Chapter 18
Lioran was called away to council. The castle halls twisted and turned, leading me to the garden. Perfumed air wafted on the midday breeze. I savored every sweet scent. Each time a flower grew from my magic, I remembered its fragrance like it was a part of me.
Dew drops decorated a row of pink roses. Their petals spread wide, revealing a perfect shape. My fingertips traced the edge of the bloom, craving its silky touch.
It shriveled.
I recoiled and another crumbled turning to dust from my hand’s graze.
Something pulled within me, thrashing and whirling. Steeped in pain, my magic flowed chaotically. I clasped my hands together in my lap, terrified I would accidentally touch another.
“That’s most curious…” Elric’s voice startled me. “Are they questioning you?”
I wasn’t sure when he arrived. He always seemed to find me. “Aren’t you needed in council?” My voice trembled. I slid in front of the blooms I ruined, wanting to hide them from view.
“Not yet. I thought I’d take in some fresh air.” He gripped the stone flower box, peering around me. “It seems we are destined to keep running into each other. Some may say it’s the stars’ wish.”
The hairs rose on my arms.
“It all comes with a price.” He approached me slowly.
“What does?” I asked.
“Surely, Prince Lioran explained it to you.” He brushed the stray silver hairs from his face. “Or maybe he didn’t. I suppose he wouldn’t.”
“Tell me,” I commanded.
“If you wish it. Only because I believe you deserve the truth.” He ran his thumb over his fingernails. “We can all sense how fragile your magic is, Princess.”
He knew. We had trained in the open, but always concealed what I was working on when others were around. Lioran thought it was safest to downplay what I could do to protect me, yet he shared it with Elric.
My magic shifted through me, threatening to release itself again, but I stilled my hands at my sides.
“When a fae isn’t ready to channel magic, it will take just as much as it gives.” His gaze locked onto mine, pinning me in place. I wanted to protest it, to question him further, but I thought of Evyn and didn’t utter another word.
“When you use your magic, you probably feel yourself grow weaker.”
It was true. Training sessions left me longing for my bed. Sometimes I was even unable to think clearly afterwards.
“The greater the magic, the greater the cost. They are training you to restore. Are they not?” He sat on the stone wall next to me, assessing the damaged rose with his fingers. “Restoration of these blight-burdened lands would be most beneficial for all, but especially the prince.”
“Everyone wants the blight reversed. Both realms would benefit.”
“Yes…but one’s very future hangs in the balance and a certain prince is about to be the king of a land that can’t sustain itself.”
I couldn’t understand how Lioran could trust him. Elric showed little allegiance.
“They are training me because I asked them to. I needed to learn how to control my magic.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to explain, but once my mouth opened, I couldn’t stop myself.
“It works even better when you think it’s your idea.” Elric took a step closer to me. “So, when the time comes and he asks you to make a sacrifice—you will. Without hesitation. Without thought.”
Lioran would never do that. He loved me. He believed in me.
“You’re lying.” I leaned back into the flower box, but swiftly pulled myself away from it again.
“You offend me. I came to find you to tell you the truth. To save you. And here you are, calling me a liar. I could just leave you here and let you figure out the rest.” He turned on his heels, but hesitated before taking a single step.
The words he spoke. He knew it all. It couldn’t be as he said. I couldn’t allow it to be. He finally stepped forward. “Wait!” I cried. If there was any truth in his words, I had to hear them.
Elric spun around to face me again. “Didn’t you wonder how he knew you were the disturbance at the divide? How he was there waiting for you?” Elric’s breath settled on my collarbone. “Lady Cora saw you coming and told him everything. You’re the answer to all his problems.”
“And they told you this?”
“Of course, he told me,” Elric said. “He isn’t keeping you a secret.”
A hard knot formed in my throat, silencing me.
“He has a plan—and you, my dear, are a part of it. A very disposable part.”
“What do you mean?”
“He will convince you that he loves you.” He waited for my retort.
He kissed me like he meant it.
Lioran held me like he would never let me go.
If Elric was telling the truth—if it had all been a lie, then Lioran knew just how to fool me.
I couldn’t accept that—I stood there, frozen and broken.
“Then you’ll do anything for him. You’ll hand him a fully healed Kingdom, but he won’t care what it costs you. He’ll continue his life without you. Marry, have children, rule the way he was always intended—until he forgets your name entirely.”
I quaked under the weight of his words. Each thing he said was more painful than the last, until agony crushed me. Air withdrew from my lungs slowly until they ached.
