Chapter 51
LIAM
Itipped my head back under the cool spray of the shower and rubbed my palms over my face, washing away the sweat and sunscreen of the day. After the driving range, the guys and I had played a round of golf, and eventually, I’d gotten them off my back about London.
I knew they were right, though. It was time to either jump on the train or leave the station.
As things were, I was getting more attached to her by the day and that was a dangerous game to be playing. I squeezed shampoo into my hands and lathered up. Washing my hair, I sorted it all through in my head.
I’d started this arrangement of ours several steps ahead of her in the feelings department, and at this point, she wasn’t much of a just friend to me anymore. If we called this thing quits, I already wasn’t sure how I’d be able to go back. If I’d be able to go back.
Watching her try with other guys had been painful in the past, but it would gut me now. I was in too deep. We’d had a few rounds of almost getting together, of talking honestly and potentially deciding to take the leap, but she’d gotten cold feet every time.
Most recently, she’d done it by going so far as to admit that the lines were getting blurred, but instead of even asking if it was the same for me, she’d decided that we end things. She’d unilaterally made the decision that the last time had, in fact, been the last time.
Being friends with benefits had been so damn fun and I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted any other woman, but she had to want it too. Or I had to move on.
My friends loved me enough to be honest about it. While their incessant warnings could be annoying, I’d realized today that it had been necessary for me to hear it. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life as some love-sick puppy dog who was hung up on a woman who only wanted me as a friend.
Even as a friend with a dick who knew what to do with it. Not that I’d minded that part.
Shit, it had been the best sex of my life and I already knew I would be spending the rest of it getting off to those memories, but that couldn’t be it for me. It wasn’t enough anymore—if it ever had been.
I couldn’t stay stuck where we were and I couldn’t go back. Groaning into the water running in rivulets over my face, I shook my head and turned to switch off the spray.
For now, the situation with London was going to have to wait. I had dinner with my sister coming up this evening, and after what she’d said the other night, I was apprehensive about whatever it was she needed to tell me.
I climbed out of the shower in my en-suite bathroom at the house I shared with my friends. Since I owned the place, I had the master bedroom, but I was starting to wonder if I should let one of the others move into it.
The last few days, I’d really been wondering when I’d ever be living here full-time again and the truth was that it might only be when I retired. I had no clue, but it wasn’t fair to keep the biggest bedroom for myself if it was just going to be standing empty.
I sighed, wrapping a towel around my hips and striding out into my bedroom. Country is for Me, a song by an Australian dude named James Johnston, was playing over the speaker in the corner and I mouthed along to the lyrics, pretending to be strumming a guitar on my way to my closet.
Singing under my breath, I dressed in fresh Levi’s and another T-shirt, then donned my boots again and headed out. The boys were having ribs and wings at a bar nearby, but I’d promised Isabella I’d meet her for tacos at our favorite spot.
So excited to see her that I wasn’t even sad about missing out on sticky ribs, I jumped in my truck and drove to the neighborhood where she lived—not far away from my parents’ house. At that thought, my excitement soured a little bit, but then I remembered that I didn’t have to see them. Only her.
My sister was a total boss lady who didn’t take shit from anybody, but she’d always had a soft spot for me. Most days, she was the only person in my family that I could tolerate.
Dad was a hardass who’d had kids so that he could control who his company went to when he died. Mom wasn’t as bad, but the fact that she’d never once stood up to him didn’t sit right with me. Personally, I couldn’t imagine having kids and refusing to let them carve their own paths in life.
Isabella was already waiting when I got to the taco joint, a food truck set up on the outskirts of a park with plastic tables and chairs set out right on the grass.
My sister looked so out of place in her stylish, tailored suit, her jet black hair swept into a stern updo, and her makeup heavy and dark.
But she’d already kicked her heels off under the table, and when she smiled, the whole damn world lit up with her.
Pride surged through me. That’s my big sister, folks. If it wasn’t for her, God only knows how I’d have turned out in this little life of ours.
“Bella!” I grinned as I cut across the lawn to her. She stood up and I scooped her up in my arms.
I squeezed her tight, inhaling the spice and vanilla scent of her. A thousand memories washed over me. Bella cooked the best chili and baked the best cookies, and it was like she’d used those two things as inspiration when she’d chosen the perfume that had become her signature scent.
I grinned against her hair. “Man, you are a sight for sore eyes.”
“You only just realized how much you missed me,” she said. “That’s it, isn’t it?”
“Totally.” I laughed and set her down, making a big show of looking her over for any obvious signs of injury. “It’s good to see you’re still in one piece. Dad hasn’t been requiring daily pounds of flesh, huh?”
She chuckled, taking a step back and letting her sea-green eyes run over me. “I see London hasn’t torn you to shreds yet either. Not physically, anyway. How’s your heart doing, baby boy?”
