Chapter 19
We had just left town when Theo started talking.
“Your mother is great, I understand why you miss her so much,” he said.
“Yes, she is a gentle soul. We didn’t always get along so well, but after my father’s death and her illness, things shifted between us. A lot of things happened while I was away from home,” my voice cracked, “and for a while she thought she had lost me. It made her softer.”
Theo looked at me, but I stared ahead. I couldn’t look at him, or I’d let down all of my defenses and confess to every single thing I had ever done wrong in my life.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, not anymore.
But trust wasn’t the problem. Shame was.
The things I’d done, or failed to do, still clung to me like a second skin.
He saw the world through logic and reason, through carefully measured choices and principles.
I had never been that way. Once, I had been reckless, driven by emotion, and my carelessness had cost lives, though he didn’t know that yet.
How could I tell him, when I could barely face it myself?
He didn’t push me, but time was running out for me.
My secrets couldn’t remain secrets for much longer.
To distract us, I told him stories from my childhood, the mischief my friends and I used to cause, the way we drove my mother mad with our antics, and the quiet rituals she and I had created after my father’s death.
We got about halfway when the wind picked up and gray clouds appeared over the mountains.
“Should we look for cover somewhere?” I asked, and Theo nodded.
We rode on for a few more stretches and spotted a wooden structure off the road to our left.
It started raining before we could even get there, the heavy rain soaking our clothes instantly.
We finally reached the shelter which turned out to be an empty barn and quickly went inside.
I wrapped my arms around myself, teeth chattering despite my best efforts to stop.
Auretheos glanced back at me. “You’re shaking.”
“I’ll survive,” I said, though my voice betrayed me.
He didn’t argue. Instead, he crossed the room and crouched near a stone hearth half-buried in dust. With a flick of his wrist, dry wood clattered into place, and fire followed a heartbeat later.
Heat bloomed through the space, chasing the cold from my bones. A blanket appeared around my shoulders.
I stared.
He noticed and gave a careless shrug. “What good is being a god,” he said, “if you can’t manage a few parlor tricks?”
We sat next to the fire and Theo opened the basket which still contained the remnants of our lunch provisions. He handed me a cucumber sandwich and took a bite of his own.
“So, what exactly can you do with your magic?” I asked between bites. “I know you have a super brain and can stop time. I saw you working the purple magic light and you can obviously fight. Plus, you can do neat parlor tricks with fire, but is there any more?”
He swallowed his last bite and leaned back on his hands.
“Every God has a basic level of magic. We can do pretty much anything we want, to a certain degree, like you can. But then each God has their specialty, something they excel at. It’s all about balance with the Gods, nobody is supposed to be stronger than the other and combined, our powers ensure the safety and well-being of every creature and mortal.
So it’s hard to answer your question.” He shifted back a little and sat up straight again.
“So let’s try something else. Ask me to do something and we will see if it works.”
The way he looked at me was a challenge and I had to admit that this was turning out to be a pretty great pit stop. What should I choose?
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
I opened my mouth to speak, but he tilted his, watching my fingers.
“You do that a lot,” Theo said. “The tapping. Why are you doing it?”
I froze for a heartbeat. He had noticed. Of course he had—he noticed everything. A dozen answers fluttered through my mind. I sifted through them and chose one that was true enough to stand on its own.
“It’s… a habit,” I said lightly. “Leftover from children’s games. I do it when I need a moment to decide. Buys me a little time.”
A half-truth. I didn’t add the rest—that if I tapped the pattern just right, the Fates would lean in and make the choice for me, and I could simply follow where the thread tugged.
He studied me for another second, as if weighing the answer, then nodded once.
“Fair enough.”
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
Red for the roses, white for the veil, one to remember, one to betray.
“Let me think… How about you conjure up some wine for us?” I asked, finally committing to a choice.
Theo rolled his eyes. “This is too easy, wordsmith.” He flicked his hand and a bottle of rosé wine and two glasses appeared in front of us.
“Hmmmm, not bad,” I mused and tried to think of something else. “That was too easy! Can you make a monkey appear here in this barn?”
