Zander #3
We’re chest to chest and she’s not moving away and my hands are on her waist now, holding her to me. She tips her head back to meet my eyes, her hands on my chest, gripping my shirt tightly instead of pushing me away as she breathes just as heavily.
“You did get under my skin,” I grit out.
“You burrowed so deep it took years to pull you out, bit by bit. Do you know how often I still look around when I hear a laugh that sounds like yours, searching for you? Every time I smell coconuts, I think of your damn sunscreen and the feel of your skin under my fingers.” I close my eyes and feel a muscle in my jaw tic as I lean my face into hers, my nose against her cheek as my lips find her ear, and inhale her scent deeply.
“You weren’t supposed to stick with me. You were a short-term investment, but you had long-term consequences,” I bite out quietly, anger coursing through the words in a shocking cascade of confession I never expected to reveal, not to her, or myself.
I pull back to watch as she schools the shock that widens her eyes and tries not to let me see.
“I’m nobody’s short-term anything, Zander,” she spits right back at me, holding onto her own righteous anger.
“I’m a forever investment, and my life isn't yours to play with.” She twists free from my grip and steps back, out of my heat and the closeness that melded our bodies together.
“It’s time for you to leave. There’s nothing for you here.
No one you need to worry your pretty little head about. ”
“Harlowe, he’s my son.” I hear the catch in my voice as I acknowledge what has to be the truth, speaking the words low and with a fair amount of pleading for her to give me this.
“Let me be a part of his life and let me into yours. I’ll take care of everything, make sure he’s always provided for.
” I make a dive off the course I set, going to what feels comfortable when I’m negotiating, and that’s upping the stakes to get the other party to agree to my terms.
She pauses to turn around slowly from her walk back up the drive. She levels me with the most serious I will fuck you up if you come for my child stare.
“He’s not your son. He’s mine, and I can provide for him just fine on my own.
He doesn’t have a father, just a sperm donor that I made a mistake of letting close to me.
You don't have to concern yourself with me or Hendricks. Don’t worry, I don't want anything from you, not your money, not your acknowledgment, and certainly not you wanting to play father now when it's convenient for you.” The exhaustion and trepidation that coats her words gives them a low, sticky quality that will be impossible to wash clean.
I can see the fire in her has gone out, and instead of feeling victorious, it takes it out of me, as well.
Neither of us wants to be fighting in her driveway.
“I’m not done with you, Harlowe.” My words are a heated declaration rather than a threat.
I will make her see reason, let me in and work with me, not against me.
I follow her up the cracked concrete driveway until all that separates us is the threshold of the garage, the door hanging above us, a guillotine poised to sever all the threads weaving us together again.
She blinks quickly, her thick lashes sweeping over the dark circles below her warm chocolate eyes telling me how tired of this she is. “You’re five years too late, Zander.”
My heart clenches with her words and I feel the anger flood out of me, leaving just my desperation behind. My brain finally catches up, and I remember what my whole purpose was for coming here before I got caught up in fighting with her.
“It’s the right time to try again, Lowe.
Differently this time. You and me. Not just for a weekend, or a few weeks.
You and I both know we’re perfect together,” I say, reaching out a hand and letting my thumb skim her cheek.
“I’ll be the man you need me to be. You’re all mine, Lowe.
Forever, remember?” I say, going for broke, pulling out the most painful memory from the vault, the one that burns as I rip it free and throw it at her feet.
It’s my heart that she stole and I had to cut out when I boarded the jet to come home.
The very heart I locked away and vowed never to need again.
Yet here it is, still beating solely for her, bruised and bloody as it may be.
I watch the shine of tears form in her eyes as she clicks the remote in her hand, sending the garage door trundling slowly down between us.
“You told me forever was a lie, Zander. You were never mine to have.”
I see the hitch of a sob part her lips when I have to lower my arm to avoid the door, and catch a stray tear streaking down her cheek as it obscures her face, erasing her body, and finally cuts us off completely.
“I’ll be here when you’re ready,” I say to the closed door, hoping she’s still just on the other side, listening.
That woman. She’s infuriating. She’s infatuating. She could be my most epic downfall.
It takes me several moments after her garage is shut to get my feet to move away. It takes longer to admit that she may have won this battle, but the war is still mine to win.