Chapter 14
Isat down on the sofa next to Lythandra and she instantly turned her attention towards me. “So Theo tells me that you come from the mortal realm, how have things been over there?” she asked brightly, and I absolutely could not understand how such a sweet-natured female could be the Goddess of War.
“I miss the mortal food the most,” she said, sighing deeply.
That admission took me by surprise. “How can you be bored when you have the most delicious things over here?” I asked in disbelief and told them about the Zerquin fruit I had shared with Sylwen and her daughter.
Lythandra let out a bubbly laugh and said, “There was a time when Theo over there ate Zerquins allll dayyyy long!”
He shook his head, smiling. “I think you are grossly exaggerating, Lytha. That was centuries ago and it was only one particular summer when the Zerquins were extra tasty.”
He winked at me, and my stomach did a funny little flip at that.
Caelan joined us on the terrace at some point, and the conversation went from food to new shops that had opened in town and some gossip about people whose names I had never heard.
I felt Theo watching me closely, but every time I looked over to him his gaze went to someone else.
It didn’t take long for Lythandra and Malek to start bickering, but thankfully the food was ready, and we all escaped to the buffet to fill our plates.
Theo always stood a safe distance away from us, but he had ditched his official robes for a more casual look.
He wore black trousers cut generously enough to look loose even on this man who was built like a bear.
His black shirt was loosely draped over his upper body, only giving a small idea of what might be hiding beneath the thin fabric.
The shirt went down to his elbows, exposing some skin on his forearms. To my surprise, his corded forearms were covered in tattoos, ranging from runes to small depictions of ancient creatures.
The stubble on his cheeks had streaks of gray, and with his thick-rimmed glasses perched just so, he truly looked like the God of Wisdom.
I tore my eyes away before my face gave me away. Come on, Maelis. Grown woman. Not a lovesick teenager. My chest betrayed me anyway, heating up like it had a mind of its own. I cleared my throat, straightened my posture, and pretended to inspect literally nothing.
Everyone took their seat at the table, wine was handed around, and Lydia started telling stories of her time at the capital.
Apparently that’s where she usually resided when she wasn’t traveling the God realm as an ambassador to Theo’s court.
Then it was my turn to tell them stories about my life and I regaled them with my adventures on the continent before I had to return home to take care of my mother.
I told them about the different foods I had tried, about the sights I had seen and the people I had met along the way.
All the while I was talking I was acutely aware of Theo’s gaze upon me, like he was drinking in every word I was saying.
Before I even noticed it, it was well after midnight and the lanterns on the terrace had come on. I started to shiver as the temperature had dropped, even though the fire was still going strong.
I was listening to Malek telling a story of one of his many conquests (females, not cities!) when suddenly a warm blanket appeared on my lap.
I instinctively looked up towards Theo, but he seemed to be totally engrossed in Malek’s story. I had seen this kind of magic before from Lydia and looked over to her.
Her eyes met mine over the rim of her glass and she gave a slight shake of her head, nudging her chin towards Theo.
I made a show of wrapping the blanket around my shoulder and for a split second, Theo looked over to me.
I caught his gaze with mine and smiled at him.
And Theo? He had the audacity to blush! It was the most endearing thing I had ever seen, but he tore his gaze away too soon and responded to something Malek had said.
The conversation continued, but I couldn’t keep my eyes open. The warm fuzzy blanket wrapped around me and the soft cracking of the fire lulled me to sleep.
* * *
A soft hoot near my head made my breath catch. I jerked upright, blinking against the dim light, unsure where I was. Behind me, an owl took flight off into the night, and a startled squeak slipped past my lips.
Something shifted on the sofa beside me. Theo’s head lifted, his voice rough with concern. “Are you all right?”
My thoughts were foggy and slow. Heart hammering, I drew in a shaky breath and let it out, once, twice, letting the rhythm steady.
“Ehm… yes. I’m fine,” I croaked. “Where is everyone?”
“You fell asleep earlier,” he said, his voice low. “I didn’t want to wake you—you looked like you needed it. Lydia and Caelan went to their rooms; Malek and Lytha went dancing in town. I thought I’d keep you company.”
He shifted, sprawled across the couch, legs hanging off the edge. A hazard of being a giant, I guessed.
I tugged the blanket tighter around my legs and traced the glowing embers of the fire with my gaze. Silence stretched between us. He shifted again, then sat up slowly, clearing his throat.
“Listen… I wanted to extend my apologies for what transpired in my office the other day. I recognize that all of this,” he motioned with a hand, “must be rather overwhelming. The customs here, my rules in particular, differ greatly from those you’ve known, and I am well aware that your arrival was not by choice.
You’ve been thrust into a situation you did not ask for, without warning or preparation.
If my conduct, or the manifestation of my powers, added to that burden, then I am truly sorry.