“It’s fine.” I waved her off and lowered myself into the plastic lawn chair opposite hers. She’d already ordered a soda for me and I grabbed it gratefully. “How about you? What’s new in your life?”
“You do know that when you try to move away from a subject too fast, people realize that you’re trying to avoid it, right?” She looked into my eyes. The sun set behind her. She had a curious furrow in her brow. “What’s going on with you and London?”
“Why is that one of the first questions everyone asks me?”
Her eyebrows jumped up. “You’re no idiot, Liam. Don’t pretend to be. We ask because we care, and again, if you’re so obvious about trying to avoid a subject, it’s a dead giveaway that we should be pressing. So, what exactly is it that you’re avoiding?”
After taking a long swallow of my soda and relishing the sharp bubbles running down my throat, I wondered if I should level with her. Bella was a straight shooter and she’d known London as long as I had.
Plus, she didn’t worry quite as much as my friends. She knew I could hold my own—and that I’d make my own decisions either way. Hell, she’d been right there next to me during the showdown of the century when I’d made that deal with my dad.
“I think it’s time to go all in or walk away,” I finally confessed, knowing I didn’t need to give her any more explanations or context than that. “I don’t think I can keep doing the in-between. I don’t know if I want to. As much as I don’t want to lose her, I can’t keep living like this.”
Bella stared back at me without flinching. There was no surprise on her features and her eyes didn’t even widen. If I hadn’t known my sister as well as I did, I might’ve been offended by her lack of effort in not even pretending to be surprised, but I did know her.
Isabella would’ve seen this coming from a mile away—just like everyone else in my life, it seemed. In fact, it was starting to feel like I was the only one who’d expected us to go to Miami, live together, and that nothing would change.
“What’s this telling you?” She brought a hand to her heart and tapped it. “Go all in, or walk away?”
I scoffed. “That dang organ is so invested in her that I don’t think it’s the right one to be listening to.”
She smiled. “Well, it’s either that, your brain, or the other appendage, and that’s not reliable at all. Where’s your head at then, Liam?”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I want it, Bella. I want it all with her so bad I can taste it, but I don’t know where her head is at, and until I do, I’m not sure it matters what I think.”
“It’s always matters.” She placed gentle emphasis on the word, but her chin came down and her expression hardened. “You matter, Liam. What you want matters. Never forget that.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, but that doesn’t make her say yes if I ever offer her a ring.”
“No, it doesn’t, and I’ll be here for you no matter which way it goes, but if that’s what you want, go for it. If it backfires, it backfires.”
“It’s not that simple, though. If it backfires, my entire career could go up in smoke. Hell, my entire life could.” I paused when the owner of the food truck came by to say hi and take our orders.
They didn’t generally serve people here. You had to go to the counter to order and to grab your food, but Emile always made a point of coming over when we were here. Bella and I put a pin in our conversation, getting up to shake his hand and exchange back-thumping hugs—in my case, anyway.
When he left us alone again, she turned to me and I could tell just from the look in her eyes that I was going to hate what she said next. “Your career with Walker and Co could go up in smoke, but not your entire life, baby brother. You’ve still got me. Still got us.”
“Yeah, I know.” I sat back down and shook my head. “I still don’t want that, though. I can’t work for him, Bella. Even if I did, you’d have to make weekly visits to a prison if you wanted to see me because I would go away for attempted murder within a month.”
She smiled softly, an indulgent sweep of her lips before she shook her head at me. “He’s changed in the last few weeks, Liam.”
I snorted. “Really? No way. Come on. What are you even saying? He’s been one way our entire lives. Then I go off to Miami, and suddenly, he’s a different person?”
“Yes, but it’s not because you went to Miami. We had some tough conversations and there was a health scare. It’s nothing serious and he’s fine, but he’s been humbled.”
“Yeah, for how long?” My defenses were coming up and they were moving fast. “Maybe the old man is feeling a little fragile this week, but that will never last. As soon as the shock of whatever this health scare was fades, he’ll be back to his tyrannical self.”
“Not this time.” Bella drew in a breath so deep that I heard it, then released it slowly.
That look that had been in her eyes before darkened, letting me know that she was as serious as black dye in someone’s shampoo.
“Just talk to him while you’re here and hear him out.
Please? For me? He’s not all bad and not nearly as controlling. Especially now.”
I sighed, but she and I both knew that when she asked me like that, I would cave. Eventually. “Fine. I’ll think about it, but don’t hold your breath. The man is a bully and he doesn’t give a shit about anyone but himself and his legacy.”
Bella held my gaze, something flickering in hers that made my resolve waver a little.
“Give him a chance, Liam. Things have changed. He’s changed.
I’m not saying that you should quit your job with Nathan and come straight home to us.
All I’m saying is that maybe, if you ever wanted to do that, talking to Dad now would set your mind at ease. ”