Theo threw his head back and laughed. “Yes, I can. But why would I want to?”
I loved hearing him laugh, his voice was so deep and rich and made me feel all tingly. We went back and forth, Theo conjuring up the most absurd things, one after another and one bottle of wine turned into two.
“Can you control the weather?” I asked, popping a grape into my mouth.
“Certain aspects of it,” Theo said. “And only for a short time. It’s important not to interfere too much with the natural order of things.”
“So,” I said lightly, “you could have stopped the rain out there.”
He didn’t answer right away. Instead, he turned his glass in his hands, watching the light shift through it.
“Yes,” he said at last.
“Then why didn’t you?” The question landed heavier than I’d intended.
Theo lifted his gaze to me then, not sharply, not suddenly, but as though he’d decided something and was bracing himself for it. His expression softened, something unguarded flickering there before he looked away again.
“For the same reason I didn’t suggest the Pathways,” he said quietly.
I waited.
He cleared his throat. “Because some things,” he added, “are… worth taking the longer way for.”
I didn’t answer.
There was no need to say anything.
I focused on the grape in my fingers, turning it slowly until the skin split.
“So,” I said at last, far too casually, “what can’t you do?”
Theo smiled. “More than I care to admit.”
I hummed. “I know we joked about it tonight, but I truly think it’s so impressive what you can do. I sometimes forget that you are an actual God, but when you stepped onto that field in Rivermond. Holy hell, you looked like one and you acted like it too.”
Auretheos stilled at that and without a warning, his mask of the somber stoic was back in place.
“Did I say something wrong?” I asked.
“No, of course not. I am sorry, I guess I am simply tired. It’s late, maybe we should take the Pathways back to the Lodge and pick up the horses tomorrow.”
He got up and started packing our things, gone was the relaxed and happy Theo.
“I am sorry, but I don’t understand what happened,” I said again, getting up too and walking towards Theo. He held out a hand to halt me in my approach.
“Please just drop it, all right? You didn’t do anything wrong, I simply hadn’t realized how late it was.”
But I was not about to let it go and crossed my arms in front of my chest.
“What is going on with you? We were having a good time and all of a sudden you get so angry with me.”
Theo stopped with his pointless tidying and ran his hands through his curly hair, blowing out a hard breath.
“I am not angry with you. But I can’t be having these kinds of conversations with you! It’s my mistake, the alcohol and us being alone here shifted the boundaries. But please, let me put them back up and let’s go home.”
A sour feeling spread through my belly.
“Shifting boundaries? We talked, Theo! Like two normal people, nothing happened!” Thunder clapped outside, and I froze for a second.
“We are not friends, Maelis. This is a work arrangement and if we keep pretending to be friends, hell will break loose! There is so much at stake here, it’s not only about you and me and us having a good fucking time!”
He almost yelled and I took a step back.
“Wow, what a nice way of letting me know what you think about me, thanks for that!” I hissed, balling my hands into fists at my sides.
He stomped forward, only stopping stretches away from me.
“Don’t you get it? You can’t keep flirting with me like that and expect me not to care for you. You kept saying all these nice things to me after the battle with Ignara, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that for weeks now!
What’s even worse is I want to hear how you feel about me and I want your flattery and attention. I shouldn’t care, I shouldn’t want anything from you! But here you are, occupying every single last damn part of my mind and I can’t take it, don’t you understand?” He sighed in frustration.
Wow.
His voice turned softer.
“I thought if we spent some time together, we could become friends and things would be more normal between us, but…”
I raised my arms in question.
“But what, Theo? Most people would be happy to hear that someone was impressed with them. How dare I be kind and honest with you?”
I could hear myself talking like an indignant child, but I was hurt by his reaction. I couldn’t stop the words tumbling out of my mouth.
“I am sorry, I don’t know how else to be. I like you and I want to be able to tell you I like you without you getting all angry about it.”
I turned around and walked towards the barn doors.
“I am not most people,” he said, more quietly now. “I know it’s hard to understand, but it’s taking everything in me to keep my boundaries up. I have waited more than 500 years to fulfill this prophecy, and I can’t risk it now by letting my guard down.” He sighed.