Chapter 17
“Is Pyrran gone?” Cora handed us crystal glasses filled with wine.
“He couldn’t have left soon enough,” Lioran muttered through a strained jaw.
“Thank the stars I don’t have any brothers.” Fyn chuckled before gulping down more of his wine.
“What happened?” Cora nestled into the cushions in the corner of her cabin. Her hand patted the cushion beside her.
Lioran massaged his temples. His eyes darted to mine, seeking my approval before he began. We had already discussed it, agreed to tell them both—I nodded, feeling the weight of our decision settle.
“Pyrran found us in the woods earlier…alone together.” Lioran shifted his weight. I gripped the stem of the goblet.
“Finally.” Fyn jolted his wineglass down on the table. The crimson liquid splashed to the brim. Cora shot him a glare that could have shattered the glass.
“Finally?” Lioran’s laugh echoed.
“You both tried to deny it for far too long. I even tried to delicately bring it up, but neither of you wanted to admit it. Pyrran observing it is obviously most unfortunate.”
“That was you delicately bringing it up?” I bit my lip.
“I thought you were only prodding me.” Lioran glared at Fyn.
Fyn shrugged as he gave me a knowing look. “It turns out she’s just as stubborn as you are.”
“Pyrran won’t just let this go,” Cora interrupted.
Lioran shifted slightly in his seat. He slid his hand over mine. “He won’t. We will have to face what’s coming together.”
The warmth of his touch ran through me. I thought he would tell them about Thalen, but Lioran only brought the cup to his lips.
“I’ll get us more wine.” Cora stood, clutching her glass.
I rose to follow her. Fyn and Lioran’s words faded as we entered the kitchen.
“Are you upset?” I asked. She reached an unsteady hand for the wine bottle to refill her own glass and then hesitated before pouring more liquid into mine. “I know you and Lioran once…” My voice trailed off as I struggled to say more.
The concerned look on her face grew more exaggerated with my words. “Oh no, it’s not that. I’m just worried about Pyrran. He’s been searching for anything he could use against Lioran.” Cora’s low tone left me feeling unsettled as she glanced at Lioran then back to me.
And now he had what he wanted. “I know when there’s something you want to say but won’t…
you can tell me.” She pushed her frustrations down deep within her, bottling things up—I had seen it so many times during our training sessions.
Now I saw it all clearly on her face. Something was terribly wrong.
“I’m so happy for both of you.” She clasped her hands together rigidly. “It’s just…it’s more than Pyrran. Bigger than all of us.”
What could be bigger than Pyrran telling the king and queen I was in Nythrel? I forced a swallow, my throat constricting. Had she seen something?
“Your vision?” My words caught in my throat. It was the last time I saw her this unraveled. “Please. Whatever it is you can tell me.”
“I don’t know enough yet to reveal what I saw.”
“It has to do with us…doesn’t it? You’re not going to tell me? You won’t even tell Lioran?”
“I will share when I can, but now is not the time.”
Lioran’s laughter echoed through the quaint space. I pressed my lips closed, wanting him to have his moment of peace.
Cora clutched the bottle in her trembling hands. “Who needs more wine?”
Lioran and Fyn held their glasses up in unison. Once she filled his glass, Lioran came to find me in the kitchen. His lips slowly grazed mine, and I pulled back.
“Are you alright?” Lioran slid his hand onto the small of my back. I pulled away from him, my instincts flaring. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”
“This is new to me—you kissed me in front of Fyn and Cora. In my kingdom…no one could kiss me unless they were marrying me.” His eyes narrowed. I wanted to be close to him—this world was so different. The rules of Bailoc didn’t matter here.
“I didn’t know.” He hovered close, his hand almost resting on mine, but he pulled away. “I will try to be more reserved, so you will be comfortable.”
“No…” I reached out, grabbing his hand. “This is just new to me.”
His eyes gleamed as moonlight streaked through the open window.
“Are you two going to just stay in there chatting all night? Things are going to get dreadful boring around here.” Fyn looked out the window and tapped his wineglass.
