Chapter 37 #2
Lingling's mother appeared on the screen.
The elegant woman who had always carried herself with grace now looked years older.
Dark circles rested beneath her swollen eyes.
The smile she tried to give Orm never quite reached them.
It was the smile of a mother desperately trying to stay strong for everyone else while quietly breaking inside.
"Orm, sweetheart..."
Her gentle voice alone was enough to make Orm's eyes sting.
"Hello, Mom..."
Her lips trembled.
Neither of them spoke for several seconds.
Sometimes grief was too large for words.
Finally, Lingling's mother inhaled shakily.
"I wanted to give you an update."
Orm instinctively held her breath.
"She's... making progress."
The words brought a fragile flicker of hope.
"The therapist said she's beginning to open up little by little."
Orm's tears immediately welled.
"Really?"
Her voice cracked.
"She's getting better?"
"A little."
Lingling's mother nodded slowly.
"But it's still... very slow."
Orm clung tighter to her phone.
Like it was the only thing connecting her to Lingling.
"Mom..."
A sob escaped before she could stop it.
"Can I see her?"
Silence.
"Please..."
Her shoulders shook.
"I won't talk if that's what it takes."
"I won't go near her."
"I'll stay outside."
"I'll just look at her from afar..."
Another sob.
"I just... I just want to know she's real."
"I miss her so much."
"I miss her every second."
"I just want to see her, Mom..."
"Please..."
Lingling's mother's eyes immediately filled with tears.
She looked away for a moment before facing the camera again.
"Oh, sweetheart..."
Her voice trembled.
"If only love was enough..."
She wiped her tears.
"The doctors still don't recommend it."
Orm closed her eyes.
She already knew the answer.
But hearing it...
Still hurt.
"So... she's still having them?"
Lingling's mother nodded slowly.
"Yes."
"The seizures, the nightmares, the spacing out, sometimes she's crying without any reason."
"Whenever something reminds her of the past..."
"Whenever she accidentally sees a photograph..."
"Hears a familiar song..."
"Smells a perfume she used to know..."
Her voice cracked.
"...or remembers pieces of her old life..."
Orm's breathing became uneven.
"Her body reacts violently."
"The headaches become unbearable."
"Sometimes she collapses."
"Sometimes she screams because she can't understand why her heart hurts over a few memories of you."
The words pierced straight through Orm's chest.
Her knees gave out.
She fell onto the couch as though every ounce of strength had abandoned her.
Her fingers tightened around the phone until her knuckles turned white.
"It..."
Her voice barely existed.
"It hurts her... because of me?"
Lingling's mother immediately shook her head.
"No."
"This isn't your fault."
"But..."
She swallowed painfully.
"You are one of the strongest parts of the life her brain tried to buried."
"And every time that love tries to find its way back..."
"...her mind fights against it."
Orm covered her mouth.
Her entire body shook.
She imagined Lingling...
Clutching her head.
Falling.
Crying.
Unable to understand why her heart kept searching for someone.
It destroyed her.
"I should be there."
Orm whispered through broken sobs.
"When she's scared..."
"I should be the one holding her."
"When she's crying..."
"I should be the one wiping her tears."
"When she's in pain..."
"I should be the one taking that pain away."
She lowered her head.
"But I can't."
"I can't even see her."
"I can't even tell her I love her."
Lingling's mother was crying too.
"We're doing this because we want her to heal. I want you to heal too."
"I know."
Orm nodded weakly.
"Have you taken your medications too as prescribed by your therapist?"
"Yes. I don't forget.."
"But knowing doesn't make it hurt any less."
When the call finally ended, the house became unbearably silent once more.
Orm remained sitting there.
Completely motionless.
As though her soul had left with the disconnected call.
Minutes passed.
Maybe hours.
She couldn't tell anymore.
Eventually, her eyes wandered towards her bedroom.
Everything inside remained exactly as Lingling had left it.
Her favorite sweater still hung behind the bedroom door.
Her books remained neatly arranged on the shelf.
Her coffee mug sat untouched.
Orm slowly walked toward the bedside table.
There...
Rested another simple photograph.
The two of them.
Smiling.
Riding a bicycle in one of their weekends getaway years ago.
Captured forever in a moment where neither of them knew life could be this cruel.
Orm carefully picked up the frame.
Her fingers gently traced Lingling's smiling face.
As though afraid even the photograph might disappear.
The tears she'd been holding back finally broke free.
One after another.
Until she couldn't breathe anymore.
