Chapter 15
The following two weeks consisted of me splitting up my time between practicing with my heka and getting in shape with a blade.
The days were long, and Lydia was a ruthless teacher, but I finally started seeing some results.
In between the physical activities, I also attended briefings with Auretheos, where he would tell me about one aspect of the God realm or give me new information about the latest attacks on remote villages.
I learned about the Dreadshade Army and their powerful, but deadly gifts and the Gods he was in alliance with.
We hardly had any time to talk in private, because Theo made sure that we were never alone.
There was either a sentinel watching over us or one of his friends and advisors joined us.
Part of me was relieved that there was no awkwardness between us because we were never truly alone, but the other part of me missed talking to him and getting to know him as a person.
I attended several meetings with his sister and war master and learned about the strategic battle points and strongholds that were spaced out all over the Gods realm.
The change in my physique was the first thing I noticed.
While I had been pale and pudgy a month ago, I now had put on some weight and built up muscles.
My skin was tanned from being outside regularly and the ache in my muscles had lessened after each training session—although I still wasn’t able to gain the upper hand in any fight, at least I could defend myself long enough to not die instantly, should someone attack me.
My heka was quite another thing, progress was slow.
I had managed to do quite a few simple spells and even setting spells into motion which came to pass a week later, but those spells had been very simple.
Lydia assured me that I was doing just fine, considering that I had never had any formal training, but even I could see the doubt in her mind if I’d ever be ready to help Theo win the war that was coming.
For today, she had announced that we would take the next step in honing my powers.
I had no idea what that meant, but got dressed in my workout clothes.
Coming down the stairs, I was fidgeting with my hair and almost ran smack into Auretheos, who was coming round the corner.
I spotted him at the very last second and stopped abruptly, instantly checking to see if I had accidentally touched him anywhere.
I let out a sigh of relief.
I was so close I could hear the beat of his heart.
Or maybe it was mine, echoing in my own ears.
He smelled divine, like ink on paper and soap.
His eyes searched my face and the longing I saw in them nearly choked me.
It would be so easy to reach out. To cover his cheek with my hand, to run my palms over his tense shoulders, to put my hand on his chest and ask if he was all right.
It was hard to imagine that he had never known the comforting touch of his friends or lovers.
My family had always been an affectionate bunch, quick with hugs and kisses on the cheek.
My parents showed it with each other too, holding hands while they cooked or curling up together on the sofa in the evenings.
I wanted to comfort Theo the same way, ease the tension in his shoulders and run my fingers through his thick hair.
“You look worried. Are you doing all right?” I asked softly.
He didn’t answer right away. His jaw clenched, then unclenched. Finally, he exhaled a slow, weary breath.
“I think war is coming sooner than we thought.” His voice was low, almost hoarse. “More attacks in the north. Entire villages wiped out. Heralds are demanding allegiance or blood. I keep trying to trace the orders back to someone, anyone, but it’s like they’re ghosts.”
He stopped, his voice cracking slightly. He was angry.
Silence stretched between us. I watched him, the storm in his eyes, the way his fingers flexed restlessly at his sides.
“If this were any normal day…” I said quietly, “and we were normal people… I’d hug you.”
That pulled his gaze to mine. His eyes softened, but his body stayed rigid, like he didn’t trust himself to move.
I took a shaky breath, heart hammering in my chest.
“I’d get up on my tiptoes, because you’re a giant, obviously.”
A small smile flickered at the corner of his mouth.
“And I’d wrap my arms around you, press my face to your chest, and squeeze as hard as I can. Which admittedly would probably feel more like a tickle to you because I am nothing but a weak little mortal.”
He opened his mouth, ready to protest, but then saw the teasing smile on my lips and let it go with a huff that wasn’t quite a laugh.
“And with that hug,” I said softly, “I’d take away some of the weight on your shoulders. I’d whisper that the darkness won’t last. That we’ll find a way to stop the attacks. To make this right.”
His smile came slowly, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He exhaled a long breath, tired breath.
“If this were any normal day,” he murmured, “and we were normal people… I’d very much enjoy that hug.”
A pause. His voice dropped.
“Thank you for that… not-hug hug. Honestly, it might be the best one I’ve never gotten.”
A laugh bubbled up, the kind of laugh that stings a little, because it carries just as much sadness as happiness.
I stepped back, giving him space.
He nodded once, then turned toward the staircase. I watched as he disappeared up the steps, the shadows swallowing the broad line of his shoulders one step at a time.
I stayed where I was, arms still faintly aching with the ghost of a hug I hadn’t given.
Walking towards the front door, I heard coughing, alerting me that someone had entered the hallway and had probably seen our exchange. It was an older man with gray hair. He appeared to be a sentinel, although his purple gown was slightly different from Caelan’s.
“You must be Maelis,” he said with a bored tone to his voice, but the intelligence in his eyes told me that he had clearly seen how close I had been to touching Theo back there.