“Fyn.” Cora smacked him in the stomach. She lifted the glass to her lips. “How will you contend with Pyrran?” Cora’s cracking voice piped into the conversation.
“I don’t know yet. He’ll travel to the High Court soon,” Lioran said.
Fyn and Cora both tensed at the mention of the High Court.
“Do you think they know already?” I asked.
“It’s possible. My father has a way of finding things out.” Lioran’s eye twitched.
“Well, that’s putting it mildly.” Fyn coughed, choking on a sip of his wine.
“How?” I snapped.
Fyn’s eyes widened.
“My father can compel the truth out of anyone.” Lioran’s eyes lingered on mine, waiting for me to say something, to react at all.
I sat frozen beside Lioran. The warmth of his palm settled against mine.
“But he hasn’t sent for me.” My words challenged me even I knew it didn’t mean they wouldn’t.
“Yet.” A chill rippled down my spine at Fyn’s words.
Either they didn’t know I was here yet, or they were merely waiting.
The moon was my constant companion that night. Each time I drifted back to sleep, Pyrran’s threats pulled me awake. The sun traded places with the moon. A dense fog crept in. Lioran’s kiss still lingered on my lips—a reminder of the stolen moments I would keep.
My hand sifted over the raised edges of the leather book’s embroidery. The tie slipped loose and dangled from the binding. As I opened the ruffled edge pages of the book, I told it everything.
Your mother would have been much better at this.
A tear trickled down my face almost unnoticed. It pooled on the page.
“You know my mother? I look to you for guidance and am met with cryptic answers. Who are you?”
I will share the truth when you are ready.
“I am ready now. Whoever you are—whatever you are—you can’t care enough about me to continue to leave my questions unanswered.” The pages remained blank for a moment, and then new words formed.
My breath caught as I looked away. I was terrified to see what it might reveal. Curiosity consumed me, and I read it anyway.
I am Lord Zayric of the High Court of Nythrel.
You are my daughter, Aelira.
This book was a gift, to guide you when I could not cross the wall.
I’ve thought of you every day since I laid eyes on you.
Your mother brought you to me after you were born.
It was our first and last meeting, before the war began.
The air thickened—my lungs rejected each inhale.
My father wrote every word.
A storm raged inside of me, blurring my vision until it was almost impossible to make out the new words that formed. “Are you still at the High Court? Where can I find you?” A sharp, searing pain reverberated in my throat.
Where I am you cannot go—until we meet again these pages will guide you.
The book rattled against my chest with each heavy breath. The pages were still damp with tears. This whole time he kept the truth from me. He just let me tell him everything, about Lioran—about my fears.
You deserve the life you’ve dreamed of.
Do not settle for anything less.
He is not worthy of you.
Lioran protected me ever since I crossed the divide. He loved me in a way that I never thought possible, yet he called him unworthy.
I stopped directing my thoughts to the book. He knew I was here and did nothing about it.
My words can't be easy.
I feel your silence and sadness.
All that I share is to protect you.
Tears pooled on my silk nightgown, setting outlines in the fabric. My resentment rolled like thunder until I wailed.
I clutched my pillow.
The chamber door slammed open mere moments later, Lioran’s disheveled hair hung free. His silk robe lay open, exposing his bare chest—a thick scar still trailed over him. His frantic breathing echoed in my chambers.
“Aelira?” He scanned the room for a sign of threat, scanned me. His hands trembled as he reached for me, his fingers ran through my hair. “Are you hurt?”
The squall sharpened inside of me. His brilliant silver eyes fixated on me. “I…” My voice caught between sobs. How could I explain that I was talking to a magical book?
“Are you okay?”
I nodded as I lifted the covers over my chest, pointing to my robe near my dressing station.
He placed the robe around my shoulders. “I can go. I just wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“I know who my father is—my real father.” With my words he sat beside me, clutching my hand in his.
“How?”
“King Ardyn hid this book and my necklace in a tower in the palace. I stole them.” I held out the leather book, the cord that tied it shut dangling down.
“You stole them?” He quickly dropped the amused smirk from his face.
“He kept her things from me.” I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the dream that led me there. “My true father gave them to my mother to give to me. He’s been communicating with me through it. It’s how I knew to cross the wall.”