She sank onto the floor.
Pulling the picture tightly against her chest.
Rocking back and forth.
Like someone desperately trying to comfort a heart that could no longer be comforted.
"Six months, Ling..."
she whispered between sobs.
"Six months..."
Her cries echoed through the empty bedroom.
"I should be holding you."
"I should be taking care of you."
"I should be beside you..."
"But I'm here..."
"...and you're somewhere I can't even reach."
She pressed her forehead against the glass frame.
Her tears fell endlessly over the photograph, blurring Lingling's smiling face beneath droplets of grief.
"The future we secretly dreamed about to our own selves..."
She smiled sadly through broken sobs.
"Our quiet mornings."
"Us growing old together."
"It feels like it's slipping through my fingers again and again..."
"And no matter how tightly I hold on..."
"I can't stop it."
The room remained painfully silent.
Only her crying filled the darkness.
Slowly...
Orm lifted her tear-stained face toward the ceiling.
She clasped both hands tightly around the photograph.
Her lips trembled.
Her voice was barely a whisper.
"God..."
"Please..."
"I know I don't deserve to ask You for anything after everything I've done."
"I know I've made mistakes."
"I know I failed the woman I love."
Fresh tears rolled down her face.
"But if You can hear me..."
"Please..."
"Protect her."
"Heal her."
"Take away her pain."
"I don't care how long it takes."
"I don't care if I have to wait another six months..."
"...another six years..."
"...or even the rest of my life."
"Just bring her back."
"Bring back the woman who smiled at me like I was her entire world."
"Bring back the woman who loved me with everything she had."
"I don't need anything else."
"I don't need happiness."
"I don't need another chance for myself."
"I only need to know that she's okay."
"Please..."
"Let her remember how deeply she was loved."
"Let her remember that somewhere..."
"...someone is still loving her with every heartbeat."
Silence answered her prayer.
Only the sound of her quiet sobbing remained.
Yet somehow...
Within all that pain...
A tiny thread of hope still refused to break.
Because love...
Real love...
Never truly disappeared.
It waited.
Patiently.
Faithfully.
Even through unbearable silence.
Even through impossible distance.
Even when memories faded.
Even when the whole world said to let go.
Orm gently kissed the photograph.
Her tears continued to fall.
"I'll wait for you," she whispered into the darkness, her heart heavy but resolute.
"No matter how long it takes, I love you... I'll never stop loving you. I will not give up on you, Lingling. I'll be here, waiting, praying."
"I will fight for us, for the love that binds us, even if it feels like it's unraveling."
"I will love you until my last breath, and I won't stop until you come home."
Someday, Lingling would come back to her-whole and complete.
And until that day...
Orm would wait.
She would wait...
Even if it meant waiting forever.
-
Another month slipped by.
Seven months.
Seven unbearably long months that felt less like time passing and more like surviving countless little deaths.
Outside, rain fell relentlessly over Bangkok, the droplets tapping softly against the bedroom window like gentle fingers begging to be let inside.
The city lights blurred beneath the curtain of rain, melting into streaks of gold and white.
Cars passed below, people hurried home beneath umbrellas, and somewhere in the distance, life continued as though nothing had changed.
But inside Orm's apartment...
Time had stopped.
Orm sat motionless at the edge of her bed, wrapped in an oversized sweater that once belonged to Lingling.
The fabric had long since lost Lingling's scent, but Orm still wore it every night, convincing herself that if she closed her eyes hard enough, she could still imagine being embraced by the woman she loved.
The room was painfully quiet.
Too quiet.
The silence had become her constant companion.
She lowered her trembling gaze to the necklace resting in her palm.
It was the birthday gift Lingling had given her years ago.
A simple silver pendant.
To everyone else, it was nothing more than an ordinary necklace.
But to Orm...
It carried an entire lifetime.
She could still remember the way Lingling had nervously fastened it around her neck, smiling shyly before whispering,
"Now you'll always carry a piece of me."
The tears she'd been holding back for days finally escaped.
One...
Then another...
Until they came endlessly.
They dripped onto the silver pendant resting in her hands.
"I'm still carrying you..."
She squeezed the necklace tightly against her chest.
Her shoulders shook violently.
She bent forward until her forehead rested on her knees.
The sob that escaped her was unlike any she'd cried before.
It wasn't loud.
It wasn't dramatic.
It was the sound of someone whose heart had finally become too exhausted to keep breaking.
She had survived two whole years without Lingling.