Chapter 18 #2
Please don’t tell him about this. Enbergin”
I snort laughed in a very unladylike manner. The Fates bless Enbergin.
I finished the whole plate and went to take a shower.
It was only half past eight when I was ready to go, having donned on some brown trousers and a white blouse.
It was supposed to be a nice day, but the temperatures had dropped significantly in the last couple of weeks, so I made sure to also pack a warm coat.
When I came downstairs, a sentinel was waiting for me in the lobby, a basket in hand.
“We packed you some lunch, my lady,” he said politely and handed me the basket.
“Thank you so much, I’ll take it to the stables,” I responded and made my way outside.
Auretheos was already there, dressed in a sentinel’s purple uniform.
I raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“I don’t travel around much, as you know, and I don’t want to draw too much attention to myself. Hence the uniform,” he said, gesturing down his body.
I wanted to reply that he looked absolutely delicious in it and would certainly draw the attention of people, but instead I simply nodded.
He clearly had no idea what he did to me.
They say forbidden fruits taste sweeter, but my attraction to him went deeper than that.
There was something about him that simply seemed to draw me closer each time we met—as if some invisible force was pushing us together, enticing me to pull him out of his comfort zone.
Still, I’d do my best to hide my feelings.
It wasn’t only that he was off limits; it was the fear that if he ever realized how deeply he affected me, he might turn away.
Better to keep my distance, pretend my heart didn’t race whenever he looked at me.
Desire was dangerous—especially when it risked breaking the fragile balance between us.
We mounted the horses and started our journey.
“It is going to take us a couple of hours to get there, and we’ll have to return in the afternoon to avoid riding in the dark,” he explained.
“Couldn’t we have taken the Pathways instead?” I asked.
“It would have been quicker to take the Pathways of course, but I thought it would be good for you to discover more of my realm,” he said, but the slight blush on his face made me wonder if he had partly chosen the horses so we could spend more time together.
It was wishful thinking, and I definitely wouldn’t ask him about it, but the thought made me feel happy and giddy inside.
For the first hour we didn’t talk much, both of us enjoying the scenery.
Theo pointed out trees to me or a striking rock formation.
We rode past orchards, the trees covered in thick blankets to protect the more delicate roots and trunks from frost bite.
Theo always seemed to know what was growing there, like he knew every stretch of his realm like the back of his hand.
He told me stories of the villages we passed by, giving detailed descriptions of the history and architecture of the places.
It was impressive to realize how much he knew.
He was the God of Knowledge after all, but being able to store this much information in one single brain was mind-boggling to me.
He was in the middle of one of his explanations on how the town we were entering had managed to use gravity and an intricate system of underground tunnels to create an irrigation system when I yawned.
“I’m sorry,” he said after a moment. “I’ve been talking the whole way. You must be bored with my lessons. I tend to get carried away.”
He lowered his gaze to the path, pushing his glasses higher on his nose. Color crept up his cheeks, then down his neck.
I had the sudden, overwhelming urge to reach for him, to tip his chin up, to tell him he never had to apologize for being himself, but I kept my hands to my sides.
“Don’t be silly,” I said softly. “You’re not boring me. I was just thinking how impressive all of this is, how much you know. I’ll never remember everything you told me, but I love hearing you talk about the things that matter to you.”
He cleared his throat. “You’re being kind,” he said, adjusting his glasses again. “Still… I’ll try to be less scholarly on the way back.”
When we finally reached the small town where my mother was staying, it was hard to contain my excitement to see her.
We shared a long hug, and I was glad to learn that she had survived our run-in with Ignara unscathed.
The afternoon passed quickly as we sat in the garden of the inn where my mother was staying, drinking tea and eating cake.
My mother looked well and said she had been sleeping better these past few days. She had already befriended some Faeries who lived around the inn and enjoyed learning about their culture. Auretheos was hesitant at first to join us, but my mother insisted and they got on great.
Before I knew it, it was time to leave. My mother hugged me tightly and turned to Theo.
She studied him for a long moment before she smiled.
“She doesn’t always let people see her properly,” she said, her gaze flicking briefly to me. “But she has a good heart. She always has, even when she made choices she shouldn’t have.”
Theo inclined his head, listening, and something in my chest tightened.
“People like to believe a single moment defines a life,” my mother went on. “That one mistake can outweigh years of trying to do right. I never believed that.”
“Mother,” I said quickly, heat rushing to my face.
She looked at me then, her expression softening.
“All I mean,” she said gently, “is that my daughter carries more than she deserves. And she forgets that survival is not a sin.”
Theo’s expression shifted, softened, understanding dawning where I did not want it. I stepped forward at once, putting myself between them before the past could spill out.
“Goodbye mother, I’ll write to you as often as I can” I said and hugged her again. But as we were about to get on our horses, Theo turned back to my mother.
Theo spoke then, his voice steady as he addressed my mother, not me. “I don’t think character is revealed by the worst thing a person has done,” he said. “I think it’s revealed by how they choose to move forward afterward.”
He had spoken to my mother, but the words landed squarely in my chest, as though he’d aimed them there all along.