I am subject to constant scrutiny, and in a moment of misplaced familiarity, I allowed myself to lose control in your presence.
It was not my intent to alarm you. I simply wished to say: it will not happen again. ”
He had lost control in my presence. Pictures of him losing control in an entirely different way, flashed unbidden before my eyes…
What would it be like to be the first to touch him with tenderness?
To watch him close his eyes and revel in the feeling of me stroking his skin, kissing him, enveloping him in my arms?
I stayed silent for a moment and when I looked over at him, he was staring into the night sky above him, as if he couldn’t bear to look at me.
“Why is no one allowed to touch you? I mean… truly. Because Lythandra is a Goddess and she was touching people all around tonight.”
He grimaced. “I was hoping you wouldn’t catch on to that. I am guessing you won’t consider simply accepting my apology and moving on from this topic, would you?” he said hopefully.
I shook my head. “No chance, God of Wisdom.”
He chuckled quietly and got up from his seat.
“We need more wine for this conversation, or at least I do.”
He walked over to the bar and came back with two glasses and a bottle of rosé wine. After downing a whole glass, he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees.
“So, you remember the prophecy…”
I nodded.
“The prophecy came to be more than 530 years ago and was written down in great detail. The priests back then had the difficult job of deciding what to do with it and how to interpret the words of the Oracle. Not only did they have to deal with the interpretation of the words, but they also had to do it fast, because I was born the same night that prophecy was issued. The prophecy says that a God of Purity shall be born and the priests assumed that that was referring to me. As a person.”
Instead of filling up another glass, Theo took the whole bottle and sipped.
“The first few years of my life were… relatively simple. One might even call it a nearly normal existence. But as I began to grow, what you mortals would refer to as adolescence, it became increasingly difficult to keep me… pure. I would sneak away with my friends, stir up mischief, and, well… girls started taking notice. That was when the sentinels decided it would be best for me to stay within the temple walls. I resisted, of course. But in the end, they confined me there. They said it was for my own good. Days turned to months, and my only real escape became the books they allowed me to read. I had to remain untainted by the outside world. And by the time they permitted me to see my friends again… they had moved on with their lives.”
He sighed and his voice was tinged with sadness.
I stayed quiet and simply watched different emotions taking over his face as he continued to tell his story. It was fascinating to see his stoic facade slip a tiny fraction, to see the person underneath the layers of gold paint.
“A few years later, a young female worked at the temple. You see, women used to be part of the temples at my court… Tale as old as time: I fell in love. But the prophecy said I had to remain pure, untouched. They forbade me from seeing her, but I couldn’t stay away.
So the sentinels sent her away and it broke my heart. ”
He paused.
“So, ultimately it was me who put the rules into place about not wanting females to work around me, because I knew it would eventually happen again.”
I stared at him. “So the male servants…”
He nodded and finished my sentence. “…are not here because I don’t trust women or don’t want to work with them. It’s simply the rules to keep any and all temptation away from me.”
He looked at me intently.
Suddenly it was hard to breathe as reality sank in.
“So you have never had the chance to have a relationship, to touch someone and be touched?” It was an intimate question, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking it.
He simply shook his head.
“That must be… difficult,” I said, not knowing how to express what I was feeling. “Don’t you ever get lonely?” I asked instead.
He huffed. “At first, I was perfectly content. I truly love what I do. I adore reading, learning new things, and using what I know to help the people in my court. But there comes a time when, after reading about so many marvelous things, you start to feel this deep longing to actually live them, not just read about them in some book. Tonight, when you were talking about all those travels, I felt something stir inside of me. This quiet but insistent tug, urging me to leave it all behind and just go. To finally see the Hanging Gardens with my own eyes, to stand beside wide rivers and peer into deep, ancient valleys… rather than simply staring at faded illustrations and imagining what they might be like.”
It finally clicked for me. “That’s why you are pushing so hard to find the evil that you are suspecting has awakened. If we defeat it and the prophecy is fulfilled, you will be able to leave here and actually have a life. And… um… Other stuff, too.”
Theo chuckled and took a sip from the bottle.
I leaned forward and took the bottle from him, taking a big swig myself.
“Thank you for telling me. I am going to do my best to help you free yourself of this prophecy.”
Theo smiled faintly “I appreciate it, I do.”
I stood up to leave and crawl into bed, but felt like I needed to apologize too.
“I am sorry for touching you. I had no idea how strict those rules were, I kind of assumed you were simply a snobbish asshole about the whole touching thing.”
Theo let out a low laugh. “Oh, I might be a snobbish asshole about many things, but not about this.”
As his laughter died, I added for good measure, “Again, I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable, it wasn’t my intention.”
He sat up straight and looked deeply into my eyes.
“You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable, Mae, quite the opposite. And that’s the most worrying part.”
And I had to admit, the heat that crept up my cheeks when he looked at me had me worried too.