“He wouldn’t.” I skirted myself over on the stone wall, putting distance between the two of us.
“It’s too late, isn’t it?” His eyebrow raised. “You’ve fallen for him already.” He rubbed his hands together. “It can’t be easy to hear this.” He slid his hand on top of mine.
I pulled free from his grasp. “I don’t believe you.”
“You do. The truth is painful.” His exhale collided with my cheeks. “The fae are cunning beings. This world isn’t like yours.” He pulled back for a moment and took a step away from me. “I must go, but I’m sure we’ll find each other again soon. I’m here to help. All you need to do is ask.”
He walked off and didn’t look back. My hands dripped with sweat; my grip was slipping as I clung onto the stone.
Lioran wouldn’t. He couldn’t.
My presence here was supposed to be a secret, yet he knew everything. Lioran and I had only just confessed our love, but he somehow knew that, too.
I crumpled onto the stone path, afraid to touch the grass, or anything around me. A gush of wind tore through the garden and thrashed against me.
My father’s words were etched into the book like he knew something I didn’t. Lioran was unworthy.
Pyrran said he was using me—that Lioran couldn’t love me. It angered him, but Lioran never denied it. Never challenged it. Not once did Lioran tell him he loved me.
He didn’t even say it back when I told him I loved him.
My magic fizzled until all that remained was a bitter taste on my tongue. Smoky clouds rolled overhead. A chill stung my chest from the onyx.
I tried to recall moments with Lioran—his lips on mine, the way he looked at me, the way he told me he loved me before Pyrran interrupted us. It all felt real, but what if it wasn’t?
I pulled myself up on the stone box, careful not to touch a single bloom. The rain pelted me. Drenched in agony, my gown clung to me. My body weakened with the chill that overtook me. I carefully followed the path back into the castle. My boots never left the stone.
“Usually, it’s best to seek shelter before a storm.” The light dimmed in Fyn’s eyes as he assessed me. “Are you hurt?” He braced me as I stumbled. “I will get Lioran.”
“No.” The stone wall braced me. It was so cold, so lifeless.
I wanted Lioran to hold me, to tell me his love was real, but if he was lying to me—I would fall for it all again. If he admitted he lied it would break me.
“Please, let me walk you to your chambers. You need to change out of those clothes.” Fyn reached for me, his hand hovering between us. “Lioran would want to be here for you.”
Fyn’s words left me aching, longing for a truth I couldn’t grasp. Elric knew things he shouldn’t have. Lioran promised to protect me. Yet he was there, waiting at the divide just as Elric said. Cora must have told him. She knew the truth behind it all.
“Where is Cora?”
“I’m not sure. Do you want me to find her for you?” He gripped my arm tighter as I stumbled forward.
“Yes.”
Cora was hiding something.
She had a vision and wouldn’t tell me about it.
I deserved the whole truth, and this time I wouldn’t take no for an answer.
The fireplace blazed in my chambers as I buttoned the front of my silver riding tunic. Juniper hung the dripping gown in the window, shaking her head. “Have some tea, my lady. It’ll warm you.” Her tiny frame seemed childlike in the grand doorway to my chamber as she slipped through.
The leather book relaxed in my hands as I undid the wrap. I needed its guidance before Cora arrived. All of my energy went toward the book as I let the tea warm me.
“Why is Lioran unworthy?”
Lioran is the future King of Nythrel.
He can't offer you the future you deserve.
I am thankful for the protection he has granted you.
He must realize he can't keep you.
He couldn’t. Maybe he didn’t even want to. I replayed Elric’s words in my mind directing them all to the book.
All magic comes with a price.
You must be balanced or it will take its toll.
The greater the magic, the greater the cost.
“And Lioran? Has he been lying to me this entire time?” I choked on the words as my chest constricted.
I can't read him.
I can only read you and what you choose to share with me.
Look inside yourself for the answers.
You have an excellent sense of who people truly are.
The clearing in Evyn and the rose petals—both times I destroyed the land with my magic because of my turmoil and uncertainty. Lioran told me that he hoped we both could save the land. He didn’t deny what he said to Pyrran. If this was all a part of his plan, why would he tell me any of it?
“Aelira?” Cora knocked on the door. I slammed the book shut and set it aside.
“Come in,” I called, sitting back in front of the fire. She peeked around the door, red hair glittering in the fire’s warmth. Her green eyes were still, but skeptical.
“Fyn sent for me.” Cora knelt beside me in front of the fire—her eyes searched mine. “He told me how he found you. What happened?”