Maybe King Ardyn knew what they were, or maybe he was hoping I would never find a single trace of the truth that may remain.
“He enchanted it somehow to speak to you…but he hasn’t come to see you…” His eyes darted from the book to me.
“I didn’t know I was speaking to him through it until now. I thought it was just magic.”
“Do you know where he is?”
“No. Only his name, Lord Zayric. He says he’s from the High Court. Had you ever met him?”
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I have,” he said. “At least not that I remember.”
King Ardyn rejected me.
Lord Zayric wouldn’t tell me where he was.
My fingernails traced the inside of my palms, pain settling as they scraped flesh. I desperately wanted to know who I was, where I came from. “Why wouldn’t he tell me where he is? What if he doesn’t want to see me at all?”
“He enchanted a book to guide you. Your father has been with you this entire time. If he won’t say where he is there must be a reason.”
“He said I can’t go to where he is.” I tucked the book beneath the covers.
“It’s clear he wants to protect you. I spent most of my life at the High Court—I don’t want you to be there either.”
“It’s that brutal?” I asked.
“The place itself is not…no, but my parents can be.”
Lioran’s eyes glimmered with a pain I knew too well.
He hummed something familiar as I wept—the same song I hummed to him when we tried to get him home to the Heart.
“That song…” The sound stilled my body. “You remembered it?”
“I’ve known it my whole life. It’s a fae tune called the Light of Night—the song of the stars.”
“My mother used to hum it to me.”
Every detail had been carefully threaded. Their beliefs—their stories—were a part of my life for as long as I remembered. She planned it all, so I would know where I came from.
Lioran understood me, exactly as I was. He didn’t need for me to be different. My father said Lioran was unworthy, but looking at him, seeing his devotion, it couldn’t be true.
He ran his hands along my back. I stilled with his touch.
My heart burrowed further inside of me. I knew it fully then. I was in love with him, a hopeless love that tethered me to this moment—one that I would never forget.
“It’s not fair.” A long exhale escaped me.
“I know, I can imagine how heavily this is weighing on you.”
“It isn’t the only thing,” I said softly.
He drew in a breath that held a moment too long. His body stiffened with it.
For a moment I couldn’t speak. I was so afraid to tell him what I felt. If I said it, I couldn’t pretend it didn’t exist anymore. He sat there patiently waiting for me to speak.
He deserved to hear exactly how I felt. “My heart, it’s yours. I never expected to fall in love with you.”
“You… love me?” he asked as if he didn’t believe it—as if he wasn’t sure if he should have even asked it. It was the first time I had ever seen his confidence waver.
“Entirely. I love you, Lioran,” I whispered.
He kissed me fiercely. When he drew back from the kiss, he replied, “I wasn’t sure if that was even possible.”
I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn’t even stop to think how little time it took Lioran to arrive. “Lioran…”
“Yes, Aelira?”
“How did you get here so quickly?”
“I heard you.” He took hold of my hand and brushed his lips against my palm. “My chambers are next to yours.”
“Next to?”
“Your chambers are for the Lady of Lythira, the Guardian’s bonded wife.” I took in the room's opulence again, every carved detail etched into the furniture. The sprawling layout of the room—the windows overlooked the Heart—the ivy that crept in across the stone arches of the high ceilings.
My mouth opened, ready to protest, but I cleared my throat instead. “This is what you wanted Fyn to do? You were so concerned when you were barely holding on.”
“I wanted to make sure you were safe and comfortable. Having you next to me ensured both.”
The tears flowed faster as I took in his words—this space was never meant for me. “I can’t stay here. It’s for your wife. I am not your wife.”
“It doesn’t matter. I want you here.”
His arm wrapped around my waist, and he lowered me onto the bed. My body settled under his as our lips grazed. The kiss traveled through me until I felt myself pulling him closer.
He pulled back. As he sat beside me his gaze swept over me, slowly taking me in. “If I don’t stop now. I won’t be able to resist you.”
A gnawing ache stirred within me. I needed him next to me.
He lifted my palm to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss. I resisted pulling him closer.