35. Thirty-five
Walking up to Harlowe’s door tonight feels like I’m beginning again. Not just walking away from who I was in the past, but piling up all the shitty pieces—the fuckboy who slips into DMs, the guy who was afraid of attachments, the douche who didn”t do repeats, the hothead who wants to blame others, the man who would rather break the heart of the woman he loves than change his life for her—and setting them all on fire so I can never become that person again.
Each step toward her house feels lighter as I let them go and look forward to the man I want to be. A man of my word. A man who shows up, who sticks around, who has some fucking integrity and knows what’s important in this world. I know, now. God, I fucking know.
I set my bag down and ring the bell, shifting the bouquet in my hands as I wait for the door to open. It’s about time I do this the right way. No you up calls or texts in the middle of the night. No showing up and expecting to be let in with selfish intent. I’m bringing the fucking romance, because that is what my little Wildcat deserves. The best of me, and the best in this life.
“Hi, sorry I’m a mess. I’ve been cooking for hours,” Harlowe says, opening the door. “Oh!” She covers her mouth when she sees the giant bouquet of tropical flowers.
I made sure it was full of flowers we saw in the Maldives; orchids, plumerias, birds of paradise, and more I can”t even name. They’re pretty, but she puts them all to shame with how fucking gorgeous she is. Her cheeks are flushed, caramel skin glowing. Her dark hair is wavy and loose around her shoulders and I want to thread my fingers into the soft locks right at the nape of her neck and pull it tight as I drive my cock deep inside of her and fill her with my cum, making more of our pretty little babies.
“Hey, Lowe,” my voice is a low purr that pours in from the dark. “You look amazing. These are for you.” I hold out the flowers.
She takes them as she steps back from the door and lets me in, shaking her head and smiling radiantly. “Flowers and compliments? What is this, a date?”
I pick up my bag and follow her in, shutting the door behind me. “Fuck yes, it is. I’m going to date you every chance I get. Each day I get with you is going to be special. I squandered the last five years I could’ve had you in my arms. There’s no way in hell I’m wasting another one thinking it’s ordinary if I get to have you in it.”
“Language,” she admonishes quietly, nodding her head toward the living room. “We have little ears listening, and he’s a sponge that happens to like repeating what he hears.”
She leads us toward the kitchen, and I feel like an asshole. Of course, the first thing I do is wrong. I look into the living room as we pass and see Hendricks on the floor in the middle of a pile of Legos and toys, thankfully absorbed in his creations and oblivious to us.
“I’m already messing up this father thing. I’m sorry, Lowe.” I keep my voice quiet but I can”t keep the note of panic from creeping into it. I can close multi-million-dollar deals, speak to international business associates with authority, and schmooze literal kings and heads of state with ease, but I don”t know what to do with a four-year-old kid.
She laughs. “Don’t look so horrified. I slip up occasionally, too. You’ll get used to it. I don”t expect you to jump right in and know what to do.” I feel a bit of relief wash over me, but I’m going to do better. No swearing when my kid can hear.
Harlowe bends down and opens a cabinet, pulling out a vase for the bouquet. I set my bag down by the island before I come up behind her as she fills it with water and circle my arms around her waist.
“It smells amazing in here, but you smell even better.” I run my nose along her neck, inhaling her coconut and floral scent, and she shivers against me. “Fuck, I missed you today,” I whisper, quiet enough so Hendricks is sure not to hear. My hands slip under the hem of her shirt, finding her soft skin and stroking gently. She sighs and leans back against me.
The oven timer goes off, the beeping startling us both and we jump apart like scolded teens. I laugh and she spins to turn it off, grabbing oven mitts off the counter.
“You should say hi to Hendricks before we get carried away in here. He was asking about you today. I told him you would be coming over more and I really like you.” She pulls a bubbling dish of lasagna out of the oven and sets it on the island to cool. She turns back to me and arches an eyebrow. “The observant little nugget said it was because you two have matching eyes and that”s why I like you.” She looks up at me with a rare shy look and I want to take her chin in my hand and kiss it off her face. “I… told him you’re his father.” She looks at me, seeking approval, and I do take her face now, holding her with the reverence she deserves for this act of benevolence.
“Thank you, baby. That means everything to me.”
She turns her face into my hand and kisses my palm before she pulls away and smiles. “He wants to have a sleepover now and thinks if I make you chocolate chip pancakes you’ll never leave.”
I feel a smile taking over my face and bet it looks cocky as hell. “He’s right. You feed me and I’m sticking around for good.” I pull her back into his arms and kiss her hard, taking a handful of her delicious ass in the exchange for good measure before I set her back on her feet and turn toward the living room. “Hey, Boss, I heard you were asking about me.”
