Zander #2
I shake my head at the stupid track my thoughts are going down.
She would have been banging down my door, wanting financial assistance, if that was her endgame.
Instead, she’s been cagey about the boy’s parentage even after he pinged my radar, not once looking for a handout.
So, what does she want, and how can I use that desire to my advantage?
The answer comes to me slowly, a mist-shrouded cityscape revealed as tendrils of fog roll away, exposing the very real brick and mortar colossus that was always there, yet undetectable until you reached its edges.
Oh, fuck me. I can’t. Not that. Despite my internal protests, I know with certainty what route I need to take, and it fucking kills me to admit that Payton had the right idea, and I knew it all along.
What pissed her off the most after our trip, despite knowing the score going into it?
What has she brought up more than once at this point about the situation that fucked with her head?
She wanted a fucking relationship. She wanted that happily ever after I never promised, but she could see so clearly.
She wanted the forever, even I felt could have been ours, that had me running for the hills and blocking every chase route she could have attempted because it was too real.
So, how do I unfuck the situation I carefully removed myself from and let swirl down the drain? One. Fucking. Step. At a time.
“Goddammit, I have to get my woman back.”
When Harlowe pulls into her driveway, about fifteen minutes after I arrive, I’m ready to start this process.
Ready to get through the cracks in her defenses and work my way into her life.
She walks back down the driveway to stare at my car with fists on her hips, challenging me to make my move while I have a chance.
Her face registers recognition, disbelief, and finally, resolution as I climb from the sleek electric car and walk up to meet her.
I’m mesmerized by the valkyrie that meets me in the driveway, dark eyes flashing in calculation.
Her hair is in a messy bun on her head, no makeup on her stunning, flushed face, her body clad in tight workout clothes still stained with the sweat from her trip to the gym.
Her body looks even more incredible like this and it takes everything I have not to walk right up to her, grab that amazing ass, and haul her up my body.
She didn’t even try and still managed to have the advantage here, setting me back with her raw beauty and powerful presence that has me wanting to bow at her feet and beg her forgiveness.
“I tried calling.” My voice vibrates with promise and expectation.
“I left you messages, but your voicemail box is full now, and you didn't answer my texts,” I say, hands slightly raised in front of me like I’m approaching a skittish feral cat.
She could bolt at any second before I can deploy the Trojan horse I’m hoping gets me into her guarded citadel of a life.
She smirks, the smile cruel. “How does it feel to be on the other side of the line when all you want is to have your calls and texts answered by someone and you can’t reach them?
” She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her ample chest, covering the sports bra that is peeking out from under a light jacket.
“I’m surprised you kept my number this time around after blocking me years ago.
And since when does not answering a text or call mean you should just stop by? ”
“I need to talk to you, Lowe. You owe me that, at the very least.”
She stalks toward me, anger narrowing her eyes like I'm the only thing she sees and she wants to destroy me.
“I owe you?” she repeats. “No.” She shakes her head and her look hardens.
“I don't owe you shit, and I never asked for anything from you,” she says for good measure, stabbing a finger into my chest. “When it was me trying to talk to you, you decided I wasn't worth your time or energy, I wasn't worth knowing. You cut me out of your life faster than you buy and sell businesses. It doesn’t matter what came of me after you had your fill.” She pushes her palms against my chest and shoves futilely with a frustrated wail before backing up a step when I don't budge. “Why do you get to show up and demand an audience with me and get the outcome you want, now?” The words burst from her, a broken dam that can’t hold back the frustration, the uncertainty, the fear and loneliness she must have experienced after I cut her off.
My chest grows tight where her hands just were, shame walking cold fingers down my spine as it finally hits me what my rules have done to her. Possibly to countless other women. Selfishness has always felt so noble and good when I saw it through the lens of my own happiness and conquests.
“You don’t understand. I had to make the break,” I say, my words tense and strained with the horror of the wreckage I’ve left in my wake for years.
I knew I couldn’t let anything remain between us after the trip.
It was agony, watching what that did to her, what I did to her, and having to keep a straight face, to lie to her and tell her she meant nothing to me.
All I wanted was to scoop her into my lap, bury my face in her neck, and tell her we did have a forever because I would be hers until I took my last breath.
But it was the truth when I told her the man she wanted didn’t exist outside of that island and I wasn’t good enough for her.
She laughs bitterly. “I understand just fine. You wanted to use me. You needed company so you wouldn’t get bored in paradise.
You wanted a willing body to stick your cock in.
You didn’t want anything other than a distraction from your life that was far more important than a relationship or a person.
You may have sold me a beautiful lie, but I realized the truth of who you were fast enough.
You became a completely different person on the flight home.
No need to tell me what I do or don’t understand. I’m not stupid.”
We’re circling each other, predators evaluating weaknesses and looking for the right moment to make a killing blow. This isn't going how I planned, and I have to get it back on track or this will have all been for nothing.
“I never said you were stupid, and I never lied to you. You don't know me at all. And from how crazy you’re acting now, I may have dodged a bullet back then by doing what was necessary,” I fire back, spitting the words out like rapidly thrown knives to pierce her back as my self-perception crumbles around me.
I realize my error of letting my anger lead as her eyes go wide.
Fuck. That wasn’t the tactic I should have taken.
“Dodged a bullet?” she hisses. “You’re calling me crazy because I don’t like that you showed up at my house after five years, demanding I listen to you?
Insisting that I owe you my time and you deserve my consideration when you blocked my number and sent your brother to escort me out of your office building when I tried to talk to you?
” she scoffs. “Maybe I would have listened had you manned up and talked to me after that trip, but no, you cut me off and waited all these years to try to explain yourself. You’re still just an entitled rich boy who has no idea what it takes to be a man. ”
She raises a hand between us, palm out to stop any rebuttals.
I catch it in mine and step into her space, feeling her heat, both her anger that sparks and pops like a wildfire, and the feel of her body as it stumbles into mine.
She yanks to pull away, but I don't release her.
I want to crush her against me, feel her body mold to mine, and crash my mouth down on hers, no matter how angry we are.
“You know exactly how much of a man I am,” I growl, low and dangerous, sensual heat pouring from us both even as she fights to keep her composure.
She sneers at me, not taking the bait. “Yes, I know what kind of man you are.” She gives me a cruel smile, eyes narrowing. “You’re a man who walls himself off from connection, who refuses to take responsibility, and runs as fast as he can from something good because it got under his skin.”
I growl in frustration and tip my head back, absently pulling her closer to me with a crushing insistence.
When I lower my head and fix my eyes on her, I see a heat in her molten chocolate pools that makes me shiver in anticipation.
This is the fighter I know. This is the walking temptation that puts fire in my blood.
“Finally, little Wildcat, something you got right,” I seethe, stepping even closer.