“I am, sir. May I help you with something?” I asked, deciding that playing the devout mortal girl was probably my best course of action.
“No, I do not need your help,” he said pointedly and walked towards Theo’s office, disappearing inside.
* * *
As I stepped outside, Lydia wasn’t in our usual spot.
Instead, she had saddled two horses and was already atop one of them.
“Let’s go for a little ride,” she said and threw the reins towards me.
I caught them midair and lifted myself up onto the horse with ease.
“So our little healer girl knows how to ride, excellent,” she said with a smirk.
And with that her horse set into motion, galloping towards the woods that led to the city. I followed close by, enjoying the fresh air on my face and the speed at which we were going.
Instead of taking the street into town, we turned right and rounded a little hill.
We rode for an hour or two, hardly speaking and enjoying the surrounding nature .
The path got more narrow and wasn’t paved with cobblestones anymore, so we had to slow down the horses.
The dirty road was leading us down towards a wide stream of crystal-clear water, coming directly from the mountains.
We dismounted and let the horses graze, tying them to a nearby tree.
“Let’s walk a little further,” Lydia said, her lips twitching with amusement. “I’d rather not have your magic turn our horses into… abstract art.”
I flushed but grinned anyway. “That’s an insult to abstract art. My magic’s not that chaotic… usually.”
“Usually,” she echoed, shaking her head. “Which is exactly why we’re keeping a safe distance from anything with hooves.”
I rolled my eyes, though the corner of my mouth twitched. “Fine. But just so you know, I fully intend to behave.”
We stopped when we reached the spot where the river was the widest and only a stretch deep. The water was running busily between big boulders which looked like someone had placed them there so they could cross the river with dry feet.
“What exactly are we doing here?” I asked Lydia, who was balancing on one of the smaller boulders.
“I am sure you have noticed that your powers aren’t improving,” Lydia said matter-of-factly.
I nodded and somehow felt ashamed. I had come here to help and so far, I had only been able to summon flowers, run a bath an hour in advance, and conjured up a little rain one week in advance. I was pretty sure that those were not the powers Theo had been searching for hundreds of years.
“I have been trying to figure out why you can’t access your powers and I think I know why.
” Lydia continued, sitting down on the boulder, taking off her shoes and placing her feet in the cold water.
“Wordsmiths are a rare breed of magical beings, Mae. They are created by the Fates to fulfill some kind of purpose. Not always is the purpose tied to an oracle or a prophecy, and their purpose is not always as big as ending a war. But wordsmiths are only made if there are no alternatives.”
I hadn’t known that. “So we are something like a last resort? Why are they so hesitant about using our powers?” I asked.
“Because our power comes from the Fates themselves and it’s far more powerful than other types of magic.
It is put into a body that was not made to withstand this much pressure, after all, the wordsmiths are no Gods.
The magic is like a living organism, it stretches and grows and sometimes has a mind of its own. ”
Instantly, I thought back to how sick I had felt in the past few years, the migraines and dizziness that had plagued me, even in my sleep. It all made sense now, knowing what kind of power was sleeping inside me.
“The night that I used the heka on myself, I was feeling ill. My head felt like it was going to explode, I was sick and feverish. I decided to use the heka on myself, so I could sleep for once. Do you think that was the power inside of me, trying to get out?”
Lydia’s forehead wrinkled up. “It’s quite possible for the power to manifest in that way.
If you weren’t using your power enough, it could have been building up inside you, poisoning you from the inside.
You are the first mortal I know of that has ever been given this particular heka.
I haven’t yet figured out why it had to be you, but I am sure the Fates had their reasons. ”
Another puzzle piece clicked into place for me and yet it was still impossible to see the whole picture of why I was here.
“So do you think that the Fates made a mistake by giving the heka to a mortal like me? Maybe I am not strong enough to wield that power and that’s why I can’t do powerful spells?”
I held my breath while I waited for Lydia’s answer.
If what I suspected was true, it could have devastating consequences for all of us, especially for Theo.
I couldn’t bear to tell him that I was of no use to him, that I could not free us of this prophecy and that all of his hopes for the future were for naught because my stupid mortal body was too weak to wield my heka.
Lydia contemplated my question and looked at me earnestly.
“I don’t know, is the honest answer. If you had asked me this question a few weeks ago, I would have told you that the Fates make no mistakes.
Everything has a purpose. But now… I don’t know.
We simply don’t know yet what you are actually capable of.
That’s why we are here today. This river flows from high up in the holy mountains, legend says that’s where the Fates reside.
So what better place to try out something new than here, where you are directly connected to the Fates? ”
I appreciated Lydia’s optimism, but I was scared to try and fail, scared to find out that the Fates had indeed made a terrible mistake and had chosen the wrong person for the job.
I was scared that my powers might have been powerful to begin with, but had withered and slowly died when I hadn’t used my heka.
But there was no way around it, I had to find out for sure.
“Where do we start?”