“Zan man!” Hendricks shouts, leaping up from his toys and sprinting across the room.
He launches his little body into my outstretched arms. I catch him, bringing him close, and hug him tight like this is our normal greeting, not the second time we have seen each other. I close my eyes and bury my nose in Hendricks’s curls, breathing in the smell of my son and cataloging it away for later. This is the same greeting Harlowe received the last time I was here, the one I was so jealous of. Fuck, it feels good to have the boy in my arms, welcoming me in the same way, and I feel the unfamiliar sting of tears hit me. Am I going to break down over this?
“I missed you, buddy,” I say as I sit down with Hendricks still in my arms, not ready to let him go. “I’m sorry I couldn’t come to play earlier; I was busy at work. I changed my schedule so that won’t happen too much anymore, and I’ll have lots of time to play now. Sound good?”
Hendricks nods, his eyes sparkling. “Mama says our eyes match and I’m smart like you because you’re my daddy.” He holds his hand up to his mouth and leans toward my ear. “Can you tell me if you have powers like a superhero? I’ll keep your secrets, I promise.”
Hearing him call me daddy does something stupid to me inside that I have to laugh to cover as I look at his eager face. “My only power is negotiating business deals, and while that’s super handy for work, I can’t fight crime, and I don’t have any special abilities like Thor or Iron Man. But maybe I have the power to make your mama fall in love with me. Do you think I can do that?”
I look over my shoulder toward the kitchen and catch Harlowe looking away from us quickly, pretending to be busy with the vegetable dish she’s preparing. Hendricks sits up taller and looks with me.
“I can help. Mama loves me, so it’ll be easy. Is that your bag? Are we having a sleepover tonight?”
He bounces on my knees in excitement and my chest goes molten, my pulse surging in a way that feels better than anything I’ve felt in a long time. This kid can take me higher than skydiving, just like his mama can. I may give up chasing the adrenaline rush with these two permanently in my life now.
“Yeah, buddy, I’m staying forever. Now, why don”t we put some work in on these tracks and towers before dinner so we can get a run in?”
Hendricks insists on sitting on my lap to eat, wanting Harlowe next to us. It’s not exactly easy to eat around a squirming four-year-old, but I can’t deny him. While I wait for him to finish eating before I begin, I hold Harlowe’s hand on the table, and when Hendricks places his little hand on top of the pile, Harlowe snaps a photo with her phone. When I give her a questioning look, she turns her phone around and shows me an Instagram post on her Foulmouthed Foodie page of all three of our hands together in focus with the lasagna in the background that she captioned Family Dinner feels good, even if it took five years to get it on the table.
My chest expands with pride that she would claim me so publicly, and I want to pull out my own phone and share that everywhere, as well. I want to delete every photo I have and make that the only one on my feed, my profile picture, my everything. I’ve already closed my DMs to anyone I’m not following, scrubbed out all the thots and models and women who had dropped into them over the years, and removed the temptations that don’t even get a rise out of me anymore. Not when I can look over at Harlowe and see my whole world in her eyes.
After dinner, Harlowe lets me help with bath and bedtime, bringing me into their nightly routine and showing me what I’ve been missing all these years. My heart aches with a fierceness at each new piece I get to experience, and when Hendricks looks up at me from his bed, his eyes that do indeed match mine, already looking sleepy, and tells me he loves me, I fucking shatter. I kiss his forehead and walk out of the room to wait for Harlowe to finish up with him.
I know he’s four and doesn’t understand the magnitude of the words that are just a part of his normal nightly routine that ends with saying he loves his mom, and tonight he loves me because I helped put him to bed. But it breaks down any last vestige of the man I was before I knew he existed. That person is decimated. Struck by lightning and burned to cinders and ash, scattered away on the wind, leaving someone new behind.
“Oh, Zander,” Harlowe says when she softly closes the door and finds me leaning against the wall in the hall. I let Harlowe lead me into her bedroom with silent tears sliding unchecked down my face. She closes the door and turns back to me, concern etching her gorgeous features.
I grip her face with an urgency in my shaking hands, making her look at me, at the raw emotion that is gripping my soul, forcing her to be in this place of newness with me.
“I don”t want to live another day without you in it. I fucking love you, Lowe, and I love that little boy we made, and I can’t get enough of either of you.”
She makes a choked sound and her eyes shine with tears. “That’s a lot to commit to so quickly. You don”t have to jump in this fast. You can feel it out. I’m okay with that.” She rubs her hands up my arms, letting me have an out, giving me space to work up to the man she needs me to be.
“When have you ever known me to work up to anything? I go hard and fast after anything I want. I happen to be looking at what I want more than anything in the whole world.”
