in front of the windows looking out over the ranch, the grass rustling on a gentle breeze and the sky a shade of blue I swore just didn’t exist anywhere else.
Liam’s grin after he’d woken me up flashed through my mind and I felt my heart skip in response to the memory. Those beautiful blue-green hazel eyes had been so alive and full of joy, his full lips constantly edged up at the corners.
I suddenly found myself wondering just how hard it’d been for him to leave here after thinking he was back for good. We hadn’t really spoken about it. Shit, what if he decides he wants to work for his father so he can move back here permanently after all?
I knew exactly how much he hated the idea of working in his family business, but I also knew how much he loved Texas. His heart belonged to this land first and the thought of him potentially deciding to stay made my own stall in my chest.
My eyes slid shut and I inhaled a deep, deep breath, focusing on filling my lungs with air and releasing it slowly. When I reopened my eyes, a bird was soaring across the sky in front of my window and I smiled.
I love this place too, but I’d never stay when there’s so much adventure out there. Neither will Liam.
Feeling a little more centered and confident, I headed downstairs and met my sisters in the kitchen. Olivia smiled when I walked in, holding a bottle of water by its cap and pointing it at me. “We’re going for a walk. You’re going to need this.”
“No kidding,” I said. “I’d forgotten how hot it gets here. Are you sure a walk is a good idea? Maybe we should go for a swim in the creek instead?”
“We’re going to earn the swim.” Abigail was already on her feet, her own water in hand and she looked ready to go. “I’ve really, really missed running on this farm. I can’t wait to get out there.”
“You never can,” I grumbled. I loved my sisters more than anything. I always felt like I had to be a total baddie unless I was with them or Liam. I truly adored these women, but Abi had a running problem.
She didn’t even mind the intense sweat she worked up. I preferred stuff like yoga, but that wasn’t an option right now, so I accepted the water from Liv and followed Abi to the front door.
The heat washed over me as soon as we left their porch, but it felt good baking on my skin, like it was melting all the stresses and worries of the last few weeks away.
As we walked, strolling through the fields and looking at some the animals the Andersons were raising, goats, cows, sheep, and horses, Abi told us more about the Fit Gal account she’d won for the New York branch and Olivia raved about being a mother.
Eventually, when both of them turned to me, I sighed and decided to just come right out with it and ask their advice. “Okay, so now that you know, what should I do about Liam? Do I lean in and risk everything? Or should I back off and try to distance myself?”
“Why would you do that?” Abi asked.
At the same time, Olivia arched an eyebrow at me. “How would you do that?”
“I’m not sure about the how since we’re technically still living together for the next couple months, but I could try.
As for the why…” I trailed off and waved hello at one of Charlie’s brothers, who was on a tractor a few paddocks away.
I collected my thoughts before I looked back at my sisters.
“I need to preserve our friendship. The only way I can think of to keep it out of harm’s way is by abandoning all hope of anything else. ”
“Would that help?” Olivia asked. “The way I see it, if you want more and he wants more, then give it a try. It’s not like your friendship is going to get through it unscathed when you’re both not-so-secretly pining for the other.”
“I’ll answer your question with a question,” Abi said, her voice quiet with thought before her gaze sharpened on mine. “Do you love him?”
My heart stuttered and tripped, my extremities going cold with shock. But not because of the question. I’d known that was coming, either from her, Lori, or Liv.
The part that was threatening to break my brain was that the answer that came to me straight away wasn’t the one I’d been expecting. Knowing that the lines were blurred and feelings were getting involved was a long way from love.
Shit. Love?
Just thinking about it made me want to smile, though. Does that mean…?
Olivia put her hands on my shoulders and looked deep into my eyes with a strange sense of peace reflected from her own. “It’s okay. We already know the answer to that.”
I finally let the smile break free but only for a second. “No matter what my feelings have grown into, I feel like I should try one more time to back off. If he lets that happen or he doesn’t lean in, then that’s the actual answer we need.”
Her hands dropped away from my shoulders, but I saw understanding crossing her features.
“You want him to say that he wants you. You don’t want to have to risk it all only to be rejected on top of everything else.
I get that, but just be careful. I almost lost Charlie once because I didn’t want to put myself or my pride on the line. ”
I thought back to those early days of their relationship, knowing exactly what she was talking about. “You always did have a way of being blunt, but I will be careful. I promise.”
Abi reached out and squeezed my hand. “Follow your heart, but take your brain with you. That’s a saying for a reason, Lo. Remember it, okay?”
I’d witnessed these two incredible women fighting for what they wanted and they’d both walked away with epic love stories because they’d won. Glancing between them, I realized that maybe I should take their advice to heart.
Maybe love and happily-ever-afters weren’t only reserved for the lucky few who’d figured out how to balance it all.
Maybe there was a way in which I could have it too, and maybe, if I was lucky, I would get to have my best friend in the world along for the ride.