I let go of her face and reach into my pocket to pull out the ring that’s been burning against my skin since I put it there before I got out of the car earlier. I drop to my knees because she deserves me worshiping at her feet, and she gasps, leaning down over me, starting to shake when she realizes the direction this is taking.
“Marry me, Lowe. I’ll wait for whenever you’re ready, but please, be my forever. Be my wife, the mother of my babies, the love of my fucking life. I’m serious. I can’t live another day without you by my side, making me the happiest man in the world.”
Harlowe collapses into my lap, letting me hold her close as she sobs on my shoulder, her arms around me just as tightly. She is nodding against me and I feel my chest swell with a feeling of utter elation. I stand and spin her around in my arms once, kissing her tear-stained face when she’s on her feet again. I slide my hand along her arm until I get to her fingers and bring them down between us, sliding the flawless, five-carat emerald-cut diamond set in platinum onto the third finger of her left hand. The main stone is set off with a diamond halo, the split band studded with even more diamonds, so everything sparkles almost as much as Harlowe does as she smiles up at me now.
“You do move fast,” she says wetly, but there is humor in her tone. I brush tears off her cheeks with my thumbs, letting one trail down over her bottom lip, pushing it into her mouth and over her tongue. I let her suck her tears off before I remove my thumb with a pop and drag it down her throat as she shivers under my touch.
“I should have done this five years ago, so no, it’s the slowest damn thing I’ve done in my life. Take everything off but my ring and let me fill you with my cum. We’ll see just how fast we can make another baby,” I say, my hands sliding down her back until I cup her ass and pull her against me so she can feel how I’m hardening for her.
Her eyes narrow with feline coyness. “If you want me naked, you’re going to have to undress me yourself.”
“There’s my little Wildcat coming out to play. How quiet do we have to be with our kid down the hall? Because you’re fucking loud when you come and if I have to stuff your panties in your mouth to keep you quiet, I need to keep those close by.” I slip my fingers under the hem of her shirt and lift it up and over her head as she raises her arms.
“I turned his white noise machine on and he’s a sound sleeper, plus we’re on the other side of the house. Fuck me as hard as you want,” she says, her fingers making quick work of the buttons on my shirt and tugging it off my shoulders.
I push the cups of the lace bra away from her incredible tits and get my hands onto the supple flesh below, rolling her dusky nipples in my fingers. “What if I wanted to make love to you instead? You’re still going to scream either way. Would you like that as much as me ruining your pretty little pussy?”
I toss her bra aside and slide my hands down her stomach to her jeans, popping the button and inching the zipper down. She’s already made quick work of my pants, leaving them at my ankles as I toe off my shoes. She shimmies out of her jeans and panties while I remove the rest of my clothes. I guess we both got anxious and stopped worrying about who took off what pieces of clothing.
“You can do whatever you want to me. I just need that incredible cock inside of me very, very soon,” she says, looking down at where it’s straining between us. She reaches out and strokes me, the diamond on her finger looking incredible as it moves up and down my shaft.
Her hand feels so good, but I can smell her arousal from here, and when I look down, her thighs are already slick with it. “Your dinner was delicious, but I want dessert now. I need you to ride my face and drown me in that sweet cunt.” Her eyes go wide as I take her hand and lead her to the bed, lying down and guiding her over me to straddle my shoulders. “Hold on to the headboard and let me feast, Lowe.”
“Zander, this is too much. You won’t be able to breathe. Let me just lie down,” she says, hovering over my chin as I breathe in her sweet aroma deeply and feel my cock harden to a steel rod. Fuck she smells good.
“Did I say I wanted to breathe? I said I wanted to drown in you. That means I want to eat out this sweet pussy and have you dripping down my face. Now sit and ride my face. The only words out of your mouth need to be my name, harder, and more.” I hook my arms under her thighs and grab her hips, supporting her and keeping her tight to my face as I lick along her seam and take in my first taste of her tonight. “Fuuuuuck,” I growl, the sound rumbling against her sensitive skin and eliciting a shiver through her whole body.
I flatten my tongue and swirl at her clit and she tentatively rocks her hips with the motion. I hum my approval and lap at her again before I drive my tongue inside and hear her sharp inhale and the moan that gets me. I fuck her with my tongue, letting her grind against my face as she finds a rhythm with her hips she likes.
“More,” she encourages, and I growl against her again.
I keep at her, moving to her clit and nipping the sensitive bundle with my teeth and getting a whimper, but she bears down harder on me and I smile at that. I suck on her clit and her thighs start to shake, her hips rocking with more force, and she goes rigid, her moans turning to shouts of pleasure. Her taste floods my mouth and I lap it up, letting her ride my face like the good girl she is.
I flip her onto her back before her waves have even finished and kiss her while she still coats my face. She kisses me back languidly, soft and sated with her release. “Best dessert I’ve ever had,” I tell her, kissing down her neck to her chest.
“I still want your cock in me,” she says, a smile turning up the corners of her mouth as she pushes up onto her elbows, following my path of kisses down her body.
When I’ve made it to her hips, I flip her over and raise her hips so the heart shape of her ass is invitingly spread for me, pussy on display, glistening and still dripping. “You want my cock in this needy little cunt?” I push a finger inside of her, feeling her inner muscles suck me in, wrapping me in her velvety heat. I pull it out and push in a second with it.
Harlowe stretches her arms out over her head on the bed and pushes her hips back against my fingers. I add a third finger and she gasps.
“Yes, I want you inside of me now. I want you filling me up so deeply I’ll never get you out.”
“I’m going to cum so deep inside of you, and so often, you’ll have my seed leaking down your thighs all the time. Is that what you want, baby?”
I twist my fingers and withdraw them from her pussy, which was starting to tremble, and she mewls. I don’t leave her empty for long as I notch myself at her entrance and push in, filling her as far as I can. She gasps, still not able to take me in all in one go.
“Fucking take my cock like a good girl. You’re made for this.” I rub my palm up her spine and she pushes back into me, relaxing around my girth, letting me slide in more.
“God, I love how you feel,” she moans, rocking back against me and wiggling her hips, making her ass jiggle in a way that has my eyes nearly rolling back in my head with need. I’m about to lose my load from that little motion alone. I grip her hips hard to still her movements and give myself a chance against her wiles.
“Lowe, goddamn, I’m obsessed with you. There is no comparison. You ruined me for anyone else a long time ago, but this is too much.” I look down and watch as I stretch her pussy, the way she greedily sucks me back in, how good our bodies look together. ”Fuck, baby, look at you taking me so well.” I roll her hips to the side and flip her over, moving her knees up to her shoulders, pushing my body tight to hers so I can look into her eyes as I drive in deep. She grabs my shoulders and holds me just as close.
“Oh, God, yes,” she moans, head tipped back as I hit her spot and rub her clit with my hips on each stroke.
“That’s right, I’ll be your God tonight and you’ll be my Goddess every day. I’ll worship you with my cock and my very fucking life.”
I rock my hips as her thighs begin to shake under me, her face flushed and delirious with lust as her muscles begin a butterfly soft trembling around my cock. I drop my mouth to her nipples, swirling my tongue around first one peaked bud until it’s straining, then the other. I suck one tight peak into my mouth, grazing my teeth along the sensitive flesh as I release it.
She gasps, eyes closing tight as her pussy clamps down on me, her orgasm barreling through her and wringing me tight as she screams her pleasure. Her nails rake down my shoulders and I take the pain to keep me grounded, but it ends up mixing with the pleasure and sends me tumbling with her over the edge. I pump my hips tight into her and explode, my release feeling cataclysmic and unending as her orgasm continues to squeeze me, her name ripped from my throat on a groan. Lightning flashes along my spine, my heart thundering in my chest as my pulse keeps up its staccato beat of Mine! Mine! Mine! when it comes to Lowe.
I gather her into my arms and roll to my side, staying inside of her and letting my cum spill around us both. I’ll bathe her myself later, but for now, she can wear it like my ring.
“We’re going to need a bigger house for all the babies I want with you,” I purr into her hair.
She sighs happily against my chest, and I can feel her cheek turning up with a smile. “I’ll let you find us a big house with more rooms as long as I can have a gorgeous kitchen with pretty natural light for my food photography.”
“Challenge accepted, little Wildcat. I’ll get you the biggest kitchen I can that’s good for taking photos of your food and thirst traps and all the rooms for our babies,” I promise.
She snorts out a laugh. “I caught the man my traps were set for. I won’t need to post them anymore.”
“Baby, you can post whatever the fuck you want to. I’ll be the first one liking that shit and bending you over whatever surface is closest when I find you to show you how much I appreciate it. It’s your brand and I fucking love it. Don’t change a thing about yourself, just keep embracing everything that makes you, you.”
“Oh, Zander,” she says softly, her hands coming to my face and tipping her forehead against mine before she kisses me gently. “I love you.”
My heart fucking aches with how much I love hearing her say those words to me. I never thought I’d get the chance to actually hear them from her after I intentionally broke her heart, and I’ll never be fully worthy of that love, but I’ll damn sure try to do her love justice now and every day she’ll let me.
“I love you so fucking much. Now and forever, Lowe.”